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Penname: achelle131 [Contact]
Real name: achelle denali cullen
Status: Member
Member Since: March 22, 2009
Website: http://www.fanfiction.net/~achellecandy
Beta-reader:

Got Twitter? Follow me! @achelle131


Twilight fan. Team Emmett. Team Edward. Team Paul. Team Rosalie


For teasers/spoilers and other fun discussions, visit my threads on the twilighted forum:


Vanity and Patience/Strength and Remorse:
http://www.twilighted.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=3584


Hungry Like The Wolf: 
http://www.twilighted.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=14414


 


[Report This]
 
 
Reviews by achelle131
 
Summary:

Edward's family hire Bella Swan to break the heartbreaker's heart in hopes to have him see the error of his womanizing ways. Bella realizes that they have a little too much in common and is having a little too much fun with this subject. EXB Lots of lemons later.

 

banner done by achelle131


Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: Always Human , SMUT - Best of the Best - Edward and Bella
Chapters: 43 Completed: Yes Word count: 322353
[Report This] Published: October 21, 2008 Updated: September 13, 2011


Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: March 28, 2009 Title: Chapter 28: Left Behind

Great piece! It keeps me glued to my computer! I devoured 28 chapters in 3 days! Pleas tell your beta to check for some grammatical errors.  Its not a big deal because there aren't many, but some are there.  Other than that, its got a lot of twists and turns and leaves you wanting to know what will happen next.  i'm definitely digging your storytelling!

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: March 31, 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Assignments & Introductions

Erica,  I love this story! I'm a graphic designer and I'd love to do a banner for this story! Just let me know, as i have a couple ideas that im itching to share with you!

Achelle



Author's Response:

Sure I would love a new banner.  If I don't post it on the story banner I would post it on my signature for the forum. And thank you I'm glad you love this story.

 

E

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: April 01, 2009 Title: Chapter 28: Left Behind

Thanks again for uploading my banner! Its what I imagine your sexy versions of Bella and Edward would look like, and it provides you a little incentive to keep writing this story!  I've got another smaller banner in the queue that maybe you can use in your profile or something. I'll email it to you when I'm done.

Just curious, are you an NKOTB fan? Do you speak "Donnie and Jordan?" I find it endearing that Bella Swan is a New Kids fan.  I saw them last fall when they came to Wash DC, and they're coming back in June, so I may see them again. If YOU are fan, I have a picture to share with you. Hit me up on email or IM for it!

I love that you incorporated music into your writing. I ended up downloading JT's FutureSex Lovesounds and 30 Sec the Kill just because of your story, and listened to it as I read just to get the full effect!  I saw in your reviews that people don't like womanizer Edward... but um... although its kinda sleezy I find it hot, and a totally new "unattainable" edward, so thanks for writing this spin on him!

KEEP WRITING!

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: May 15, 2009 Title: Chapter 30: Gifts

Great work erica! great ideas for such thoughtful gifts! I cant wait to see what happens to my favorite couple, as i knw you'll put them through many trials before they have their happy ending.

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: July 21, 2009 Title: Chapter 31: Horrendous Holidays

Hey! this chapter rocks, Erica! ISA VIRGIN was a clever name!

by the way, your writing is wonderful. You've grown tremendously, and you seem to have a better beta this time as well! Can't wait till the next one!

 
Betrothed by locqua Rated: R starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 214]
Summary:

“What have you done Carlisle?”  The acid in my voice was palatable.  I couldn’t hide my disgust after seeing him hovering over the blonde woman, his teeth scrupulously sunk into her bruised neck.  What was he thinking?


 


 


What really happened when Carlisle made Rosalie, for Edward?  Were Rosalie and Edward entirely truthful when telling Bella that they had been nothing more than siblings from the start?  This is their story....


 


 


Create your own banner at mybannermaker.com!


Categories: Pre-Twilight Characters: Carlisle, Edward, Esme, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 24 Completed: No Word count: 66345
[Report This] Published: November 29, 2008 Updated: July 11, 2010


Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: July 07, 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Carlisle's decision

you write edward's pov beautifully, and i think you've captured his overreacting tempermental voice. i like your take on their first and second meeting. he definitely can't stand her yet there's some sort of unadmitted fascination with her,  lol. great job!



Author's Response:

Thank you very much!

 
Summary:

~From the author of In Pursuit of Normalcy and Missing Dawn~



What if, during the early stages of their relationship, Edward lost some of his carefully-maintained control with Bella one night?  What if his urges were precipitated by a force mundanely human and unavoidable?


This 3-part story is complete!


This story is a part of Twilight After Dark: A Naughty Smut Anthology Series.  Be sure & check out the other naughty stories in Twilight After Dark!



Smokin' hot TAD banner & TM&TM banner by the fabulous, talented, amazing achelle131, author of Vanity and Patience!


Categories: Twilight, Eclipse, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Esme
Challenges:
Series: Twilight After Dark: A Naughty Smut Anthology Series
Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes Word count: 20519
[Report This] Published: February 04, 2009 Updated: July 04, 2009


Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: May 30, 2009 Title: Chapter 1: The Monster and the Man

You know I just realized I never reviewed this awesome story. Very believable, and I can't believe SM never (before BD's tampon/pregnancy scene) mentioned Bella's cycle and how it could be an issue for our poor darling Edward. For a human story this could seriously churn your stomach in a bad way, but as a vampire bf/Human gf scene, what perfect sense this is!!! And the idea of Edward giving in to any temptation is just HOT HOT HOT.

In reality I must admit that he probably couldnt keep himself from killing her and watching that blue vein in her thigh and biting into it, esp after tasting her blood, but for the purpose of this story I still think your premise is brilliant. I can't wait till you add the third chapter. So interested in seeing what you have in store for these two.

Oh i have to tell you i saw Little Ashes last night. Is it bad that I can even get turned on by Rob when he's doing hot scenes with a MAN???

Hope you have a great vacation this weekend!

-Mariecel



Author's Response:

Thanks so much, Mariecel!  I'm so glad you liked this!  And I agree that in actuality, Edward probably wouldn't have been able to resist killing her at this point in their relationship, but that would've made for bad storytelling.  Lol.  And, yeah, I never would've written a "period" story that didn't involve a vampire.  The idea wouldn't appeal to me in the least if Edward wasn't a vampire, but since he is, I too thought it made sense that her period would affect him.  Someone told me that SM wrote on her website that the blood wouldn't smell/taste as "fresh" to him or some nonsense like that, but it sounds like a copout to me - an excuse for completely avoiding the (in my opinion) very obvious subject.  Anyway, again, thanks for the amazing banner!!  :D  You're awesome!

-Kari

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: July 11, 2009 Title: Chapter 3: Mutual Satisfaction

i'm so frustrated! i had just completed a 3 paragraph review of your chapter and when i hit submit, my log in had expired! I'm a bit frustrated right now.. anyway let me try to recollect what i left you:

Your set-up/introduction of the lemon was beautiful and flawless. I think you captured his feelings upon his homecoming very well and in a very believing way. this could most definitely replace that chapter in eclipse had SM not cockblocked them until their wedding night, lol.

That being said, what the hell was I thinking when I first skimmed your chapter and was shocked that they went all the way? I think, though, that it had been uqite some time since I read the first two chapters of this series, so my mind was thinking of ultra-canon-compliant MD and IPoN.

THAT being said... the sex was HOT HOT HOT! I love that they're so embarrassed/afraid yet so eager. PLUS, your Edward... delicious. I love that he is so GENEROUS in offering/giving her multiple opportunities to "bring her to completion" to use your words. You have to love a generous man. especially a hot, generous, gentlemanly man like edward. RAWR.

As always, i loved it, and of course i love you!

Sincerely,

Mariecel



Author's Response:

HA HA HA!  Glad I can throw you and show you that I'm not always so "canon-compliant"!  I once was, but I'm stretching my wings a bit!  ;)

Anyway, I'm glad you thought it was so hot, and again, I have to thank you for the amazing banner to go with it!  And yes, Eddie-by is pretty generous in this, isn't he?  How many men do you know who would lick up their own ejaculation to give their girl pleasure?  Well, I guess some people are into that sorta thing, lol.  ;)

Anyway, again, glad you liked it!

 
Summary:

Bella takes a vacation to Hilton Head Island in South Carolina to meet Alice's new boyfriend, Jasper. Rosalie and Emmett come along, too, just in case Bella didn't feel like enough of a fifth wheel. With Jasper's roommate out of town, Bella has his nice big bed all to herself. Until Edward comes home in the middle of the night...

Beautiful banner by the awesome achelle131


Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Emmett, Jacob, Jasper, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: Always Human , SMUT - Best of the Best - Edward and Bella
Chapters: 36 Completed: Yes Word count: 163211
[Report This] Published: March 01, 2009 Updated: December 21, 2011


Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: March 29, 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 Beginning at the End (V)

This is a great story. He sounds incredibly sexy, but im sitting here trying to picture rob pattinson doing a southern accent and its not working! lol  so now i have his image in my head, but something like josh lucas's voice from sweet home alabama, lol.  Thanks so much for this... its got some gravitational pull and i'd love to see waht happens next... so please keep writing!



Author's Response:

Gravitational pull? I like that a lot! :D As for the accent thing--I've had several people say they have a hard time imagining Rob Pattinson speaking with a Southern accent. Honestly, I try not to picture the actors when I write these things, BUT I always fail with Rob and Kellan Lutz, they just won't get out of my head. Not that I'm complaining. Your solution sounds good to me! But for myself, I hear it coming from Rob no problem, especially when he calls Bella 'Sugar'. *sigh* It's a lilting, cultured, subtle accent, not a heavy, twangy one.

I'm writing the next chapter now--I plan to post it tomorrow evening, work and family willing! Thanks so much for taking time to review!

Paige

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: March 26, 2009 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5 S.T.37

Cute story! I've got this and another chapter to go but so far, so good!

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: April 01, 2009 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6 Piggly-Wiggly (V)

Thanks for letting me create a banner for your story!  I was actually concerned you wouldnt like it because I know you didnt like thinking about the actors when you write so I wasnt sure if you wanted a KStew Rpatz banner.  I'm glad you liked it though!

I'd love to see where this story will take them, and where they'll end up. Interested also in what kind of obstacles you'll throw their way because I know its not going to be fluff all the time! Looking forward to more drama, lemons and other citrusy good fun!

The ending of this chapter is adorable. I'd love for him to wiggle his fingers at me too (among other things...haha, yes im pervy)!!



Author's Response:

No worries whatsoever on that--I LOVE the banner with the actors on it. I have nothing against the movie--I just think of it separately from the books or my stories. Does that make sense?

You know it's funny, but I have my own versions of the characters in my head for the most part, except for Edward and Emmett. For some reason I can't shake the images of Rob Pattinson and Kellan Lutz for them. I think because I can picture them playing the characters my way. Or maybe just because my inner sixteen-year-old thinks they're pretty. =D

Obstacles will become more apparent and troublesome after the vacation is over--just like real life. But working around them will be lots of good not-so-clean fun.

Oh, and I just assumed you were a tad pervy or why would you like this story? A healthy amount of perversity is good for the heart...or brain...or one of those important body parts! :P

Thanks again for the sexy banner! Edward is waggling his long, sensuous fingers at you and calling you sugar right now...

Paige

 

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: April 06, 2009 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7 Sweet Tea & the Southern Inquisition (V)

Great chapter! It was completely sweet but sexy at the same time! Totally hot yet enough emotion there to almost break your heart... great stuff! Southern Edward and his fingers, mmmhmm. Yes my Josh Lucas idea works wonders!

Anyway I saw the review about my banner with the grammatical error. I've emailed you with instructions, as I've already uploaded a corrected version to my photobucket. Let me know if you need my help!

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: April 09, 2009 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8 What Got Left Behind (V)

Paige! This is great! Can't wait till the next chapter! I long to see Edward waggling his fingers again!!

-Mariecel

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: April 22, 2009 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9 Bella in Her Element (V)

Rawr, he's yummy. SO glad Edward's back!! Can't wait for the next chapter!

I corrected a word on your banner and was able to replace it in photobucket so it would automatically replace here on twilighted! yey!

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: May 15, 2009 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12 Ex Communication (V)

Guesses: Are you going to use names like Jessica, Tanya, or Lauren? just guesses, nothing more.  Great chapter, Paige. I'm eager for more!

-Mariecle

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: June 06, 2009 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14 Relations & Revelations (V)

Great chapter... i  just about got all giddy at his "i love you" i want to know more about his past, so pls keep writing!

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: November 24, 2009 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14 Relations & Revelations (V)

hi paige!

so i went to sift through your chapters and try to remember the last one i read, and it was this one! i'm so behind! but not to fear... i plan on catching up on this. Southern Comfortward is completely a sweetheart, and there's no way i'll keep him abandoned for long! 

anyway, i am excited that edward has decided to relocate to washington. I can't wait to see how things pan hout with SCward and chef bella!

 
Summary:

Edward is haunted by girls with chocolate eyes and mahogany hair.  Fate is toying with his heart as he feels a pull towards these girls, and eventually loses them through unforeseen circumstances.  As a creature of eternity, how many times can you get your heart broken before it can no longer be mended? 

 

The story follows Edward from before his change to when he meets Bella.


Categories: Pre-Twilight Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Esme, Irina, Jasper, Kate, Rosalie, Tanya
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 16 Completed: No Word count: 33115
[Report This] Published: March 03, 2009 Updated: July 30, 2009


Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: May 14, 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This is well done and i like that it's in the kadence of its time period. I'm only on the first chapter at this point, but I am curious where you are going with this. And should Edward also have the mindset to join the army and fight in the Great War? just a question. I know it's mentioned in the books, and I haven't read far enoug, so I'll just keep reading.



Author's Response:

Thank you!  I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters also.  With the war, I think I may have just skimmed over that section in the beginning chapters, but it will come more to play later on in the story with the Vietnam Era.  

In my other story, Bakers Chocolate, I did bring more of the soldier aspect in. :)

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: June 08, 2009 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Aww this was so lovely and then ended so sadly... that broke my heart! It's funny because you know the outcome would be unfair, because you know inevitably he'll be alone until he meets bella, but the way you write this you can't help but root for Edward to get the girl, which means you must be doing something right! I love this down to every flower meaning...

and i'm scared now because i had it planned *spoiler alert* months ago that when emmett's finally coming around to wooing rose, he'd leave her flowers everywhere... i'm going to try to resist inadvertantly taking your "flowers have meaning" concept.. but its so tempting! 

I have trouble staying within my time period when it comes to language and kandence but you seem to have it nailed down to a T. BRAVO! I shall move onto the next chapter (i printed 2-4 and read them on the subway home)



Author's Response:

THANK YOU!  Feel free to use the flower meanings.  I don't mind at all.  Just give me a little credit. ;) 

haha, great use of the subway ride.  Normally I sit there and try to not think about all the germs around me.

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: June 08, 2009 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

i like how you cleverly ended this. No one likes writing killing scenes or fighting sequences. infact im strugglling with my next two chapters b/c i do have something coming up in that .. genre so to speak, lol. 

I fall in love with edward all over again in this chapter b/c of his modest but strong hero complex. yum! Great job!



Author's Response:

Glad you're enjoying it!  I figured even as a cold blooded killer, he still wouldn't be able to shake the courtesy drilled into him.

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: June 08, 2009 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Ok just one question... are his eyes red or gold? I just remember in your last chapter you said the blood in my eyes... so i guess i thought i was red, but then i realize he couldnt be in a library talking to humans w/ crimson irises either, lol.  I like this story! I think i love Edward whoever he falls for... its him i read these fics for, and not really bella. 

I love that you got the speakeasies and all the other roaring twenties slang in here! Coincidently i was working on my slang last night (thanks to google) for the next 3 or 4 chapters (i write bits and pieces way in advance) and its nice to see the words in the correct context. you write well as edward by the way! I'm loving it!



Author's Response:

Thanks again!  His eyes are red.  There's no way for him to disguise them at this point, but he won't let it get in his way of doing what he wants.  Normally he goes in and gets out without anyone talking with him. 

I had to google the slang too!  That's where I ended up getting the speakeasy name from.  Thanks for the compliments.  I think Edward is such a strong character that his POV is easy to write. 

I do the same thing with the bits and pieces.  I have the last two chapters of the story written, but about 30 inbetween that still need to be thought out before I can post those.

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: June 10, 2009 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Great job. I notice how short your paragraphs are (a critique I've recieved about my earlier chapters), but our writing is still powerful that it isn't lacking in any way.  You are also very descriptive about his actions and the scenery, that you paint a very beautiful picture in my mind. I love it!



Author's Response:

Thank you for all those amazing compliments!   I like shorter paragraphs myself, because I notice that I tend to skim over larger ones that have more descriptions than needed.

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: June 10, 2009 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

OH how i fall in love with edward over and over again in different fics... and for yours,, this might be the chapter that does it for me... i love that he's eveasdropping on such a tender moment she shares with her siblings! I love that he smiles with her as he sees the excitement of the brother through her eyes. God that's sexy, lol. And to top it all off, he left her some tea bags! (ok yeah, that sounds strange, but its the thought that counts). OH how i love the old fashioned simple gestures that are meant to let you know someone is thinking of you! Great job once again!



Author's Response:

Thank you!  I think that chapter really did make me love Edward too.  Even though he was in his rebellious stage, I still wanted him to be lovable.

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: June 10, 2009 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7

He is so freakin adorable... I am impartial to whether they get together at all. On the one hand you cant help but root for him that he finaly gets a chance at happiness... but on the other you know that many years later he'll meet the love of his life, so it almost doesnt matter (because you know it wont end as well). The mystery of what will happen next still lingers in the air for me, so wonderful job in keeping me interested in Edward's non-canon possible match-ups!  

Ok, im done for today... another day i'll have another few more chapters to review and hopefully I'll get caught up with this once and for all! Great job!



Author's Response:

Thank you!  I hope you enjoy the next chapter.  It's the turning point (might want some tissues).

 
Reviewer: achelle131 Signed
Date: July 07, 2009 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Very powerful writing yet again! It broke my heart the way he lost her. It just seemed so unfair. I knot grew and stuck in my throat the whole time i read it from the point that he smelled the vampire... :( Great job!



Author's Response:

Thank you!  I was wondering if people expected that to happen. 

 




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