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Penname: lee723 [ Contact]
Real name: Lee
Status: Member
Member Since: March 11, 2009
Website:
Beta-reader:
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Summary: Bella is reunited with her childhood friend Alice under unlikely circumstances. When sparks fly between Bella and Alice's older brother, will she be able to resist? And what secrets is he hiding?
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Jessica, Lauren, Renee, Rosalie, Seth
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 27 Completed: Yes
Word count: 132141
[Report This] Published: June 05, 2009 Updated: February 10, 2010
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: June 10, 2009
Title: Chapter 3: Caffeine High
LMFAO @ Short-unable to grow facial-hair Alec! Oh man you made him a kid! Lol...i actually would have liked to see a hot Alec to give our dear Eddie boy something EXTRA to stew over...since we all know how he LOVESSSS to brood and over think EVERYTHING :P
my my my he CALLED Bella????....dude hardly even calls his own family :O
Something tells me, that his inner 10 yr old is beyond ECSTATIC that he has back his precious Belly Bird :D Awwwwwwww*.
i keep picturing little Edward locked in his room all sullen after she moved away *tear* That is The SWEETEST thing EVER!...after the kiss under the pool table haha :P
Author's Response: Hahaha oh my goodness your review is so great. Edward has plenty to brood and stew about for now, although that's not to say there won't be more... Edward really needed to talk to someone outside the situation, and Bella was the perfect candidate! Glad you're enjoying it so far!
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: June 11, 2009
Title: Chapter 4: Trick or Treat
LMAO! Genius is never appreciated on its own!...A rock...Priceless!
YAY!! Progresssssss! Whoot whoot!.....Boys NIght is NOW Family NIght!!!!...the all together make a great group...6 of them...NO Lauren *ick*
BTW the prologue is still on my mind...the whole part about Bella locking herself in a room to get away from Edward and thinking that not even Edward could fix this or something....I'm dreading the upcoming angst :( Author's Response: The angst is still coming (obviously) and we won't hit the prologue for a while yet, so you can relax and enjoy the happy vibes until then. Hehehe.
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: June 20, 2009
Title: Chapter 5: Do Not Pass Go
Dear Goodness...first it was the child Alec now it is the overgrown teeny bopper Aaron *cough* excuse me..Aro...LOL
Monopoly btw is tha Shit! lol
Lauren is sooo gonna LOVEEEE Bella...hahaha
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: June 20, 2009
Title: Chapter 6: Dish It Out
no it's not cold in here..it's just lauren..The Ice queen Bitch!
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: June 26, 2009
Title: Chapter 8: Girls and Boys
WTF!!!!!!!!! :O
WTF WTF WTF! I SO friggin did NOT see that coming!! wtf wtf wtf wtf!.......Shit Shit Shit!....Obviously Edward wasn't woman enough for her with all his whining and bitching like one lol....this is such a twist i was expecting a dude WTF!
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BRAVO!!!
NEXT CHAP PLZZZZ!!! IM BEGGIN!! I NEEEEEEED to see what Edward's reaction is to THIS little Development! hahahah
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: July 02, 2009
Title: Chapter 9: Bring It On
*jumps up and Down* I've been waiting SO damn long for that break up scene!!
LOL @ if even Esme couldn't be nice to her NO one could! hahah
oh and Drunk Edward is frigging Hysterical!!!..The drunk dialing and shir was LOL funny! oh dear goodness and his very loud retelling of his hookups!..the man had NO filter or Shame! hahahaa
Look at these magical fingers....he has more talent in his left hand than she has in her entire body! after all the man is a FUCKING CLASSICALLY TRAINED PIANIST!!! take that! LMFAO!!!......ROFL I'm damn Good in bed!!! and there's ony so much a man can do in missionary!!! WTF!!! I fell outta my chair laughing so hard!
And finally.....Bella and Edward sitting in a tree :D:D:D:D.........the man is barely in any condition to climb a tree much less MY tree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That sounds like a challenge to me...one that Edward should take up ;)
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: July 24, 2009
Title: Chapter 10: Out on the Town
LOL @ Bella punching Edward for moping *giggle*
Aw and he held her hand, which i'm guessing felt like more to the two of them but they wouldn't acknowledge that to each other...yet.
How adorable was Edward when he said Bella broke his little 10 yr old heart :)
OOOH Edward got pissed at her for leaving the club with Jakey haha.
I love it when he gets territorial *smirk*
He didn't need to call her stupid though.
Yeah sure ALICE would worry *lol*
I don't think that is what Alice was thinking haha.
WTF! EW Charlie!!! EWWWWWWW!!!!
*shivers* ickyyy LMAO!
I so wanna see what happens with these 2, Bella obviously loves Edward but what is he feeling.
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: August 01, 2009
Title: Chapter 11: K.O.
OMG Im still laughing at the whole Charlie debacle...Sue just stopped by to bring us some donuts...Sure sure lmao!
LOL @ Em being afraid of Charlie and brushing it off by saying he has a gun :D
Edward is quite the confusing man isn't he?
I agree with Rose's advice to be in charge!
Cuz then she's just end up being his rebound girl and we don't want that.
Only Bella right, try to impress the guy she likes and get punched in the nose by said guy during aticjle fight *sigh*
and THANK goodness for Esme breaking the tension in the bathroom *phew*
Anxious for the next chap.
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: August 02, 2009
Title: Chapter 12: Moments
Uh Oh is right, once Alice knows everything becomes a production and things get made bigger than they really are lol.
Ooh we got a sighting of Edward in this chap again, i almost thought he would be MIA until next :D
so thank for that, you helped me with my Edward fix lol :P
Oh he gave her THE LOOK! as if he was NOW seeing her for the first time :D:D
I wonder if he had liked her since they were kids?
after all he did tell her she broke his little 10yr old heart when she moved away.
And she did crush on him back then as wel ;)
Belly bird lol n the kiss under the pool table *giggle* So sweet.
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: August 08, 2009
Title: Chapter 13: Pick ups and Spares
LOL I Loved the girl talk.
It was really funny, even their cheesy pick up lines!
Aw Em's own was too cute :)
Oh my I think Edward had a bit too much fun making Bella's mii ;)
The eyes weren't right? they were prettier? Did he even realize what he said?
OMG i loved it!
And of course his sparkly pink ball LMAO!
Did the hair move work?? I'm thinking it did, but he tried to clear his mind by grabbing for his beer that's all, so that bella wouldn't notice.
The cuddling while watching the movie was niiice :)
I def think that went past the platonic line right there.
I ust love it when he smiles at her *sigh*
I can't wait for their non-date date haha.
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: September 01, 2009
Title: Chapter 15: You'll Poke Your Eye Out
Bella's idea was TOTALLY FUN!
Also Loved the little memory from when she was 6 and made cupcakes for Edward cause she loved him and was going to marry him! haha
Aww she complimented his handlebars and the way he tied his laces????
That is so SWEEEEEET!
LOL @ Bella not being able to climb back up the hill after sledding down.
I'm confused as to what freaked Edward out :S
The man left the girl all confused and tingly, not kosher lol.
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: September 15, 2009
Title: Chapter 16: Magnetic
FANTASTIC update!!
It seems that I may have also developed a crush on Edward's bad ties LOL.
And Bella might be onto something, Just because he's good looking doesn't give him a free licence to wear ugly clothing. But it's awfully cute though, he has a sense of humour which I like :DD:D
The CD was the BEST gift EVER!
it was so sweeeeeet of him and it had to mean alot.
OMGOMGOMG They KISSED!! WOOT WOOT!!
And I LOVE how you changed it up and made Bella say she doesn't have the strength to stay away from him anymore and his SMILE *squee* AWWW.
And then HE said "Then Don't"
*happy dance*
Author's Response: :) :) :) Thank you! I'm a sucker for a sense of humor, so it's something I always try to give Edward. Glad you liked the chapter, thanks for the review!
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: September 22, 2009
Title: Chapter 17: Shiny Happy People
WOW! Loads of Fluff! No HF at all :D:D:D
Although I'm still waiting for the bit that we read in the prologue, cause it's freaking the be-jeebus outta me :S
BUT enough of that sad talk.
WOW WOW WOW! God one kiss and the man acts like a depraved pervert LMAO!!! Awwww it just means he likes kissing you and wants some alone time BELLA! lol.
Loved the "Are you gonna turn off the light?" scene! lmao
also the visual of E in a tee and boxer briefs *THUD*
I also like the way he let down her hair *le sigh* BEAUTIFUL! and kinda hot :P and yea him lying between her legs and kissing her chest...WOOT!
AND (snicker) him being a boob bandit LMAO!! LOVE IT!!!
I guess you can say I liked the entire thing?? lol
you're building me up for the big let down *pout*
Aww I forgive you cause you gave me fluff! WEEE! hahaha. Author's Response: I'm so glad you loved it--high praise! But if you know the let down is coming that means you won't be totally upset with me... right? :) Thanks for your review!
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: September 30, 2009
Title: Chapter 18: House of Cards
OK, I Knew the day was TOO perfect to be true :(
The HF killed me DED. The way E blew up at B like that *sad panda*
And AT her Workplace no less, he was so mean Alice :(
*cry*
I can deal *breathe* I can handle this *breathe* I have to cause this isn't even from the prologue yet :S
Or this adds to the pro??? Ok I can do this and Poor Bella :(
She broke down like that on the train! and her boss is being a totes asswipe thinkin that her and Seth are together!!!? WTF!
Errr I can't wait to see No more Miss Nice Bella!!
Go Girl!! Stand up to the bastards and do what you gotta do!
You brought out quite a few emotions outta me lol.
I can't wait for more BB!!!
I always Squee when I see an update for your Fic!
AND I can't wait for your new collab w/ Spanglemaker :D
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: October 08, 2009
Title: Chapter 19: Two Steps Back
I'M STILL WITH YOU BB!
And I'm not angry at you, I actually agreed with EVERYTHING that happened, I'm not gonna argue and say that Bella shouldn't have done this or said that.
Because what she did and said was justified.
As for Edward, I was kinda sad that his attempts at asking for forgiveness was received well :(
I feel so bad for him, when he slid down the outside of her door and said she's always been worth it, broke me heart :'(
And then the ice-cream! Ugh he melted my heart with chocolatey goodness *sigh*
BUT that was not the prologue scene was it?
Can't wait for more bb, and also I think Edward can be trusted! he isn't bad, he's just a bit broken at the moment.
Great Job writing this sweetie, I know it had to be hard to do :))
xoxo
Lee Author's Response: That was the prologue, just a liiiiittle different. Go back and reread/compare. The "You've always been worth it" line isn't in the prologue. I'm glad you're still onboard, and thanks (as always) for your review!
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: October 23, 2009
Title: Chapter 21: Someday (V)
PROGRESS!! I LIKE IT!!
And Finally Bella got out what she wanted to really say *sigh*
Someday...I just hope that someday is somewhat soon? :D
Wishful thinking lol....The fluff before all this angst was really nice to read cause we could see how great they were together and how happy they were.
and the upside of arguing is the making up right?
My boy has his say as well, and I do get where he was coming from, but this whole incident happened at a shitty time and they never really had a chance to talk about their relationship.
sitting here patiently waiting for the reunion :D
Loved it bb :D Author's Response: A bit of a bittersweet reflection after their fight, but still good to know, right? Thanks for your review!
Summary: Edward Cullen is a hot, bad, gangsta fella who is a new kid in the Chicago underworld. But refusing to pay his respects to the big, ruling Godfather, his arrival is not welcomed. Bella is said Godfather’s estranged daughter who fled his father’s world in an attempt at a normal life.
Both men keep clashing and bumping heads, Edward’s power grows rapidly, men are tired of the old regime, and so a sort of gangster war ensues. Bella is caught in the mayhem when she becomes a prisoner in the hands of her father’s most hated enemy and rival. With Bella as a prisioner, Edward knows her father will have no choice but to do as he is told.
But does Edward have other motives to capture Bella?
**There is rape involved in one of the later chapters. If that topic offends you, please do not read**
Thanks to the awesome Caius for my banner! I absolutely love it!
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 19 Completed: No
Word count: 56590
[Report This] Published: June 06, 2009 Updated: June 14, 2010
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: June 06, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1- Imprisonment
I like the first chap already!
can't wait for more...i like a bad edward ;) Author's Response: Hey Lee! Thanks for the review, I'm glad you are liking it so far.
Bad Edward is so very dreamy...
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: June 07, 2009
Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2- Awakenings
Again I say I LOVE a Bad ass Edward ;)
and this story is really good....although he's suppose to be this bad guy...he has her taken care of pretty well, except for the fact that his men beat her up :S
I mean he had her dog brought there to stay with her and he bonded with the dog...when i think about it he can't really be that bad or else the dog wouldn't like him. He want to stay by bella's side all the time and protect her if anyone wanted to hurt her.
I must say also i like Edward calm and cool manner and how he expects her to join him for supper every night *YAY* haha....and when he touches her *sigh* I know I know...he bad BUT what can i say as long as he doesn't Force himself on her...im all good :D Author's Response: Yes, he is all over the place, he is bad but still has the capacity to do good. But just a note on Robbie, he likes everyone, so don't trust his relationship to Edward ;)
Ok, please try not to hate me, and I don't want to give anything away, but do read the story notes on the first chapter, there is a warning about forced sex. I'd hate to loose you as a reader, but I'd hate it more if you read something that unsettled you. Read the warning and give it a thought.
Thank you for the review and I do really hope you stick with the story! :)
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: June 14, 2009
Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3- Recovery
Robbie is gullible...lol...but aren't most dogs...esp if they are treated well?
ok so...im thinkin it's Edward that forces Bella??....but ur first chap said "rape" cuz it's basically one person dominating the other...this is such a tough topic......so im lookin forward to see what you have for us in the next chap. Author's Response: Yes, dogs can be saps, and Robbie is just too damn loving and trsuting. And yes, Edward has been nothing but incredibly nice to him, so they just damn love each other now. And I don't think a dog can tell when he is being held against his will, huh?
So, the rape... it's coming on the next chapter. Like I said, it is not violent, but rape is rape is rape, know what I mean? I don't mean to discourage readers, but I don't want people getting angry at me either. Did you ever read The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand? Howard Roark forces himself on Dominique Francon (yes, that's where I got Bella's last name for this story), and I just thought it was the hottest thing ever (yes, in a sick kind of way, but they become lovers and fall in love). I never fully recovered from that scene. So, give it a try, and keep reading!
Thank you!
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: June 30, 2009
Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4- Trapped
That....was intensely visual...hmm...im kinda mixed here cause i've read some other fics with seriously intense rape scenes and ALTHOUGH...i dunno....it was LESS brutal BUTTTT still disturbing :S
I mean when he basically threatened to have his men hold her down that was horribly terrifying and ugh* degrading although what he did to her had the same effect....it's weird to see EDWARD do something like this :S......and what was he whispering to her in that other language???....
I don't get why he tried to get her off as well :S....i was thinking he'd get it over with and leave. And Bella's thoughts were all over the place...her mind hating it and yet still commenting on the fact that he FITS her so well...and it felt good.
I need to know why he did it????.... Author's Response: Wow, I'll try to answer a couple of questions without giving too much away. I know, it was disturbing, why did he do it? He has reasons, many, and in his head, it's all fair retribution for what was done to him. I'll get into Edward's past as we go along, be patient. Hopefully, you'll get to understand him better. But his actions will never be fully explained, how could I really justify what he did? People do horrible things, that's just the thing. What did he whisper? Hmmm, that you will wait several chapters to find out, but as for the language, it was Russian. You'll see. Now, he wasn't really trying to get her off, he was trying to be 'gentle' and I guess their bodies just have good chemistry together, hence, she came. I know, poor Bella, she was all over the place here, and who wouldn't, she'll mend, I promise.
Thanks for reading! I hope you are not too disturbed to continue!
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: July 04, 2009
Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5- Desire
WOW! This is such a interesting situation that Bella is in now.
compared to the first time when he did force her and YET was NOT forceful with her to now where her mind is not registering the shock and hurt and pain that everyone would feel after an encounter like that.
She seems to just WANT him it was kinda hysterical in a way, she ached for him and she desired him..huh...well that was certainly something.
Just really intriging, she reciprocated and anticipated his return for another go.
this time it was just wow lol...and he actually kissed her this time....and no words were said...purely animalistic and dare i say it Hot.
With the way Bella stared at him at Dinner to the way she admired his body, and every inch of it....nice.
i can SO see that Edward CERTAINLY has issues.
I really wanna know what they are and what his feelings are about Bella. Author's Response: Hey Lee! I know, Bella's reactions are just unprecedented. Her survival radar is kinda off, like canon Bella ;) If the situation were different, if she wasn't a prisoner of Edward's, if she had been forced by him and then went back home to never see him again, I'm sure she'd just feel hatred and pain and gult forever, but being under his constant control, may he be around or not, changes everything, changes her perspective. I'm glad you found it hot, that's what I was going for! ;)
Yep, Eddie here is very complex and very confused. Poor puppy just needs a hug ;)
Thanks for the review, hun! :)
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: July 11, 2009
Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6- Rapture
Hello Lee! lol
I don't think i have reviewed this chap as yet and if i haven't, well i deserve to be slapped! :D
Bella is all over the place again isn't she?
I must admit to that the kissing in the last chap seemed veryyy intimate, but i liked it cuz they were just so primal and caught up in the moment.
ok so she's all bored again even though Edward allowed her to ride the horses, and she seems to MISS him when he's gone. I think she's just not admitting to herself how she really feels about him. She's gotten a bit of his bio from her snooping, like he speaks 6 languages! WTF! Edward *swoon* ALWAYS the perfectionist :D
she noted that his house was furnished amazingly although, it didn't seem HIM. So the piano part was absolutely intense and he ACTUALLY talked to her like a normal person, they have some common ground with both of them losing their mothers.
The dinner scene was whoa lol, damn girl had to walk in on them LMAO! that was kinda funny, and HELL they both laughed! isn't that kinda odd especially on Bella's part? Then again she asked for it lol, staring at his lips and his body like that haha.
i'm VERY interested in finding out what happens next!!
i ALWAYS look forward to your updates :D :D :D
Btw do u have a thread for ur story?? Author's Response: Hello to you too, Lee! :P
Well, you review every chapter, so I would never slap you!
Yes, poor Bella, she doesn't know what she's feeling, she's all confused. Again. But so is Edward, so don't feel too bad for her ;) I don't think he was expecting to open to her at all, but he is, little by little. The dinner scene was so much fun to write, even when I'm always uncomfortable writting lemons. But I love laughter during sex.
I'm so happy you are enjyoing my story, I'm so flattered. And a thread? You mean like in the Forum? Not that I'm aware of, but I'm sure someone would have told me if I did!
Thanks again, Lee.
Kisses, Lee ;)
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: July 13, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1- Imprisonment
LOL! Thanks for the response BB! But you so DEF NEED a thread!!
If u want i'll start it for ya :D
Just lemme know :) Author's Response: Heeeey Lee,
Ok, would I like one? Sure. Will people go and post there? Ha ha ha...
If you do open it, let me know and I'll visit to answer whatever questions/comments people have. If no one ever shows up, I'm blaming you ;)
Thanks, you are so sweet.
xxx
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: July 13, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1- Imprisonment
OMG Ppl will SO go there to play! lol
i'll do it now and let you know.
Then you can post the link when you post your new chap! :D
Reviewer: lee723 Signed
Date: July 13, 2009
Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6- Rapture
http://www.twilighted.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=5214
Here is the Link BB!!
Time to play with GangsterWard!! hahah ;)
Remember to paste it in ur A/N next chappie so ur other followers can come and play :P
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