Twilighted :: missy denali

Roo: She gave us “Pregnant human Bella gets a half-vamp mutant torn from her womb as Edward chews through her placenta before turning into a vampire anddefeating the army.”

Marcy: That makes our story look pretty tame and believable.

Roo: All that silliness that we came up with about Bella being a mind-shield and the Volturi being afraid of her…

Marcy: Who could have forseen that that was actually TRUE?? Unbelievable…

Roo: I was going to have Jake imprint on Jane, thinking that it would be funny and outrageous.

Marcy: Little did we know that Jake would imprint on the infant half-vamp mutant torn from Bella’s womb. Jake gets paired with Edward’s kid?? That takes "outrageous" to a whole new level.

Roo: And so the puppy fell in love with the baby sea monster.

Marcy: Stupid crackbook. Sick maschoistic readers.

Roo: Raises questions about what half-werewolf/shapeshifter, quarter-human, quarter-vampire people would be like. Ew.

Marcy: One of those aliens from “The Host” must have snatched Stephenie Meyer’s body. It’s the only explanation for how bizarre Breaking Dawn was.

Roo: The staff at “Twilighted” said that if someone had submitted Breaking Dawn as a fanfic that they would have put it in the “Alternative Universe” or “Crackfic” sections.

Marcy: Probably “Crackfic.”

Roo: So anyways…there’s not really a point in continuing this story any more now is there?

Marcy: Probably not. We’ve been outcracked.

Roo: So we’re jumping ship.

Marcy: Yep.

Roo: But fret not, faithful readers!! More crack will be coming your way!

Marcy: New realms of weirdness wait in our imagination! Now that NOTHING would surprise us, we know no limits!

Roo: Angela could be a witch!

Marcy: Ben could be the invisible man!

Roo: Mike Newton could be a merman!

Marcy: The Cullens could take Nessie trick-or-treating!

Roo: Hey! That sounds like a GREAT idea for a fic!

Marcy: It will be our next project!

Both: MWA HA HA HA HA!!

Categories: Crackfic Characters: Bella
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Completed: No Word count: 16540

[Report This] Published: June 08, 2008 Updated: July 19, 2008

Reviewer: missy denali Signed

Date: December 20, 2009 Title: Chapter 6: The Best Part of the Plan

BAHAHAHA!!! This is hilarious! I love badass Bella when talking to Aro. And the when Jacob's just talking and talking while Bella's too busy demoralizing her phone to notice. The whole wolf sex thing is something I gotta get used to as a Team Edward person, but I still think this is freakin funny as hell. Great job so far.

Caged by JacksonsGirl Rated: NC-17

[Reviews - 113]

Summary:

Caged Collage by JacksonsGirl

Paige Jane Larson grew up wanting very little for herself. Her childhood was filled with many attempts at spoiling by her doting, and very wealthy, parents. None of this affected Paige. Not much did, until she discovered her true passion...Photography. This is where she came to life. She could show the world to people in just one shot. As she got older and out of school, she got into the business professionally. She enjoyed her work, but something was always missing.

Now with a new job in hand, along with some serious amount of drama, Paige heads to Australia to start her career in the Movie industry. This was the job that would lead her to find what that missing element was....love.

Follow Paige through her experiences on and off set as she makes her way back from Australia, to the set of the most anticipated movie in 2008, Twilight.

Forum Topic here: http://www.twilighted.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=35&t=3460

Categories: Other Characters: Ashley Greene, Bella, Billy, Cam Gigandet, Edward, Elizabeth Reeser, Emmett, Jackson Rathbone, Jacob, Kellan Lutz, Kristen Stewart, Nikki Reed, Other Character, Peter Facinelli, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 13 Completed: No Word count: 39031

[Report This] Published: March 16, 2009 Updated: August 27, 2010

Reviewer: missy denali Signed

Date: May 01, 2009 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Hostile Waters

woo nice! love the story JacksonsGirl. Let me guess, Monkey inspired you for this story. lol

Author's Response:
*shifty eyes*

I have no idea what you are talking about....

Reviewer: missy denali Signed

Date: May 23, 2009 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7: Reality Check

Aww what a gentleman. Kellen's not always an ass haha. I was so expecting something to happen at the end there lol.

Author's Response:
Yeah.. I heard the collective scream/gasp of everyone that reads this story..lol

:)

Reviewer: missy denali Signed
Date: July 11, 2009 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9: Keep It Steady

OMG! JG! Haha, hanging it out today? I bet he will just LOVE it! You handing it or Monkey handing it? hehe...i think shes caused enough damage today. hahaha Good luck at the convention!

Author's Response:
I handed it to a volunteer (I also volunteered this weekend) and was able to get confirmation that he not only had it, but took it on the plane in his carry on.

Reviewer: missy denali Signed
Date: July 18, 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Letting Go

OMG he took it on the PLANE? like reading material? HAHAHA! sweetness hahaha

Author's Response:
he did indeed. I hope he is enjoying the hell out of it..literally

Hide and Drink by Savage Rated: NC-17

[Reviews - 7576]

Summary:

Now Complete!

Bella’s blood was just too tempting to be ignored. In this version of Twilight, Edward takes Bella on a sadistic journey with his monstrous side. While Edward drags her around the world, barely keeping a step ahead of his frantic family, Bella battles the monster for possession of the gentler vampire inside her captor. EPOV.

Winner of the Faithful Shipper Awards for best Alternate Universe.

Winner of The Vampies, Twilight Vampfic Awards for Best Dark Vamp.

Winner of the Immortal Sin Awards for Best Darkward and Hottest Dark Vamp Fic!

Thank you Lace for the Banner!

“There was no other blood like this. Once she was gone, it would no longer be within my grasp. But if I stopped now, she would heal. Her body would make more. The blood would replenish. I could drink again. The promise of more – it was the only incentive that could have caused me to stop.”

Categories: Twilight, AU Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 35 Completed: Yes Word count: 249263

[Report This] Published: December 21, 2009 Updated: August 28, 2010

Reviewer: missy denali Signed
Date: September 14, 2011 Title: Chapter 35: Epilogue: Love and Live

I'm...done. What a ride! This was such an emotional story. I'm pretty sure I wanted to cry through some of it lol. I pretty much wanted to jump Edward through all of it but that's a usual occurance with me.

I loved this story! I'm going to miss Boobward and his Spongebob pjs, but he will always be in my heart!

Author's Response:
I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: missy denali Signed
Date: September 08, 2011 Title: Chapter 18: Desperation and Despair

Just started reading this story the other day and OH MY GOD! You have me reading this during class lmao. Once I got to the competition between Sand Bella and Fantasy Bella, I died. I knew I had to review. Although I was totally in Edward's emo corner/beach with him, I laughed so hard at delusional Edward. I was just waiting for Bella to show up and be like, "Edward....why are you hugging sand?" "Shush, Fantasy Bella, Sand Bella has more points than you so she gets to be with me tonight. Try harder and you might win tomorrow." And you know Emmett would never let him live that down.

And now I must go and continue reading my new addiction!

Oh and, neither Sand Bella or Fantasy Bella wins the fight. Fantasy Edward wins, and he's coming home with me tonight ;)

Author's Response:
Hey wait a minute! I want a piece of fantasy edward! :) Thanks a lot for reviewing!

Reviewer: missy denali Signed
Date: September 11, 2011 Title: Chapter 22: Mend and Bend

He's climbin' in yo windows, hes sexin' yo daughter up. Can't hide yo kid, or stop him, or lock yo windows, cuz he be vampin' errything out hur!

LOL

Just had to share.

Unexpected Circumstances by Savage Rated: NC-17

[Reviews - 1242]

Summary:

Isabella is a handmaid to Princess Jessica, Daughter of King Aro. When a knight from a neighboring kingdom wins his choice of bride, Sir Edward bypasses the princess and claims the handmaid instead. Isabella suddenly finds herself married to a man she does not know, and is tossed into the middle of political plots and scheming nobles. Her life is further turned upside down when she is unable to give her husband the one thing he must have.

"This is the hour of Forks' revenge. Volterra will fall to us for Aro's actions against your Queen, and no one – no one – who fights for Volterra will survive. We will not stop until every wall, every tower, every single structure in all of Volterra has been razed."

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 39 Completed: Yes Word count: 229617

[Report This] Published: December 06, 2010 Updated: December 02, 2011

Reviewer: missy denali Signed
Date: September 20, 2011 Title: Chapter 29: Chapter 29 - Finally Discover

I KNEW IT! It was the tea! Like how birth control is used to lessen menstral cramps and flow. And because it's Jane, and I never trusted her from the beginning D:< What a bitch! Edward needs to just wack Aro off right there and then.

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.