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Penname: Daylen [Contact]
Real name: Daniel
Status: Member
Member Since: March 01, 2009
Website:
Beta-reader:

Mid-30s guy with an addiction for fan fiction presently, and a slew of unfinished writing in my file cabinet and computer that I never seem to manage to complete full stories. Plots and bits and pieces, sure, but start-to-finish stories still elude me.


Aside from that I'm always over-thinking things, have a science background but love my fiction books... and I guess I'm a twi-guy being here as much as I am lately :S (I own the series and The Host as well). Also a fan of David Eddings and Clive Cussler.


Just starting an Education degree that'll eventually send me out to Middle and Secondary schools to teach math and science (mostly biology, probably).


Oh and my friends just gave me an Edward doll from the Barbie range (he sparkles! lol they didn't realise it at the time either) My Twi-diction is kind of a running joke for them, but their nice enough about it :)


 


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Reviews by Daylen
 
daybreak by SirenSongx Rated: R starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 1101]
Summary:

It's basically a retelling of Twilight, with a few twists. Edward isn't the only one who can hear thoughts. Bella can also, but like Edward there is that one exception...him. What happens when she learns their secret? And what happens when the Cullen's find out that she already knows? Written from Bellla's point of view.

daybreak

Set during early 2006.


Categories: Twilight, AU Characters: Alice, Angela, Bella, Billy, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, James, Jasper, Jessica, Laurent, Mike, Rosalie, Victoria
Challenges:
Series: The Daybreak Saga
Chapters: 25 Completed: Yes Word count: 89577
[Report This] Published: May 28, 2009 Updated: October 15, 2009


Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: June 22, 2009 Title: Chapter 5: 5: Souls

Wow Bella's really being very cleverly teasing to Edward - I "almost" feel sorry for him getting constantly pole-axed like that haha!

 

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: June 27, 2009 Title: Chapter 6: 6: Legends

gah how Bella didn't overload with all that negative thought around her!?

Hmm... wonder how the girls' night will go... and the trip to Port Angeles for that matter?

 

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: July 02, 2009 Title: Chapter 7: 7: Three

Edward left the Volvo for her?? OMG he's got it bad for Bella! lol

Of course, Port Angeles should be very interesting now, and the reunion with the Cullens after the five day absence! :)

 

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: July 06, 2009 Title: Chapter 8: 8: Killer

FINALLY! Secrets are out in the open, more or less! :)

The closing moments of the chapter were pretty darned funny too!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: July 06, 2009 Title: Chapter 9: 9: Trust

I loved Edward freaking out at Bella suggesting she return to her mother!! hehe

As for the nomads, baseball or something else... hmm... I don't see a particular problem with following the same lines, although I'm not sure how you'd handle Bella being able to "read" James & co's thoughts regarding her presence etc... I can see potential for fun playing card games or even Pictionary given there's TWO mindreaders... oh, the scene with Rosalie glaring at Bella's call in the baseball game has potential for some mind-snarkiness too lol

I don't think any of that helps, really, but that's all I can say for now :S

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: July 08, 2009 Title: Chapter 10: 10: Proof

ohhh Edward... really not such a good move - you were supposed to be loving Bella, not trying to be like Mike :S

Loved how the family found out about Bella's mind reading - I was chuckling even before she told Emmett off! :)

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: July 11, 2009 Title: Chapter 12: 12: Dream

ook... was that a dream or reality? Because I'm totally confused - in a GOOD WAY! hahahah

Can't wait for when she "wakes up"! :)

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: July 14, 2009 Title: Chapter 13: 13: Reality

poor Bella getting so confused on her dreamWards and realWards lol

and now for special places, like say, the meadow? :)

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: September 01, 2009 Title: Chapter 16: 16: Plans

lovely first date - and even without the canon storyline, it's so fatalistic of Bella to think "what could go wrong" at the end of this chapter hehe :)

I'm curious about how Edward will be able to leave at all in the next story, simply because your Bella is somewhat stronger in her opinions than the canon one, and I would struggle to see her letting Edward treat her the same way and leave her in the forest. I guess we'll see eventually how you decide to play it out :)



Author's Response:

Lol, sorry but he does leave in book 2 but no lies, no forest, no major depression (on both parts). Something else causes him to leave. Just have to wait and see right.

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: September 05, 2009 Title: Chapter 17: 17: Complications

hahahaha Bella distracting Edward was great!!!

And now for the nomads.... hmmm not sure how anxious I should be to find out what you have planned for the happy couple yet :)

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: September 07, 2009 Title: Chapter 18: 18: Prey

oh very interesting! I did like Bella's stripping threat/attempt to get Edward to stop the car hehe

 



Author's Response:

It had to be something that would work, and that did it!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: September 19, 2009 Title: Chapter 19: 19: Flight

Even amongst the drama of the planning and running, Charlie's scenes were hilarious!! :)

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: September 26, 2009 Title: Chapter 20: 20: Visions

I'm thinking it's Renee - intransit on one of Phil's trips? But I could be wrong hehe

It's the only person that we've not seen much of that springs to mind that Bella might want to avoid just now :)

This chapter, both in the original Twilight and here, felt a bit slow but then it's really just a connecting chapter between changes in scene and action - like the old soliloquies (I think that's right?) used on stage to allow for set changes :)

Oh and of course it's the "hint" at future events with the Vision and Bella's sketchy memory hehe

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: September 28, 2009 Title: Chapter 21: 21: Goodbyes

Oh I laughed so hard at Edward's arrival just in time at the airport - Bella's "I know these lips, I dream about these lips" was gold!

Sadly, I'm more than a little concerned that Bella doesn't seem to be taking any precautions given that she knows she's probably walking into a trap, AND that the Cullens are not without skills that would protect everyone... is she really that mistrusting of Esme or that Alice would've seen if Esme or Rose were hurt seriously enough to prevent them calling about Charlie's situation?

This was something that didn't really make sense in the original book either though.



Author's Response:

There is a reson for all confusion and it will be explain in the comming chapters.

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: October 10, 2009 Title: Chapter 23: 23: Voices

hmm should be interesting to see how Bella deals with Edward if you're planning a New Moon abandonment in the next part of the story.

Even with the seriousness of the events in this chapter, I still found myself chuckling at the little snippets of mental thoughts sprinkled amongst the out-loud parts hehe :)

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: October 17, 2009 Title: Chapter 25: Epilogue: Destiny

haha nice work :)

Looking forward to Full Moon. Though I'm not sure how you're going to end having Edward leave and return without using the bday or the Volturi; I guess in the latter case, we can't really have Bella's human abilities coming to their attention this soon - I doubt they would've let her leave Volterra after saving Edward if they knew she could read minds AND shield simply as a human (an extraordinary one, at that!)

 



Author's Response:

Well I've decided to keep the Volturi and I've worked out the details.

 
Force of Impact by asheltate24 Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 213]
Summary:

 Bella Swan has to leave her home, so goes to the only place she can think of where she can be accepted and live as she is; Forks. But she didn't expect to see others like herself there... with pale skin and golden eyes.

banner


Categories: Twilight, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Completed: No Word count: 8772
[Report This] Published: June 02, 2009 Updated: September 26, 2009


Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: June 22, 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

interesting beginning... looking forward to what happens next :) Carlisle's going to be in awe of Bella's control!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: July 08, 2009 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

awww I'm so eager for more now... just want to see what happens with the first day at school and the rest of the Cullens!!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: July 18, 2009 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

It's a cliffie, but also not really one, since I think more of a cliffie would've been if she happened to notice a barely-there driveway that would've lead to the house we all know is around the place somewhere hehehehe

But still, I want to see what happens for the next meeting with the Cullens, whether it's the family, Edward or maybe Alice, next?

 

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: September 26, 2009 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5 (Ninapolitan)

whew - it's a relief to see Edward and Bella starting off with talking and paying attention to each other "properly"... gives them a comfortable base to work from and come back to when the inevitable struggles occur :)

 

 
Reel Life by sandyk199 Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 386]
Summary:

Used to feeling lonely in a crowded room, international film star Edward Cullen meets a certain journalist that captures his attention.  Soon afterwards, she's gone ... or so he thinks. 

stories/3114/images/REELLIFEupload.jpg


Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Angela, Bella, Ben, Edward, Emmett, Jacob, Mike, Rosalie, Seth
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 21 Completed: No Word count: 115100
[Report This] Published: June 04, 2009 Updated: March 29, 2010


Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: March 30, 2010 Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21

Nice epilogue :)

B&E managing to keep the nuptials a secret for so long in such an over-analysed and obsessively-viewed society was damned impressive! Can just imagine there were hoards of women at home who fainted at that speech hehe

Good luck on your future (current) writing projects :)

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: November 30, 2009 Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20

so sad to see another great story winding up, but so happy to see where it's gone. Emmett not figuring out just HOW close he still was to Edward was hilarious!!

Hopefully we get Edward's "real" proposal after this??

 



Author's Response:

Yep, it's nearly the end - I have to say that I was quite sad when the story finished, which is why I moved straight on to another story line (also featuring cupcakes).  My stories are over at Fanfiction.net, and I've also started a vamp story as well which I'm having enormous fun with.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing - you're absolutely lovely!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: July 08, 2009 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

haha Angela's reaction to Edward bringing the ice cream was great! Ben either being oblivious or just natural with Edward was a nice move, and now for what happens in the evening with B&E on the couch? :)



Author's Response:

I think Angela spoke for all of us with that ice-cream delivery ... *sigh*

Thanks so much for reviewing, I'm glad you're enjoying it all so far! If you're interested in reading more, I'm up to chapter 17 over on FF.

Cheers

Sandy

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: July 12, 2009 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8

hehe no pressure there, Edward, none at all! :)

Great to see Bella connecting so well with Rose and Em!! Emmett's so funny with his confused replies to the bbq and the pie etc hehe



Author's Response:

Yeah I have to say that I have a soft spot for Emmett, he's great fun to write!  I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far, and of course, thanks for reading and reviewing!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: July 18, 2009 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9

arrghh whilst Edward's trying to be careful and only suffering the glitch of public rumour-mongering, Jacob's being the kind of guy that gives others a bad name - getting Bella drunk? seriously?

I'm already cringing at the damage that's coming up in the next few chapters :S



Author's Response:

Heh heh heh ...

Well bear in mind that Edward is used to that kind of thing and Bella doesn't have a clue.  Having said that, she's not really emotionally involved with Jacob.  Still, it all remains to be seen how they go with it all.

The next chapter will be up for you soon ... 

thanks for reading and reviewing - you're wonderful!

 




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