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Penname: Daylen [Contact]
Real name: Daniel
Status: Member
Member Since: March 01, 2009
Website:
Beta-reader:

Mid-30s guy with an addiction for fan fiction presently, and a slew of unfinished writing in my file cabinet and computer that I never seem to manage to complete full stories. Plots and bits and pieces, sure, but start-to-finish stories still elude me.


Aside from that I'm always over-thinking things, have a science background but love my fiction books... and I guess I'm a twi-guy being here as much as I am lately :S (I own the series and The Host as well). Also a fan of David Eddings and Clive Cussler.


Just starting an Education degree that'll eventually send me out to Middle and Secondary schools to teach math and science (mostly biology, probably).


Oh and my friends just gave me an Edward doll from the Barbie range (he sparkles! lol they didn't realise it at the time either) My Twi-diction is kind of a running joke for them, but their nice enough about it :)


 


[Report This]
 
 
Reviews by Daylen
 
Summary:

Edward is a teenage boy who finds his life instantly changed when his family moves to Forks, WA.  He is intensely drawn to the mysterious girl in his biology class whose mind he discovers he can read.  It doesn’t take long for him to find the truth behind her dark and painful secret but it is already too late “ his life is forever altered by his intense physical and emotional connection to the beautiful girl.   

 Innocent Heart of Darkness Banner 

My excellent banner by the talented m81170

 

My incredible new banner by BeanFlikn247.  This is her first banner!  Isn't it great?


Categories: AU Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 34 Completed: Yes Word count: 120460
[Report This] Published: September 22, 2009 Updated: December 23, 2010


Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: October 30, 2010 Title: Chapter 32: Chapter 32

Hopefully Jacob gets the wolves on-side so B&E don't have that drama to worry about. Looking forward to Edward's awakening now :)

Author's Response:

Thank you, Daylen. The next chapter is in the queue and should be posted any day! :)

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: April 14, 2010 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19

hmm I'm a little curious as to why Jacob would react to a human Edward like this... unless it's more about intimidating the human to keep him quiet about the wolves.

It's a relief that Alice is letting the secret go for now - but I think she'll be paying a lot more attention to Bella now, and end up making the connections on her own. Of course, then there's going to be a VERY long conversation about fashion over the years I think! ;)

 



Author's Response:

I'm glad that you are curious about the relationships.  Much will come clear in the next few chapters, though Bella will continue to be a little evasive.  And you're right about Alice, both she and Rosalie are shrewd and observant (though for difference reasons) and will be closely watching Bella from here on out.  Thanks so much for the review!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: December 09, 2009 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10

It's interesting to see Bella so agressively possesive hehe :) or maybe it's the more open "feeling" to it compared to other Bella's... hmm

 

 



Author's Response:

Yes, I really enjoy Bella being a little more assertive rather than self-effacing like she is in the original series.  However, we will soon see that she has weaknesses too, namely, her fascination with Edward.  Thank you so much for the review!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: February 01, 2010 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13

well the first thing would be Bella explaining where she's been maybe?

then they could always look at Edward's scrapbook? he's got to have one, right? ;)

hmm... nah, they'll probably just jump each other the moment the window's opened!



Author's Response:

I like your ideas!  You definitely are on the same train of thought as I am!  I can't wait to see how you like the next chapter! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: March 22, 2010 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17

Well Tyler still doesn't drive carefully when there's a risk of ice on the ground... I wasn't quite expecting B&E to have to deal with revealing anything this soon, so it'll be very interesting to see if Emmett's story becomes more "normal" in time to avoid the whole family plus Tyler figuring anything out.

I'm REALLY hoping that Bella hasn't completely run away... and that Edward's able to go after her and settle her down.



Author's Response:

Hopefully, I will answer all these questions in the next few chapters.  Yes, it's going to be hard at this point for Bella to maintain her secret.  I really appreciate all your comments and I'm glad that I have you wondering!  Thank you!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: November 16, 2010 Title: Chapter 33: Chapter 33

uh oh!!!!

And here I was thinking Edward would make it through without slipping up... he's still got time to stop - Esme will end up with a hell of a fright :S



Author's Response:

Perhaps Esme didn't heed Bella's warning, not quite believing that her son could be capable of being so ferocious.  We'll see next chapter.  Thank you for your review!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: April 06, 2010 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18

Hmm I'm thinking Emmett will be able to keep his mouth shut for about as long as it takes him to get drunk again... that, and/or he'll start making jokes at Edward's expense and in reference to Bella.

I was happy to see Bella come back though, and be open about her abilities in front of Emmett too, for that matter, flitting around the room.

 



Author's Response:

Bella doesn't want to leave Edward alone to explain to Emmett by himself.  Plus, she knows that there are some questions that Edward can't answer - in particular, the secret of Jacob and his pack.  She doesn't want Emmett to make his own assumptions. Thanks for your thoughts!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: April 27, 2010 Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20

wow that's got to be confusing for trying to predict things - mixing dreams with telepathy :)

Bella seems to be considering leaving the area, and Edward, to "keep him safe" but I'm really hoping that's NOT a path she's going to use.

It's going to be interesting when nomads show any threat for Forks and Edward though, since Bella has the perhaps awkward arrangement with the Pack and not an actual family/coven of vampires behind her...



Author's Response:

These are all such great questions and thoughtful comments!  I've had a few readers beg for me not to pull a "New Moon" plot in this story.  I already have much of the plot worked out and I promise that whatever Bella does is not just a mirror image of what Edward did in the book.  As you can tell so far I tend to not follow the plot too closely - I put my spin, my twist on things.  I hope you like what happens - it may surprise you!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: May 13, 2010 Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21

hmm I'm kind of hoping Bella's out working on some strategies to not kill Edward in the midst of things... and not that she's just locking herself away somewhere.

They both appear to be close to combusting if they don't figure out a "next step" otherwise hehe



Author's Response:

Hi Daylen,

You are picking up on the root of what is happening in the story.  Bella is a young and inexperienced vampire in this story and she needs to learn a few things about herself before she can proceed with her physical relationship with Edward.  Yes, you're right, this is an urgent need - neither one of these two will last much longer at this pace.

Thank you so much for the review and for sharing your comments!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: May 25, 2010 Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 22

whoa... so "maybe" Victoria is wandering around somewhere, and hopefully Bella or the wolves show up before Edward is either bitten or drained



Author's Response:

I love your ideas.  It's funny how even when I have the story all worked out in my head, readers come up with plot twists of their own that sometimes fuel even better ideas.  Thanks for reading! :)

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: June 24, 2010 Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 25

uh oh... i'm thinking Bella and the Pack are going to attract the attention of more than just the "local-ish" nomads if they keep going down the path they're on :S

And just whom has Bella found, I wonder? Hopefully someone who's really going to be a help to her and Edward, and not a "problem" hehe

oh and curious about Alice's aversion to Jacob... perhaps her semi-giftedness is already making her uncomfortable around him?

Can't wait to find out :)



Author's Response:

Such great questions Daylen!  I'm glad that I still have you guessing after all these chapters.  We are moving on to the area of the story where many questions will be answered and a lot of the mystery will be solved.  Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: July 07, 2010 Title: Chapter 26: Chapter 26

uh oh... what about Jessica though?

It was nice to have a little bit of Bella's history, though it's hard to decide how much to accept since it was coming from Jessica and Lauren...

Guess we'll find out as the new drama unfolds.

Tanya's arrival/interraction has been fun so far hehe :)



Author's Response:

We'll find out what happened to Jessica in the next chapter and how a vampire was able to get Lauren with a werewolf around. Thank you for leaving your comments and writing a review!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: July 20, 2010 Title: Chapter 27: Chapter 27

Edward's got some work to do again, finding the words to convince Bella that she didn't actually kill Charlie. Admittedly, her circumstances didn't help him, but it's not like she had much of a choice either way.

It's a relief at least that Charlie knew she'd survived somehow before he passed, even if he wasn't aware of how or why etc.

Tanya's pretty funny so far, though maybe I'm wrong for finding her antics so amusing right now?

 



Author's Response:

I really love your comments on this chapter!  You're absolutely right, Edward will have to find a way to let Bella know that she wasn't responsible for Charlie's death, that he was a victim of circumstance.

Thank you so much for reading and for reviewing!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: August 10, 2010 Title: Chapter 29: Chapter 29

oohhhh boy! I was thinking you'd get through the game to be honest, but it looks like things are about to get way beyond tense!! I wonder how the parents are going to handle the sudden change in their "reality", doesn't look like they'll have much time to adapt and go with it.

It was funny though to see Tanya and Bella both trying to be more "human" for the picnic and baseball hehe :)



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the review!  I'm glad that you liked the picnic.  I was really fun to visualize my version of the baseball game!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: August 24, 2010 Title: Chapter 30: Chapter 30

wow that was pretty intense for everyone involved - I'm wondering though if Edward really was hearing Bella in his head or if Victoria was somehow manipulating the connection... or even just pulling a vamp-mind trick on the human?

I understand that Edward's seeing himself a little cowardly at the end there, but I'm thinking most of us would curl into a ball from the pain and shock of the last what, half hour there? lol

Looking forward to how the family handles all the new information, and how Edward gets out of his bind...



Author's Response:

Hi Daylen!  Thanks for the review.  You have such good questions and interesting points.  I'm so glad that you are enjoying the story and that I have you wondering...

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: September 25, 2010 Title: Chapter 31: Chapter 31 (whynot)

Well things are really up the creek right now. Bella's only got little while to make some decisions it seems, but Jake's there & hopefully going to make some choices of his own too :)

Author's Response:

I hope that you like the way I worked this all out...I definitely put my own spin on it! :)

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: December 24, 2010 Title: Chapter 34: Chapter 34

It's been a great ride.

It's a relief that you held onto Alice and Jasper, and I can imagine that Emmett and Rosalie's progeny will have some immortal observers/protectors from time to time :)



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your review!  I am very humbled!  I have thoroughly enjoyed conceptualizing, writing and especially sharing this story.  It has been a wonderful, cathartic experience.  The best part of course has been the always interesting, often surprising back and forth exchange with readers.  It's endlessly fascinating to discover how we each experience a story in a wholly unique way.  Thank you again!  Please put me on author alert.  I am addicted to the process and have many more story ideas that I can't wait to develop and post!

 
Summary:

Bella and Edward

 It has been 20 years since Edward left Bella in the forest. After a birthday celebration, Bella finds herself lost in her memories of Edward. What would happen if he returned "after all these years?" 


Categories: New Moon Characters: Edward
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 20 Completed: Yes Word count: 34637
[Report This] Published: September 23, 2009 Updated: January 19, 2010


Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: November 20, 2009 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14

Ahh Jacob!! I wonder will three days be enough time for him to come to his senses; or for something to happen that pushes Jake to make the allowance necessary...

I did like Seth's contribution, he's always a great character :)

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: January 03, 2010 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19

Edward's in ttrrouubblllee ;)

Bella's got a whole lot more in her arsenal now than she did as a teen trying to get Edward's attention... He's all out of luck if he expects her to back off :)

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: December 15, 2009 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18

woohoo go Bella!

Bella always was the one who had trouble controlling herself... primarily around Edward hehe :)

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: November 17, 2009 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13

hahahaha "Bella wants Edward"!! Loved it!

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: November 26, 2009 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15

hustle and bustle, though it's sad that Jasper, and so many others, don't look to be showing up for the big event!

Looks like Rosalie's about the have "the talk" with Bella...

 

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: November 10, 2009 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11

so it seems Edward may have aged enough that Bella doesn't have to drink... but could anyone resist a potion that might take a few years off their face and body? hehe

 

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: November 14, 2009 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12

err yeah Edward, marriage doesn't really guarantee that you'll stick around, you've been listening to humans long enough to realise that :S

It's going to be a while until Bella is more sure in that area, the kind of time a vampire gets :)

 
Reviewer: Daylen Signed
Date: December 02, 2009 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16

awww Bella's closing line there might've reduced Edward to tears of happiness if he were able ;)

 




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