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Penname: antipyro [ Contact]
Real name: Gina
Status: Member
Member Since: February 19, 2009
Website:
Beta-reader: Yes
Female, older than I look and should know better.
Been reading fan fiction for a few years now, I'm just getting into Twilight stories and am amazed at the calibre and range of authors.
Live in Canada, just north of Toronto, yeah, I know, have many interests - reading, of course, karate, camping, gardening, sports-skiing, swimming, biking, walking, being with my boyfriend, partying,,,,etc.
I really like to give the authors the best review I can to assist them in A) feeling better about their work, B) get my name in print---not really, C) get the next chapter or story up from the author, D) It's too easy just to sit back and let others do it for you, E) I've been a beta reader.
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Summary:  Set at the End of Bella's Junior Year. Hilarity ensues when the Forks Gang is forced to endure Sex Education class with Coach Clapp.
Categories: Twilight Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Eric, Jasper, Lauren, Mike, Rosalie, Tyler
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 6 Completed: No
Word count: 20506
[Report This] Published: April 18, 2008 Updated: April 19, 2008
Reviewer: antipyro Signed 
Date: May 20, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: Bananarama
ha ha ha ha ha......*chuckling almost all the way through that chapter*
Can't you just see the different emotions coming off of Jasper?.....Imagine the faces on everyone when a particular emotion hit someone else?.....LOL ...and the teacher!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Too, too funny, I can't stop laughing.....
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: May 20, 2009
Title: Chapter 2: Emmett and the Embryo
Loved Emmett's POV - hysterical! who knew he was such a deep thinker....and funny.....?!?
You've got to feel for Rosalie and her missed child bearing human times. I'm sure there's a fic in here somewhere that let's her become a mom......anybody?
Great writing; excellent thoughts of everyone in the room.
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: May 20, 2009
Title: Chapter 3: Dr. Condom
I would have thought that Carlisle would have answered most of the 'real' questions in a mostly technical and scientific way, just to disuade the students from any rude, or otherwise thoughts. Anyways, this was much funnier, Dr. Carlisle Condom - LMFAO!!!
...how to measure the size of your penis for the right sized condom? *snicker*
Smooth move not answering any personal questions!!! Go Carlise!!!!
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: May 20, 2009
Title: Chapter 4: Sex Ed...ward
I just love Edward's POV the best! It seems the most interesting, educated, stimulating and funny than anyone else's. You authors must meet and decide how to write different characters.
Will Edward ever be in a position where he doesn't look guilty in front of Charlie???
Having the ability to mind-read would probably make me jaded too.
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: May 20, 2009
Title: Chapter 5: Charlie and the Contraceptives
Don't you just love wisened old ladies, who know what they want??? LOL I'm sure she would have swooned seeing Mike eat that banana so ravinously.
Still, I'm laughing through the whole chapter. How you do that to me.....
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: May 20, 2009
Title: Chapter 6: Bella, Baskets, and Burning
Poor Mike! Having to live with his Grandma's torment. All fun and games, I guess.
I really hope this isn't the end of this story; I've enjoyed it too much to say goodbye.
Marcy, PLEASE!!! Keep writing.
Summary: 
Thanks Roo, for the amazing banner!
And more keep coming in! Thanks to m81170 for this lovely piece of art:
Here's another amazing pic that fits in with Dark Side of the Moon perfectly -thank you to JohannaL for ID'ing the author: http://smirks-works.livejournal.com/ check out her (I assume) other manips - she's a genius!
Updated November, 2009
This story is now COMPLETE!
Dark Side of the Moon is my version of New Moon from Edward’s point of view. Witness how Edward agonized over leaving Bella, hunted for Victoria, faced the Volturi, and came to realize that with Bella was where he was meant to be.
This tormented story has been a part of my life for about a year and a half – and what a ride it’s been! Meant to be canon and in character, I hope you enjoy angsty Edward and his suffering during New Moon. As unhappy as Bella was during this time, Edward suffered so much more (I think). So be sure and crack open a fresh box of tissues before reading!
Thank you to everyone for all the reviews, especially to those of you who reviewed each and every chapter! Your support and loyalty have been the driving force to me getting this project finished – and I hope it’s lived up to all of your expectations.
Love you all,
blondieakarobin
PS. As one last thank you, I’ve posted a formatted, printable copy of Dark Side of the Moon at http://bit.ly/2vLHMi, as will also post as an electronic version suitable for viewing on a kindle or MobiReader. I’m also posting a ‘Director’s Cut’ that includes citations of all of Bella’s quotes from Twilight, research notes, and even funny comments from my betas in this version in the same directory.
blondie
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Use of the dialog from the series is just for clarity - Stephenie Meyer owns all things twilight! I'm making absolutely nothing from this work.
Categories: New Moon Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 24 Completed: Yes
Word count: 163080
[Report This] Published: May 09, 2008 Updated: February 26, 2010
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: March 19, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: Preface
The decision of the Volturi - I'm guessing the first one.
Very well written. I can only hope for the rest of the story exceeding this preface's length.
Ready to go...and catch up Author's Response: Ding ding ding! You are correct!
The preface is just a taste, and yes, the chapters are much longer! 8-)
blondie
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: March 19, 2009
Title: Chapter 2: Birthday
Marvellous insight!
Loved the 'discussion' Edward had with Emmett in the store - LOL. I can't believe Mike didn't see through Emmett's rehtoric. Author's Response: Mike was too busy trying not to pee his pants, I think... 8-)
thanks!
blondie
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: March 19, 2009
Title: Chapter 3: Party
I always wondered why Esme had little difficulty in being around Bella.
This is much more graphically portrayed than the book - Great Job!
Please, keep up the detail, it's so delicious. Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm a very visual person, so I'm glad that what I'm seeing is coming across! Thanks for all the reviews, I love hearing all your reactions!
blondie
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: March 19, 2009
Title: Chapter 4: Stitches
First call for Kleenex......
What a downward, crashing spiral of despair....*sob* It almost makes me not want to read anymore....almost..
I'm going to call you the kleenex author from now on; or maybe the hanky lady? The only hope left is that, eventually, it will get better and you'll make me smile and laugh again.
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: March 19, 2009
Title: Chapter 5: Decision
You're ripping my heart out, ya know? Kleenex ain't cheap!
Isn't it weird that a truth so real, so twisted could make sense on both sides.
I'm just lucky that the ends of your incredibly long and luxurious chapters don't end abruptly, but rather, gently ease the hurt down.
Thanks?
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: March 19, 2009
Title: Chapter 6: Separation
Only a few kleenex's that time....
This is like a very slow slide into a deep depression, with all that forboding, angst and misery just dumped on you at once. Been there, done that, don't like it, glad it's only a visit....
Excellent words and emotions; You should get an award for the best representation of Emmett...*yea, haaaw, the crowd goes crazy*
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: March 20, 2009
Title: Chapter 7: Domestic Disturbance
Blind Love? A futile attempt realized.
Wonderful writing. I'm not even going to guess how it unfolds in your story. The little things, like the CD's, the memento box of Bella's gifts and photos. I really hurt for Esme.
On to the next sad chapter - time to reload for kleenex.
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: March 21, 2009
Title: Chapter 8: The End
At least the kleenex drain is over..Geesh!..now I only hope for tears of joy!
For you to write this the way it is, leaves me stunned and in awe. I am not worthy!!!
I bow down to you, with a plate of homemade cookies in offering. Please share with your betas; they're awesome too. Author's Response: Don't put the Kleenex away yet. You'll get a few reprieves, but I think you might need them again eventually!
I'm glad you're enjoying this sad tale!
8-)
blondie
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: March 21, 2009
Title: Chapter 9: Distraction
Awwww, I feel so sorry for Edward, being so tormented. I wonder if he's delusional?
Absolutely wonderful!! Loved the car sales scene - Hahaha.
I'll be reading to catch up.... Author's Response: Edward's not quite delusional...yet. But you'll see! Everything he hears Bella say is from his memories - nothing original (unlike Bella's delusions). His subconscious mixes up the memories, though, so the the meanings are confused and twisted to the context he's in now.
Gotta love tormenting car salesman! 8-)
thanks,
blondie
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: March 21, 2009
Title: Chapter 10: Trick or Treat
Sorry, not good with recalling authors, unless it's you....I've read Spontaneous Combustion already.
I have a hard time with which parts of the Vampire are human-like, and which ones are stone. Stone's don't sweat, so why would he need a shower? (Yea, I liked the shower scene, but....) Same thing for his hair. Why wash it? I'm beginning to believe Vampires (ya, I know they're not real) are at our whim as to which parts are real and which are not. Can you give me a list of real things on your version of Edward??? Generalities are o.k., but some specifics may be needed...*snickers in deceipt*
Great writing. Did you all like the cookies? Maybe I'll be caught up enough before Easter to offer you merangues.....Yummmm. Author's Response: I've got to get caught up on my reviews!
Edward's been in the wilderness for days and days. No, he doesn't sweat, but just being out in the wild, with only one or two changes of clothes, running through the growth, he gets dirty. The wind blows dust into his hair - some will get trapped there, even without the oils and moisture of sweat. And if there's been any rain, that'll help trap dirt as well (Edward wouldn't care about getting wet - think of how your car looks after a rain). And while we may not see the miniscule amount of dirt, Edward's aware of every particle.
Even rocks get dirty out in the forest.
In SC, I'm sure Emmett would have helped Edward get dirty - just cause Emmett would be dirty (see MS - he likes to play with his food...).
As for other 'real' things? I'm not sure what else to add - I don't think that Edward's stomach growls when he's hungry, though I think he's mentioned feeling it twist inside him. He doesn't yawn - though I wonder if he would to pop his ears on a plane (hmmm, I'd guess yes, that's an issue of physics, not humanity). No sneezing that I know of, he'd probably just blow anything out of his lungs that got in there, or hold his breath at the first whiff of pollution?
I think the vamp girls have worn nail polish - though I'd have to check that. The wouldn't have to do anything else to their nails, though, and I'm sure that the girls would wash their hair (I would assume they style their hair in the conventional human way - curlers and hairspray).
As for other physical comparisons to rocks, er, stones, well, let's just say I would assume that 'hard' would apply to all of Edward's limbs from time to time...
Any other things? I love all your cookies! I'll get cracking on your other reviews! 8-)
thanks SO MUCH!
blondie
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: March 23, 2009
Title: Chapter 11: Black Friday
Thrilling! All the twists and turns, the entrapments and laying the appropriate trail....beginner 'hunter' Edward is getting a full dose! No wonder later on he says,"....I wasn't a very good hunter". What a crushing blow to his ego, if he had one...
Just keep up the nice long chapters and you won't get blacklisted from the cookie tray offerings.
Can't wait for more....Oh, look! I have more chapters to catch up on....hahahaha Author's Response: hahaha - Edward definitely has an ego - he knows what's best for Bella, right? 8-)
So glad I'm still on the cookie list - my chapters just seem to get longer and longer... 8-)
thanks!
blondie
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: March 23, 2009
Title: Chapter 12: Adeste Fidelis
You've captured the emotions of Edward so thoroughly - I feel depressed! It seems almost surreal that he thinks of her every other second, but doesn't realize it's for a purpose - one he'll never see. So sad.
When does Edward realize that Victoria didn't go to Argentina? I wonder if she 'gave' her clothing or scent to someone else - again??? Following a faint trail is risky.
Absolutely wonderful. I made some fresh merangues just for you and your betas. I have all different colours and some with coloured sprinkles. Enjoy!
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: March 23, 2009
Title: Chapter 13: Ano Nuevo
Thanks for answering my previous question..(When does Edward realize that Victoria is there)..LOL.
Still baffled that Edward's thoughts now are solely on Bella, not Victoria - What a dumb-head!!!
I will definately look up SM's Rosalie extras. Thanks for the link/address.
Thanks also for the extra long chapter full of good things, well, some good things. I hope you all haven't snarffed down all the goodies yet; next batch is still in the oven.
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: March 23, 2009
Title: Chapter 14: Dead Man Walking
Repent! Isn't that kinda' blasphemy?
Great writing, can't believe it, you're amazing; beta's doing a great job; really moving the story along; gorgeously long chapter - thanks a whole bunch!
Can't wait for more. The cookies are out of the oven, have cooled sufficiently, so here you go, oatmeal chocolate chip! Mmmmm, nice and chewy, but good.
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: April 06, 2009
Title: Chapter 15: Heaven and Hell
It's like the deeper they go into the castle, the more despair and fear builds up.
Excellent work in achieving the feeling of their descent. Author's Response: What a great description! I should have planned that way, huh! 8-) But it's true. Thanks so much!
blondie
Summary: One-shot: Jasper's point of view when Bella first visits the Cullen household. What emotions does Jasper pick up? 1000 words exactly. This is part of my "Delving" series, but is intended to be read as a seperate story. This story is a look at Edward and Bella's relationship from Jasper's point of view.
Categories: Twilight Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Jasper
Challenges: Series: A delve into the mind of...
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 980
[Report This] Published: May 21, 2008 Updated: May 21, 2008
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: December 16, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: Love
This is so precious. I love when authors give background to characters, other than what's stated in the books. Such a personal insight - astounding. Author's Response: Thank you. I love exploring what the secondary characters were thinking in moments like this. It's always so different from another perspective.
Summary: One-shot: Alice's point of view. When the Cullens leave Forks, what is Alice's opinion on the matter? How does she feel about loosing her friend- the one true connection she has ever felt with a human? 1000 words exactly. This is part of my "Delving" series, but is intended to be read as a seperate story.
Categories: New Moon Characters: Alice, Edward, Jasper
Challenges: Series: A delve into the mind of...
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 1029
[Report This] Published: May 21, 2008 Updated: May 21, 2008
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: December 16, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: A future with imperfections
Foundation: I really loved the premise of this story. Alice has a unique view into what's happening, and may happen - usually.
Eyeliner: I would think that Jasper would keep away from Edward, or maybe, he's looking out for him, not to do something irrational.
Mascara: Glad that Alice didn't look into Edward's goodbye to Bella. All three would be in agony, not just one. Edward would try and sooth him by moving away from the family.
Lipstick: Alice never lets go of the vision of Bella as one of them. It's a constant. Author's Response: May I just say that this review layout is totally unique and made me laugh out loud? 'Cause it did. :)
Sigh. I do love Alice so dearly. She's such a fascinating character - I say this about every character in the series, but it's true, especially in Alice's case. She's never quite in the present - always looking towards the future. So to write this one in the present tense was an interesting challenge.
Thanks again for all the reviews. You're a doll. x
Summary: As Bella sleeps, Edward has some time to think without interruptions. Edward's point of view on himself and Bella. One-shot missing moment from Twilight. 1000 words exactly. Part of my "Delving" series, but it is intended to be read as a seperate story.
Categories: Twilight, New Moon Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: A delve into the mind of...
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 1001
[Report This] Published: May 21, 2008 Updated: May 21, 2008
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: December 16, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: Monster
I'd say it was a little bit too fluffy, but hey, it was o.k. and well written. I know your future works are full of details and are a higher calibre, but you got to start somewhere. Author's Response: Thank you! Again - my old work sometimes makes me cringe to look back on it, but I wouldn't change it. It's nice to look back at the faults and see how much I've improved since those days. :)
Summary: Elizabeth Masen is dying in a hospital in Chicago. It is the year 1918 and her husband is already dead. She fears for the life of her son, and believes Dr. Carlisle Cullen may be the answer to her prayers.
Categories: Pre-Twilight Characters: Carlisle, Other Character
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 547
[Report This] Published: May 21, 2008 Updated: May 21, 2008
Reviewer: antipyro Signed
Date: December 16, 2009
Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
It would have been nice to actually hear her plea, at least some of it. For a first fic, it goes where most people wouldn't. I love that you keep things canon. Author's Response: Thanks again. :)
It's always embarrassing to look back at these early stories, now. It's shocking how much things have changed since then!
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