Reviewer: jenfox Signed
Date: June 05, 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Truth and the Bear

such a sweet story! i'm looking forward to seeing it all unfold...

and about Edward's intensity... it freaks us all out, sometimes! but we love him anyway!

Reviewer: jenfox Signed
Date: May 05, 2010 Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20

talk about bust out laughing... then quickly recovering to read this intense chapter... the first heading of EPOV didn't mean much. I had never really pictured Edward as the gardening type, but whatever. THEN the line:

I was in his arms before I could wipe the dirt from my hands. His mouth was on mine before I could protest that I was ruining his shirt. My hands were in his hair before I could decide whether or not to put them there.

For a second I was disturbed at the thought of Edward in Carlisle's arms, then the mouth, then the "ooh, this is ESME'S POV, schwoo!" seriously cracked me up for a minute!!!

I think the only thing I'm sad about is the treatment of Charlie in all this. Your version of ending Jake/Bella's relationship is so sucky, but so right... I almost ripped the cover off of Eclipse when she gave him part of her heart. 

I've only recently been exposed to this world of twilighted.net, and I've only read the works of one other author... windchime... I really loved it, and for many of the same reasons I'm loving yours... The result of Edward and Bella's honesty and deepening relationship is making them stronger, more confident, less self-loathing. That's what a love like their's is supposed to do, and I'm so glad y'all have done that!!!

Okay... onto the next chapter...yay!

<3 jen

Reviewer: jenfox Signed
Date: July 20, 2010 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11: Dust Sheets and Drama Queens

Still my absolute favorite Twilighted story! I LOVE how you mentioned how she wouldn't have been the same person if she'd just sat around moping... because she turned into such a strong character the way you wrote her! LOVE this Bella! Love the reunion (not sure if I commented last chapter)... They are just the sweetest now!

Edward is still an emo, drama queen, but you've made it more endearing with the humor from Bella and his siblings!

Thank you, again, for getting this story out of your head! And thanks for the LONG chapter. I look forward to the next update!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much :)   Yeah, Edward will always be a little bit emo, but he's trying to reign it in. 

 

Reviewer: jenfox Signed
Date: May 10, 2010 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14

I held all my reviews until I finished this chapter... I read all fourteen last night (with my sweet baby girl curled up next to me on the couch)

What a heart breaking story! I have only recently discovered twilighted.net, and my favorite stories have been the ones where Bella finally gains confidence in Edward's love for her and Edward gets over all the self-loathing nonsense. As much as I love this saga, I've always been screaming at them to just accept each other! You, however, have created a tragedy that actually warrants her feelings of unworthiness along with Edward's inability to forgive himself for things that are out of his control.

I am wonderfully blessed to have never had such a horrific experience. For crying out loud, I just celebrated twelve years with my college sweetheart! I did witness firsthand the horrible aftermath of a cousin's rape. After 21 years and four boys (the 15 year old was forced to watch as two monsters violated his mother, and was then tied to her while she was naked and ashamed) their marriage didn't survive... In your research for this, did you come across the statistic that only two percent of relationships survive in the wake of a rape?

Like I said, I've never had to deal with this, but reading your story to this point really seems true to the feelings of shame and inadequacy a girl would have after a rape. I truly think this story would be healing for victims, especially from the POVs of the ones who continues to love the victim.

And I totally get that you're not a Jacob hater (neither am I). I like the creative license you took to turn her closest friend into a monster, because that is exactly what happens to so many victims.

I have added the story to my favorites, and I'm going to vote for it right now, if the polls haven't closed. Cannot wait to see where you go from here. Kudos to you for dealing with this issue

Author's Response:

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. Aww, it's nice to keep your loved ones close when reading this story. It is a sensitive and sad story at times. I very much agree with your comment on Bella's confidence and Edward's self-loathing. In this story they are both going through a very difficult thing and it is going to takes lots of time for them to get through everything. But I very much wanted to show the strength of their love and how (although difficult) they can eventually get through something this horrible. 

Oh my, that is just absolutely horrible what your cousin went through! It really makes me sick to think of them going through that. I really can't believe how some people can be so evil! Unfortunately, I do write from some experience myself, and it is really shocking how often rape actually occurs. Although I was very aware that relationships very often don't survive through a rape, I was not aware of the exact statistic, and I must say that it is very shocking and very sad. I hope to offer some comfort and write how Bella and Edward's relationship is within the two percent that survive, and even come out stronger at the end of it all. 

I'm very happy to hear that you feel the feelings of the characters are realistic and that this story could be a healing to victims. That is really what I'm aiming for, even though I know it is also often a difficult read. 

I'm so glad that you understand why I used Jacob as the villain. I know it can be upsetting to some people as this Jacob is very evil. But I know that very often this horrible crime is committed by someone that is very close to the victim, making it even more difficult for them. It is shocking that this is the case, but unfortunately very true. 

I thank you so much for your vote and for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. I value it very much.

Reviewer: jenfox Signed
Date: May 17, 2010 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18: Plunging Into the Deep End

I am absolutely loving this story!!!! It is taking me back ten years to the fall semester of my junior year when I was the transfer! I'll leave better reviews soon, but I've gotta run! Looking forward to each update!!!!  

Author's Response:

Hey jenfox! I am a chapter behind in my replies, so here's my response to what you wrote about chapter 18, even though I know you already reviewed chapter 19.

Glad you are loving it. I, too, was the transfer at an earlier time in my life---I won't tell you haw many years ago that was, but I will say that I've got you beat. So much of what I'm putting into this story are experiences I actually had when I lived in the dorm as a transfer. I had  Jake that I had to break up with, even though I still loved him. I had just met an Edward that I Could. Not. Live. Without. I also roomed with an Alice, after ditching my Victoria and we built a swanky fort. So much happened within the confines of the dorm and the dining hall, and all these many years later, they are still some of the happiest, angstiest moments of my life. YUM!

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

-bannerday

Reviewer: jenfox Signed
Date: May 26, 2010 Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21: A Black Day For All

I seriously love this story! Talk about a case of giggles when I saw a new chapter was posted!!!! YAY!!!

Okay, so I've never lost a first love (we've been together for twelve years), so that was sad... I've always loved Jacob, but he's no Edward! I really like that he and Bella had a relationship because now it's not a question of whether they'd have been happy together. They had a good thing for a while, but in the end his immaturity really killed it.

There is just something very real about this story. Nothing ridiculous or improbable, and I LOVE that! I'm just jealous that we didn't have patios out our dorm windows!... And I had a pretty awesome dorm!

LOVE your Emmett, but honestly, I haven't come across an Emmett I didn't absolutely love! He is by far my favorite guy in all of these stories!  

And the way you have written Edward and Bella make them very likable! I can take emo, but not the absolute self loathing of Edward or Bella's refusal to accept love. I totally understand if she has a hard time moving on in a relationship with Edward feeling a little guilty at this point, just PLEASE don't make her refuse him! I beg of you! :) Actually, I totally trust you! Can't wait to see more!!!!

Author's Response:

(*hugs self and gigles*) I'm so excited to hear that you get excited about me updating!

This story has a partly autobiograhical basis---My first love was my Jake, and when I transferred to school I met my Edward. I loved my Jake, who was oh so far away, but the reality was that I was falling in love with my Edward---nothing physical, just hanging out, becoming friends when I didn't have any and everyone else in the dorm already knew each other, etc.

My Jake wasn't immature and there was no fight scene, but there was a very miserable weekend when I broke up with the one, even though I still really cared for him, it just wasn't the same. I called my Edward and he came to my rescue---not that anything physical happened, I just needed his pillar-of-strength-ness.

I roomed with a Bitchtoria, she moved and I moved in with my Alice. We built a swanky with the help of my Edward and a few other guys. And I was a patio sitter with my Edward.

So, the something very real about this story is that much of it WAS real---for me, at a very idyllic time of my young life.

I think you will like where this story goes---no, I know you will like where this story goes---it's where we all want to go. ;)

More soon, thanks for the review. Not sure you needed all my past history, but now you have it. ;)

-bannerday

Reviewer: jenfox Signed
Date: June 05, 2010 Title: Chapter 24: Chapter 24: A Jury of Our Peers

Fun! You were definitely right... I love how your story is unfolding! Don't even bother responding to my review... just go write some more! ;)

xo

jen

Author's Response:

Hi jen!

I did as you asked. I didn't bother to respond, I just sat back down at my computer and pecked out a new chappie! It's uploaded, just waiting on validation. Maybe tonight or tomorrow if we're lucky. It's a doozy! (But then again, I thought the last chapter was a doozy! Nope, this next one's dooz-ier. ;) ) Ohhh, I just find myself so entertaining. Hmmmm. I wonder what it's like to have real friends???

xo to you and your review,

-bannerday

Reviewer: jenfox Signed
Date: September 18, 2010 Title: Chapter 51: Chapter 51: Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

Still love your work! I started teaching Kindergarten this week, so this is my first chance to read these last three chapters. Sorry your review count was down :(

Edward walking in on Jake unbuckling... hilarious! He does have horrible timing. I'm glad Jake is moving on, too.

The creepy dead flowers tied with a black ribbon... totally knew who sent them. You have successfully made James even more super creepy than ever! ICK! I love how you're creating more personality for some of the characters. I never felt like I got enough of Emmett, and now you're really making James' character reveal more of his darkside. I guess SM's James wanted to kill Bella, so he def had a darkside... but your James is more realistic in the creepy department.

Hope you're having a great weekend!

<3

Jen

Author's Response:

Hi jen!

Thanks for the review. Glad you are still sending Storylove my way. I know RL gets in the way. I went back to teaching a few weeks ago, so I'm sure my updates will slow down a little. I'm hoping to still get one chapter a week up. We'll see how that goes.

Leave it to Jake to cause major problems with a clothing accessory. Poor Possessiveward...all that adrenaline and no one to bash. ;) He'll just have to store it up for a showdown with James...perhaps.

I like Jake--I've never hated him, he's kind of a tragic figure, you know? Destined to be Mr. Second Best. But I'm not that sad for him...how could anyone best Edward???? Oh, Jake, just go find yourself an infant to fall in love with! LOL

So yes, the creepy dead flowers tied with a black ribbon. Seemed Jamesesque to you? I think he is creepy and in a AH story you've got to find a logical way for him to be frightening. It's got to be drawn out, I think. And I think the coming and going aspect makes him that much creepier. Just when you've forgotten him, he pops back up on the radar.

I really appreciate your comments on my character building. I've always loved Emmett, but I know he's not just a doofus. So I like him to be funny, in that big-football-player-loudmouthed-big-brother sort of way, and I think that plays really well off of Edward's more reserved, quieter, tongue-in-cheek , wry humor sort of personality. But I like Emmett to have something more to offer--like when he took Edward under his wing after Edward fought with Jake. Jasper too--I felt like Stephenie didn't do enough with him. I love a slightly kookie, semi-stoner kind of kilt-wearing sexy boy.

So, now I've got to keep developing James and his creeper-ness. I'm not sure, I might even do a James' POV chapter or part of a chapter. Can't decide. I don't really like to share the POV's with characters other than B & E. I did let Alice have her say when she was spying on them at the Cullen Compound. And then there was that chapter with Everybody and His Brother's POV :) Don't know if I want to allow creepy James his say.

Let me know what you think of the next few chapters.

Thanks for the review, the kind words and the compliments.

-bannerday

Reviewer: jenfox Signed
Date: July 31, 2010 Title: Chapter 38: Chapter 38: Say It...Out Loud

SO... is that what our reviews do for you? or can we get in on some of that delish smellin' pajama boy lap time?!

okay, so it was wordy, but I completely blame it on Edward and his over-thinkage... not your fault, at all! I know I've told you a hundred times, but I LOVE how genuine this story is, and how it could SOOOO happen. well, maybe not the parents being okay with kids sharing rooms and such. my parents were definitely more of the Chief of Police kind of folks... actually, they were both retired Air Force, so, yeah... pretty much the same mindset applies to my upbringing ;) Thank goodness college was almost five hours away, and they never once just showed up to surprise me! ha!

well, good chapter, good communication. I especially love the cute text convo at the end. I swear I might not have ever come back if they hadn't ended up falling asleep together in his room. okay, that's a lie! a big fat ugly lie! I can't wait for them to wake up to a happy day! A Very Cullen Weekend Part III better be happy. I promise I'm not threatening you... I'm just looking forward to your funny Emmett and sweet Edward/Bella time. I love your writing style and how you work these relationships. I'm waiting for Alice to give Edward a hard time, because I know she sensed his broodiness!

Happy Sunday!

Love,
Jen

Author's Response:

Don't you dare try to climb on my delish smellin' pajama boy's lap!!! He's my creation and I find that I do my best thinking, writing and drooling whilst perched upon his lappy goodness.

Glad you didn't think the wordiness of chapter 38 was my fault---so toally Edward. I'm glad you find the story realistic. Except for the laxness of the sleeping arrangements in the Cullen household. But thanks to Emmett, the bar has been lowered for Alice and now Edward as well. And Esme and Carlisle are probably so happy to know that Edward is finally done with the despair portion of his young life, that'll they'll welcome Bella and any wanton tendency she and he may have.

Yeah, college did wonders for my sex life as well. It really opened my eyes. And legs. Sounds like you had the same higher educational experience that I did.

Once they communicate, they do it so cutely, don't they? Now that they've talked, it should be a VERY fun Very Cullen Weekend. Oh, and Part III, was HAPPY, if I do say so myself.

Ali Al and the Nosy Bunch will be back in a big way in the next two chapters (C-40 and 41)

Thanks for the compliments regarding my writing style and working the relationships. More of that coming. Even an Alice POV for a change.

Thanks for the review. Loved it much. ;)

-bannerday

Reviewer: jenfox Signed
Date: June 01, 2010 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7

I just stumbled on your story today, and I LOVE it! It's now marked as a favorite, and I can't wait for each update!

The story line is very well developed! And I love your take on these characters I adore so much... You're doing great, Thanks!

-jen

Author's Response:

Author's Response:

Thanks Jen, I appreciate you letting me know what you think of my story. I would love to hear what you think of my next chapter. It's been hard to write but I think I like it.

Take care and keep in touch with reviews,

Crystalz

Reviewer: jenfox Signed
Date: May 28, 2010 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9 Day 3: Part 2

I love the relationship developing between Bella and Lily! I've always said that I could deal with a tragic loss of a child, but that an abduction would absolutely kill me. I'm so glad they have each other... but still can't imagine Edward's emotional state.

Anyhow, you're doing a great job developing this story, and update time is fantastic! Thanks

- jen