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Penname: mrsgunsage [Contact]
Real name: My bitches from Drunk Chat Tuesdays call me guns
Status: Member
Member Since: May 02, 2009

I'm a part time accountant, full time wife and mommy.  My hubby and I have been blessed with a beautiful daughter and a precious infant son.

I used to write incessantly back in high school and college, even going so far as to have several poems and short stories published... but life got in the way and I fell out of the habit.  As with most talents, when you don't use it, you lose it.  I always regretted the loss of the words...

Being on maternity leave when my son was born in March of 2009, and then having my hours cut to part time left me with a LOT of time on my insomniac hands, and I started reading all of the wonderful stories here at Twilighted.

Somewhere in a sleep deprived fog I was listening to a Heidi Newfield song and had an overwhelming desire to start writing again... and my first fanfic story idea was born.  I've since started a second story, and I'm alternating back and forth on getting them written. 

I'm hoping to have the first one finished and start submitting soon, but I have to go back and do a massive rewrite on three chapters because PPD kind of took the story places it wasn't meant to go.


Twilight-wise... I am an E/B girl all the way.  I just realized that in everything I have written or am working on, if Nessie isn't part of the story then Jacob is the bad guy.  Sorry wolf=packers... no Furry love here.


**I have a curse.  I have these awesome stories, I get 20 or so chapters in and then I can't finish.  Still trying.  I know I promised to alert a few people if I ever got to the point of posting...**


**Well, I'm still trying to get over the speedbumbs in Unrequited, but my other multi-chapter needs massive reworking.  The post partum depression that initially derailed me did too much structural damage to that story and I need to basically start over on it.  I think I'll wait til after Unrequited is being posted though...  It's all just a big mash in my head.**


**I think I made a breakthrough in my multi-chap!  WooHoo, go me!  So recap... Multi-chap that is about 75% done now, another one that is languishing until I can figure out how to fix all of the damage my PPD caused it, and three one shots that I work on when I get stuck on chapters.  Good thing I only sleep three hours a night or I'd never get anything done!  GO TEAM INSOMNIACS!**


PS:  Just in case anybody wonders... I have a hard time reviewing a story before it's complete.  I can love it with a fiery passion and still not be able to reveiw it effectively.  If I'm reading a story of yours, be patient with me... you'll hear from me at some point I promise!!!!!!

[Report This]
Favorite Stories
Episode by BoydBlog Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 941]


Bella Swan is a writer that is on a trip of a lifetime. Edward Cullen is a famous actor, whose life is a blur of film-sets, hotels and screaming fans. A destined encounter and a battle of mind over matter erupt amongst sensual music and a shared longing.




Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Angela, Bella, Ben, Edward, Emmett, James, Jasper, Jessica, Laurent, Mike, Rosalie
Series: None
Chapters: 52 Completed: No Word count: 294886
[Report This] Published: January 03, 2010 Updated: September 28, 2014




Create your own banner at!




Hypothesis: Vampires are capable of vertical inheritance.




  1. Finish knocking Jasper up, for the third time. Why? Because a story is not complete without a parity for Jasper.

  2. Knock up Emmett and Rosalie too. Why? Because it’s their way of dealing with the loss of a child.

  3. Rebuild vampire society after the war, including the transition to an egg-laying society and the adoption of eggs that were orphaned by the war.

  4. Move the Cullens back into human civilization and send the kids to middle school, so that they can learn to interact with humans and blend in.

  5. Send Masen to speech therapy with the humans so that he can learn to talk.

  6. Send Jasper back in time, with the aid of his time-traveling twins, to meet his human family and resolve any lingering issues he still has from his convergence.

  7. Accuse Jasper of being sexually attracted to his grandmother and bring up this accusation as many times as possible. Why? Because it’s the new running gag.

  8. Make entire story one hundred percent biologically accurate, despite the vampires.

  9. Tell a bunch of Cullenesque stories and make it funny, because that which is funniest is best.

Nominated for multiple iSparkle Awards!

Nominated for Best Drama/Angst/Hurt/Comfort WIP and Best Supernatural/Fantasy/Horror/Spiritual Sci-Fi WIP in the Emerging Swan Awards!

I have now been nominated for Oldie but Goodie Author in the Emerging Swan Awards!

Categories: Pre-Twilight, Post-Breaking Dawn, Crackfic Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Esme, Jasper, Other Character, Rosalie
Series: None
Chapters: 64 Completed: Yes Word count: 237551
[Report This] Published: January 02, 2012 Updated: January 08, 2014


What do you do when the one you thought would love you forever up and leaves you? You move to Vegas of course!

It's 3 years after Edward left Bella. She's discovered a new life, and made new friends, but has never really gotten over Edward's abandonment.

When a chance encounter with Alice at a local Vegas night club brings the Cullens back full force into Bella's life, how will she react? Is there any hope for them to rekindle their friendships? More importantly, is there any chance that she and Edward can work through her distrust and his shame and guilt to get back their undying love, or does attention from a new love interest have Bella distracted?

Come on in to the world of Crooked Halo's and Ink Junkies, and find out!

New Banner


Categories: New Moon, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Lauren, Other Character, Renee, Rosalie, Tanya, Victoria
Series: None
Chapters: 20 Completed: No Word count: 99051
[Report This] Published: November 19, 2009 Updated: December 19, 2013

Second Chance by Louise Clark Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 98]

Months after the Volturi have left, there’s no denying Emmett and Rosalie's marriage is on the rocks. They have grown distant because of the time she spends with Nessie. Or has someone else drawn her away?

The Cullens, sans Rosie and Nessie, help the Quileutes with a fundraiser held on their lands. Emmett meets someone. After all, he is a natural flirt.

A second chance at love presents itself, but will he take it? Will she take hers?

Is it possible they never were each other’s true mate? Follow Emmett as he strives to follow his heart, it's going to be a heck of a journey!

Warning: May not be easy to read for those Emmett/Rosalie canon purists out there! This story contains a major character's death.

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Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emily, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Leah, Other Character, Paul, Renesmee, Rosalie
Series: Emmett Stories
Chapters: 24 Completed: Yes Word count: 95437
[Report This] Published: December 16, 2010 Updated: May 25, 2013


Bella Swan changed her life and ideals for a guy . . . who then dumped her in the middle of a mall. Even if she's happier now and her life is back on track, she still needs to realize that the past is the past.

Enter Edward Cullen, devastatingly handsome and hopelessly in love with Bella after knowing her for only a short time. Can he prove to Bella that she's not the type who should be loved and left? Can he help her get over her past and put her self doubts behind her?

 Rated M for later chapters.

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Series: None
Chapters: 25 Completed: Yes Word count: 84444
[Report This] Published: December 16, 2008 Updated: February 03, 2013


What if Twilight were twisted around a bit? What if Edward already had Bella? What if Carlisle was the odd-man-out?

Esme Allen is an Architecture Instructor at Forks High School. When Emmett Cullen and Rosalie Hale chronically ignore the school's PDA policy, she decides that it's time for a parent-teacher conference.

Carlisle Cullen is the father, for all intents and purposes, of six perpetual teenagers: Edward and Bella, Emmett and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper. His children have found love, but Carlisle in 350+ years is still without a mate. He has no idea what Emmett and Rosalie could possibly have done to merit a meeting with their teacher. Little does he know, fate works in weird ways.

Added side note: I will not end this story until I've created a happily ever after for them all!

Rated R for violence.

Added 10-29-15: After a horribly long hiatus, I am back to writing this story.


Categories: Twilight, AU Characters: Carlisle, Esme
Series: None
Chapters: 32 Completed: No Word count: 65203
[Report This] Published: February 01, 2010 Updated: July 30, 2012


Jane has been the Volturi's loyal servant for centuries. She is feared by vampires throughout the world for her ability to inflict unbearable pain with a thought.  Jane was only ever concerned with maintaining her position as Aro's favorite among the Guard--until she saw a human who stole her heart at first sight. David Cain is a hardened soldier who knows the horrors of war.  He copes by never looking back and never planning ahead.

Jane and David meet under extraordinary circumstances, and their souls are irrevocably intertwined.  Can two lost souls find redemption, or will their collective pasts destroy them both?

Rated NC-17 for language, graphic violence, references to torture and some sexual content.

by *Beautiful Liar*

Big thanks to *Beautiful Liar* for my awsome new banner!

Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn Characters: Alec, Alice, Aro, Bella, Carlisle, Demetri, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Felix, Jacob, Jane, Jasper, Other Character, Renesmee, Rosalie
Series: The Volturi Series
Chapters: 28 Completed: No Word count: 107454
[Report This] Published: December 29, 2009 Updated: July 28, 2012


What if Emmett, not Edward was the single vamp out? Edward and Bella met while she was human, they married, had Nessie and Bella was changed; all while Emmett remained single. No Rosalie. Now ten years after Nessie is born the Cullens move to Hanover, New Hampshire to start college and come across an exotic young beauty that captures Emmett's heart. Who is Gabrielle and why does Emmett feel so drawn to her? Can Edward and Bella help him understand these strange new feelings, and will his story have a happy ending?

Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Nessie, Other Character
Series: None
Chapters: 11 Completed: No Word count: 44552
[Report This] Published: July 15, 2010 Updated: March 14, 2012



Special thanks to pkitten21 for the awesome banner!!

Pediatric ICU night nurse Bella Swan blogs about her work experiences via "The Nightingale Journals." When Dr. Edward Cullen is named the PICU's newest Fellow, their immediate attraction to one another is undeniable. They are both trying very hard to maintain their professionalism, appreciating one another as colleagues. Despite this predicament, Edward is determined to get to know Bella; when he learns that she is writing a blog, he makes it his mission to read every entry to find out just what it is that makes nurse Swan tick. Epic banter and UST result. Will they ever be able to admit their magnetic draw to each other?

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Series: None
Chapters: 41 Completed: Yes Word count: 212767
[Report This] Published: February 09, 2010 Updated: February 19, 2012


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Hypothesis: Vampires are capable of vertical inheritance.




  1. Get Jasper knocked up at least three times in one story. Why? Because it is not nearly as funny to knock up any of the other vampires. And since female vampires are just as hard to knock up as males, might as well go all the way and choose Jasper.

  2. Knock up all the other Cullens while I am at it. Why? Because I can’t think of a good reason why Jasper would be any more knocked up than the rest of them. Maybe Emmett would be… but Emmett is not as funny.

  3. Accuse Edward of having a sexual relationship with his piano and bring up this accusation as many times as possible without Bella finding out.

  4. End in a war between the Cullens and the Volturi, because the Volturi think Carlisle is lying about vampires laying eggs. Why? Because it is the funniest reason for a war I can think of.

  5. Explain vampire genetics, using plasmids, in a way that is one hundred percent compatible with everything ever said by Stephenie Meyer about vampires.

  6. Explain how vampires can reproduce vertically without violating the “vampires cannot change” law of vampiredom.

  7. Make entire story one hundred percent biologically accurate, despite the vampires. Why? Because I’m a biologist.

  8. Tell a bunch of Cullenesque stories and make it funny, because that which is funniest is best.

Recently nominated for a hidden star award.

The award nominations keep coming: now nominated for multiple  iSparkle Awards including the You'll Quote Me Later Award for the thing with Edward and his inappropriate relationship with his piano. Please go vote now!

Also nominated for an Eclipse award for best vampire!




Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn, Crackfic Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Series: None
Chapters: 48 Completed: Yes Word count: 188366
[Report This] Published: July 30, 2010 Updated: February 18, 2012


There's a dusty old bookstore in Seattle where the proprietor keeps odd hours and knows the location of every book in his stock.  What surprises hide in its stacks?


Categories: AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Rosalie
Series: None
Chapters: 48 Completed: Yes Word count: 122523
[Report This] Published: August 13, 2010 Updated: February 01, 2012


Written for the TwiFicPics Fairytale Challenge and inspired by MidnightTrain's GORGEOUS banner, this is the story of an unlikely Cinderella and her self-proclaimed Prince Charming.


Categories: AU-Human Characters: Jasper
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 995
[Report This] Published: January 21, 2012 Updated: January 22, 2012


Bella takes a vacation to Hilton Head Island in South Carolina to meet Alice's new boyfriend, Jasper. Rosalie and Emmett come along, too, just in case Bella didn't feel like enough of a fifth wheel. With Jasper's roommate out of town, Bella has his nice big bed all to herself. Until Edward comes home in the middle of the night...

Beautiful banner by the awesome achelle131

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Emmett, Jacob, Jasper, Rosalie
Series: Always Human , SMUT - Best of the Best - Edward and Bella
Chapters: 36 Completed: Yes Word count: 163211
[Report This] Published: March 02, 2009 Updated: December 21, 2011

Sex in Seattle by Miss Cullen Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 235]

Bella Swan and Rosalie Hale are new to the surgical internship program at Northwest Hospital in Seattle. They soon learn that the past always catches up with you, that finding happiness is never easy, and that everything changes. Things rarely turn out the way you planned. 




Canon couples (eventually! Promise!), many, many lemons.


Loosely based on the series Grey's Anatomy.

Categories: AU-Human, Crossover Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Gianna, Irina, Jasper, Kate, Rosalie, Tanya, Victoria
Series: None
Chapters: 16 Completed: No Word count: 79164
[Report This] Published: February 25, 2009 Updated: December 17, 2011


A banner i made for a story.


The Volturi have been defeated and the Cullens move to Australia.

There, they discover that sometimes love isn't hard. Sometimes you don't have to go through obstacles to be with the person you love. Sometimes, love is as easy as breathing. 

This is the love story of a blind girl, Lexi, and Jacob and Renesmee's daughter, Zoe, and the surprising effects that it has on Rosalie.

Because sometimes we don't want drama.

Thanks to lexilujan for the banner!

Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn Characters: Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Embry, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Leah, Other Character, Renesmee, Rosalie, Seth
Series: None
Chapters: 12 Completed: No Word count: 44819
[Report This] Published: February 23, 2010 Updated: December 01, 2011

Love Phase by LaRosada Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 163]


Leah Clearwater has lost the love of her life and her humanity due to the existence of vampires, werewolves and the magic of imprinting. She doesn't mean to be jealous of her friends, family and immortal "acquaintances", but when everyone else is paired off she can't help feeling bitter. When she finally imprints it should be a blessing, a chance for her to finally start over and live a happy life.


But apparently Edward and Bella aren't the only star-crossed lovers in Forks...


He stared at me then. Half confused, half furious. But not as furious as I was, as I stared back into his beautiful, blazing, blood red eyes.

Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn Characters: Aro, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Embry, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jared, Jasper, Leah, Other Character, Paul, Quil, Renesmee, Rosalie, Sam, Seth
Series: Leah in Love
Chapters: 10 Completed: No Word count: 62127
[Report This] Published: November 06, 2009 Updated: November 15, 2011

I'd Lie by ravenbeauty Rated: PG-13 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 5]

Fluffy as hell Taylor Swift songfic with a little twist

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Edward
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 4059
[Report This] Published: October 23, 2011 Updated: October 28, 2011

Silver and Gold by kkalmm Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 75]

Silver and Gold by @kkalmm: Banner by @FrozenSoldier

Maria wants Jasper back and badly. When she tries to hurt him through the one he loves the consequences are huge for both vampires and werewolves. Rosalie's life is shattered and Emmett has to pick up the pieces. A mostly canon, post Breaking Dawn, epic that causes all manner of chaos amongst vampires, werewolves and the Volturi. C/Es, A/J, Em/R, Ed/B & Jacob/Leah

Banner by the truly amazing FrozenSoldier

Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn Characters: Alice, Aro, Bella, Carlisle, Demetri, Edward, Embry, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jane, Jasper, Leah, Nessie, Quil, Rosalie, Sam, Seth, Tanya
Series: None
Chapters: 14 Completed: No Word count: 54299
[Report This] Published: March 29, 2011 Updated: September 29, 2011


Could It Be Destiny

Bella Swan opens a bookstore in Port Angeles, which happens to be located right next to the music store owned by a young man named Edward Cullen. Watch as they meet and form a relationship.

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Angela, Bella, Ben, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, James, Jasper, Laurent, Other Character, Rosalie, Victoria
Series: None
Chapters: 50 Completed: Yes Word count: 167136
[Report This] Published: September 24, 2009 Updated: September 23, 2011


 The Two Sides of the Moon

This banner was created by the the amazing and ultra-talented Paula (FrozenSoldier) check her extraordinary work here:

Post BD. After the non-war, Leah finds herself fighting for a life without pain and loneliness. She starts getting along with her pack mates, and life brought her a new beginning when she's accepted in college. There, she met the man of her life, a man she started hating and that hides a secret.

Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn Characters: Leah
Series: None
Chapters: 20 Completed: No Word count: 49755
[Report This] Published: June 09, 2010 Updated: September 02, 2011

Pen Pals by wmr1601 Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 769]
Summary: Feature


Bella and Edward have been pen pals (the traditional kind, pen and paper stuff) for over a decade, but they never met for reasons even they didn’t know. After fourteen years of “courting through the postal service” and not realizing it, Bella gets engaged to Emmett, a fellow lawyer at the prestigious firm of Ateara, Call, and Uley. They move fast, and a wedding is set for a mere four months after they get engaged. Bella invites Edward to the wedding, wanting to finally meet her longtime friend, and when things go sour the night of the rehearsal dinner, Bella, in her shock, ends up in Edward’s arms. And this is all just the tip of the iceberg for these two…

Rated NC-17 for mature sexual content. Little to no bad language.

*banner by enchanted-mind*

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Series: None
Chapters: 45 Completed: Yes Word count: 239223
[Report This] Published: September 22, 2010 Updated: August 27, 2011


Remember When It Rained banner by FrozenSoldier

Sequel to When It Rains. It's been almost a year since Angela Weber came into the lives of the Cullen family. Now, with Nessie well on her way to being as normal a little girl as possible, with Angela and Jasper stepping in to be her parents, Jasper is truly learning to love again. And he couldn't be happier with his new roles.

A million and one thank you's to the uber amazing FrozenSoldier for the most amazing banner I could ever imagine!

Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn, AU Characters: Angela, Jasper, Renesmee
Series: None
Chapters: 13 Completed: Yes Word count: 44637
[Report This] Published: March 31, 2011 Updated: August 27, 2011


Bella Swan has everything... billions of dollars, her own private island, and a beautiful loving girlfriend. What happens when Edward Cullen finds his way back into her life? Can he tame her? Does he want to?

Pacific Paradise

Rated for lemons and (future) violence.
B/R, B/E, B/Jake, B/R/E, R/Em, A/J

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Jacob, Jasper, Rosalie, Tyler
Series: None
Chapters: 18 Completed: No Word count: 58975
[Report This] Published: May 25, 2009 Updated: August 24, 2011

A Kick in the Balls by mutt229 Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 205]


Bella is entering her senior year of college with her two best friends and roommates, Alice and Emmett. Her final year in college is going to be one for the recordbooks, as Bella and her crew invite two new roommates to share their house with them.


Rated M/NC-17 for adult themes and lemons. AH/OOC


Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alec, Alice, Angela, Bella, Ben, Carlisle, Charlie, Claire, Edward, Embry, Emily, Emmett, Esme, Gianna, Heidi, Jacob, James, Jasper, Jessica, Kate, Lauren, Mike, Renee, Rosalie, Sam, Tanya, Victoria
Series: None
Chapters: 23 Completed: No Word count: 147307
[Report This] Published: November 10, 2009 Updated: August 23, 2011

Summary: Feature

When Bella learns her “ability” is more than a quirk, she must work with new friends to thwart the corrupt organization looking to exploit their powers for personal gain.

All human.  Complete at Chapter 17. EPOV outtakes are being added weekly.

Empires of the Mind Banner

Empires of the Mind Blinkie

Thanks Vampire Youth for the banner and blinkie!


Empires of the Mind Banner 2

Thank you angelgirl664 for the banner!

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie
Series: None
Chapters: 26 Completed: Yes Word count: 120526
[Report This] Published: March 08, 2010 Updated: August 11, 2011


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