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Penname: tsarcasm [ Contact]
Real name: Mrs Erica Douglas
Status: Member
Member Since: March 09, 2009
Website:
Beta-reader:
[ Report This]
Summary: 
Years have passed since Edward left Bella in the forest. She's finally worked through her heartbreak but has never moved on to another man. She treats her best friend, Jake, like a beloved pair of old jeans. Jake is not happy with this situation. When he takes matters into his own hands, Bella's resulting epiphany makes her realize she needs to learn how to seduce a werewolf.
I looked across the room in shock. My beautiful Jacob was smiling down into the eyes of that witch! He was giving MY smile to somebody else. MY smile! His hand was on her arm. How dare he?


Categories: New Moon, Post-Eclipse, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Billy, Brady, Charlie, Claire, Collin, Edward, Embry, Emily, Jacob, Leah, Other Character, Quil, Sam, Seth
Challenges: Series: The Bella and Jacob Chronicles
Chapters: 16 Completed: No
Word count: 140728
[Report This] Published: November 21, 2009 Updated: June 23, 2012
Summary: 
*Banner by time_lights over at Livejournal*
When Bella goes to live with her father in Forks, things go much better than she expected. At least until a slick parking lot, a careening van, a broken arm, and her weird lab partner from biology get in the way...

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Angela, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Jessica, Mike, Renee, Rosalie
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 24 Completed: No
Word count: 112401
[Report This] Published: January 23, 2009 Updated: December 17, 2011
Summary: Bella is shocked when her sexy but standoffish lab partner, Edward, friends her on Facebook. Will her best friend, Alice, convince her to accept Edward’s friend request? Or, will she write it off as a prank of the conceited, spoiled rich kid she knows Edward to be?

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 18 Completed: Yes
Word count: 71379
[Report This] Published: August 26, 2009 Updated: April 23, 2011
Summary: 
AU/NM. Edward leaves in that heart wrenching pivotal moment; Bella returns to school and is shocked to find out that Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory are not going to let her fall into that deep, dark abyss of depression.
We never knew much about SM's version of Lauren Mallory. Turns out, Lauren had her reasons for being a bitch to Bella in Twilight - and it goes well beyond Tyler Crowley. Now the two girls have something in common, broken hearts.
With the help of Lauren and a cast of crazy teenagers, Bella successfully distracts herself from the heartache and begins to behave like a regular teenage girl. Yet, does destiny have other plans? Is Bella's life forever intertwined with the Cullens?
The story follows Lauren and Bella through their adventures and misadventures of senior year. It also checks in with Edward and our favorite vampire family, the Cullens, to see how their life after Bella is holding up. If you are expecting the typical Edward leaves Bella is sad and settles for Jake kind of story, then don't read this.
Rated NC-17 for underage drinking, drugs, sex and other acts of teenage promiscuity. Lots of lemons to come. BXE, BXJ, B X Other. Also, Lauren Mallory gets it on, a lot.

Categories: New Moon, AU Characters: Alice, Angela, Bella, Ben, Billy, Charlie, Edward, Embry, Emily, Emmett, Eric, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Jessica, Lauren, Laurent, Leah, Mike, Other Character, Quil, Rosalie, Sam, Tyler, Victoria
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 30 Completed: Yes
Word count: 134729
[Report This] Published: June 25, 2009 Updated: December 14, 2010
Summary: Set in the summer after Twilight, 2 weeks before the beginning of senior year, Bella wakes up one Saturday morning to find a sleeping, HUMAN Edward beside her.
"It was late August and we were going back to school in two weeks, so every single day had become invaluable to me. To be treasured, remembered forever, saved for a time I must leave to allow her to pick up her life as if I had never disturbed it.
But what about now? If I am truly human, that is no longer the case. I can give Bella everything she ever wants, everything she deserves. A real life, a husband... children? I have no need to leave her. I can stay and love her forever... If she’ll have me."

Thanks to angel_gidget for the awesome banner!
Categories: AU Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 28 Completed: No
Word count: 214413
[Report This] Published: February 14, 2010 Updated: November 05, 2010
Summary: Did you read the Twilight series and wonder what it would be like if SM included more...passion? Heat? Lemons of ANY kind? Ever wanted Bella and Edward to have a steamy meadow scene? Smexin' in the shiny silver Volvo? Wished that leg-hitching scene in Eclipse went where you wanted it to? You're in luck...me, too! Join me and my wonderfully pervy mind as we go through the books, sprinkling lemon drops along the way.
AU, OOC, all canon pairings. Rated for sexual situations and language.

Thank you to Readergoof for the awesome banner!
Categories: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 13 Completed: No
Word count: 41173
[Report This] Published: January 09, 2010 Updated: November 02, 2010
Summary: 
Edward, Bella and the gang are adults living in Seattle. Edward and Bella meet due to a klutzy accident in the restaurant where she works. Bella's ovaries love Edward and they voice their opinions quite often. There's an instant attraction between them, but Bella notices there's something that's troubling Edward.
Lovely banner made by famouslyso...because she rocks.
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 40 Completed: Yes
Word count: 240878
[Report This] Published: March 16, 2009 Updated: October 03, 2010
Summary: 
What happens between Rob and Kristen after winning the Best Kiss 2010?
Categories: Other Characters: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Word count: 1663
[Report This] Published: August 20, 2010 Updated: September 15, 2010
Summary:
Now Complete!
Just two weeks before her best friend's wedding Bella gets dumped by boyfriend James when she refuses to give him what he wants. The next night she discovers he's made a bet with gorgeous pal Edward Cullen that he can't bed her. She brilliantly decides to string Edward along for a few weeks...and subsequently land herself a hot date for the wedding. Things soon get very interesting...
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: Always Human
Chapters: 34 Completed: Yes
Word count: 166948
[Report This] Published: December 08, 2009 Updated: September 13, 2010
Summary:  You know those fics where Edward doesn't come back and Bella forgets about him and five seconds later she's in bed with Jacob and none of it makes any damn sense? Yeah, this isn't one of them.
This story picks up from the moment in New Moon when Jacob has driven Bella home after the cliff diving incident, right before he catches the scent of Alice. Only in this telling, Alice wasn't looking, so there's no sudden appearance at Bella's house, no Rosalie calling Edward and sending him on a suicidal mission to Volterra, and no reason for Bella to do anything but believe that Edward didn't love her anymore. This is simply a story of what might have happened if everyone stayed mostly in character and Edward's return was delayed. Yes, delayed. Because we all know that he was "this close" to coming back on his own anyhow. So what would have happened if Bella had tried to move on with her life? Would she have found happiness with Jacob? And would Edward be too late?
* First in a series of stories
~I thought of Jacob’s warm arms wrapped around me, his infectious laughter, and his ability to keep me from falling to pieces again… The pain choking my heart relaxed and I could breathe.~

~“More than anything,” I whispered, not caring what I'd just agreed to. When it came to Bella, it didn't matter what the question was. I just wanted.~
Winner of:
Best Author, Most Romantic, Favorite Jacob, Most Suspenseful, & Best WIP in the Wolfpack Awards | Best Non-Canon Pairing (Incomplete) and Best WIP in the Moonlight Awards | Best During the Series in the Razzle Dazzle Awards | The Storyteller Award in the Shimmer Awards | Best JacobxBella in the Silent Tear Awards
Categories: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, AU Characters: Bella, Jacob
Challenges: Series: A Blazing Sun
Chapters: 76 Completed: No
Word count: 164405
[Report This] Published: December 07, 2008 Updated: September 11, 2010
Summary: He loved her so much, even then, that he'd tried his hardest to hold them together. Tried to talk, and when that hadn't worked, he'd tried to keep his mouth shut. To patiently bear her rebuttals and her undeserved scorn, to put up with her insults and her barely-veiled jibes, poking at his manhood, his family, his former and present life - poking holes into the fabric of his very existence until he was brought to his knees under its weight.
He'd tried. But in the end, it hadn't mattered.
She'd left anyway.
Banner credit goes to addicttwilight2 - words cannot express how uniquely fabulous she is!

Categories: Breaking Dawn, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Jacob
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 19 Completed: No
Word count: 55326
[Report This] Published: July 01, 2009 Updated: July 25, 2010
Summary: 
*Banner by time_lights over at Livejournal*
After receiving an invitation to write the biography of the severely reclusive author Ethan Church, Bella develops a reluctant obsession with his novels and by extension him. When she accepts his offer, the old, dying man she's presented with and the young, too perfect man she comes across on the nearly empty estate have her convinced she's missing some very important parts of the story.

Categories: AU Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 13 Completed: Yes
Word count: 36732
[Report This] Published: May 26, 2009 Updated: May 13, 2010
Summary: 
Edward Cullen and Bella Swan have been married for three years and are on their way to Seattle, Washington to commence Alice Cullen and Jasper Whitlock's upcoming wedding. It is going to be a momentous occasion filled with family togetherness and heartwarming love.
The only problem is that Edward and Bella have been separated for three months, can’t stand each other, and—oh yeah—their family has no idea.
Categories: AU-Human Characters: None
Challenges: Series: Always Human
Chapters: 25 Completed: Yes
Word count: 162323
[Report This] Published: September 11, 2009 Updated: May 09, 2010
Summary: 
Four weeks before her wedding to Edward, Bella is frustrated. She knows there's little-to-no chance of getting him to bend his rules and boundaries now, but there's no harm in fantasizing about what could happen later. So she begins compiling a list of things that she and Edward can do together once they're happily married. She's surprised to find she might be able to cross some things off earlier than she thought...
Story contains mature themes and is not intended for younger readers.
Thanks to Mandi, aka m81170, for the great banner!
Categories: Post-Eclipse Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 28 Completed: Yes
Word count: 187877
[Report This] Published: December 28, 2008 Updated: March 18, 2010
Summary: 
Bella is trapped in a loveless marriage with Edward Cullen - a man she hardly knows. When his father dies, Edward uproots them from their life in New York City and moves into his father's now-empty house in the heart of Colorado. Amidst the desolate, beautiful landscape Bella begins to realize that perhaps there is more to her cold, apathetic husband than she thought.
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 15 Completed: No
Word count: 41782
[Report This] Published: October 16, 2009 Updated: January 31, 2010
Summary: Edward isn't able to stop Jasper at Bella's birthday party-but he doesn't get enough. He wants more, and he'll do anything to get it.
Categories: New Moon Characters: Bella, Jasper
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 11 Completed: No
Word count: 28486
[Report This] Published: September 27, 2009 Updated: January 22, 2010
Summary: Bella travels to Alaska to vacation in the cabin Alice loaned her. What happens when Bella finds out she is not the only person staying in the cabin?
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Jacob, Jasper
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 29 Completed: Yes
Word count: 88293
[Report This] Published: November 28, 2008 Updated: January 01, 2010
Summary: 
When Charlie is diagnosed with cancer, Bella decides to move to Forks to help him through his treatment and recovery. What happens when the resentful son of the new cancer doctor meets up with the reason he was dragged to this small town? AH. E/B.
Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Renee
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 35 Completed: Yes
Word count: 99780
[Report This] Published: March 20, 2009 Updated: December 27, 2009
Summary: Breaking Edward is my first attempt at an AH story. Edward has severe OCD. He has now been dubbed by my readers on fanfiction.net as OCDward. His world and obsessions are completely turned upside-down when he meets his sister's friend, Bella, for the first time. It harbors around the difficulties of both of them struggling with coming to terms with what they are feeling while dealing with his hang-ups.

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 16 Completed: No
Word count: 46069
[Report This] Published: June 27, 2009 Updated: December 20, 2009
[Report This] Published: June 16, 2009 Updated: October 31, 2009
Summary: It only took death for him to realize how much he loved her.
For anyone who ever wondered "what-if" for Leah and Jacob. "What-if" Jacob had never broken away? "What-if" he hadn't imprinted? "What-if" life was completely different? NC-17 for extremely crude language.

-Thanks to JaneJoke for the banner. I had to play around forever to get this up!
Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn, AU Characters: Jacob, Leah
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 49 Completed: Yes
Word count: 206365
[Report This] Published: May 08, 2009 Updated: August 30, 2009
Summary: 
Bella challenges Edward's limits of self control by insisting that he build up his tolerance level to intimacy.
Set in the 6 week 'blank period' at the end of Eclipse / beginning of Breaking Dawn, between the battle, and the wedding. Bella and Edward expand and deepen their physical relationship in preparation for their impending marriage.
Categories: Eclipse Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 19 Completed: Yes
Word count: 70976
[Report This] Published: November 26, 2008 Updated: August 16, 2009
Summary: To Bella sex would be nice, but there are plenty of other 'pleasurable' options. Post Eclipse, and follows the canon. NC17 for sexual themes.
Categories: Post-Eclipse Characters: None
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 2137
[Report This] Published: July 10, 2009 Updated: July 25, 2009
Summary: After her father dies, Bella Swan is thrown back into the arms of the family she believed she never really left. Sometimes the worst events become the best opportunties for change. AU-Human, BxE. Rated for language.
Nominated, Winter 2010 Eddies: Mid-Length Fiction. A million and a half thank yous!
Banner by nastey. Thank you!

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 12 Completed: Yes
Word count: 40066
[Report This] Published: January 27, 2009 Updated: May 27, 2009
Summary: This story begins after the conclusion of Eclipse. Newly engaged, Bella and Edward explore the physical and romantic boundaries of their relationship. Together they will embark on a new level of intimacy neither of them has experienced before.
Categories: Post-Eclipse, Breaking Dawn Characters: Bella, Edward
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 9 Completed: No
Word count: 24340
[Report This] Published: January 11, 2009 Updated: March 07, 2009
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All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.
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