Jasper POV

I couldn’t put it off much longer.

Bella was here, in our house, to give us a say in her mortality. Not so she could live forever, not so the Volturi wouldn’t get her. She did it to protect us.

And it was kinda killing me. It was killing me, because I had very nearly killed her. My (and Emmett’s and even Rosalie’s) sister, Edward’s love (to put it mildly), my Alice’s best friend, and Carlisle and Esme’s newest daughter, had so nearly been killed at my hands. If I were her, I would hate me. If I were Bella Swan, I would have given everyone else a vote and left me, Jasper Hale, out. But did she do it? No, she didn’t. And, making my guilt spike even higher, she was surprised when I voted to have her in the family. That kind of hurt.

So now, I had to apologize, and I had to do it quickly because she was almost out the door.

“Bella,” I called, quietly enough so I didn’t startle her, loudly enough for her to hear. “Can I talk to you, please? Alone?” She turned and looked at me, her face puzzled, nothing but interest and a little surprise going through her system. But she didn’t move any more than that. “Er… now?” I clarified, unsure if she’d understood me or not.

“Yeah, sure,” Bella shook her head slightly, trying to clear it. I smiled encouragingly, and she grinned back. “Lead the way.” Edward shot me a reproachful look, and then glanced at Alice. From the slight calming of his emotions, I assumed that she’d informed him that I wouldn’t kill, or even injure, Bella. I sent a quick wave of gratitude in her direction, and then I walked up the stairs into Carlisle’s study. I heard Bella following, could sense that she still wasn’t nervous or hesitant. What was wrong with her?

I stood in front of Carlisle’s desk, facing the door, and waited the second or two for Bella to walk through it. I steeled myself for the fear she was likely to feel, being alone with me; I readied myself for opening up (at least a little) about how I was feeling, something I didn’t often do.

“Do you mind if I shut the door? It feels more private,” Bella asked quietly once she came in, as if she could sense that I was feeling somewhat exposed. I smiled slightly and nodded.

“Yes, go ahead,” I answered her question out loud, trying to see if she feared me at all. She didn’t, and I was half-astonished, half-relieved. So she closed the tall, antique-wood door, and then turned so we were facing each other. We stood there for a moment, with me sending some reassurance towards her to keep any awkwardness at bay. We stayed silent for a few seconds, and then—

“I’m sorry!” I blurted out, a little louder than intended. ‘Ripping off a Band-Aid,’ as the saying goes. Bella opened her mouth to speak, but I held up a hand. I had to keep going or I wouldn’t be able to get out everything I had to say. “Bella, I am so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t have better control on your birthday. I’m sorry I’ve largely ignored you the entire time I’ve known you. I’m sorry that you had to go to Italy and put yourself in danger to save my brother.” I took a deep, only partially necessary breath to steady myself. “Bella,” I continued, slower now, “I felt your surprise when you got my vote tonight, and I understand why you felt that way. I’ve never really spoken to you, not in a conversation. I guess there’s really no excuse for that, since telephones have been invented,” I paused and smiled slightly at the small wave of amusement that Bella felt. Easily pleased sort of girl, I guess, since that joke was pretty lame. “But I do love you, Bella, you’re my sister. You’re my own baby sister, and I’m sorry if I didn’t make that very clear. Bella, I am so sorry.” I finished my speech, looked down for a moment, and worked very hard to put another smile on my face. “Now, you wanted to say something?”

Bella POV

“Now, you wanted to say something?” Jasper asked, smiling at me with an almost-convincing, manufactured smile. It was so strange, to have him speaking to me, and even stranger having him smiling at me. We’d had mini-conversations before, but nothing deeper than a puddle. Now we were out in the middle of the Pacific. I chuckled quietly at the thought, picturing a large whale trying to swim around a puddle. Jasper raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing,” I said quickly, not wanting to explain the goofy mental image. “And, yeah, I do want to say something.” I took a breath, held it in for a moment, and then exhaled. “Jasper, you don’t have to apologize, because I never blamed you for anything.” He looked like he wanted to speak, but shook his head very slightly and gave me a little smile, encouraging me to continue. “You couldn’t help what happened at my birthday party.” We both winced just slightly at the thought of that afternoon. “And I recognize that, and I understand. Jasper, it’s your nature to want to kill me.” I stopped when I saw the faint look of repulsion on his face. “Jasper, what—?” I began, but he cut me off.

“Sorry again, Bella, I don’t mean to interrupt. But how can you not be afraid? And I can feel it -- you’re not scared. You are in a room with a creature who tried to kill you and you’re not scared.” His voice was rising, but he didn’t seem to notice. “Bella, you almost died. I almost broke your bones and sucked you dry and it doesn’t scare you to be around me?” Jasper’s voice was skeptical, and I got the feeling that he was waiting for an answer.

“No. No, Jasper, it doesn’t scare me, because you’re a brother to me and I trust you.” My eyes widened slightly at his expression. Although they had very few physical similarities, Jasper looked very much like an angry Edward at that moment.

“It doesn’t scare you? Bella. You don’t understand.” Jasper took in a very deep breath and closed his eyes. Then he crossed the room and grabbed my shoulder, and I gasped in shock. His hand gripped tighter, almost painful now. Tighter—it hurt. Then, suddenly, Jasper let go and was across the room, behind Carlisle’s desk, looking at the ground. He looked up, stared me straight in the eye, and I saw his face crumple slightly, as if his hard shell was cracking. “And I wasn’t even trying,” he said quietly. I crossed the room, too, so I was right next to him.

“Jasper,” I whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder, trying to allow the trust and empathy and sisterly love I was feeling to fill me up so he could feel it too. “I was afraid,” I said, even more quietly. Jasper looked at me again, then looked away. “Just for one second, I was afraid of you. But then, I remembered that the creature trying to attack me wasn’t you,” I paused when Jasper made a noise like he was going to comment, and continued when he thought better of it. “It was what you are, but not you as a person. Do you understand what I’m saying?” I asked him, and I looked into his face, seeing amazement.

Then, for the first time, he opened his arms and I hugged him. He held me close for a second, then stepped back, a very reassuring sort of smile on his face. A huge wave of gratitude, love, and relief overtook me, and I knew he was showing me what he felt. At that moment, we heard a quiet growl from downstairs. I would’ve known that sound anywhere.

“I think Edward’s getting antsy right about now,” I said, giggling none too quietly.

“Yeah, he probably is. He didn’t appreciate the shoulder thing,” Jasper half-smiled at me as we made our way back down the stairs. “Sorry about that, by the way,” he added, but I just waved my hand, signaling for him to not worry about it.

“It’s okay, Jasper. I get it.” I walked straight into Edward’s waiting arms and looked up just in time to see the irritated look he threw at Jasper. I smacked him lightly on the arm. “Be nice!” I hissed. Jasper chuckled quietly.

“Bye, everyone!” I called out, hearing a chorus of “byes” and “goodbyes” from most of the family, and a “See ya later, alligator!” from Emmett. I smiled and shook my head. “Bye, Jasper,” I said quietly, turning to him. He extended his hand, and, grinning at this formal sign of a truce, I shook hands with him.

“Thanks,” he said, smiling. It was real this time, which made me smile in turn. “Really, Bella, thank you.”

“For what?” I asked, as Edward gently pulled me towards the door.

“Forgiving me.”