September 16, 2006
It was Saturday and I was sitting at the desk in Edward’s (and my) room, staring down at a blank sheet of paper, while Edward was helping his brothers to load the truck that would bring parts of the furniture to the new houses. It was good that he was hanging out with them, even though Emmett and Jasper were now so much stronger than him. However, since we had returned, I had noticed that they were treating him as if nothing had changed between them. They were still brothers.
Edward and I had been back from our honeymoon for a few days now. The three weeks on Isle Esme had been like heaven on earth, truly our paradise, but unfortunately the weeks had passed too quickly and before we had known it, it had been time to return home – to our dear cloudy and rainy Forks.
But it had been good to see everyone again – I had to admit, even though I hadn’t thought much of them while we had been lost in our own little world, I had missed my family. Thanks to Alice, they knew of course, what Edward and I had discussed about our future, and so the last few days had been pretty busy making arrangements for everyone.
The rest of the family would come with us to Hanover, as our siblings would attend Dartmouth along with us. Esme and Carlisle had bought two houses, which were lying pretty close to each other and also close to campus, but still far enough away from other humans to arouse suspicion. I admired Esme for always finding those spots. While the bigger house was meant for the immortals in our family, the smaller house was for Edward, me and Dawn – and I guessed Jake sometime in the not so far future.
Though saying that the house was small was a bit of an understatement. Esme had shown us the blueprints and photographs of this house and it was easily big enough to house all of the Cullens. But it was beautiful, two floors, warm red bricks and even a fireplace, and I had immediately fallen in love with it. I couldn’t wait to see it in front of me with my own eyes.
Just two days ago, after we had been to London for the final arrangements, Dawn had come back to Forks with us and we had spent a couple of hours deciding who would get which room and what to do with the others. It had been a fun night, to say the last, and in the end we had agreed that Dawn would get her own living space, meaning a living room, a bedroom, bath and even a small kitchenette on the first floor, while Edward and I would take over the whole second floor. But seeing as Dawn’s abilities in the kitchen were bordering of being dangerous, I had offered her a standing invitation for dinner. I really didn’t care for our house burning down within a couple of weeks, or maybe even days.
However, before we had talked about our new house, I had a long conversation with Giles, while Dawn had shown Edward around the Watcher’s Council, about what my training and work as the Slayer entailed. It was all very fascinating and it was already itching in my fingers to start the training for real. After all, the training for the confrontation with the Volturi had only been more of a crash course to get me ready for a battle. Now that I was about to start patrolling, there were so many more things to do and to learn.
And it was because one of the things that Giles had told me that I was now sitting here, brooding with a pen in my hand. One of the changes that had been made by the new Watcher’s Council was that the Slayers could decide what should happen, if they were so badly wounded that there was no hope of survival. They asked each Slayer to write something like a will, which would be opened in case of something like this happening. Or maybe, a better word would be ‘instructions’. Giles had named as example that Slayers might not wish to be kept alive by machines, while some parents wouldn’t want to give up. In that case, it was the wish of the Slayer that counted. If a Slayer had written in the instructions to switch off the machines that kept her alive, the Council would do so.
Basically, deep in my heart, I knew what I wanted to write. But the other question was, would it be wise to do this? What would it destroy? Could I do this to Edward? To Charlie? What would the other Cullens say, if they found out? I’m sure that Alice would see it the moment I wrote it down. Would she stop me, or encourage it?
Eventually, after having pondered the pro and cons for a long time, I put my pen to the paper and began to write. My instructions would be simple, just three sentences, but I hoped that it would never come to this.
As soon as I was done, I folded the sheet of paper and put it into an envelope.
Step one was done. I had done it, I had written it down. But even when the words were written down, they were worthless if not all parties involved were willing to play their part. Giles had already hinted that nothing would stand in the way from the side of the Council – he had even emphasized that it was the will of the Slayer that counted, nothing else.
This meant that I only needed the approval of one more person.
After having taken a deep breath, I rose from my chair, the envelope clutched tightly in my hands, and left Edward’s room. I could feel the person I was looking for in his study, but when I stopped in front of the door, I felt that I was scared. Of what? I didn’t really know. By my hands were sweaty and my heart was beating hard and fast against my chest.
I didn’t doubt for a moment that he already knew that I was there – my body was betraying me yet again – but I was happy that he was giving me the time I needed to gather my courage.
Knowing that I shouldn’t postpone this any longer, I gently knocked on the door and stepped inside, when I heard the faint and gentle “Come in” on the other side.
Carlisle was sitting at his desk, medical journals lying in front of him. He was smiling at me, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. Some of my nervousness vanished – this was Carlisle, after all. He would never judge or condemn me.
“Bella, what can I do for you?” He closed the journal and turned his full attention towards me.
I hesitantly stepped forward and sat down in the chair across from him. “I… have a request…” I said eventually, slowly, and then launched into the explanation. “When I talked to Giles two days ago, he told me that the Watcher’s Council encourages the Slayers to write a… a will, or for the lack of a better word, instructions that will tell the Council what to do, when a Slayer is heavily wounded.”
“I see,” Carlisle said thoughtfully. He was still looking at me calmly, waiting for me to continue.
With a burst of sudden bravery, I pushed the envelope across the desk towards my father-in-law. “This is what I have written. I’d like to hear your thoughts about it.”
Chewing on my lower lip, I watched as Carlisle opened the envelope, unfolded the letter inside and quickly read the instructions. After he had folded the sheet of paper again and put it back into the envelope, he returned it to me. Then, he asked with a serious expression on his face, “Bella, are you aware what you are asking of me? Are you aware of the consequences this will have on your future? On Edward?”
I nodded firmly, having thought about this long and hard since Giles had told me about this. “I do… But Carlisle… it might never come to that. This is just a precaution. But… if something happened to me, if I’m so badly wounded that nothing can save me anymore, I’d like you to fulfill my request. Will you do it?”
Carlisle regarded me for an eternity, before he finally nodded as well. “I give you my word, Bella. If there’s nothing else I can do for you anymore, I will fulfill your request.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, I got up from the chair and smiled. “Thank you, Carlisle.”
He only returned my smile and I left his study with a lighter heart.