Oceans of Doubt
Chapter 1
Touch
I was a pale face in a sea of suntanned strangers. A glow stick among twirling batons. And the only name people knew me by at this massive, daunting school in L.A. was Snow White. I'd returned to my dark hair and ghostly skin after my botched attempt at bleaching my locks and colouring my body.
Hearing that nickname was as pleasant as an ice bath in the dead of winter, and I had no doubt as to whom they'd heard it from. Rosalie, my sister who'd tanned up like a day old apple core during our first week here. My almost albino appearance made me feel like a freak around these people. Sure, there were some pale emo kids, but it seemed they wanted to be noticed, making a resentful stand against... colors.
"Excuse me." I squeezed past a couple of them, all fit out in tight, black clothes with dark make-up liner smudged under their eyes.
Not letting my "snow-white" skin make me stand out, I'd abandoned my high ponytails and tank tops in favor of leaving my long hair down, and covering my arms and legs in jeans and long sleeve T's. Colorful ones.
I ambled through the crowded, brightly lit cafeteria that bustled with commotion and a thousand conversations, toward the table I had lunch at every day. My neighbor Bree, who was also a senior, was already there, like always. Her eyes were wide as she searched the room for me, wearing her uniform of baggy, ripped up jeans and an oversized polo shirt that bulked up her solid frame. Sure, she looked like a pit bull, but she was all poodle inside. When she spotted me she waved me over with a flailing arm. Her expression was anxious, like there was a blue moon tonight and she thought I might sit somewhere else.
"Bella, over here!"
Oh boy.
Giving her a smile as I reached the table, I lowered myself into the chair across from her.
"Oh, my goodness, you're so late. I felt like such a loser sitting by myself." She shook her head-a nervous habit-to flip her short-cropped, dull, black hair away from her eyes.
"Sorry." I patted her hand before pulling my salad from my backpack. "Mr. Steiner held me back, asking how I was doing with the English assignment."
"Ugh. That's the second . . . He should do that in class time, not during our time. Do you need any help with the assignment? I can help if you need it, you know. I can come over this afternoon and study if you want. You can even play your Pride and Pogo DVD if you want."
"Pride and... Ha!" I burst out laughing.
She chuckled. "What?"
"It's..." I glanced up only to lock eyes with Mr. Popular himself: Edward across the room. His stupid, defined jaw was slightly agape, and he was frowning as if he thought I was making a fool of myself. I quirked a brow at him as if to say "what are you looking at?" He blinked, glancing away from me.
It bugged me that, even though Edward and I were lab partners, and our parents were great friends, he barely even acknowledged my existence. Okay, so it more than bugged me; it hurt. Especially since he didn't overlook Rosalie.
I wasn't L.A. enough.
Continuing to eat my garden salad, I internally rolled my eyes, looking at him from across the cafeteria. He thought he was so hot with his good looks, crowd of friends and swooning bimbos. His sun-streaked, butterscotch hair was its typical chaotic mess, and some chunks fell forward into his eyes. He ran his fingers through the strands, holding them back for a moment before returning his hand to the table.
The locks he'd tried to tame, slowly stuck up in the air as they eventually curled down again. In the school bathrooms, I'd overheard girls whispering about how they'd like to run their hands through and hang on to his hair while he screwed them.
They'd said that he had a typical "surfer's" physique with the way he held himself so tall, square and proud. He was proud.
"Earth to Bella." Bree waved her hand in front of me, and my face grew hot for being caught.
"Err... I can't see the clock with those people standing in the way. Have you got the time?"
Right after lunch, I had Biology. I sat at my regular lab table, waiting for Edward to show at the last minute with his boisterous friends.
They entered the room, laughing and shoving each other playfully. Edward took his seat next to me, dragging his stool out, but he didn't see me-he never did.
"Yeah, man," one of the guys from the desk behind me said. "Maria will be there this weekend. You're in."
I didn't know of any Maria, and I didn't know if he was talking to Edward or one of the other four guys who surrounded me, two at the table behind and another two in front.
Edward chuckled, so I guessed that meant that he was the one who was "in."
"I'm not gonna be here, remember?" His Australian accent was just another thing I'd heard girls swooning over.
"Oh, yeah. That's a shame, dude. The one girl you deem good enough, and when she finally breaks up with her boyfriend, you have to go away," Riley said from in front. He was the shorter, dark-haired fool next to Jasper, the tall blond with nice teeth. "Can't you get out of it?"
"I'm not gonna give up two weeks of private waves for some piece of ass. I can get chicks in Mexico." Jeez, Edward was eloquent.
One of the guys behind laughed. "Shit, so that's it. You've got a thing for Spanish chicas, don't yah?"
Knowing he liked Spanish girls was further proof of his distaste for me. God, how I wanted to be home where I was accepted and liked... Well, where I could be accepted and liked again. Three months away had made my friend's interest in me dwindle so much that only Angela kept in touch.
"I hope you can all make it for New Years," Edward said, ignoring his friend's remark. "Keep beggin' your olds to let you go. It'll be sick having yous camp on the beach near the house." I felt weird that the house he was talking about was one I'd be staying at with him.
His parents and mine had remained in touch since meeting in college. This year, his father had invited my family to spend the Christmas and New Year's holiday with them at their five-bedroom vacation home in Mexico. I'd protested to Mom and Dad, stating that it wouldn't feel like Christmas if it wasn't just our family, the real reason being that there was no way I wanted to spend that much time around Edward.
So, Dad had organized a "Swan family vote." I lost.
By the end of the week, Edward and I would be spending several very personal days in each other's company.
He and his friends talked such drivel, I had no idea what they meant most of the time.
"The surf this morning was sweet, huh?" a guy behind me said, making the other four agree.
"Yeah, it was going off." Edward swung back on his stool like an ape. "It was heaps good. Did you guys get any barrels? I got one, but it-"
"Yeah, I got two," another guy said, cutting Edward off. "One was a freaky left-handed tube. But it was sweet out there all right. I knew that storm off the gulf would make it big, but how glassy was it?"
"Yeah, I know!" Riley agreed from the desk in front of mine. "Not choppy at all. And near perfect sets. You see Mike? He totally thinks he calves it up. I mean, it was so smooth out there, I dunno how he-"
"You know he snapped the nose off his board?" a voice behind me butted in.
"No fuckin' way!" Edward said, and I rolled my eyes at his choice of word. Dad had always told Rose and me that you knew a gentleman because he minded his tongue when he was in the company of girls.
Edward was no gentleman.
"That's, like, the second time, isn't it?"
"Nah. Third, I think." Jasper's voice sounded quieter than the others.
"Fuuuck, that's some expensive shit." Another gentleman, that one behind me.
"Serves the fucka right," Edward said, and I bugged my eyes at my page, wishing they'd shut up. "He dropped in on me twice, man. He's lucky I missed him that second time or my fins woulda sliced right through him, the idiot."
"Well, no need to worry about it being too crowded soon, Eddie," Jasper said. "Not with a private beach all to yourself in a couple of days."
Edward chuckled. "I know, I know. I'm a lucky bastard. But I'm willing to share. You've all gotta come, hey?"
"Don't fuckin' taunt us, dude," Riley said with a laugh.
"Huh! Two years ago, there was this winter storm that..." Edward trailed off as our teacher came into the room late, interrupting their charming conversation.
"Alright class, settle down!" Mr. Banner said, trying to sound tough but failing. He had a shocking 1980s bowl hair cut and a huge gap in his front teeth, so it was near impossible to take him seriously. He was carrying a large box and placed a microscope and a small pack of slides on each of our desks from it, explaining the work we were to do.
"Get started, people."
Edward looked into the microscope first before he pushed it aside, toward me for my go. But he confused me by holding his other hand out in my direction, palm up.
"What?" I whispered.
"Pen," was all he said, his eyes on my open notebook in front of me. Oh, so we were doing this again. I was hoping he'd not be lazy this lesson and get his own damn pen.
I sighed, passing it over, a part of me relishing the idea that he was going to touch it. Did I mention that that part of me was really freaking annoying? As Edward took a hold of it, his fingers swiped mine for a brief second.
My insides danced.
I pushed the microscope toward him after my turn, and he rearranged slides while, with his other hand, he held my pen out for me to take. Just as my hand was under it so he'd just have to drop, and I'd catch, he had to go and press it into my palm, his warm touch creating more than mere butterflies.
My pelvic muscles contracted.
We needed to stop sharing the same pen or I was going to end up regretting it. There was no way I wanted to think about him while I was getting some loving from my showerhead tonight. I picked up my schoolbag and pulled out my pencil case. As I looked through it for which color I wanted to write with, Jasper, from in front of me, noticed what I was doing when he'd been looking around aimlessly.
"Oh! Hey, Snow White. Can I borrow a pen?"
I felt just like Anne, from Anne of Green Gables, when Gilbert had called her "carrots" in class, so she smashed her slate over his head. I could not hit Jasper over the head.
These days I'd be sued.
"Sure," I said, and he seemed happy with that, showing me his perfect, white teeth. "If you can tell me my actual name."
I watched his eyes cloud over for a moment as he thought. "Uhhh. You mean it's not Snow White?" He grinned, now very pleased with himself, and Edward chuckled from beside me.
Edward laughed at me.
Pursing my lips, I pretended to write in my notebook again, shielding my embarrassed, burning hot face with my hair.
Edward could have told Jasper my name. He was his friend, and he was the one who knew me as Bella. Yet he'd sat there silently, not introducing or helping me at all. No, even worse: he'd laughed.
How I despised Edward Cullen.
How I missed home.
I swear, if I'd ever come across a pair of sparkling, ruby slippers . . .
College wasn't too far away. Just a little while longer.
On Thursday, because the winter weather was so much milder than I was used to and the school had been heating each room like there was a blizzard outside, I wore my favorite short denim skirt for the first time since we'd moved. Although I liked not being too hot, I felt very self-conscious about exposing my lily white stems.
Sexy as they'd been in little old Forks.
But the thing was, nobody seemed to stare at them as if they were disgusting. I started to get the hint that maybe I'd been overreacting a tad when it came to the Snow White thing.
Just a tad.
Sitting next to Edward for another biology lesson, Mr. Banner wheeled a TV on a trolley into the classroom. He closed the door and yelled for the rowdy students to calm down. "Alright, alright. Come on, people. Get comfortable, because we'll be watching a documentary on onion root tip cells today since so many of you had trouble on Monday."
Groans of protest sounded, but I was pleased for the DVD, even though Edward and I had gotten all our phases of mitosis correct. It meant he couldn't accidentally touch me.
However, he wasn't aware of anyone but himself, so he sat way too close to me. I could actually feel his body warmth on one side of my body, and my attention was inadvertently drawn to him yet again.
The lights in the room turned out by Mr. Banner to eliminate any glare off the TV. Being in the semi-dark with Edward so close, my breathing became deeper than necessary at the excitement.
What did my body think would happen? That, just because the freaking lights were, out he'd lower me to the floor and kiss me like the heroes in my trashy novels? That he'd palm my breasts while he kissed me long, slow, deep?
Ugh! The school had to stop overheating these classrooms. Though, my nipples thought otherwise.
Twenty minutes into one of the most boring documentaries ever made, Edward dropped his pen. "Fuck," he whispered, and I wished he'd stop speaking so crass around me.
He hopped off his stool and got down on his hands and knees, searching for his precious pen. He couldn't just wait until the DVD was over? He was like a five-year-old hopped up on Fruit Loops and Jelly Beans.
As he searched for it, his forearm brushed the skin of my bare ankle. God! Why had I worn a skirt today of all days? I wouldn't have felt him through thick denim, and I wouldn't have been at war within myself for wanting him to do it again.
I couldn't believe it when Edward crawled in front of me. The one time in class he didn't need a pen, and he couldn't be without one. His head was level with my . . . panties. My imagination went into overdrive, fantasizing about what could happen if I parted my legs right then. He'd look up and, in the dim glow of the TV, get a good view. He'd kiss the inside of my knee, looking between my thighs toward his goal. Just thinking about it while Edward was so freaking close to my girl bits had them super excited. I was getting all tingly down there, and I breathed like the room was low on oxygen. He continued to pat the floor at my feet, still searching for his dumb pen until he was off to my side slightly.
"Mr. Cullen!" the teacher said, spotting him. "Take your seat."
"I dropped my pen," his voice came from under my desk.
"Get it later."
"Found it," Edward said, like everyone actually cared. He leaned forward, and his warm breath wafted over my lower leg, he was so close.
I gasped at his proximity and blinked at the ceiling, desperate for him to get off the floor, desperate for him not to. I felt his breath get hotter as he got closer, and I tensed as my eyes bulged, concentrating on what the hell he was doing. I nearly leaped from my seat when his stubbled cheek slowly swiped along the outer side of my calf muscle. I froze, a thrill shooting through my entire body at the contact, my heart tap-dancing in boots against my ribs.
"Got it!" Edward said as if the class had been waiting for an update. He was so narcissistic. Crawling backwards on the floor before standing, he grunted like an old man as he sat on his stool.
God, he got on my nerves.
As soon as the DVD stopped and the lights came on, Edward stretched with his hands over his head and groaned like a lion waking up after an all day nap. Neanderthal. Why the hell had I let him affect me the way he did all the time?
Edward Cullen was not boyfriend material.
Biting a fingernail, I wondered how close his room would be to mine for the next two weeks. Would I hear him snoring?
Oh boy.
I was delirious. I had low blood sugar after all that touching. I just needed to visit the vending machine for a Snickers early today.
Things change quickly here on out. ;-)
Oceans 1
Touch
For the last three months, I'd been a pale face in a sea of tanned strangers. A glow stick among twirling batons. And the only name people knew me by at this massive, daunting school in LA was Snow White.
Hearing that nickname was as pleasant as an ice bath in the dead of winter, and I had no doubt as to whom they'd heard it from. Rosalie—who'd tanned up like a day old apple core during our first week here. My almost albino appearance made me feel like a freak around these people. Sure, there were some pale emo kids, but it seemed they wanted to be noticed, making a resentful stand against… colors.
"Excuse me." I squeezed past a couple of them, all fit out in tight, black clothes with dark make-up liner smudged under their eyes.
Not letting my "snow-white" skin make me stand out, I'd abandoned my high ponytails in favor of leaving my long hair down, and I covered my arms and legs in jeans and long sleeve T's. Colorful ones.
I ambled through the crowded, brightly lit cafeteria that bustled with commotion and a thousand conversations, toward the table I had lunch at every day. My neighbor Bree, who was also a senior, was already there, like always. Her eyes were wide as she searched the room for me, wearing her uniform of baggy, ripped up jeans and an oversized polo shirt that bulked up her solid frame. Sure, she looked like a pit bull, but she was all poodle inside. When she spotted me she waved me over with a flailing arm. Her expression was anxious, like there was a blue moon tonight and she thought I might sit somewhere else.
"Bella, over here!"
Oh boy.
Giving her a quick, tight smile as I reached the table, I lowered myself into the chair across from her.
"Oh, my goodness, you're so late. I felt like such a loser sitting by myself." She shook her head—a nervous habit—to flip her short-cropped, dull, black hair away from her eyes. I didn't understand the big deal as she'd eaten on her own long before I'd come along.
"Sorry." I pulled my lunch container from my bag. "Mr. Steiner held me back, asking how I was doing with the English assignment."
"Ugh. That's the second . . . He should do that in class time, not during our time. Do you need any help with the assignment? I can help if you need it, you know. I can come over this afternoon and study if you want."
"No, no, no need. I'm doing well with it." With all that time to study at home without Drama I'd aced every class. I unclipped the lid off my salad and poured dressing over the bite sized pieces and torn lettuce.
"Oh." Her shoulders slumped as she stared at her pizza slice, playing with it by poking her plastic fork into it. "Well... just call across the street if you change your mind. I'll probably be washing my car out on the driveway, anyway."
"Sure." Spearing my fork through pieces of lettuce, tomato and cucumber, I shoveled the mouthful past my lips. Mom's new vegetable garden was much appreciated with tomatoes like this.
"I said hello to Rosalie before, but she ignored me." Bree sulked to her pizza. "I'm so glad you're nothing like her. You don't even look like her."
"Mm." I stabbed more salad. "Weird, huh?"
Whatever the problems with my sister, I wasn't about to blurt her secret that Dad wasn't her biological father.
"I don't know how you put up with her," Bree said. "She's so rude."
"I know. Just ignore her in return."
I really didn't blame Rose for not wanting to encourage Bree. Particularly if she'd seen how clingy she'd become with me. If Bree had attended Forks High, she'd just have been someone I said hi to in the halls. At least with her here I knew I always had someone saving a seat in the cafeteria for me like I had had at home. Just thinking about my friends made me long to be with them.
"I just have to tell Angela something." I pulled out my cell phone. Bree knew Ange was my best friend.
I texted a quick "I miss you – I'm in hell" message, and she replied back right away. We conversed back and forth, her regular little sayings making me forget my surroundings and smile. Before long, we were texting a conversation in quotes from Jane Austen novels, and I couldn't help but giggle at my screen.
With a big grin, I glanced up only to lock eyes with Mr. Popular himself: Edward across the room. His stupid, defined jaw was slightly agape, and he was frowning as if he thought I was making a fool of myself. I quirked a brow at him as if to say "what are you looking at?" He blinked, glancing away from me, and I texted Angela to tell her. She was supportive by saying how great she thought I was doing for such a huge school and not to let Edward or anyone else intimidate me.
Easy for her to say.
It bugged me that, even though Edward and I were lab partners, and our parents were great friends, he barely even acknowledged my existence. Okay, so it more than bugged me; it hurt. Especially since he didn't overlook Rosalie.
I wasn't LA enough.
Continuing to eat my garden salad, I internally rolled my eyes, looking at him from across the cafeteria. He thought he was so hot with his good looks, crowd of friends and swooning bimbos. His sun-streaked, gold and light auburn hair was its typical chaotic mess, and some chunks fell forward into his eyes. He ran his fingers through the strands, holding them back for a moment before returning his hand to the table.
As Bree prattled on about who knew what, I watched the locks Edward had tried to tame, slowly sticking up in the air as they eventually curled down again. In the school bathrooms, I'd overheard girls whispering about how they'd like to run their hands through and hang on to his hair while he screwed them.
They'd said that he had a typical "surfer's" physique with the way he held himself so square and proud. He was proud.
Rose and her gaggle of new girlfriends, all of them tanned and blonde and trying to act sexy in their tight, little clothes, swaggered up to Edward and his group of fit, surfer friends as they bantered loudly at their regular table. It was so freaking obvious that Rosalie loved knowing Edward through our parents; it gave her a connection to a supposedly hot guy two years older. I was sure it had helped her get those fickle little friends of hers.
God, they were all so shallow. Rosalie fit right in. She'd even taken up surfing, the week after we arrived here, to assimilate and be accepted.
I could have assimilated and been accepted if I'd been in the Drama club. Their lunch table was near Edward's, but they didn't act like they'd escaped from a zoo. Sure, my grades might have been down if I hadn't agreed to Dad's plan of no Drama, but perhaps I'd be sitting with them now.
The first month in this school, I'd pretended not to know where classes were to talk to them. They'd been friendly, explaining, but, even after I'd made a couple of jokes and compliments, they'd smiled, said goodbye, and forgotten about me. I guessed that's the thing with huge schools: everyone already has their established cliques, they already have enough friends.
Right after lunch, I had Biology, so found myself at my regular lab table, waiting for Edward to show at the last minute with his boisterous friends.
As they entered the room, laughing and shoving each other playfully. Edward took his seat next to me, dragging his stool out, but he didn't see me—he never did.
"Yeah, man," one of the guys from the desk behind me said. "Maria will be there this weekend. You're in."
I didn't know of any Maria, and I didn't know if he was talking to Edward or one of the other four guys who surrounded me, two at the table behind and another two in front.
Edward chuckled, so I guessed that meant that he was the one who was "in."
"I'm not gonna be here, remember?" His Australian accent was just another thing I'd heard girls swooning over.
"Oh, yeah. That's a shame, dude. The one girl you deem good enough, and when she finally breaks up with her boyfriend, you have to go away," Riley said from in front. He was the shorter, dark-haired fool next to Jasper, the tall blond with nice teeth. "Can't you get out of it?"
"I'm not gonna give up two weeks of private waves for some piece of ass. I can get chicks in Mexico." Edward was so eloquent.
One of the guys behind laughed. "Shit, so that's it. You've got a thing for Spanish chicas, don't yah?"
Now knowing he liked Spanish girls was further proof of his distaste for me. God, how I wanted to be home where I was accepted and liked. Three months away felt like a lifetime already.
"I hope you can all make it for New Years," Edward said, ignoring his friend's remark. "Keep beggin' your olds to let you go. It'll be sick having yous camp on the beach near the house." I felt weird that the house he was talking about was one I'd be staying at with him.
His parents and mine had remained in touch since meeting in college. This year, his father had invited my family to spend the Christmas and New Year's holiday with them at their five-bedroom vacation home in Mexico. I'd protested to Mom and Dad, stating that it wouldn't feel like Christmas if it wasn't just our family, the real reason being that there was no way I wanted to spend that much time around Edward.
So, Dad had organized a "Swan family vote." I lost.
By the end of the week, Edward and I would be spending several very personal days in each other's company.
Edward and his friends talked such drivel; I had no idea what they meant most of the time.
"The surf this morning was great, huh?" a guy behind me said, making the other four agree.
"Yeah, it was going off." Edward swung back on his stool like an ape. "It was heaps good, hey? Did you guys get any barrels? I got one, but it—"
"Yeah, I got two," another guy said, cutting Edward off. "One was a freaky left-handed tube. But it was sweet out there alright. I knew that storm off the gulf would make it big, but how glassy was it?"
"Yeah, I know!" Riley agreed from the desk in front of mine. "Not choppy at all. And near perfect sets. You see Mike, though? He totally thinks he calves it up. I mean, it was so smooth out there, I dunno how he—"
"You know he snapped the nose off his board?" a voice behind me butted in.
"No fuckin' way!" Edward said, and I rolled my eyes at his choice of word. Dad had always told Rose and me that you knew a gentleman because he minded his tongue when he was in the company of girls.
Edward was no gentleman.
"That's, like, the second time, isn't it?"
"Nah. Third, I think." Jasper's voice sounded quieter than the others.
"Fuuuck, that's some expensive shit." Another gentleman, that one behind me.
"Serves the fucka right," Edward said, and I bugged my eyes at my page, wishing they'd shut up. "He dropped in on me twice, man. He's lucky I missed him that second time or my fins woulda sliced right through him, the idiot."
"Well, no need to worry about it being too crowded soon, Eddie," Jasper said. "Not with a private beach all to yourself in a couple of days."
Edward chuckled. "I know, I know. I'm a lucky bastard. But I'm willing to share. You've all gotta come, hey?"
"Don't fuckin' taunt us, dude," Riley said with a laugh.
"Huh! Two years ago, there was this winter storm that…" Edward trailed off as our teacher came into the room late, interrupting their charming conversation.
"Alright class, settle down!" Mr. Banner said, trying to sound tough but failing. He had a shocking 1980s bowl hair cut and a huge gap in his front teeth, so it was near impossible to take him seriously. He was carrying a large box and placed a microscope and a small pack of slides on each of our desks from it, explaining the work we were to do.
"Get started, people."
Edward looked into the microscope first before he pushed it aside, toward me for my go. But he confused me by holding his other hand out in my direction, palm up.
"What?" I whispered.
"Pen," was all he said, his eyes on my open notebook in front of me. Oh, so we were doing this again. I was hoping he'd not be lazy this lesson and get his own damn pen.
I sighed, passing it over, a part of me relishing the idea that he was going to touch it. Did I mention that that part of me was really freaking annoying? As Edward took a hold of it, his fingers swiped mine for a brief second.
My insides danced.
I pushed the microscope toward him after my turn, and he rearranged slides while, with his other hand, he held my pen out for me to take. Just as my hand was under it so he'd just have to drop, and I'd catch, he had to go and press it into my palm, his warm touch creating more than mere butterflies.
My pelvic muscles contracted.
We needed to stop sharing the same pen or I was going to end up regretting it. There was no way I wanted to think about him while I was getting some loving from my showerhead tonight. I picked up my schoolbag and pulled out my pencil case. As I looked through it for which color I wanted to write with, Jasper, from in front of me, noticed what I was doing when he'd been looking around aimlessly.
"Oh! Hey, Snow White. Can I borrow a pen?"
I felt just like Anne, from Anne of Green Gables, when Gilbert had called her "carrots" in class, so she smashed her slate over his head. I could not hit Jasper over the head.
These days I'd be sued.
"Sure," I said, and he seemed happy with that, showing me his perfect, white teeth. "If you can tell me my actual name."
I watched his eyes cloud over for a moment as he thought. "Uhhh. You mean it's not Snow White?" He grinned, now very pleased with himself, and Edward chuckled from beside me.
Edward laughed at me.
Pursing my lips, I pretended to write in my notebook again, shielding my embarrassed, burning hot face with my hair.
Edward could have told Jasper my name. He was his friend, and he was the one who knew me as Bella. Yet he'd sat there silently, not introducing or helping me at all. No, even worse: he'd laughed.
How I despised Edward Cullen.
How I missed home.
I swear, if I'd ever come across a pair of sparkling, ruby slippers . . .
College wasn't too far away. Just a little while longer.
On Thursday, because the winter weather was so much milder than I was used to and the school had been heating each room like there was a blizzard outside, I wore my favorite short denim skirt for the first time since we'd moved. Although I liked not being too hot, I felt very self-conscious about exposing my lily white stems.
Sexy as they'd been in little old Forks.
But the thing was, nobody seemed to stare at them as if they were disgusting. I started to get the hint that maybe I'd been overreacting a tad when it came to the Snow White thing.
Just a tad.
Sitting next to Edward for another biology lesson, Mr. Banner wheeled a TV on a trolley into the classroom. He closed the door and yelled for the rowdy students to calm down. "Alright, alright. Come on, people. Get comfortable, because we'll be watching a documentary on onion root tip cells today since so many of you had trouble on Monday."
Groans of protest sounded, but I was pleased for the DVD, even though Edward and I had gotten all our phases of mitosis correct. It meant he couldn't accidentally touch me.
However, he wasn't aware of anyone but himself, so he sat way too close to me. I could actually feel his body warmth on one side of my body, and my attention was inadvertently drawn to him yet again.
The lights in the room turned out by Mr. Banner to eliminate any glare off the TV. Being in the semi-dark with Edward so close, my breathing became deeper than necessary at the excitement.
What did my body think would happen? That, just because the freaking lights were, out he'd lower me to the floor and kiss me like the heroes in my trashy novels? That he'd palm my breasts while he kissed me long, slow, deep?
Ugh! The school had to stop overheating these classrooms. Though, my nipples thought otherwise.
Twenty minutes into one of the most boring documentaries ever made, Edward dropped his pen. "Fuck," he whispered, and I wished he'd stop speaking so crass around me.
He hopped off his stool and got down on his hands and knees, searching for his precious pen. He couldn't just wait until the DVD was over? He was like a five-year-old hopped up on Fruit Loops and Jelly Beans.
As he searched for it, his forearm brushed the skin of my bare ankle. God! Why had I worn a skirt today of all days? I wouldn't have felt him through thick denim, and I wouldn't have been at war within myself for wanting him to do it again.
I couldn't believe it when Edward crawled in front of me. The one time in class he didn't need a pen, and he couldn't be without one. His head was level with my . . . panties. My imagination went into overdrive, fantasizing about what could happen if I parted my legs right then. He'd look up and, in the dim glow of the TV, get a good view. He'd kiss the inside of my knee, looking between my thighs toward his goal. Just thinking about it while Edward was so freaking close to my girl bits had them super excited. I was getting all tingly down there, and I breathed like the room was low on oxygen. He continued to pat the floor at my feet, still searching for his dumb pen until he was off to my side slightly.
"Mr. Cullen!" the teacher said, spotting him. "Take your seat."
"I dropped my pen," his voice came from under my desk.
"Get it later."
"Found it," Edward said, like everyone actually cared. He leaned forward, and his warm breath wafted over my lower leg, he was so close.
I gasped at his proximity and blinked at the ceiling, desperate for him to get off the floor, desperate for him not to. I felt his breath get hotter as he got closer, and I tensed as my eyes bulged, concentrating on what the hell he was doing. I nearly leaped from my seat when his stubbled cheek slowly swiped along the outer side of my calf muscle. I froze, a thrill shooting through my entire body at the contact, my heart tap-dancing in boots against my ribs.
"Got it!" Edward said as if the class had been waiting for an update. He was so narcissistic. Crawling backwards on the floor before standing, he grunted like an old man as he sat on his stool.
God, he got on my nerves.
As soon as the DVD stopped and the lights came on, Edward stretched with his hands over his head and groaned like a lion waking up after an all day nap. Neanderthal. Why the hell had I let him affect me the way he did all the time?
Edward Cullen was not boyfriend material.
Biting a fingernail, I wondered how close his room would be to mine for the next two weeks. Would I hear him snoring?
Oh boy.
I was delirious. I had low blood sugar after all that touching. I just needed a Snickers early today.