What I tend to mean by bad plot developement is not a nice turn in the sotry - its a baddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd time in the story!!

I can't wait for the next chapter

Wow!  So glad I'm behind everyone else or I hate you for this evil cliffie!!  As it stands I can hit next and move on ....

Oh Im thinking someone will let it slip to the Cullens.

Can't wait for more.

Agh!  What are you doing to us?!  Longer chapters, please???  Pretty please, with sugar and a cherry on top? 

 

First of all, I would just love it if the upcoming cat fight (with a certain dog jumping in the middle of it, of course) just spilled out into Charlie's backyard! No reason to hide anything from Charlie if he sees vampires and werewolves going a round for himself, right?  But, then we would have to dispose of Victoria pretty quickly after that and you might have plans for her, so maybe not...

What I really wanted to say was that I love the direction this is going in, I obviously like your story and hope for great things.  Additionally, I thought  things felt a little rushed in this chapter.  Great chapter, but thought it could use some more development.  For instance, the phone call between Carlisle and Bella/Carmen.  I really think you could have spent some more time there.  I personally missed the part where they indicated that Edward was in serious danger?  You know, heads up your son is being hunted by Italian thugs, get you rbutt up to Alaska!  But that is the Bella in my head, so just my opinion.

 

Can't wait for more!!!!

Author's Response:

Your wish, my command :)  I hope you've read the lastest installment, as it is exactly what you ask for pretty much-- except I just gotta keep charlie outta it.... he IS human afterall.... can't have bella feasting on her daddy.

 

i wanted to keep things as elusive as possible in the phone call- just using Bella's pleas and attitude to draw the Cullen's back to them.  But I agree- some more plot development probably wouldn't hurt... But I'm not gonna lie-- I'm pretty crappy at plot development. lol.

Thanks for reading and more importantly, reviewing!

Wheew I'm glad he didn't rape her.  That wold have been awful.

That was a really good chapter! good job!

ack omg! Well I'm glad the Cullens are on their way!

Hopefully either Jacob or a Cullen or Denali shows up to help with Victoria - assuming that Bella "needs" the help to take her down :)

Ugh no cliffie! I'm reviewing that you are sick and mean for leaving me with so much to be desired! Update again soon or I'll probably just die or something. And if I die I can't review anymore.

Love this.

wet dog smell...victoria?...hmmmmm

Author's Response:

Yessss- Bella has a super nose, remember?? And as I wrote, if billy was there, Jacob would be close by.  By this time, Bella knows he's a wolfie, so it stands that she would smell him..... She just wasn't focused on smelling crazy lady tho.... Hence, the surprise attack!  :)

 

keep reading and reviewing!

:O OH. NO. YOU. DID. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!

HOW COULD YOU!! you better have a trick up your sleeve or I will set loose angry italian vampires on you >.< good writing though.....bad plot developement - Edward had better survive!

Author's Response:

How is it bad plot development if I have you on the edge of your seat (possibly) and begging for an update? hmmm????  I hope the next chapter will make you happy-ish.

Wow, I really wasn't expecting that at the end. I hope you are able to post more soon, I'm really enjoying this.

Author's Response:

Thank you! I'll post soon!

What! Ok come back please.