"You're so stupid I could just smack you."  My God, I love Suzie.  She cut right to the heart of the matter.

It's so sad to watch Tina comfort herself with packing.  Packing!  For the love of God!  It's funny to me because my personal painkiller is laundry.  I put it in dirty and it comes out clean.  I further beat it down in the folding process and my final blow is putting it neatly away.  I can stuff down any heartache with enough laundry detergent and folding space, or so I tell myself.  When Tina realizes that control is a complete illusion in the first place, she is ging to have a lot of backtracking to do.

I'm still with you.  I haven't checked out the thread/forum yet, but I'm hoping to.  Real life issues have limited my online time lately, but I'm determined to read the updates and post here.

You are crafting a very real story and I continue to be thrilled to be your reader!

Author's Response:

I love Suzie, too, Hawkeye.  She's a little over the top, but she's what Tina needs.  I'm immersed in her right now because I'm writing a one-shot for my beta (birthday present) of Suzie's "onboarding" as Rob's PA (which is really more of an orientation for Rob, as I'm sure you can imagine!).  She's just wonderful!  And so helpful at channeling our frustration with Tina right now.

My painkiller is baking, or cooking - but I prefer baking.  It's therapy to me.  If I really need to work through some issues, pasta dough is the way to go - you have to beat that to within an inch of it's life!  Gluten formation and angst release go together.  But I like the laundry analogy too.  I may have to try that sometime.  Packing and cleaning are not bad, but for an organization freak like Tina, they work well.  She doesn't even realize that her compartmentalizing and sorting is so directly related to what she's doing with everything.  She's staggeringly un-self-aware sometimes.

I know how demanding real-life can be, so no worriess.  We'll be here!  The updates will still come twice a week.  I think I'm going to post on Thursday instead of Friday this week, since I don't want to compete with the Remember Me opening (and I'll be there ignoring reviews, or trying to).

Thanks so much for staying with me and for reading and reviewing.  The best praise I can get is that the story  is real.  That's what matters to me.  I'm lucky to have you as a reader because you're very insightful and keep me posted on your thoughts.  That's all we hope for as writers.  See you Monday!

Thanks for having Suzie say what I wanted to say. I hoped you would.

Lou had another shining moment there. This chapter is like a master thesis on delusion. Tina just cannot see any other reality right now.

I've been looking forward to meeting Peter. I want to see what other distractions life will throw at Tina.

Author's Response:

Suzie stepped up for all of us.  When I first wrote this story - first draft - Tina listened to Suzie in the last chapter.  Strung it out, didn't say anything... and their whirlwind passionate romance became a checklist.  It wasn't genuine.  I tried to keep it going and it was painful to write, but I did it anyway.  I ended up cutting over a hundred pages to go back to Crossroads, because this is what Tina needed to do.  Of course, that meant Suzie had a very different job.  She's relentless.

I've said from the beginning that people shouldn't hate on Lou.  Hopefully people realize now that Tina's POV is a subjective POV (just as any one character's POV would be).  It's not just limiting in scope, it's skewed.  She's very absolute.  She blows things out of proportion.  And when our tale began, she was mentally prepping herself for a split with him.  We saw only his worst traits, exaggerated for effect.  She didn't marry an asshole, though - would we really think she could?  So now we're seeing more of the real Lou, who's not such a bad guy.  Tina also gives us a skewed version of Rob, much as Bella gives us a skewed version of Edward.  Rob isn't perfect, but she's so overwhelmed by him and we get to see only his best moments, exaggerated for effect.  She needs to learn better balance.  Delusion is also something she's very good at, as you've noticed.

Life and the universe are going to keep Tina very distracted.  Peter will be an interesting client.  Ms. Bentley will also be interesting.  I'm glad you're signed on for the ride!  Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Pure envy for Tina's simple things!

I have to say, the chapters where they do "normal" things like go out and move boxes are my favorite. You have created such a real couple here. I love to see them grow and their relationship evolve. Every new step to intimacy has me cheering for them.

Don't break my heart woman. Did that sound like a threat? It was mean as a polite request with a side order of PLEASE!

Author's Response:

I'm really jealous of the simple things, too.

It makes me so happy to say you like the chapters where they are normal the best.  That's actually a big fear for me - that normal will be boring and nobody will want to read that.  I think it's so important to seeing them become a "couple" that it's not all whirlwind and drama and fame.  It's watching TV and eating and loading the dishwasher.  It's getting coffee and going grocery shopping.  That's real life.  So is disagreeing, which they still do.  Learning how to work through that is what makes them real, for me, anyway.

Can we just calibrate for a second?  By breaking your heart, would you mean no pain or angst whatsoever, or no long-term or long-lasting pain and angst?  Stick with me.  I can only promise you'll enjoy the ride!

If I had a chance to bet, I would have bet on Tina and the nightie in the game, but Rob was able to keep enough bloodflow to his brain. I am impressed.

I love how he is getting ever more deft at turning her arguments aside and not getting into it with her about her concerns. I also like that Tina is continuing to keep interjecting reality. Rob's in a bubble, he is just not seeing it all!

Author's Response:

Yeah, Alizabeth, I'd have bet on her too, especially when she won the dart-toss to break.  I really thought she could keep it together better than he could.  But don't discount the actor.  He's got to suppress his own feelings all day long when he's at work, turning real-life off and on with regularity.  Plus, rumor has it, he's pretty good at his pub sports.  I really thought it would be a close game, which it was.

You hit the nail on the head - he's in a bubble.  He is so sheltered from true reality (because his reality isn't really reality either) that he thinks he can make everything okay for her, and that she's overreacting.  She may be, but he's underreacting.  Normal is somewhere in the middle, but neither of them functions there right now.  They are getting closer to it, but it's like a pendulum swinging right now.  He is getting better at keeping her swings from being so severe, and she's getting better at bringing him back to reality.

Regardless, they are fun to watch, aren't they?  Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!  I really appreciate it!

Dear Chris,

Today I finally watched Little Ashes. Of course, I closed my eyes and didn't peek at the hmmm parts...even so I felt the need to cleanse my palate after Robdore. So I decided I would catch up on LOC because Tina's Rob is also my Rob (and Jen's Rob, etc...as we know by now). I figured there's no better cure than a little steamy Tina/Rob sex. And then you drop this BOMB on me!!! Why, oh why????

Honestly, though, I can understand Tina in a way. As I said Friday night, my Rob fantasy is drenched with angst, and there is constant contemplation of breaking up. At the same time, I do feel Tina's pain and the overwhelming anxiety that is her life now all around. That being said, I think it was wrong of her to call it off on the phone within 12 hours of separation. I know she couldn't think clearly until Rob left. In my opinion, it would have been more honest of her to tell him face-to-face. She didn't do that at the airport or before so she should have waited two weeks until they meet again in person to tell him. I also think that she should have at least given a try to being separated. Maybe it would have been beneficial in a way. She could have taken the extra time to work out her other problems and situations without constantly thinking about when she'll be seeing/shagging Rob again. If they still felt the same way about each other after a short separation, it could have served as confirmation that what they have together is a strong, worthy relationship. I think she got panicky and made a wrong decision too soon. Of course, we all do that from time to time. But she should have taken her time breaking up. If she still felt the need to break up after two weeks being apart, that would be different. It made me think about what Rob said about his past relationships...that something is so good that you almost feel the need to fuck it up. Maybe it applies to Tina as well.

I loved Suzie in this chapter (and any chapter). She is such a key character and you portray her so vividly. She's an absolute treasure to your story!

When are you introducing Steph into the story??? I think that would be absolutely hilarious!

Bethany

Author's Response:

Oh, Bethany, I'm so sorry you ended up with this chapter to purge the Robdore.  Really!  I feel very bad.

See, here's the thing.  With what they know right now, they are actually not going to be face-to-face until close to Christmas.  She leaves before he gets back, he leaves for Portland before she gets back, she's gone when he's in LA again, and when she's back he has to go to Mexico.  So she means what she says to him at the airport - she wants to believe him, she wants to make this work.  But once he's gone, and his ability to keep her more optimistic is gone, she realizes that she will not see him - at all - for four months.  She hasn't gone more than three days without seeing Frannie and she's going to be gone for three weeks on her first trip.  Basically, Frannie is moving in with Lou and she'll be the absentee parent.  So she's convinced that she's going to fail as a mother.  She's got two huge assignments like she's never done before, and while she couldn't really afford to turn them down, she's not sure she'll be able to do both simultaneously without killing herself.  So she's afraid she'll fail at her work.  Once she sees him off, her brain goes into overdrive...

One of my other readers may have said it better than I can:  Sometimes, if the only thing you can control is your pain and when it happens, that's what you do.  She just couldn't bear the thought of sacrificing time from the other two things she was already at risk of screwing up for this relationship because she honestly thought that it couldn't sustain itself (at the level intensity they were at) for four months.  She figured - we'll go back to flirting and stuff and see where we are.  He said no.  Game over.  Or is it?

I don't know if that helps you understand her a little better, but that's why she did what she did.  She actually thinks it better for him.  He's free to move on, since he doesn't want to move backward, and she can focus more time on her work and her kid.  Her heart is still breaking.  But it's breaking on her terms, which she thinks is the best she can hope for.  The idea that her heart would not, eventually, be broken, has not even entered the realm of possibilities for her.  How sad is that?

I'm glad you love Suzie.  I'm actually writing a one-shot of her "orientation" when she first starts working for Rob.  It's a gift for my beta, who is the Prez of the Suzie fan club.  It's been a ball - she's a blast to write.

The introduction of NTE/OTT and Stephs forum thread will not be until the 40s somewhere (chapter 44 or 45, I think).  I'll be writing it soon, but you won't be reading it for a while.  Sorry :-(

Now, you need an iShag tune, don't you?  Hmmm...  Prince:  Get Off, If I Was Your Girlfriend, and When Doves Cry.  See you Monday!

Arrrggh!!  Hold my hand!!!!  Arrggh!  I get it though...

Author's Response:

Hi, duders79!  I've got ya, bb!  All I can ask is that you get it.  If this is ever "not real," please kick my ass.  But Tina is a big hot mess, and in spite of his many charms and capabilities, he wasn't going to fix that in less than a month.  But he's still keeping track of her, and she can't seem to stop thinking about him.

Stick with me!  Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.  I promise to hold your hand through the rough spots.  If for no other reason than it will keep you from slapping me in the back of the head!  Haha!  See you Monday?

can i just say how I love how tina's "wordage" suddenly plummets on her day from hell... so proper and digniified, to  the shits and asses- the the fucks craps and assholes...

 

she's battling and failing...and suzie! god i love suzie... calling her on her shit and kicking ass...

yeah..packing helps to distract.. work helps to distract... but when she is alone... and its quiet... she's going to have real issues...

i loved the interaction with her and Stephanie... hahaha. i'd probably dothe same thing too... you can never be too careful!

and poor champ... just trying to make his new boss happy and then WHAMMO! crazy girlfriend messes up those orders!

i loved it ET... she is doing exactly what she would do to cope... jump into work...try to take control... but something is off... can she figure out why she won't be happy without some caring man in her life?

will she relinquish a little control, for him?

what will happen with the paps pics! 

oh i can't wait till monday now!!!!

loved it! no flamin here!

mwah!

Steph

 

Author's Response:

Thanks, darlin'!  I just posted 30 to the queue, so of course reread the whole thing.  I think you're going to like it.  We're in the belly of the angsty beast here, for sure... I'm always fangirling on Jen's internal monologue because when she's in crisis, you can see where Tina goes.  They are ETs too, I fear!  No matter what, she keeps her snarky sense of humor and her focus on work, but as you said.  What will happen when she's alone.  And she's going to be alone A LOT in the next four months.  He's going into a support system that he's had for years - whether it's the best one for him or the most mature is irrelevant, because it's people who know him and love him.  She's going to be with strangers, where she has to be ON all the time.  She needs to figure this thing out.  And she hasn't even started to try.

I'm with you - I would have been very suspicious if someone who was too busy to talk to me called me right back.  I'd want to be sure it was the real person before confirming anything.  Yes, poor Champster ends up in the middle of all of this mess.  But the escalation protocl cracked me up, as well as having to break up with the entourage.  That kind of shit just makes me giggle - it's the only way I survive the angst.

So what comes next?  She goes to NYC, that's what!  So what will happen there?  She's three hours closer to his timezone, but still pretty far away physically and emotionally.  Also, it's time to get to work.  Here we go!  I'll see you on Monday!

Thanks again!  I adore your reviews.  Love you, too, bb!  Thanks for no flaming!

i think she's going to realize that she needs rob...i'm just hoping it wont be too late...

Author's Response:

Em, really... don't you think she knows she needs him now?  She wouldn't be so scared if she didn't already know that she's gone and gotten herself hooked on him when she isn't going to be able to have him.  She talks about being his heroin, but in more ways than one, he's her drug, too.  She wants to believe there is some cosmic "undo" button where she can pretend that didn't happen and go back to "before."  But what was before?  She was so afraid of her feelings for him then that she avoided him like the plague.  Now that she's had a taste - or worse, big giant helpings - of him, she doesn't know what to do.  So she does this.  Which sucks.

So... hang in there.  Hopefully they don't jump into anything stupid to try to quit each other, right?

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!  I really appreciate it.  See you Monday?

Kris - what do you mean there is no do over button.  Of course there is.  Staples has it - you just press it and it gives you whatever you are looking for (mainly in office supplies but it should theoretically work for fictional life as well).     My Mrs. Bentley was a sweetheart (I think her first name was Winifred).  She would have had to have been to put up with the Big Bertha calendars my grandfather had on the wall in his office(actually my great grandfather on the other side of the family used to hang his in the kitchen which would have made my great grandmother an absolute saint).   Kids secretly thought they were cool - parents not so much so.   Look em up on the net (Big Bertha that is) - if you can't find one let me know and I'll explain..   God - I feel like I'm really dating myself these days.

hmm... the exec is dictatorial?  that's the pot calling the kettle black!

I like how you are sticking to this story from Tina's POV and that in Tina's real life it's not all about Rob!  As much as we joke about the pretty, that how it would be (although she really does need to get over herself and un-break up with him...is that a word?! )

Looking forward to the next chapter - when will we see Rob again if this is all Tina's POV?  Hmmm...

-Terri

Author's Response:

Hey, Terri!

Isn't it funny how she's critical of Peter and Helen, given who she is?  But she has the ability to be critical of everyone.  Equal opportunity critical, I guess!  I'm glad you like Tina's POV.  I only drop out of it when I absolutely have to - but her POV is skewed, for one thing, but also shows she has a life and a family and stuff to do.  It will be interesting to see how people respond to that, since we're going to be seeing a lot more of that life now that she's working again.

Be patient with me... remember there are phones and emails and webcams galore in the 21st century.  But first, they have to start talking again, right?  thanks for sticking with me, Terri!  I really appreciate it!

Yes - she is indeed one profoundly screwed up chick.   I'm laughing again - "Rob?  Rob who?" to Stephanie no less.   Hello - Earth to Tina?   How many Robs to you know?   I haven't heard the name Bentley in years.   Mrs. Bentley was my grandfather's office person in his plumbing business.  I hit this site and I now know a Helen Bentley (courtesy of you), Bella has a stuffed pig named Bentley given to her by Emmett in Broken, someone in one of the fics drives a Bentley.   There's another Bentley in here somewhere but I'm in the middle of so many fics now I couldn't tell you which one.

Author's Response:

Hey, Ruth!  She sure is a mess, huh?  She's doing the "Rob who?" thing because she had just called the woman and she was apparently busy, and then she gets a call back... she's paranoid that it's a reporter or pap trying to get some story, because she knows that she was seen at the club leaving with him.  Of course, she takes it waaaay overboard, but that's her way of being stealthy.  I do think she's pretty funny, even when she's dissing my dearest Rob!

Helen Bentley just sounded so... properly British.  To me, anyway.  She makes for an interesting comparison to Tina.  You'll get to know her a little better - I hope to heaven that your grandfather's office person wasn't evil incarnate.  If she was, maybe she's this Ms. Bentley.  Cuz this one... she's quite the charmer.

I haven't seen any other Bentley's, so now I'm curious.  I'll have to put that on my "to do" list (along with getting my life back) after this story is over.  But before Vegas, since apparently, Steph and I will have to drink a lot of beer and write a collab during our stay.  Are you going to come?  If you do, you need to tell me your shirt size!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!  Tri-O ladies rule!

No Comment!!! But will continue to give you the benifit of the DOUBT! Why is she lieing to everyone?? It being a "MUTUAL?" break-up.

Author's Response:

Thanks, deeLee... she's kind of convinced herself that it was mutual because she really said she wanted to go back to being friends and he broke off all contact.  Revisionist history.  And she wasn't going to tell his employees that she broke up with him, but she had too much ego to let them think he broke up with her.  So she went with mutual.  Remember, she's afraid.  She's trying to find a "do-over button" and those things just don't exist in real life.

Rob's already proving that he can't just disappear.  She's already proving that she's got to work really hard to convince herself this is for the best.  Maybe we should start a pool on the thread about how long it will be before one of them caves.

Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt.  I hope to see you Monday!