LOVE THE STORY

GREAT CHAPTER

Hey Beth

I know what you mean about finishing the story there because it is a natural ending but it would be so nice to see how their relationship develops.  I'd also like Bella to show Edward what's in her journal.

I loved this story though and thank you for sharing it.

Annette

I really, really, REALLY enjoyed this story. 

I think it makes sense to stop it, here, too.  It's a delightful beginning and their relationship starts out on a more equal footing (as such things are reckoned in such a universe, eh?). 

Thank you for sharing this with all of us!  

Sorry for not reviewing the other chapters but honestly, I didn't like them very much. However, this chapter let me understand the direction this story is heading, and I can honestly say that I LOVED this chapter!  I can't wait for this story to reveal it's self. Keep up the great work.

That was so sweet!  I loved this short little story.  Thank you so much for sharing it.

xoxo Sarah

That's awesome!  Edward caught red handed!  I can't wait to see what happens next-is Edward going to dismember Alice?  Heeheehee!

omg love it!!!!!!!!!!! this chapter has 2 b the best chapter ever!!! please hurry with the next it's awesome!

Oh! This is highly interesting!

Bella's apparent shielding...is she aware of it?  

I appreciate Edward's honesty with himself there at the end.  How she presents for him an opportunity to be with someone...  Unusual that he would prefer a human, but her quiet mind must be an allure indeed.

Looking forward to reading. Glad I waited 'til you had a plurality of chapters to begin. lol

 

LJ

First it was a real pleasure to once again read the first passage from Midnight Sun. Second, I do like aspects of the concept which you have here, but your version of Edward isn't internally well enough motivated. Basically its important for the motivations of the character to make sense, and for it to sound like something he would actually be thinking. Here his reasoning about Isabella to a large extent sounds much more as though he is being given pro forma thoughts to advance the plot, and that they aren't coming from the characters and the situation. Basically have the same set of thoughts but write it in a way that is a bit shorter, and where he isn't yet comitting to a course of action.

 

He should be aware that he is attracted to Bella, and feel the jealousy, etc. But he shouldn't be comitted to the form of action yet. Anyways not a bad opening.

Wow! She caught him! I'm dying to hear that conversation the next day.

love it

Lol!  Peeping Edward has been caught red-handed.  I didn't see that coming at all.  I'm totally enjoying this story, bb! 

xoxo Sarah

busted lol

love the story