And here is some more incessant babbling - what came to mind as I read! Please don’t think you have to reply extensively – you can just say eg ‘Thanks for reading!” ;)
<< Wuthering Lows >>
I like the title!
<< Edward watched as a dark expression clouded her exquisite features. He yearned to run to her, to reach up and skim his fingers across the lines of depression on her face, smoothing and caressing her warm alabaster skin. He ached to feel the supple softness of her scorching lips on his. He wished to scoop her into his arms, cradling her like a precious gift. >>
Aww, Edward’s a poet! Oh wait, that’s you. ;)
<< But he could do none of that. He had made his promise to her. >>
To her? Or to himself? For her? …He’s deciding what’s best for her again… grrr
<< He expelled a long, tortured sigh. >>
He’s torturing them both! *and us too!*
<< Nina's words scrambled in her brain: Perhaps Edward is all around you? >>
Eek! Literally! Not quite, I think, what the author of the tale had in mind! ;)
<< Edward crouched a bit lower, almost wishing that she could see him... Her eyes… failing to detect his presence, and he sighed again with regret. >>
Oh, Edward! You need to make a decision one way or the other. There’s no point - hovering on the periphery; living a half existence; yearning for something so powerfully and yet being the very one who’s preventing it from happening.
<< she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. The look of relief made her appear younger, more peaceful, more appealing to him. >>
She can smell him? Perhaps it’s because she’s so desperate to have him near… her entire being is tuned into picking up any sign of him… Or perhaps her desperation is making her imagine things, like in the books/movie.
Some one should tell Bella that Edward finds her more attractive when she’s not so down and heavy!
<< Taking in gulps of his tantalizing scent, she noticed that she did not feel the familiar aching hole inside of her upon thinking about him. She only felt a reprieve, a sense of hope, like he was there with her, inside of her, protecting her and looking after her. >>
<< Could Life Without Ed become a Life With Meaning? >>
Oh I hope so! Then when they finally reunite, they can do so as independent, whole partners who are happy in themselves. :)
<< She was now even more determined to visit the location holding so much meaning for them both: the meadow. She wondered if the lush green meadow would continue to be such a special place for her — a place to reconnect to him, a place to reconnect to her. >>
Ooh dear! :S It’s great in theory, but… *has nightmare-flashes of wolves removing their shirts and pretty people with red eyes*
<< the glimmer of light in Bella's eyes >> << She flashed him the first genuine smile he had seen in months. >>
Yay for that! It’s been a while. :)
<< "My next client just cancelled >> <<She wondered if her next client had reconsidered cancelling. >>
They escaped the mind-shrinker! *good for them!* ;)
<< Most of the Quileutes did not trust white man's medicine, especially psychotherapy. Her career choice was yet one more thing that set her apart from the tribe. >>
It must be hard for Nina to be an outcast – shunned by the only community that she knew / belonged to; perhaps not quite belonging to the community in which she now lives… :(
<< "It's not normal,"… Something's wrong. I know it. A mother just knows these things." >>
<< (Nina) She'd known something was wrong with her son Adam before he had killed himself. She'd known, and she'd ignored it, chalking it up to normal adolescent angst. >>
Aww, shame. Regret’s a terrible thing. It’s so easy to second guess yourself in hindsight. To be fair, though, not many people – even trained professionals - recognise the signs of changing-into-a-werewolf!
<< Sue sounded relieved that Nina didn't think she was crazy. >>
Nice for her not to be dismissed as a paranoid mother. *as people around her probably have*
<< "You know, after everything that's gone down between our families, it took a lot for me to call you, to beg you to help us." Sue's voice was tight. "But I see things haven't improved between us." >>
Oh no! Misunderstanding!!!
<< Why were things always so difficult in her family . . . misunderstandings, mistakes, mixed up meanings? And why did she always let the family's mess get to her so much? >>
Because you love them. Would love to be accepted by them. It must be lonely – your extended family growing up nearby, yet so far away; with only your work and ailing mother for company. :/
<<Still trying to figure out how she could have played that phone conversation with her aunt differently >>
Shame. Second guessing herself again. Her aunt simply doesn’t understand the ethical boundaries of her profession.
<< Nina… seemed alone and broken, filled with loss and heartache. He knew the feeling well. >>
Aw. *for them both*
<< She felt slightly disconcerted that he knew the Subaru was hers >>
But Edward met her (and her mother) in the clinic parking lot! She put her mother in the car.
<< She recalled Bella disclosing that Edward loved her scent, even though she didn't wear any perfume. >>
<< His eyes snapped open and he gave her a worried look… The psychologist was also a keen observer, and he was careful to present the same sated eye color to her every time he saw her. >>
<<"I do have a good sense of smell, I guess." His shrug looked rather unnatural. >>
Nina has a good memory! She’s very attentive to her clients. A keen observer indeed. Edward (and Bella) must watch out for this one! ;) (hee hee, such a paradox – hiding things from your therapist! Like lying to your lawyer! *shakes head*)
<< What a relief that her entire life was not an open book, read through the pages of her thoughts. After unwittingly hearing far too detailed private information from those around him, it was such a pleasure for this human's personality to unfold more organically. >>
I’m glad that Edward’s found another person with whom he can have a more organic relationship. With Charlie’s mind being somewhat similar, maybe Ed could develop a good relationship with him one day. *which would have to be one day soon; before Charlie dies of old age* ;)
<< "Depression implies a deviation from one's normal euthymic state. I've always been this way."… "There's nothing deviant about it." >>
LOL, how proud you must be! You’re NATURALLY an old drag! ;D
<< "I see you've been reading your father's medical textbooks again, memorizing mood disorder diagnoses. >>
Something like that! ;)
<< "Surely you haven't always been so down on yourself? So intense? Surely you've been more carefree at some point in your life?" >>
<< "Perhaps a long time ago." He sounded forlorn. >>
<< "When you were a child?"… "That wasn't quite so long ago, now was it?" If you only knew. … Nina frowned when he didn't answer. >>
I like that Nina is picking up on their subtle clues. She mustn’t brush them off as nothing – she must follow her instincts, like she advised her aunt to!
<< "But nothing since then? No sunshine breaking through the clouds of depression?" . . . when I was with Bella." He looked utterly haunted when his mouth caressed the two syllables of her name. >>
Wow. Powerful stuff! (…Teenage girls are expecting THIS now!... :O )
<< But you were the one to break up with her, correct?" …. Why on earth do you think you're no good for her?" … "I can't go into the details." …"Can't, or won't?" >>
That’s actually a good question! And Nina know the answer: “Won’t”! (Although I suppose that her reaction is not going to make him WANT to, either! Pushy! :s )
<< If he had a heart, it would be pounding right now. >>
! Every now and then you remind me that he’s a vampire! ;)
<< The Volturi would not be pleased with him spilling their secrets to a human psychologist. >>
They may kill him just for seeing her! :O And her for seeing him!! You’re bad news, Edward. Perhaps you should go mope somewhere… ;)
<< "Perhaps it was a bad idea to return." ….she insisted, "No, it wasn't a bad idea. Forgive me. I'm pushing too much, and we barely know each other. Please stay." >>
True - she first needs to gain his trust. (At the same time, the reason why he’s there to is spill his guts; She’s there as an objective observer / sounding board; He’s not going to ‘get to know’ her as such.)
<<What was it about him that made her so testy and overbearing with this Edward Cullen? …. Nina definitely had a soft spot for Bella, and seeing her so shattered from the departure of her boyfriend had drawn out quite a sense of empathy in Nina. >>
Is this her being testy and overbearing? I suppose she has good reason for getting a negative impression of Edward, after seeing Bella the way she is. Tough luck being the second one in the door, Ed!
<< Listening to Bella describe her ex-boyfriend, Nina had developed a mental image of him as a cocky, careless, foolish boy — he'd have to be to leave such a lovely girl — but the man before her was the antithesis of such an image. Edward seemed unfailingly polite and self-doubting, but what confused her most of all was that he appeared to be even more destroyed than Bella by the break-up, if that was possible. >>
Confusing indeed! There’s a lot more to them than meets the eye (or ear), Nina!
<< Both Bella and Edward were mired in low self-esteem, seemingly still in love despite being apart for almost five months, appearing to continue to need each other with a palpable ache. Despite all of this, Edward was refusing to reunite with Bella, and refusing to tell Nina why. It drove Nina crazy. >>
That IS maddening, isn’t it? The two of them are there to talk through their problems, yet they won’t be entirely OPEN about their circumstances!
Five months is a long time in teenage-land.
<< Adding to Nina's frustration was the fact that Edward was evidently lingering near Bella without her knowledge. If he had decided to leave her, then why was he still here? His creeping around in the shadows did not seem very honorable. Moreover, his presence during her risk-taking sprees had gone so far as to make Bella question if she was having hallucinations. Not only was Edward driving Nina crazy, but Bella as well. Nina's anger toward Edward for misleading Bella now returned. >>
Great reasons for her to be annoyed with him! (putting aside the fact, for a second, that had Nina not decided to take on Ed as a patient, she could have told Bella about her stalker; that she is not hallucinating!) It’s driving me crazy, too, Nina! It’s serving no productive purpose; it’s not good for anyone!
<< Realizing that she was bound by confidentiality, Nina sat quietly for a few moments, trying to discern a method for calling out Edward on his deplorable behavior. She finally said, "Let's talk about Wuthering Heights." >> << "A client told me it was one of her favorites… He quietly received her pointed look. >>
Creative idea!! Yet transparent to everyone involved ;) Tippy toeing on those boundaries, ‘ey, Nina? ;)
<< "Heathcliffe thinks that he's actually seeing Catherine, although she has died, and he is extremely disturbed by these visions. He's having hallucinations . . . very frightening experiences. Seeing, or hearing, something that is not really there, well, that is the stuff of nightmares.">>
<< A look of guilt ghosted Edward's pale features. >>
*to Edward:* For good reason! Nightmarish indeed!
<< (Nina) can you imagine if she had really been there? If Heathcliffe was indeed seeing her, but stuck on believing he had conjured her image? Can you imagine how awful that would be?" …..(Edward) "It would be intolerably cruel." >>
YES! (Edward must have felt so down on himself when he said that!) :(
<< "I think . . ." Edward hesitatingly began, "I think that if Catherine truly loved Heathcliffe, that she would stay away for good . . . that she wouldn't continue to haunt him."…. "I think you're right," Nina agreed, feeling relieved that he had understood her. >>
Ah, but wait, Nina…
<< "If Catherine truly loved Heathcliffe," Edward continued, "then she would leave him forever. It would be as if she'd never existed."… Nina paused. "Possibly. Though as much as Catherine wouldn't want Heathcliffe to feel pain after she left, it would be impossible for her to simply erase her existence. She'd left an indelible mark on his heart." >> << "Or, if Catherine loved him as dearly as she claimed to, maybe she would reveal herself to him, so they could resume their love." >>
Truer words have never been said! *gongs Edward on the head with a dong*
<< He continued to play along with the Wuthering Heights analogy, feeling grateful for the ruse allowing him to speak about the situation. >>
Poor Nina has her work cut out for her with these two! …coming to therapy, yet not wanting to talk (directly) about their situation!
<< "What if Catherine coming back to Heathcliffe would somehow put his life in mortal danger? Would you still advocate for her to return to him?" >> << Dropping all the pretense, Nina sharply asked, "You would be putting Bella's life in danger by returning to her?" >>
<< "I don't want to push you too fast, but Edward, I must know this: are you planning on hurting Bella?" >>
Eek, that sounds bad!!
<< (Edward) "There are some things I cannot tell you, Dr. Carlton. I'm not trying to be evasive, or make things harder for you, I just, I have my reasons. Will you accept that?" >>
‘I’m not trying to be evasive; I’m just evading your question…’ From Nina’s POV: why see a therapist *confidentially*, if you’re not going to answer certain questions? ... unless you have something to hide… something that she’d have to report…!!?
<< Nina gazed at him somewhat suspiciously. It seemed like Bella was the same as Edward in this regard, refusing to share certain details of her life. >>
Nina sees this? I think that Bella is slowly but surely opening up to Nina as her sessions progress. I would think that this is rather normal, as you develop a trusting therapist-client relationship.
<< The truth was that there were some things Nina couldn't tell Edward either, because such a disclosure would breach Bella's confidentiality. >>
LOL. Quite a “triangle” (web?) Nina has got herself in, here!!! ;)
<< they were speaking entirely too much about Bella. This was supposed to be Edward's session, but Bella seemed to be haunting them both. >>
So true. She can’t help Edward with his problems by talking around the topic of Bella.
<< Edward squirmed. He now knew the reason he had come for counseling: to help himself. He knew he needed this, but it didn't mean he had to like it. With trepidation, he asked, "What would you like to know, Dr. Carlton?" >>
Pragmatic Ed! :)
<< "Let's start with your biological parents then." >>
A great place to start!
<< I do want to assure you that even though Bella is learning how to live without Edward in Mimiteh, she very much still desires to be with him (if he gets his head out of his arse and finally returns to her!) >>
Good to know! *or you’d be stoned by Twerds* ;) There’s no reason why two happy, healthy ‘people’ shouldn’t be with the one they love!
Thanks for reading! :) And thanks for these comments as well:
<< Aww, Edward’s a poet! >> Aww, that is sweet of you to say!
<< He’s deciding what’s best for her again… grrr >>
More on this in the next chapter. I've got a folktale all lined up, hee hee.
<< Eek! Literally! Not quite, I think, what the author of the tale had in mind! ;) >>
Ha ha. The author was not picturing a stalking vampire!
<< Oh, Edward! You need to make a decision one way or the other. There’s no point - hovering on the periphery; living a half existence; yearning for something so powerfully and yet being the very one who’s preventing it from happening. >>
Well said. Stop this pussyfooting, Ed. Either you're in or you're out.
<< Oh I hope so! Then when they finally reunite, they can do so as independent, whole partners who are happy in themselves. :) >>
DING DING DING! That's EXACTLY what I'm trying to achieve in this fic.
<< They escaped the mind-shrinker! *good for them!* ;) >>
Nice way to work that in, ha ha. *grumbles*
<< To be fair, though, not many people – even trained professionals - recognise the signs of changing-into-a-werewolf! >>
<< Because you love them. Would love to be accepted by them. It must be lonely – your extended family growing up nearby, yet so far away; with only your work and ailing mother for company. :/ >>
Aw, that makes me sad for Nina. Her life kind of sucks right now.
*gasps* People never lie to their attorneys, do they?
<< LOL, how proud you must be! You’re NATURALLY an old drag! ;D >>
Ha ha ha! He IS an old Debbie Downer.
Nina would typically be less suspicious and more empathic with a new client, but she knows something is not right with Ed.
<< *gongs Edward on the head with a dong* >>
<< There’s no reason why two happy, healthy ‘people’ shouldn’t be with the one they love! >>
Absolutely agreed. Except if one of the peoples is a vampire. :) Fabulous review, Nix!