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Reviewer: LizzieMac09 (Signed) · Date: March 29, 2011 10:26 AM · On: Chapter 11

I suspect Edward will direct Bella to the meadow where he tried to kill himself.  Hopefully, he has no intention of repeating the attempt, at least not with Bella there to hold him, but perhaps he needs to go back in order to go forward.

Reviewer: ElvaFae (Signed) · Date: March 29, 2011 09:40 AM · On: Chapter 31

well, this is easy! he really should have thought of it sooner.... she went to the meadow, right?

wonderful story, one of the best I've read! thank you for sharing this with us :)

Reviewer: LizzieMac09 (Signed) · Date: March 28, 2011 01:48 PM · On: Chapter 9

I imagine their reactions to this awful news has little to do with any kind of kinship or sadness at Jessica's death per se, as neither of them particularly liked her.  For Bella, it will be the means of her death, and perhaps guilt over thinking of Jessica as just whining over an imagined problem; whereas, for Edward, he will surely regret his outburst at the group where he spoke of Jessica being "allowed to choose to die".  This is a such an early blow to their fledgling relationship and I'm not sure they are equipped to deal with it particularly well.

Author's Response:

Neither of them were close with her because neither of them understood her.  That said, there is that sense of 'one of us crazies' that bonds them.  It's also close to home because of their histories.  It's a turning point moment for them, for varying reasons....

Reviewer: HMP1959 (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2011 06:39 PM · On: Epilogue

Hi, I have just finished your wonderful story. If as you say you have been to even part of the darkness Bella and Edward have experienced, I have to say to you that (even though I do not know you) I am so very proud of you and your achievements in creating this wonderful story.  Keep writing as you have a special talent. 

I look forward to reading more.

HMP xx

Author's Response:

Thank you, so much for your kind words.  I have definitely been to the depths, as these characters have, but found my way back.  Crawled, really, my way back.  I'm working on an original work now, that will hopefully pan out. 

Reviewer: LizzieMac09 (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2011 09:54 AM · On: Chapter 5

Drive-by review - you write bloody brilliant lemons.  That is all.

Reviewer: LizzieMac09 (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2011 09:04 AM · On: Chapter 4

I do so fear for these two - their connection is so strong, so intense, so quickly.  And Carlisle is right - it's hard, if not impossible to truly love another if you don't even like yourself.  If you have no self-worth, then how can you believe that you are worthy of someone else's love; and if you feel unworthy of their love then your own feelings become tainted and all you end up doing is driving the other person away.

Just need to take a moment to remark on how beautifully written this fic is.  I am incredibly anal about good grammar, syntax and spelling, and the lack of those things can - and usually does - ruin what might otherwise be a good story.  It's so good to read such a well-constructed, intelligent and erudite fanfic.

Author's Response:

Thank you.  I'm a grammar nazi, myself, and lose interest in stories with lousy syntax and spelling quite quickly.  It's why I beta for good ol' Twilighted:  someone's gotta help clean things up!  LOL. 

Reviewer: LizzieMac09 (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2011 08:26 AM · On: Chapter 3

To lose a loved one in such tragic and violent circumstances is devastating, but to believe that the blame lies with oneself would be such a towering, almost insurmountably painful place to be.  When Bella put the gun in her mouth, did she just want to know what it felt like, or did she contemplate pulling the trigger?  I understand now why she wanted metal in her mouth, as a permanent reminder of that pain.  The additional tragedy here, of course, is that Bella is so locked into her own heartache and guilt that even though she can recognise the pain it causes her father she cannot stop herself from descending into this pit of depression, which excludes everyone who cares about her.  Their love and tenderness holds no sway over her because she believes they simply cannot understand, so she was fortunate, indeed, to meet a kindred spirit in Ronan.  He won't try to smother her with sympathy, he will just try to enable her to find a way to deal with it.

Author's Response:

It was primarily about knowing what her mother experienced, not death, although subconsciously, she was struggling with survivor guilt.  She wouldn't have pulled the trigger if Charlie never came downstairs... but she was definitely in a very dark place.

Reviewer: LizzieMac09 (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2011 07:06 AM · On: Chapter 1

I came across this story by chance, doing a search for something interesting.  I love an angsty story I can get my teeth into, one which will move me as well as hold my attention, and, as a huge fan of the wonderful HunterHunting's CW&IA (and who, in their right mind isn't?!), I thought I'd give this a try.  I hope you don't mind the comparison - it's meant entirely as a compliment, and although the premise is similar, this story sounds like it has it's own road to travel.  I was waiting for it to finish before starting as I'm already reading a huge number of WIPs, but I do like to have a completed fic on the go for when updates are a bit intermittent. 

I am fortunate in my life to have never had to deal with any real tragedy, other than the death of my parents, but I was an adult and that's just the natural order of things, no matter how sad or difficult it is to deal with.  I have never suffered from depression (other than the self-pity I allowed myself to wallow in during a particularly unpleasant period last year due to excrutiating back pain and surgery), so I have no point of reference or connection with such characters.  However, that doesn't detract from my interest in their story, nor my hope for their redemption.

I'm a tragically poor reviewer, so don't expect too much from me, but I will review when I feel I have something to say.  And now on to Chapter 2 ...

Reviewer: angelblue (Signed) · Date: March 12, 2011 10:43 AM · On: Epilogue

Good. Long. Sad. painful. Felt it, had to skip some, just cause the pain was too ...... so good writing.  I avoided this story for a long time because I knew the context was gonna hurt and I had a flash that reminded me why not, so I just want you to know that your writing is that powerful and If I were less like the characters it would have been easier to read.  Thanks for sharing it.

Author's Response:

I understand what you mean... and always, be safe, first and foremost.  I do hope the ending brought hope with it, because that is the message:  in darkness, there can be light. 

Reviewer: angelblue (Signed) · Date: March 11, 2011 06:58 PM · On: Chapter 12


Reviewer: bellaandedwardinlove (Signed) · Date: March 11, 2011 05:23 PM · On: Chapter 33

My Dear,


I know you have written this piece some time ago... but I must tell you.... you are brilliant.  I have struggled so so many times in my life... with whether to live ... to fight another day or... just let go.... Thank you for all of your work... thank you for using Tori... the goddess of song... and depth of being ... I understand... more than I wish I did... Your portraile of Bella and Edward's struggle and love is truly epic.  Thank you.. And thank you to Gravity and Karma.. Aslan... says 'meow'.  :)

Author's Response:

Tori's music saved my life, without question; she was there in my darkest moments.  Spark is my song, and always will be.  This was one of my favourite chapters, 33....  It wasn't in the outline at all, and was just a pure emotional reaction that flew out of me. 

Their struggle is indeed epic and beautiful; I'm so happy they let me capture it.

The kitties are pleased that the hours of being ignored were worth it. LOL

Reviewer: JD Thorn (Signed) · Date: March 10, 2011 06:40 PM · On: Chapter 16

Awesome FUCKHOT lemon! Loving this story so far. Reviewing is hard from my phone, but I had to let you know your work is so appreciated.I love the way they both need each other like their lives depend on it. Well I suppose they literally do. I love the raw passion & lust these two have for each other too. I love these characters like they are family. Thank you for sharing. I can't wait to read Disc Jockeys also. That is next on the list. A long ride ahead so off I go. - JDT
And reading on...

Reviewer: lovestoread19 (Signed) · Date: March 09, 2011 06:41 PM · On: Chapter 1

I have to say your an awesome writer. I started reading this yesterday and waited till i was finished to review but it had me in tears in some parts and laughing and or smiling in others and believe me when i say i'm not the type to get emotional over something i dont cry over movies and stuff but stories like this one always get to me due to alot of crap i've had to deal with add that to my suicidal tendencys and what my shrink in his indian accent likes to dub manic behavior and bipolar disorder and i end up in a cry fest. but thanks for writing something so real and inspiring.

Author's Response:

I'm so touched that my writing affected you, and truly hope that it's helped a little with the darkness in your head.  I struggle daily with bipolar disorder and spent many years fighting suicide.  I've been there, and no matter how dark it feels now, I promise you, it can get better.  Hang on, and be brave.  <3

Reviewer: annvander (Signed) · Date: March 09, 2011 06:15 PM · On: Epilogue

This story is awesome. I loved it. I read it all the way though before I wrote a review. I love the characters and so many of the scenes acutally made me cry. You are a wonderful author. Thank you for a wonderful story!!!!

Reviewer: Cyper22 (Signed) · Date: March 05, 2011 04:10 AM · On: Epilogue

Again - WOW!


I am so impressed by your writing - you do amazing work!

It was so awesome to read a story where the characters said so many of the same phrases that my hubby and I use towards each other and to see our own warped sense of humor reflected in someone elses words. 

The entire plot touched me too - I don't have the words or the emotional energy right now to tell you just how much but I think I've figured out a way to reach out and finally dump out some of the garbage that has been swirling around in my head. 

So THANK YOU - for creating such an inspiring story - for entertaining me and for letting me know I'm not alone.  I started reading cause I've been hiding from my liife for a while and gained more than you could imagine from reading this one. 


Off to see what other beauties you have created!


Author's Response:

Thank you, so much, and I am so happy that this little fic has helped you sort through the emotional wreckage in your own head.  It was highly therapeutic for my own, for laying lingering demons to rest.  Sounds like your hubby is a lot like my fiance, which is awesome. <3

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: March 05, 2011 01:23 AM · On: Epilogue


Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: March 02, 2011 09:43 PM · On: Chapter 31

She went to Edward's meadow didn't she.....

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: March 02, 2011 09:29 PM · On: Chapter 30

Well, perk of waiting till a story is done to read = no waiting, drawback..... dont get to vote on stuff.....oh well, can't wait to see which one you did. On to the next chappie.

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: March 02, 2011 08:57 PM · On: Chapter 29

I can't blame Jake, he has his own crap to deal with....and he's so freakin cute......

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: March 02, 2011 08:38 PM · On: Chapter 28

I was wondering when she would get to Jake, long overdue confrontation for her.

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: March 02, 2011 08:00 PM · On: Chapter 27


Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: March 02, 2011 05:42 PM · On: Chapter 26

At this point I understad Edward's reaction, though I am surprised it didn't push Bella over the edge.

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: March 02, 2011 05:41 PM · On: Chapter 26

At this point I understad Edward's reaction, though I am surprised it didn't push Bella over the edge.

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: March 02, 2011 05:14 PM · On: Chapter 25

I was wondering if you were going to go with the cliffs.....How guilty should Bella feel? 54% guilty, it was her poor choices that put them in the situation, but she certainly didn't anticipate the outcome, and now it can't be changed.  now you said there is more.....hmmm.

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: March 02, 2011 04:51 PM · On: Chapter 24

So much in this chapter, Rose...the tattoo...Bella finally starting to tell him about Jake. You really like those cliffies don't you. At least I don't have to wait for the next chapter.

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