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Reviewer: TeriAnn (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 08:32 AM · On: Chapter 25

At the end of the day this was an accident, Bella didn't set out to harm Rachel in fact she told her to go home.  Having said that being under the influence of drink and drugs obviously made for bad decisions from Bella and I can see why the tribe are angry at her (anyone would be if it was their family member who had died) Although their harrasment of her is totally uncalled for.

I do really feel for Bella and can understand her guilt, but we all make mistakes its just unfortunate that hers led to the death of her friend. 

Thank you for the double chapter can't wait to see what comes next. T x



Author's Response:

The harassment is pretty localized to a small group of angry people.  Leah is just a bitch, and was waiting for ammunition on Bella; Sam and Paul are hotheads.  Seth is torn, and Quil's in the middle - and neither would be happy about the dreamcatcher 'gift' or Leah's actions in Port Angeles. 

Reviewer: TeriAnn (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 08:00 AM · On: Chapter 24

Great chapter, I take back all the bad things I thought about Rosalie I felt so sorry for her after hearing her story.  I'm glad Edward saw her in a different light too, her idea to get Bella to talk was really good.

It was nice to hear about Tanya too, and can imagine how hard it must and still be for Edward.  Now to read about Bella..... xx

Reviewer: Shonla (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 07:13 AM · On: Chapter 25

Omg. I was thinking it was a car accident. Well now that we know I guess she should feel responsible for her death in a way and the people of La Push have a right to be mad but that's a fucked up situation.

Reviewer: roxnroll (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 06:54 AM · On: Chapter 25

Ok... I KNEW IT was an accident, but with Bella being stoned, I can see now why she was blamed. If I were in that situation, I would totally blame myself.

Obviously she was hurting and was trying to reach out, but that backfired didn't it?

I don't think that Edward will judge her, but I think that he will see that she is far from being ok.

I can't wait to read the total aftermath. Great job.

Rox

Reviewer: missy77 (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 05:42 AM · On: Chapter 25

Now her pain makes a lot more sense.  I can understand why she is having such a hard time recovering.  First she loses her mother and then, just a couple of years later, she (kind of causes) a perfect girl to lose her life trying to save Bella.  Lots of guilt.

 

Reviewer: babynancy (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 04:54 AM · On: Chapter 25

wow im speachless i had a idea of what happend but again i say wow so much to take in i love this story i can dive into it and forget life for a bit update soon

Reviewer: jemappellegenevieve (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 04:09 AM · On: Chapter 25

i was so nervous reading this chapter. my heart was racing.

Reviewer: bitemecullen_justdoit (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 04:03 AM · On: Chapter 25

It was an accidant! She tried to make Rachel go home! They were startled and lost their balance! It's not her fault!

Reviewer: tinaconnor (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 03:58 AM · On: Chapter 25

I am one of the guilty ones who have been checking in and not reviewing.  THere is just so much over the top angst in so many of the stories I follow that I am taking a break.  I keep checking to see when this one is going to round the corner.  Not giving up, just taking a break.  I will catch up.  Your writing is amazing.  So good that I get too caught up in the story.  Keep going, I need you to turn that corner.  Once I know all will be well then I can go back and read it.  It isn't like I didn't know what I was getting into, with the title and all, and my skim reading tells me that Rose has yet to drop her bomb.  Still rough road ahead.

Reviewer: craving2read (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 03:01 AM · On: Chapter 25

Sad events on so many levels. Everyone was cracking before this and prime for falling apart. Charlie should have expected the day to be affecting Bella, but he's in his own bubble of denial.

I'll be interested in seeing how you write Edward to react to this.

Reviewer: twistedbytwilight (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 02:12 AM · On: Chapter 25

I would have reviewed chap 24, but I couldn't wait....had to click that beautiful "Next" button immediately to get to the Rachel story.


 


I love Rosalie to begin with, and chap 24 made me want to just hold her.  It’s perfect that Rosalie was one of the catalysts for Edward to understand Bella.


 


Alive…awesome freaking song.


 


Let It Rain…I’ve been in love with that song since ’99 when a friend introduced me to Amanda Marshall.   Have shed many a tear to that song.  Just about shed more when I read this chap.  Damn, grrl, you’re good.


 


I had a strong feeling the cliffs at LaPush would play into the death of Rachel.  Still was fighting back tears as I saw the moment build and build. 


 


GAH, I want you to post Chap 26 today. 



Author's Response:

I seriously want to hug Rose and love her.  I do.  She's had a strange soft spot for Edward underneath because they've both been outsiders, but his lashing out has always brought out her bitch side.  But Emm is so sweet, I had to explain her so people could understand why he loves her:  she's a fighter.

Let It Rain and I are great friends.  Lots of crying to it.  It actually started playing on shuffle and the whole 'rain songs' sequence wrote itself in.  It's one of my favourite scenes now of the entire fic.

Chapter 26 is going to wait a bit - I have promised myself I need to wrap the last two chapters of TTLG up and make it finito, and my fiance has the weekend off with me (yay! - takes us three weeks in his schedule to get here) and we have a Roger Waters concert, too. (OMGIAMFREAKINGOUT)  But early next week, I will deliver 26, I hope.

<3

Reviewer: olsson82 (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 01:45 AM · On: Chapter 25

great chapter.....

Reviewer: Blacky82 (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2010 11:54 PM · On: Chapter 25

Hi, my name is Kyliw, im from Australia. I have been reading your story from the beginning but never reviewed, i thought i would review this time. I am loving this story, it is very emotional and is one of the best fanfics I have read. I am looking forward to the next chapter, keep up the great work.

Love Kylie.

Reviewer: Shonla (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2010 11:50 PM · On: Chapter 24

Kitten call. Luv it. Great chapter.

Reviewer: readergoof (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2010 11:21 PM · On: Chapter 25

i figured they had jumped but not in that way with her high



Author's Response:

More like, "In trying to stop Bella from jumping, they slipped" but yes, you were one of the ones who intuitively caught on quick that the cliffs were key. :D Glad I was able to throw in a little twist.

Reviewer: HopeStreet (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2010 11:08 PM · On: Chapter 25

I'm going to have to re-read these last couple of chapters when I get home from vacation.  YouTube on dial up is too choppy.

That story is so freaking tragic.  Rachel was only trying to keep Bella safe and Bella was too far gone.  She did try to get Rachel to leave her alone, but I would not have left Bella behind either.  I had actually thought that Bella had made Rachel a drinking partner and an accident happened after a night of too much partying.  I got the too much partying right but Rachel was an innocent and a caring person throughout Bella's night of getting high as a kite. 

I really think Edward is not going to shun her for her mistake.  If anything, he'll probably think his sin with Tanya is worse because he was being purposely callus when he said those awful things to Tanya.

I almost hate to read what the aftermath was.  I'm sure that Bella just accepted everything that has been dumped on her by the people at the Rez as a just and proper penance.  Thank you so much for this double update!

 



Author's Response:

You nailed it in the last paragraph:  she's accepted everything they say to her, because she feels utterly and totally to blame.  She sees it, like Edward saw Liz killing herself when he dumped her, as her emotional problems having a casualty.  If she had dealt with her mother's passing properly, she wouldn't have self-medicated to where she endangered someone she'd adopted as a kid sister of her own. 

Rachel's innocence and sobriety, as well as her younger age, play a huge role in the how and why the Rez reacts as it does.  Some feel sorry for Bella, like Seth and Quil, because they see how sorry she is.  Some are quick to anger and blame like Sam and Paul; Leah is just a bitch, using Bella's weaknesses.

Chapter 26 will sort of sum all that up (how the initial reaction went down and how Bella took it); we will have another 'present day' visit to La Push before the story ends that will be a little surprising, I wager.

 

Thanks so much for reviewing, and definitely listen to the music.  I'm always writing to specific playlists but these chapters were extremely driven by songs.

Reviewer: annetted (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2010 10:58 PM · On: Chapter 25

Hey bb

I haven't reviewed very often but I thought I would after this chapter. I don't think that Rachel's death was any more Bella's fault than Tanya was Edward's. They were both tragic accidents. How would Jacob have reacted if it had been Bella that died. Would they have blamed Rachel? I don't think so.

I think Edward will see it as an accident too. Sure Bella was messed up but it's not like she pushed Rachel over the edge. It's amazing how guilt can eat at a person and make something so much worse in your mind. I'm pissed off at Charlie though, that he could blame Bella for what happened.

Love your story.

Annette



Author's Response:

Remember that phrase "not like she pushed Rachel over the edge..." - it will become relevant in a twisted sense in the next chapter. 

A lot of people guessed DUI - call it Drunk Diving instead.  Bella is also about 5 years older than Rachel, so she would be seen as 'responsible' for her...

I agree; what happened to Tanya was a tragic accident.  Edward is funny, in that he blames himself like he is cursed for everything.  I really loved having Andy, his therapist, call him out on how "if getting dumped made Liz kill herself, maybe she had her own pain underneath, just as bad as yours".  It's so true. 

Thank you for reviewing; I send these chapters out and never know what so many people think.  I don't mind constructive  criticism; I enjoy it.  It's the way to grow.  But it is nice to hear positive ones. ;)

Reviewer: Eric (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2010 10:34 PM · On: Chapter 25

Dear Casket4m tears,

I am really enjoying this story.  I can't wait to see how they pull out of the hell they are in.  Keep going, please.   

I have survived through a hell of a childhood, losing my mother at ten to cancer and being left alone with an abusive, drunk father. 

You are capturing the despair and the hopelessness of the characters very well. If you are only in your 20's, then you either have a very vivid imagination, or have not lived untouched by life.

I found my soulmate in my early 20'a and we are each others saving grace.  I could never have broken through my upbringing alone.  People who new my circumstances always told me that he was my reward for getting through.  In the last two years I have faced multiple cancers and with his never wavering love, again, I survive. 

I am a Twilight fan because I really understand love at first sight (I experienced it) and the complete obsessive nature of love - I feel it.  I am only happly when he is near, can only find peace when he is near.  Our 28th wedding anniversay is next week and, if I survive, we will make to 50.  If there is one thing our teenage children get, it is that you can be in love for a lifetime with the right person. 

The family is usually generous with me in regards to my fanfic addiction.

Cheers, Elley from Australia

p.s.  Eric is for Mr Northman from Trueblood.



Author's Response:

I am so incredibly touched by your review, and your honesty and how much you have shared with me.  Thank you, truly, from the depths of my heart.

It is no accident that I chose to study Psychology in university; a part of me was trying to save myself, as well as a few close friends.  Born to a bipolar abusive mother and a depressive father, I started life with a bad gene pool that had expressed itself fully by age 8.  Most of the issues faced by the characters in the story, not quite all, are things I have experienced and lived through first hand or have watched someone close to me endure.  I try very hard to be honest in writing these characters - and if that means they act foolishly or irrationally, it must be that way; such is the nature of mental illness, particularly mood disorders. 

Such is grief, as well. I've had one person tell me that people being angry with Bella over what happened to Rachel isn't realistic; I say, grief can be just as irrational.  We'll blame ourselves for something small we said when someone commits suicide, or blame the doctors for not finding the cancer on time or many other things.  "If only Bella wasn't drunk!  If only Jake had made her get help sooner!"  If only, if only... 

I found that special love last October; I changed workplaces and on my first day of training, we met.  I'd given up on love after bad relationships, but I couldn't tear myself away from him.  He said he knew he loved me in the first five minutes.  I believe him now.  Like you, I think of him as a reward for a life full of bad turns and abuses from family, lovers and so-called friends. 

I will wish, with all of my heart, that you survive, and thrive, for a very long time with your love.  You deserve it.  I lost my grandfather to multiple cancers two years ago at 69, and I will always miss him and the amazing love he and my grandmother had (they met young, were engaged in 3 weeks, and soulmates absolutely).

Readers like you, who touch me with their stories, are why I write this tale, even when it rubs me emotionally raw. 

xoxo Amber

Reviewer: twistedbytwilight (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2010 04:20 PM · On: Chapter 23

I effing love Ronan.  Almost as much as Edward.  *sacrilege, I know* When he tells Bella that Edward "deserves to know why he just started a war with a man who could bench press his ass," my eyes widened and I almost cheered.  He is such a strong friend to both of them.

I feel for these kids.  I cannot imagine that Edward would leave Bella when he finds out the truth, but the fact that she is paralyzed by that fear is just heartbreaking.

Love this story and the complexity of the characters!



Author's Response:

I seriously adore him too, and wish he was real.  My fiance would be in trouble, let me tell you!  Ronan is such a tremendous friend, and incredibly loyal.  When we hit chapter 25, you'll see how his balancing act between his friendships at La Push and his love of Bella is pretty damn awesome, considering he knew the Quileutes a lot longer.  He's been her only good friend for over a year.

I have been where Bella is, and it's hard to believe any reassurances.  My past wasn't of the same nature as hers, but to speak of it was just as scary.  And I have had people leave over some of it, so I relate to her fears.  It's very easy to write in her shoes.

Thank you so much for sticking around <3

Reviewer: readergoof (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2010 04:17 PM · On: Chapter 23

tense

Reviewer: craving2read (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2010 04:38 AM · On: Chapter 13

LOL - "I highly recommend that you mothers go grab a tea for a few hours." That's a funny thought....if dead people can see us when we're having sex...um, ugh. Yea, please go have some tea for a few hours, or something. What goes on behind the bedroom door, stays behind the bedroom door! It's locked for a reason! Ha ha ha ha.

What a big turn around from the beginning of this chapter, to the end. Whiplashward really keeps Bella on her toes.

Reviewer: craving2read (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2010 04:15 AM · On: Chapter 12

"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." - and it's Hell on those who are left behind.  Nice writing of showing this from APOV.

Reviewer: craving2read (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2010 03:57 AM · On: Chapter 11

Wow. This chapter. Yeah. You understand the pain, and even more, you can explain it to others.  Bella's pain. Edward's pain. Jessica's pain. Your words were deep and true and very real life.

Having Edward...finally get it...and then to help change the funeral to actually help others feel Jessica - terrific job writing that.

 

Reviewer: roxnroll (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2010 05:48 PM · On: Chapter 23

I"m still thinking that it was an accident, obviously a horrible one, but one that they will continue to blame her for.

I can't wait to find out.

Rox



Author's Response:

You're on the right track... But remember:  an event is in the eye of the beholder.  Just as Edward thought he was to blame for Liz's suicide from his view, La Push sees things one way, Bella another, Charlie even another...

Reviewer: Shonla (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2010 05:33 PM · On: Chapter 23

Well Sam is an ass. Can't wait to find out what really happened. Ronan should be upset Bella should have not gone there but @ the same time why is he still friends with Sam anyway. And I don't what Edward can do that will get Bella to open up. Great chapter.

Author's Response:

Ronan is in a bad spot.  He's known the La Push crew since before he knew Bella, so he's tried, like Charlie, to walk the line and be Switzerland.  He can't be, not now.

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