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Reviewer: freefelli (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2010 07:07 AM · On: Chapter 26

I don't know what to say, I simply can't belive that Edward left Bella when she needed his love the most, the one time she put all her armour down and told him about her guilt he just left her!!

Arggh I'm so upset. Edward is acting very very selfish, despite his own demons he should be able to at least stay with Bella when she begs him and tells him she can't do it alone. He told her that he loves her and yet when she breaks instead of helping her he leavs. The worst part is that Bella doesn't understand what an idiot he is, instead she takes all the blame.

It's a well written chapter and despite Edward acting like selfish narcisistic idiot I really liked it because it doesn't leave you unaffected. F

Author's Response:

He is, without question, a jerk for running out on her there.  Ideally, because I have sympathy for his issues, he should have walked her home, and said, "My own shit's messing my head.  I need alone time. Love you." and then bailed.  But Edward has an extensive history of avoiding emotional conflicts (see: chapter 5 when talking to Carlisle is too much; see him avoiding Alice after his suicide attempt because he was afraid of her being angry at him). 

He's not heartless, and has improved enough to know that he is being awful to leave her alone;  it's why he sent Alice immediately.  It was his "meeting halfway" between knowing in his heart he should have stayed, but his own issues driving him crazy.  Old Edward would have just left. 

He is a total bastard right now, and all I want is for everyone to aim the pitchfork at HIM, not me.  He has some growing and learning to do and in the next chapter, he's going to be told that.  A lot.

Reviewer: Ingenuity15 (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2010 06:35 AM · On: Chapter 26

Honestly, I understand where he was coming from and I understand her part of it too. I wouldn't change a thing about the way you wrote these chapters, although I did do some crying haha. I really can't wait to see how Alice handles the whole situation and I hope Edward and Bella come out all the stronger from this. Although, I can definitely see Bella having a lot more trust issues seeing as how he said he'd never leave her and then he did. Two steps forward and three giant steps back it would seem. Please post the next chapter ASAP!


Author's Response:

I got sniffly writing it, especially when Alice cares for Bella.  She is fuckawesome. 

Anyone who knows me and how I write knows that I like a lot of angst and conflict, but also, a happy-ish ever after at bare minimum.  But Edward needs to grow up now, and Bella also needs to love herself first and not base her self-worth on what others think and do.  They're both at a crossroads.

Reviewer: Leenf (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2010 04:13 AM · On: Chapter 26

wow this was very very very very good keep up the fantrastic work and post soon

bye bye

Reviewer: HopeStreet (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2010 02:17 AM · On: Chapter 26

He abandoned her in the forest!  I cannot forgive him for that.  She knew - she didn't want to tell him - she knew his reaction would confirm every bad thought she's held against herself - she knew his reaction would confirm and reaffirm the Quilettes' distain for her.  She took a chance and put herself out there and Edward just failed her.  I know he has his own issues, but isn't he the strongest of the two at this time?  Bella isn't the one who drove drunk and killed Tanya that night, although what Bella did was about equal to that.  I feel for Bella.  There was so much damage inflicted in Edward's one action.  He may as well start thinking about the design of his next tattoo.

Author's Response:

He absolutely, 110% failed her.  But Carlisle warned him, didn't he, that he was a broken person and perhaps should be careful about a relationship with a fragile woman?  This is why, and this is something I have seen happen in relationships where both parties are not in a good place.

Edward is maybe stronger in the sense he won't try and kill himself again, but he has bottled years of trauma and regrets, including Tanya, and he was so raw when Bella told him, that he retreated.  He's done this before (chapter 5) and he always does it when there's emotional conflict around.  He couldn't handle the pain of Tanya and push it down to help Bella.

But he knew he was being a dick; it's why he sent Alice.  He loves Bella, so much, but he overloaded. 

Bella is definitely the one I'm sympathetic to, and I love Alice so much.  Chapter 27 will see Edward getting a taste of pixie...

Reviewer: beth cullen (Signed) · Date: September 21, 2010 03:25 PM · On: Chapter 6

Sorry sweetie, no twitter for me. But I am loving your chapters!! Thanks for writing!!!

Reviewer: beth cullen (Signed) · Date: September 21, 2010 03:13 PM · On: Chapter 5

Love it love it! Great lemons. Very intense!!

Reviewer: beth cullen (Signed) · Date: September 21, 2010 02:59 PM · On: Chapter 4

Back too soon. Really hooked on this story!! Want more details on backstories. Sure they're to come. Can't wait!!

Reviewer: beth cullen (Signed) · Date: September 21, 2010 01:53 PM · On: Chapter 3

I like your questions at the end. Makes me even more pensive. I zone out anywhere, especially right now. Lots of health issues in my family. One with cancer. One in rehab. Worried about both. I have a hard time concentrating on the schoolwork staring over my shoulder, which is why I'm here and not working. Bad girl... Now that I've fessed up, I'll get back to work for a bit, but I promise to come back for a break soon. If I were to pick one place I go to process it would be my car. Quiet or rockin depending on my mood. There's lots of deserted streets round here, especially in the off season when I can drive around and think. Really liking your story. Thanks for writing!

Author's Response:

I completely relate and have been there, with sick family on all sides and my own health on top, trying to stay afloat with the day to day and not snap.  Driving is good therapy; I wish I knew how.  I have to get others to take me out sometimes to keep me sane.  Hang in there, and I'm so glad you're enjoying the story so far.  It's at a good point to jump in, since I've let almost all of the backstory cats out of their bags now. 

Reviewer: beth cullen (Signed) · Date: September 21, 2010 01:40 PM · On: Chapter 2

Great follow up chapter. I can totally see the difficulty with extending such an awesome oneshot, but you do well. No tatts or piercings yet. My hubby has our anniversary + a couple more so it's out of the question. I just haven't found the forever image yet. We'll see. Doesn't mean I don't really really like his. :)

Reviewer: beth cullen (Signed) · Date: September 21, 2010 01:28 PM · On: Chapter 1

I've had you on favorites for a while but haven't had the time to read. Really enjoyed this chapter and the idea. Thanks for writing!!

Reviewer: freefelli (Signed) · Date: September 17, 2010 05:52 PM · On: Chapter 25

I've read and re-read this chapter. I was too sad to review the first time so I thought I would wait a while and then review. As it turns out I was just as sad the second time I read it=). So now I'm sitting here with my tears and the only thing I can say is WOW. You've captured Bella's kaleidoscope of emotions perfectly. Her sadness. Her pain. Her guilt. Simply perfect and beautiful.


Reviewer: freefelli (Signed) · Date: September 17, 2010 05:28 PM · On: Chapter 24

I really liked that there was a link to the song inside the chapter, thank you for that and thank you for sharing your story. And for the first time I actually liked Rosalie, probably because we got too see more than her shell and armour.


Reviewer: freefelli (Signed) · Date: September 17, 2010 05:17 PM · On: Chapter 23

“How do I save you, Bella?”

This. This love is utterly beautiful.

Sometimes I really wonder if it's even possible to save another person, but then again without that hope, the hope that things will get better, there's no meaning at all.

I feel Edwards despaire and it's heartbreaking. I recognize Bella's guilt as it drowns her and it nearly drowns me since I'm far more invested in this story than what's probably normal. I understand Ronans anger and although I think it's jusified and it is nessesary, I think that he should have chosen another time to tell her beacuse in that state she's already in to much pain.

“How do I save you, Bella?” This line is one of my favorite lines in this story. It's heartbreakingly beautiful and it's the very essence of this story.

Reviewer: ladyjumana (Signed) · Date: September 17, 2010 12:19 PM · On: Chapter 25

A lot makes sense now. I knew that Rachel's death was an accident, but couldn't decide exactly what could have happened to make Bella feel so guilty. Well done.

Reviewer: MissDarkAngel (Signed) · Date: September 17, 2010 06:33 AM · On: Chapter 25

Damn... So much is going through my mind right now (since yesterday...).

I love Rosalie, this is about the first story I have read, where I really like her... You expect her to be a total bitch and tell only half the story (that she thinks Bella is cheating), but then the tells a very personal story and her new conclusion.

As to Bella's blame, I'm torn up... She did a really stupid thing, drunk and trying shrooms... But she never intended this to happen... She should have made Rachel stay home, or take her home before she went to the cliffs, but the fact that both fell, was never supposed to happen...

I'm soooo curious to find out what else happens, and how Edward thinks about Bella after se told him this.

As to your writing, I love it... But love it doesn't even start to explain how I feel.... Words can't discribe (or is that just the languagebarrier, as English isn't my native language? LOL)
There is a small but, eventhough that might just be my feeling...
Somehow I feel like the beginnings of the last few chapters are written from a different point of view than when you get further into the chapter...
Like in a different point in time... Damn, that's hard to explain when you don't know the right term for it in English...
If I think of a better explanation, I'll let you know....

Author's Response:

Well, for the last few, it's been a time shift in a sense...  23 backed up a bit before the end of the last chapter to show "in the meantime" before having Edward and Ronan save Bella's butt.  24 travels across a stretch of two days.  25 is jarring I think because Bella starts angry and drunk, then trips out - and as her mind deteriorates under the drugs, I write her thoughts to match.  Does that maybe catch what you mean?

I've always known that Rosalie would turn out to be really decent underneath, so as people have called her a bitch, screamed at her, etc, I've been all "She gets better!!  She does!!!"  I think in the actual books, it's hard to see why Emmett loves her, so I captured that here. 

I don't think there's any black or white on Bella and if she is to blame;  I think she is to blame to some level.  It's a mess.  But she is definitely sorry, either way.  Rachel was special to her (it's why I took so much time at first showing that they were close).

Reviewer: Kisster (Signed) · Date: September 17, 2010 04:26 AM · On: Chapter 25

Yikes! I can see how Bella could feel guilty, but really it was just a horrible, tragic accident. Yes, Bella was messed up but she didn't kill Rachel. I think Edward will tell her just that.

Reviewer: belachia (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 04:09 PM · On: Chapter 25

as much as i knew what happened with Rachel, i didn't want to allow my brain to follow that thought pattern.  bella's definitely going to feel some guilt for her role in this, but i think most of it comes from the reaction from jacob and company...i loyally await the next chapter...can't wait to see the aftermath and edwards reaction to bella's story, i hope he doesn't flip, as you've written him to be understanding

Reviewer: Bella_Cullen884 (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 02:28 PM · On: Chapter 25

I know that Bella has to be feeling immense guilt for what happened. I know I would.

I don't think that Edward will respond too harshly. He might tell her it was an accident, but I don't think he'll get angry with her.

Looking forward to your next update!

Reviewer: vabeachgal (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 02:19 PM · On: Chapter 25

Loving this story.  Sad as it is, though. Really want Edward and Bella to come clean with each other.  Time will tell I guess.  Keep up the great work! 

Reviewer: edwardfan1 (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 01:36 PM · On: Chapter 25

I'm sorry I haven't reviewed more.  I love your story, have read every word, it's absolutely excellent.  Thank you so much for sharing it.  I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapter.


Reviewer: DrSnuggles (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 12:27 PM · On: Chapter 25

you knooooooow i lurve you right? Well, I'm getting bored of writing the same ol' shit.... so here goes, something a bit more creative, i hope! not even gonna say love it cos u know i do! liked how we finally got to know what really happened, tho we, well i atleast, had a pretty good idea, but good al the same :) lookin6g forward to E's rection! which of course will , that it's not her fault. well not entirely anyway. just like he isn't responsible for Tanya's -it's just the ripple effect. can see, and unerstand the la push reaction tho, understan it too. we all need someone to blame, and we all blame ourselves. Glad there's no real B/E angst tonite...enough ***** done tonite. Love that you "dare" write this story! see ya on Twitter :)

Reviewer: trixie cullen (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 12:22 PM · On: Chapter 25

This chapter was very well written. You can understand wny Bella did what she did and got high, but you can also see why the Quiluete are so angry with her. 

I am curious how Edward is going to handle it, if he will become angry with Bella or help her to address the pain.

Reviewer: Leenf (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 12:08 PM · On: Chapter 25

post soon


Reviewer: madzee (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 09:18 AM · On: Chapter 25

wow...pretty heavy stuff

too much angst for these two!

Author's Response:

I know,right?  I feel awful for how much they've had to endure.  But I just tell the story the characters give me...

Reviewer: mayriss (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2010 08:33 AM · On: Chapter 25

I feel like bella should feel guilty...but i feel bad for thinking that.  She deserves to move on with her life, though.  Great chapter! This story is really moving for me, even though i don't have any experiences close to what Bella and edward are going through/have gone through. great job...can't wait for the next update 

Author's Response:

A part of me agrees that she should feel a good sense of responsibility for it - BUT she should make amends and atone by healing FOR rachel and living a life in her honour.

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