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Reviews For North Star Rising
Reviewer: 30somethingmom (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2009 05:52 AM · On: 14: Partial Truths

Really enjoying your story. I hope that your are able to update more often.



Author's Response:

You made it all the way through!  Thank you and I applaud you!  I am very surely 100 pecent going to update more often!  No more two month waits for me!

Reviewer: Venus_Star2_com (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2009 05:45 AM · On: 14: Partial Truths

I really loved the orignal plot !!! a lot of though and detail went into this and I love it.........please please please update soon

 

 

more edward/bella moments please

 

charlie ...hahhaha poor guy



Author's Response:

More Edward and Bella?  Your wish, my command madam!  Coming up in the next chapter...

Thank you so much for the kind words.  Review push me more than I ever thought that they would!

Reviewer: 30somethingmom (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2009 05:12 AM · On: 11: Revelation

OMG!!!! LOVE IT!!!! I absolutely love the fact that he heard her thoughts while they were making love. What a connection!!!!



Author's Response:

Thank you!  I thought that after so much struggle and sacrifice to be together, they deserved a little bit of a connection, right?

Thank you so much for reading!

Reviewer: mandee81 (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2009 03:22 AM · On: 14: Partial Truths

yay!! your back!! and it was worth the wait!  very good chapter, i love charlie!!!  my favorite was when he asked edward if he was a werewolf!! hahaha!! good stuff! Edwards response was classic!  welcome back and i am so excited that you are going to update more!



Author's Response:

mandee, thank you so much for your prompting and encouragement!  I'm so sorry to have made you wait so long, but I'm on the ball now!

That was my favorite part too!  I'm so glad you liked that!  Next one will be up SOOOO much sooner,  I promise!

Reviewer: GeneralGem (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2009 02:26 AM · On: 14: Partial Truths

OMG this is so exciting, nearly falling off my chair from the suspense, heheh!

Ur doing so well. Kepp updating, really whenever you like, but for the readers, lol we would love u 2 update everyday, but no pressure, hehehe

Gem



Author's Response:

Thank you for holding on this long!  It gets so much better, I promise, and I'm will not be forcing any more two month waits on anyone!  Every day...now that's a bit difficult, but I love the eagerness!  Thanks!

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2009 01:47 AM · On: 14: Partial Truths

Thank you so much for the love and recommendation!  

I really enjoyed how you turned this would be tense chapter into something humorous using Charlie's stuttering and stammering his way through on of the "best stories" Charlie would ever have, Quil's quirky quips and Bella's sarcastic inner and outer dialogue.

I love the description Billy gives of Charlie's attempts at heroism.  Hilarious. I giggled and tittered my way through this passage:

"That's it.  I can't take anything more today," he insisted, ushering Seth and Sam toward the door with one hand, and clamping the other firmly onto my shoulder.  "This whole town's full of werewolves.  The town doctor knows how to treat them, and my only daughter has been hanging around with them since she got here.  What's next?" 

He turned to Edward, his voice sarcastic.  "Are you going to tell me that you're a werewolf too?"

Edward's eyebrows raised in amusement.  He barely hid the laughter that threatened to destroy his game face as he stared as earnestly as possible back at Charlie. 

"No, sir.  I am most definitely not a werewolf."

Edward's silent discussion with Sam while him and Bella fetch their bags for the sleepover was also very well done.  I can feel Edward's tension and I heard the snap of the suitcase handle.  

Great job Mary!!!  Can't wait to get my hands on 14!

 

 

 



Author's Response:

(grinning from ear to ear!)

Honestly, this was the first chapter of anything I've ever sent in to be beta'd and I'm SOOO glad I did. 

Kari, your suggestions and your remarks made my day three times over, and you review somehow managed to do it again!  I am hopelessly addicted to Broken Doll, and my recommendation should have come SOOO much earlier!  Unfortunately, I am the slowest reader alive, and so it comes in unlucky number 13!

Hope that doesn't really mean anything!

(still thinking that I should have made Charlie react more now...wink wink!)

Reviewer: goldenmeadow (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2009 02:16 PM · On: 1: Communication

Hey there.  Hanging around with ever-fabulous Kari alerted me to your stories.  Purgatory looks like the most stimulating web of Hades in creation, but I'm not certain it's my cuppa at the moment, so I decided to start here.

So glad I did!  Superbly written and absolutely innovative with regards to the crux of Edward's fears on turning Bella.

Neophyte is such litling roll-off-the-tongue word, the scene is the meadow in my mind, Edward and Bella's beginning interplay interesting and exciting to read.

Thank you.  I feel I've been choking on some serious drivel lately.  I needed this!



Author's Response:

goldenmeadow, I'm going to take this as such a compliment considering the amount of recs I've seen Dead Confederates get!

If you write your stories that same way you write your reviews and you threads, I think that I'm really going to have fun reading it.  You sound like you've got a casual, carefree almost southern way about your writing!  Am I off?  If I am I apologize, but if not, I can see it fitting perfectly with the summary of your latest fic!  Looking forward to it!

And thank you soo much for following Kari's recs (she's hard to resist sometimes, isn't she?)!  I'm honored that you like it! 

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2009 07:24 AM · On: 13: Home

"All right," I began in an admonishing tone, hoping that a tension breaker was possible in this situation.  "Which one of the wolves fell in love with a poodle?"

Nice!  That line made me snort n' titter. 

The next line made me smile ruefully.  When you read my chapter 13 of Broken Doll you will see why.  ;)

"You...you knew about all this?" His face was an array of colors.  I silently waited for him to grab his chest and collapse at any moment.    

WHAT?!?  NO BRIGHT RED NEXT FOR ME TO CLICK?!  ~wrings hands~  

Loved this chapter, the tension was a tightly wound drum punctuated and broken ith Bella's sarcasm and laid back attitude with being surrounded by the supernaturals for so long.

Can't wait to get Beta this!!!!  ~happy Alice dance~

 

 

 



Author's Response:

You know, I must admit, I thought everyone would think that the poodle line would be corny, but it seems to be a favorite.  Life's little unexpected perks!

NO FAIR,KARI!  You can't compare a quote and tell me that I'll laugh when I read a chapter that HASN'T COME OUT YET!!!  That was sooo cruel!

I felt the same way at chapter 11 of Broken Doll...no red next?

Thank you SOOO much!  I'm sending you the next chapter today!  Hope you're ready ~nervous crooked smile (not near as sexy as Edward's!)

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2009 06:40 AM · On: 12: Deadline

I really love the comparison Bella makes to experiencing the heights of passion and pleasure with Edward to her forays into being an adrenaline junkie.  The dangerous acts leading possibly to death.    It's also interesting to note that the power of orgasm is often compared to as "the little death". Death and Sex. Hand in hand.  Lovely tie in with your dialogue and inner workings of the minds of these two.  I'm really impressed.

The date and reasons behind it are so Edward.  Very good call.  



Author's Response:

Le petit mort!  Oh thank you so much for clearing that up!  I've had a friend in my department that uses that saying constantly and I've never understood what he was refering to!

Yes, I suppose that the only things that I've ever been able to compare really good sex to has always been a near death experiance.  Could be why I'm an adrenaline junkie!

Do you think that Bella would be able to accept four months as a newlywed without sex?  That had been by biggest doubt in this whole story so far!

Did I tell you exactly how much you've helped me...Really, you are motivation in it's purest form!

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2009 06:26 AM · On: 5: Eternity

5 stars!



Author's Response:

4 moons, 2 clovers, and one blue diamond!

Thank you so much Kari!  I just read up on the ratings.  I promise I will use them from now on!

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2009 06:25 AM · On: 4: Sisters

RRRRRAAAAATING!



Author's Response:

I don't understand about the ratings!  Guilty...I never rated yours!  I didn't even know it existed!

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2009 06:25 AM · On: 1: Communication

This needs a rating!!!!

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2009 04:23 AM · On: 11: Revelation

" Edward! What is..."

"I heard your thoughts," he said smoothly, quietly.  That stopped me in my tracks. 

"You...what?"

"When I was making love to you..." He looked away, out into the sunlight that was slowly creeping toward us through the salon window. "I heard what you were thinking."

WOW!  That's a nice twist and what an amazing presentation of it!  Beautiful cliff hanger.  

 

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2009 03:13 AM · On: 10: El Huerto de la Niebla

Of course their honeymoon would be in Spain! ; )

Beautiful.  You did a real great job on gravitating away from Isle Esme and seamlessly offering up Spain in the guise of Carmen and Eleazer.  Fabulous.

This description caught my breath with it's descriptive beauty.  Well done!

"It was astonishing.  I was speechless as I stared out at the glistening water that reflected calmly in the light of the moon.  The balcony hung impossibly far out over the edge of the cliff, and from somewhere far below us, I could hear the rush of the waves shattering against the rocks below, turning into a calming mist that drifted on the sea breeze and brought the briny smell of the Mediterranean to us far above."

 

      

 



Author's Response:

Ha! You caught me!  I will always drift back to my home!  Dont we all?

I'm so happy you thought Spain was convincing. Isle Esme was incredibly strong in the books, and I was afraid of the backlash in choosing a country that once had the saying :The sun never set's in Spain" attached to it.  Not exactly a vampires forte!

 

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2009 02:55 AM · On: 9: Goodbyes

You are IN these characters' heads girl.  Like seriously in their head, looking out with their eyes.  The imagery is so vivid, I can picture the lights fading as they drive away in the car, I can see Emmett grin like a creeptastic, gorgeous chesire cat at the blushing Jess, I can hear the leather squeak as Edward tightens his hand on the steering wheel when remembering Jacob's reaction to almost killing Bella.

So vivid.  You are gifted.

 

 

 

 



Author's Response:

I really do love Emmett's grin in this.  He is so wonderful to play with!  I think you are giving it the sound effects though, and that is a bloody wonderful idea!  I should go back and add sound!

And that's the reason you are a great beta!  Thank you!

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 10, 2009 05:12 PM · On: 8: Inevitable

Wow.  Intense. 

This chapter was just...so vivid and tension filled.

Bella is very brave.  Not to mention lucky!  

 



Author's Response:

Wow!  Always the optimist.  I love that.

I've always thought that Bella was a little brainless in these situations, but I suppose I may have been the same way!

Thank you so much for reviewing...and rating all of my chapters!  I'm sorry it took so long to respond!

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 10, 2009 04:54 PM · On: 7: In-laws

What a beautiful way to begin this chapter. So heroic in the simplest of gestures. Comfort. Support. LOVE;

"And then Edward was there.  His arms filled the empty space around me that Jacob had just left.  His sweet breath entranced me as he whispered into my ear."  

I loved the dancing with all the men in her life bits.  Especially the scene with Charlie.

oooooh!  Trouble's a brewin'!  Nice cliffie!

 

 



Author's Response:

I do occasionally attempt a cliffie, though no one does cliffie like Miss RowanMoon!

I have such a weakness for the fluffy moments...and for weddings.  What can I say?  I had to write as much as I could!

 

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 10, 2009 04:39 PM · On: 6: Blessing

"My smile could not have been more opposite his.  It widened impossibly as I flung my arms around his shoulders, the white lilies of my bouquet smashing into the back of his head and filling his hair with petals.   "You came right on time!"  I laughed into his lapel. "They're just about to bring out the food!" He chuckled quietly."

Pure gold. The flowers hitting him in the back of the head was visually a perfect Jacob and Bella moment.

"He took a deep, slow breath and began again. "While I was running, I was thinking about how stupid I was...how selfish to be in love with you, and to want you to love me back, when I could find that girl that I'm supposed to be with, and imprint on her at any moment.  Where would that leave you?" "

Igzackly!  I've always thought about that too. Very smart to point that out!  

This reunion between Jacob and Bella was bittersweet and fraught with just the right amount of angsty Jake.  You portrayed the physicality of him perfectly.

I really enjoyed this chapter.

 

 

 

 



Author's Response:

I've always associated Jacob with just the slightest bit of chaos so the flowers fit him perfectly.  I'm so glad you noticed that!

Thank you so much for this one, Kari.  After the Jake that you gave us with Broken Doll, I'm taking it as an extreme compliment that you think that I did him well!

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 10, 2009 03:56 PM · On: 5: Eternity

"They were the most breath taking vows I had ever heard.  He continued, slipping the ring onto my shaking finger.

"I love you, Bella-and those three words have my life in them." "

Indeed!  This whole wedding scene was beautifully rendered. The whisperings of the would be husband to his would be bride were truly sweet. So very Edward.

And this was just..brills;

"He wasn't done. "And I will love you, always." 

I stared up into his eyes waiting for Alice or Jasper to fill me in on the origins of the last quote.  Edward's crooked smile appeared, and the urge to reach for him, to fold into his arms and kiss his luscious lips had never been so irresistible. 

"Bon Jovi,"  he confessed only to me, sounding slightly embarrassed. I stifled a laugh...and a sob. "

Nicely done.  I love this version of the wedding.  The whispering, the vows, it's all golden.

 

 

 

 

 



Author's Response:

Oh thank you, thank you! 

I was actually pretty happy that I'm an obsessive quote keeper for this one, but I was afraid that it may be a little too fluffy!  I'm so glad that you liked it!  I swear that if I ever get married (again) I will have to use some of them!

It is occuring to me now just exactly how far behind I have fallen in responding to you!  I'm so sorry Kari!  Please don't be mad at me for flooding you inbox with author response notes! 

Reviewer: Dave Cullen (Signed) · Date: June 10, 2009 03:55 PM · On: 13: Home

Absolutely *loving* it. I think, as of now, this story only has one more chapter.

Pleeeeeeease continue!



Author's Response:

Dave, Thank you so much!  I'm sending in the next chapter to be beta'd today.  It should be out by Sunday or so! 

One of the whole three or so males on Twilighted read my story!  I'm thrilled!!!

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 10, 2009 03:24 PM · On: 4: Sisters

These touching family moments in this most traditional of ceremonies was truly lovely. Endearing!  The melting of the Ice Queen Rosalie.  The bouncy delight that is Alice. The doting proud emotionally wracked Charlie.  

And Bella!  So canon...but, a little more relatable? I think it's the humor.  It makes me want to ask you if you are really SM just doing an alternate version of the book that disappointed fans across the globe.

Hmmmmm?  

; )



Author's Response:

You got me!  But actually, my plan is to only do about 300 pages of the AU as well, and then say that somebody leaked it and just stop working on it! (But don't tell anyone!  I'm incognito as a foreigner, and I think they're falling for it!)

I'm kidding!  I promise to finish.  I promise, I do!

Thank you so much for motivating me to!

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 10, 2009 03:14 PM · On: 3: Bridesmaids

Bella's referral to being kidnapped, assaulted and tortured by Alice and Rose in preparation for her wedding day was all win.  Perfectly sarcastic Bella charm. She hates the fussin' and mussin' so much! 

Quotes like this make me smile;

"What's so bad about dark circles?" I had asked sarcastically.  "You all have them, and you're the most beautiful family in Forks."    

Nice use of Angela.  Her insight on Bella and Edward getting married was so true to character. 

Fabulous turn of phrase;

"Don't worry, Bella.  You're going to live happily ever after.  That's almost always what happens with Prince Charmings!"  And she slipped out the door.

  I smiled and silently hoped that it was also what happened with Count Draculas."

 

 

 

 



Author's Response:

He he!  I see that you have the same talent for picking out MY favorite lines!  I'm still hoping that Twilight put dark circles in fashion!

Thank you for the comment on Alice's kidnapping.  I was afraid that the assault with a deadly eyeliner was going to be a little too cliche, but hey...I'm canon!  Everything is cliche, right?

I'm going to delve into Bil and Ted mode here, and just say that "You are excellent!"

Truly!

Reviewer: RowanMoon (Signed) · Date: June 10, 2009 02:58 PM · On: 2: Final Decision

Such expressive language in your stories. So easy to picture with your sumptuous languid prose.  I especially adore this scene.  Your Edward is a scintillating seducer.

"My heart announced my pleasure to anyone near us.  It seemed as if it were beating loud enough to hear in Forks.  He pressed his cheek against my heart and listened carefully, running his hand down slowly down the side of my body, tracing the line of my shoulder...the inside of my arm...my waist, finally coming to a stop in the curve of my hip.  He seemed to be enjoying the changes in the rhythm of my heartbeat that his explorations produced."     

Your dialogue?  Perfection. Heartfelt. Emotion rendering. Canon!  This is no he said she said.  I felt like a spectator. I could see facial movements, feel the mood, and in my minds ear, listen to the changes in volume and tone in their voices.  This was a very emotional conversation.  You pulled the ache and the beauty together with seamless ease.

~clicks next~

 



Author's Response:

"sumptuous, languid, scintillating..."  You know where those words are going, right?  Let's just say, don't be surprised if you come across them at one point while betaing!

Kari, I can't tell you how much I love your reviews...I think I have already used all the word in my vocab to try, though, so I'll just say that you are one of the most unique people that I've (not) met, and you brighten every day a little for me!  Thank you so much for that!

Reviewer: juliet233 (Signed) · Date: June 05, 2009 07:06 PM · On: 13: Home

Best. Line. Ever. : “All right,” I began in an admonishing tone, hoping that a tension breaker was possible in this situation.  “Which one of the wolves fell in love with a poodle?”

Seriously, I love that.  Poor Charlie for having the existence of werewolves sprung on him like that, though.  And Sam's comment there definitely seems to spell out a lot of trouble in the near future...



Author's Response:

eeek!  What comment?  I see no comment! (I'm going to have to change the ending of this chapter to make it fit with the next one!)  sIlly me, I really should have outlined it better before I put it up.  I'm so sorry, but now you know a little piece of spoiler for the next chapter!

Juliet, did I ever tell you how grateful I am for you and all of you reviews?  Because I am...I really REALLY am!  You are really awesome!

Reviewer: juliet233 (Signed) · Date: June 05, 2009 06:59 PM · On: 12: Deadline

*giggles*: “I love you,” I sighed resignedly, and then added, “Damn it.”

I love that!  And I'm glad that seeing Bella's thoughts has made Edward realize that they really are supposed to be together forever and he's apparently okay with changing her now :)



Author's Response:

Yeah...that is a bit quick though, isn't it? 

I must actually thank you for helping me see that!  I think that may be one of my touch ups!  I don't know if that was intentional, but really...thank you!

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