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Reviewer: Kendra (Signed) · Date: March 15, 2012 05:18 PM · On: Several Levels

Loving all of E's inner voice comming out into the journal entries.  I think it is spectacularly spot on. 

Reviewer: Kendra (Signed) · Date: March 15, 2012 02:12 PM · On: The Best Policy

I really didn't think that I would like this story after reading the description.  It just didn't sound that interesting.  I'm very glad I started reading anyway, because it is romantic, engaging, and believable.  I look foreward to reading  more.

Reviewer: Queendel (Signed) · Date: January 15, 2011 12:58 PM · On: Bonfire of the Vampires

Great update.  I love this chapter.  This Edward was decisive and I find their solution to the James and Victoria problem quite simple, realistic and in keeping with their basic nature - protect and defend what is theirs. 

 I love this alternative to the sage.  Even with Edward reading Bella's thoughts, life is still interesting. Also I like the honesty, communicaton between Edward and Bella and his willingness to let Bella be independent.

  And best of all Bella is not protrayed as a whinny, vicitim with low self-esteem, and Edward as a pathetic, over protective, controlling, angsty teen.

Reviewer: aechorp (Signed) · Date: December 15, 2010 10:20 PM · On: Nothing Says High School

Awsome!!!

Reviewer: aechorp (Signed) · Date: December 15, 2010 05:45 PM · On: First Sight

What a great start. Is the story finished? I decided to read it anyway but it will be hard if I find out it isn't done at the end;)

Reviewer: elegantbonz (Signed) · Date: November 30, 2010 05:21 PM · On: Several Levels

go spelunking for condums.....screammmmm

 

el

Reviewer: elegantbonz (Signed) · Date: November 30, 2010 12:11 PM · On: Several Levels

omg little girl...your story is the  most delicious I have ever read..and I have read tons...I realize that I found you late..11/29/10  you were recommended by becalsye (?) and I started you last night...i could barely tear my self away after 5 chapters. I think i reread each chapter..and I could read..reread..then start a paragraph over again and giggle and moan and squirm in my chair as I re-read it again...I also laugh aloud to my husbands bewilderment....

 you have a smooth easy flowing style that immediately catches the mind with evolving mental pictures ..your premise is so different from every other

canon writer of twighlite....oooohhhhh...but you are good...so very good...

and I cant wait to get home from work and start from the beginning and catch every nuance.......If you write any other Twilight you have a devoted follower of your  muse.....

 I am the proud 429th reviewer of Saraliz

          elegantbonz

 

 

ca

Reviewer: TraciSnow (Signed) · Date: July 16, 2010 10:51 PM · On: His Cake

I LOVE this story! It is so different than any other fanfics where Edward is a vampire. Even when they end up together the first day, this is the ONLY story where I can recall him being able to hear Bella's thoughts. I have noticed that the last time the story was updated was months ago. I'm really hoping you will be finishing this story. Thanks again!

Reviewer: pennycocktail (Signed) · Date: June 17, 2010 11:30 PM · On: The End of The Beginning

How cool that you are planning many more chapters!!  Am really looking forward to those chapters...

Reviewer: pennycocktail (Signed) · Date: June 17, 2010 11:01 PM · On: The End of The Beginning

Bella shouldn't be worrying about her bikini line, she should worry about her landing strip... it's kind of nasty to think of her as being overgrown...

Reviewer: pennycocktail (Signed) · Date: June 17, 2010 07:30 PM · On: Bonfire of the Vampires

I'm likin' the way you write Charlie, SM always made him seem like such a d-bag.  And speaking of SM, it's too bad she couldn't write as well as you do.  Granted, she imagined some really interesting characters in a really interesting world, but technically, her writing sucks... such fontrum.  Wish they'd make a film based on your interpretation of the book.  Would love to see RPattz and KStew in that film... it would be amazing.  

So, this is a great effort, and I hope you'll write more about Bella and the Cullens.  BTW, what's going on with Edward's platinum chain... will it show up soon? 

 

Reviewer: pennycocktail (Signed) · Date: June 16, 2010 10:11 PM · On: Integrity, Courage, Perpetuity

You explained away the fact that she didn't bleed when they initially had sex, but it seems unlikely that the use of a vibrator would have effectively ruptured her hymen in the way that actual sex would.  It just seems like it would have been a good moment for blood to become an issue for them.  But, it's your story, and I really like it.  I hope you'll write others.

Reviewer: pennycocktail (Signed) · Date: June 16, 2010 08:26 PM · On: A Tasty Snack

So, since Bella was a virgin, why didn't she bleed when she had sex for the first time?  Seems like that should have been an issue for them.  It would have been really interesting to see how you would have handled that.

Reviewer: pennycocktail (Signed) · Date: June 15, 2010 11:36 PM · On: Nothing Says High School

Hello... wow, that was an amazing chapter... damn...  hummina, hummina...  ;   So, you thought it might be unbelievable pacing... I don't necessarily think so... sometimes these things can move faster than you'd think... you write really well... please write more...

Reviewer: pennycocktail (Signed) · Date: June 15, 2010 08:26 PM · On: The Best Policy

I love it, it's great... I really want to see what happens with them.  I'm not sure if this fanfic is complete, or if you're still writing, but I'm totally into it.  If this is complete, then please start something new... you're a really good writer, it's really imaginative, and very well-written... and I'm very pro-Edward, so this is pretty fun to read... please don't stop.

Reviewer: pennycocktail (Signed) · Date: June 15, 2010 06:44 PM · On: Open Book

Hi,

I'm really liking it so far... it's such a good spin on the original, and I like the thoughts you put in Bella's head.  It's funny, and intelligent... and hopeful.  And I read about it in the author remarks for another piece I read on Twilighted, which is why I'm reading it, so that in itself is a pretty good commendation.  I know you've finished this one, but you should consider another, you're good at this.  

Reviewer: CyberKeiko (Signed) · Date: June 07, 2010 09:04 PM · On: His Cake

I really love your story and look forward to when you update again. Which I hope is soon! :)

Reviewer: camri (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2010 02:56 PM · On: His Cake

found this fic through another fic rec .. Edward letting go, mebbe? And oh boy, glad I did. This is a really nice story and it is way hot! Please keep it ...er... coming. Looking forward to the next update and meeting Vampella at some point :)

Reviewer: msashlyjudd8 (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2010 12:25 AM · On: First Sight

Great start. Rosalie really knows how to kill the mood eh? Love Bella's inner thoughts.

Reviewer: pumpkinmykitty (Signed) · Date: March 01, 2010 09:59 PM · On: Nothing Says High School

First off Flummoxed is my new favorite word!  Thanks! LOL  2nd this chapter was OMG HOT!!!!!

Reviewer: twilightnewborn (Signed) · Date: February 08, 2010 02:26 PM · On: His Cake

I am really loving this story.  Your writing is wonderful and I can't wait to see what happens next.  Can't wait for book 2!  Please update soon.

Reviewer: buff802y (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2010 11:20 AM · On: Open Book

Great story. Really like how this is playing out!!!

Reviewer: peygan (Signed) · Date: January 26, 2010 11:09 PM · On: His Cake

WoW...

Reviewer: rizzysnape (Signed) · Date: January 11, 2010 07:16 PM · On: Nothing Says High School

Every time the phrase Condom Testing Night came up a new wave of giggles acompanied it. My roommate thought I was having some kind of fit. I am so glad I wasn't drinking anything as I read this chapter.

Reviewer: newmommyak (Signed) · Date: January 10, 2010 04:46 PM · On: His Cake

You are incredible. I read this story over two days and was completely blown away. This is the story as it should have been - with two people who actually TALK to each other. What a concept! Plus Edward realizing right off the bat that he would need to keep Bella with him - not insisting on keeping her human - headed off all sorts of the stupidity that reigned in the series.

I was a bit off-put with how fast they started into sex, then realized if the circumstances had been correct - and if I hadn't had so many previous boyfriends who had tried to push me into things I didn't want, I probably would have slept with my husband a lot earlier. We both knew pretty fast that we were it, but we were also 17 and had two families that really didn't want us sleeping together that young. So I got over it in the story, too. 

I have really enjoyed how you developed their physical relationship. I like how you've put in so many real facts about sex into it.

I hope they also spend some more time with the family, but I realize much of that is off-scene from what you are exploring here.

I have been a bit confused on length of sex vs. number of her orgasms. Seems like she should be getting a bit more of them. But everyone is different.

Kudos on your treatment of the whole James/Victoria thing. Really, it was just excruciating in the books.

I am VERY much looking forward to the next story in your series!! 

 

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