Every stinkin' time... i can't read  a chapter without crying!!  I have to hide so not to be made fun of at home.....i wouldn't dare try to read this at work!!!  It truly amazes me depth of emotion i get from this fic. When she was screaming at Mike "I'm not a whore!"  Broke my heart!!!  I'm so glad Edward was there for her.  They really need this talk.....i hope it's next.   I think he's just now really seeing just how badly she's been hurting.  But I think he made a really really good point.... he did fight contunually for her forgiveness and as broken as her heart is she really needs to see that and realize that he has suffered as well.  I really hope to see all that next chapter!!!  Did i mention this fic has taken over my heart?????  Love it!!!

Author's Response:

Well, next chapter is going to be Chubward's POV of the events of the second half of this chapter.  But there is talking coming.  Trust us there!

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

 

It’s a strange feeling to come to the end of something powerful, feeling like you’ve been thrown into a whirlpool of emotions, some violent, some tender, but mostly consuming.

 

You find yourself laughing and smiling, then suddenly clutching your heart through your shirt, trying desperately to ease it’s thundering pulse. Joy has morphed into despair, and you’re left feeling battered and run through.

 

Such was my experience today, my experience as I quietly sat in the backseat of a shiny Volvo, my presence unseen and my hushed gasps unheard, and witnessed a moment that only God and His guardian angels should be privy to see. In between the spontaneous bursts of laughter and blind sighting blows across the face, there lingered a silence in that shiny Volvo that should have been deafening and unwelcomed, but instead fulfilled a purpose for rest, and yet oddly, escalation. Sometimes it’s not good to wait until tensions have eased for sorrows to be laid bare. Sometimes tension is vital to the birth of revelations and the unburdening of one’s soul. Such silence fueled that tension, storming through a sea of guilt, lonliness, and hope.

 

Beneath, behind, and before every revelation lingered the promise of hope. I saw it wave it’s tiny white flag in the distance from where I sat, smiling as I welcomed it’s quiet joy.

 

Battered and run through, I watched as the shiny Volvo pulled away into the night. I didn’t want to feel sad. I didn’t want to laugh out loud either. All I wanted was to just smile, smile before I lost the Volvo from sight.

 

I went back and tried to find a memory that could satiate my need. Something just enough to ease my aching heart.

 

Then I found it.

 

“You know I only dance on the third Sunday of the first full moon after the spring equinox.”

 

There it is.

 

Thank you for my smile.

 

Author's Response:

Yup, you made me cry with this review.  So beautiful.

There is hope here.  Hope that no one is a lost cause.  No one is too broken.  We are all salvageable people.  These are the same two kids that passed notes in class and danced only on the 3rd Sunday of the first full moon after the spring equinox.  They just have to find their way home.

Thank you for seeing the hope with us.

this made me cry. a lot.  poor Bella.

I really, really hope that when they talk, they talk about why he was so quick to believe she wanted whatver Jake was dishing out. For some reason it bugs me that he believed it so quickly about the person he'd been best friends with for so long. Maybe she should have been willing to hear him out when he called etc after it happened, but gah, as much as I love Edward (here, there, everywhere), I'm on Bella's side in this one and place the blame on him.

Author's Response:

Trust me, although he had *no* right to say those things to her, he did have a motivation that you are not aware of yet.  Just bear that in mind.  It won't make his reaction "right" but it will make it more understandable. 

Thanks so much for reviewing!

Ladies congratulations for this chapter!!! last night when I read the teaser at the forum I was going nuts, thanks God I didn't read it earlier because it was to much to bear.

I believe that every person has a limit, a maximun capacity of what he or she can bear before snapping and I'm glad that Bella seems to have reached hers after all this years. This is a very crucial point in their relationship, many important thing were said in the car and I really hope that Bella remembers all of them and that Edward is ready for what seems to be coming. They have a long read ahead and this seems the right moment to start talking and healing.

Right now I'm not sure if I'm mad at Alice for demanding that Bella went to the bar even knowing how she is felling about all of this, or glad that she did because if not for her pushy personality maybe Bella and Edward would have taken too long to start talking about all of this, always waiting for the rigth time.

I can't wait to read next chapter, hope every thing starts working well for this two.

As always hoping real life is treating you well...

Kisses. R.

Author's Response:

We can only hope that she remembers some of it.  A lot happened in this chapter and, as inconvenient as it is that this had to begin when she was drunk, we both thought that they'd take so long to get to it any other way.  She needed her verbal filter removed in order to take the first step.

 

Thank you so much for all of your support!

Wow..okay, I, um, knew that this was going to be bad....but maybe I needed another warning before reading?  

Ellie, the sadness of Brokella...I don't know if I can take it.  I'm so happy that she had her say, however, because Edward needed to know all of it.  And he needs to feel like shit over it! 

“It’s never the time for me."--gosh that line just says it all for Bella!  And then she starts reaming him and asking him how many he's f**ked!  Edward has some major shit to shift through now...as if he wasn't feeling bad enough.

Just beautifully written!  I'm not sure how you ladies are going to get Chubward out of this one!

--Melanie

Author's Response:

The liquid courage certainly opened her up and removed her verbal filter!  It produced a strange amalgam of "old Bella" and "new Bella".  One lost in pain, the other furious and ranting.  Poor Chubward does have his work cut out for him!

 

Thanks so much for reviewing!

I LOVE Nine Inch Nails! I love that that is the song drunken Bella decides to do her solo dance!

I can't wait to see what's in store for them next.

Author's Response:

Glad you enjoyed the song choice!

 

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

=(

Author's Response:

It'll be okay....

 

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

Dude...if I were Bella I'd tell Edward to fuck. off! Seriously! Fuck that guy. He fucked her up so much. I hate that she comes back and she's just able to hang out with him. Someone in Bella's mental state, should not be around Edward right now. The girl needs to go to therapy and then maybe after a year of that, talk to Edward. This is just destructive. In the real world, Edward can't make it better.

Author's Response:

While I appreciate your points, Edward is not the only factor playing into her current state.  She has gone to therapy, but obviously it was not effective to date and needs to change tacts.  No one can really make her better until she's ready...

Again, thank you for sharing your thoughts.

I freakin LOVED this chapter!!!! First of all, I love the progress they are making, having it all out even if it really isn't the time since she's hammered, and speaking of.....HER DRUNKEN PENIS RANT WAS HILARIOUS, I read that with my  hand clapped over my mouth the whole time!! Loved it!!

And I loved Bella and Emmett doing Mary J and Meth in the beginning...too funny - can't wait to see what happens next and hope they don't backtrack TOO much!

Author's Response:

Oh, the Bella/Emmett rap was SO much fun!  I’m glad you liked it!  And Bella's... educational rant... was a blast to write!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

Oh man...so close yet so far away.  That was definitely closer though.

Author's Response:

Yes, there is definitely more talking that needs to be done, but at least this is a start!

 

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

 

 

 

Oh, I do hope we get Bella's POV of Edward dropping his boxers. I thought it was very sweet that Bella went to the cemetary to be there for him, and I'm so glad that she overheard what he was saying. I can imagine that if he was saying some of that stuff directly to her, she wouldn't believe him.

Another fantastic chapter! I loved it!

Author's Response:

Oh, you definitely find out what Bella thought of the boxer drop....

 

Thanks so much for reviewing!

Amazing!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!