Amazingly powerful story!  I'm totally hooked.  Can't wait to see what happens next.  Thanks for sharing your wonderful words. 

hi there....this was recd on the high anxiety update today...truthfully, I had heard aboout it before. It is good and interesting and  because it is hitting close to home,i am having major anxiety issues reading it. Both of my brothers are recovering alcoholic/drug addicts. My brother's drug of choice was alcohol and my step-brothers was coke.  they b oth used anything and everything though. they both were in rehabs/hospitals and lock downs. more than once and at least twice before they were legal. I would have major concerns being with a recovering addict. I cant even begin to write about the sleepless nights,arrests, my parents and  panic etc. Man the stories I have!!  I could go on and on...and the trepidation I feel reading this. So hard to trust and they break your heart.

both of my brothers are sober, both smoke a lot of cigarettes and both have slipped before..it is ongoing and anything can trigger it. About 2 years ago my brothers wife called that my brother was using again(valium he got on the internet) He is 27 now and now step brother is 28 and when I got that call from my sister in law it killed me...and shocked me and i realized it is never really over. he has been sober now again for a year...well enough, I look forward to see where this story is going

anyone in recovery in your family?

Oh man...I knew something like this was coming, and still it killed me!  I want to hate Edward and say Bella deserves better and that she's better off without him...but really I know that's all wrong!  Sadly I understand him.  He's scared and feels like he has no control, and this was his way of taking control!  He'll realize very soon, if not already, that he screwed up BIG!  Hopefully Jasper and Alice will be able to help her understand his motives so she doesn't just think he doesn't love her.  She's a smart girl, she has to know why he's doing this!  Come on Bella don't abandon him like everyone else has in his life!  It would be nice to see Bella save Edward for once and not run off crying like a weak little girl.  I expect more from this Bella.

Oh...this is going to be so bad for his recovery!  I really, really hope he doesn't relapse!  I want him to prove everyone wrong, including himself!  Of course this will just give Charlie all the proof he needs, and right after he sounds like he might be starting to come around!

*Sigh* You're killing me here Talula!  Saddest line this chapter for me?  There were many to choose from but I'm going to have to go with:

"I can't do better and it's hard for me to imagine how she could do worse"

Ugh...that just got me!  He's just so sad and broken and he really, honestly believes he's worthless!  That's just so sad!  Okay, I'm off to cry myself to sleep, lol...kidding (sort of)!  Don't leave us hanging to long, I'm anxious to see what's happening in Bella's head!  Regardless of the angst, this chapter as always, was beautiful and raw!  You nailed his emotions to a tee, down to the little feelings in his chest and the throbbing in his body...seriously pure genious!  See ya next time....xoxo

Whoa.

I knew some heartfail was inevitable with this story but this... this was unexpected. It seemed to even take Edward by surprise. And now my stomach is really in knots because I strongly sense a relapse coming on. Not good.

Still, your writing was beautiful (as always) and I was beyond excited to see your update in my inbox. The more I read this story, the more I fall in love with it.

Very nice writing. (:

Heartbreaking but it also felt very natural, I had two scenarios in my head, Edward applying Defense Mechanisms 101 like it happened here or Edward relapsing after Bella left. I felt truly awful for her though :(  Amazing chapter

Oh, that was so fucking heart wrenching !!! You gave us a treat by updating so quickly, but for the love of god you can't leave us hanging for too long after this chapter!!! I think I need a drink......

Oh damn, this chapter makes me sick to my stomach.  such a great story, but i hate this so much for both.  Please dont let edward keep being an ass....

thanks for writing! 

ouch made me a little teary eyed can't wait to see what bella has to say or what will happen next

Oh Edward!  It's not the same as all the other times.  You're scared.  You are striking first, because you have no faith!  I hope Bella comes back and kicks your ass!

:( noooooooooooooooooooooo

OMG!!!  NOOOOO.....

Well shit - you made me cry!