I am such a lurker. I have been on this site and obsessed w/FF for about 6 months and I never comment. I know, I'm a bad girl. Anyway, this story has thrust me out of lurkdom because... damn this sh*t owns me! You are an amazing writer and a true talent. A small part of my past relates to this relationship with all its angst and it is very realistic and heart wrenching. Again, this is so wonderfully written I cannot even give you enough praise!

Jesus. I am wrecked. It is a testament to how good your writing is that I too emotional and speechless to writ much of a review.

My heart is breaking for Bella  - and for Edward - Addiction is an ugly thing...

Wow, shades of "New Moon".  You're a wonderful writer.  Love this story and it's reality.  You definitely know a lot about addiction.  So real.  I ache for Edward.  So lost.  Looks like the illness is running the show right now.  The real Edward, the Edward we love in this story, is so helpless in the throughs of his relapse.  He's in there somewhere watching it all happen, hating himself.  So, so sad.  I wonder how he's going to get it together again.  No money for rehab and most definitely not doing AA.  I'm thinking jail or the hospital.  Who knows .....  I do know that he can get on top of it again and I have faith that you will get him there.  Can't let that ffing disease win again!!!  Poor Bella. Her love will help her understand.

Thanks for giving us this great story.  Waiting with everyone else to see Edward's hell again.  Awful!

Your writing style is very powerful and I think you are handling writing about an addict in a very realistic way. The entire time I was reading the passage where she saw Edward in the bar, my heart was pounding.

That being said, my heart feels like it was ripped out of my chest and stomped on after this chapter. Very realistic, but still so so heartbreaking.

Great job!

seriously your writing is amazing.....I'm sitting here reading this chapter and my heart was going crazy like it wanted to pop out of my chest....so much hurt, anger, and love.

So Jake makes his appearance.......well let see what happens

PLEASE PLEASE update soon!!!!!

Ughhh.  that is all i can say.  Nothing against your writing, it is beautiful, as always.  The angst is just too much for me right now.  I just want to find Edward and beat him repeatedly over the head with the f-ing bottle.  Blah.

 

Another  very good chapter! Quite unexpected too. I love this story and can't wait for an update.

OMG, this chapter was so hard to read! Angst out of the wazoooo. 

I see the path you are taking, not sure I like it just yet BUT I trust you and your amazing writing. 

I wish Bella would have walked up to Edward and gave him a piece of her mind but I would just be living vicariously through her....because I would have done just the same as she did. It still would have been fun to see her go off on him though.

Wow, I was not expecting that.  So sad.

Why is it that even though I really thought Edward would relapse, it was still such a shock that he did?  I guess because even though you know (or think it's going to happen), you still hope desperately, with everything that you have, that he'll prove you wrong. 

I have a few problem drinkers in my life.  Not alcoholics who've hit rock bottom & lost everything.  But drinkers whose lives would be immensely better if they could just stop drinking.  They function, pay their bills, have dysfunctional relationships, heck they even quit for months (sometimes years) at a time, but the drinking still touches everything.  Everytime they quit, you hope, everytime they start back up, a piece of your optimism wilts and your bitterness grows.  You can't help wondering when the optimism will be completely drained and you'll only have the bitterness left.  It's a sad cycle.

I can't help feeling sorry for Bella.  She was so naive, so innocent.  And, she really had no clue.  I mean, yes, in theory she probably knew there was a good chance he'd relapse.  But, it's much more palatable in theory than reality.  Is it bad that I want this Bella to choose this Jacob??  I want her to have the easier life that this  Jacob (or heck, even this Seth) could provide.  And yet, like all the rest of us, she probably won't make the easier choice.

Great chapter.  Thanks for writing.

This was an absolutely brilliant chapter.

So thoughtful. I really loved it.

It was painful, but it had so much grace. You captured everything so beautifully:  the relationship between Alice and Bella (Alice's tale of dating an addict...wow),  the friendship of Bella and Seth, Mike (he could be my new favorite character ever of fanfictiondom), Bella's breakdown with her dad, the gentle entry of Jake.

You really have your timing down so perfectly. And your're not rushing anything. Thank you for sharing your talent with us and your lovely interpretations of these characters.  Cheers to you.

G.

I feel Edward needed to break up with Bella to give himself a reason to feel shitty about himself, to prove to himself that he is not worth it, or deserves her love, so he could go back to drinking and using again and destroying all he has accomplished. And the sneer was just that.

I think he didn't want to see Bella watch him while he was losing his humanity and sou. He knew her love wasn't enough to just shake him up and make him get a hold of himself and not lose the battle against this darkness that is eating him up from inside.

She can't be his savior if he doesn't want to be saved. It seems he is a happier person with what the path he chose even though to us the outsider it leads to his ultimate destruction but maybe that is what he seeks.