I think Jasper is right. Edward is not ready for any responsibility beyond himself, maybe not even that. I liked how assertive jasper was here.

it's incedible how anxious i get when one of these updates comes to my inbox.

i'm feeling good about edward's very realistic recovery, and heartsick about he and bella's ongoing separation.

thank you for this story, and how very real it is. it makes my hart hurt but it's good.

Jasper is incredible in this ch. His realization that he'd done things less than by the book with Edward, and that he shouldn't be his sponsor any more... Actually all his dialog was terrific.

A roller coaster this time. First E's running and trying to stay sober, then he's right back into drinking. The lists of days, and the setbacks was well done.

This line -- I want to want anything - anything - more than I want to be drunk or to be high. -- was the perfect summation of that section with his shitty apt and the despair. I could see how it would seem almost impossible to give up the one thing that brings relief in the midst of hating his job and his empty place and himself and being alone. 

I'm somewhat heartened by the amt of time that's passed with him working on recovering in this ch, because obviously it's a slow process (that never ends), and if we're going to get to see him turning his life around, it would have to be after a long haul. 

Thanks for posting.

Just fyi, I'm hosting a readalong for this story on twitter on July 12 at 9 EST. (FicBridge blog sponsors it, and everyone reads at the same time. commenting and quoting with the tag #readalong so we can read each other's tweets. Sort of a txt book club, I guess.)

Oh, so sad. I really love reading this story from Edward's perspective. And as much as I hate that he's struggling, it's very realistic, which is refreshing in a story. Wow, it's been two years. I'm interested to see if Seth and Edward meeting is going to play into the story at all.

seriously?! my heart is breaking here STILL  . ..  can we please please please of some sort of a reunion/run-in . . . if it if it's all angsty!! It just doesn't feel right them being apart for this long.

Well written, small paragraphs that describe hitting rock bottom break my heart.  This chapter was reminicsent of the book "Dry" in the sense of how the narrator feels so hopeless.  Very well executed. 

Although I'm not sure where I want this fic to go as far as the fate of Edward and Bella, I can only hope that they find some sort of resolve withing themselves.  Excellent job, love this story!

:'( forever. 

Really though, beautiful chapter, beautifully done.  I really appreciate the care you take with your characters.  This is lovely, as always.

I was out of town when you updated and I had to sneak away to read on my phone! lol.

This chap just blew me away. It saddened me in a different way than Bella's pov. It reminded me of the ever memorable chapter 1 that shocked and intrigued me equally. This chap was so much more personal, probably because I feel like I know Edward now. Hearing him battle with this Edwar and that Edward...all of it. How the time he sees Bella in the bar is so fleeting to him, unsure whether she was really there or not. I'm just grateful with how you ended the chapter...it left me with a slight twinge of hope. Fantastic chapter!

xxoo
annie

My head is on my desk. I cannot quite believe what I have just read. It was so painful to experience the ride that he is on, and to think that each time he steps off of it, he gets right back in line. I am hopeful for him toward the end, but something warns me that this is just the other side of the pendulum swing. Fingers crossed.

And your carefully wrought words. Makes it all so much more painful for their specificity.

Thank you.

Onward >>>

Wow.  I'm quite impressed by your skillful writing.  This is an excellent first chapter.  Probably hands down one of the best that I've read, not just in fanfic, but in literature.

You do a fantastic job bringing the reader inside the mind of an addict.  I wonder if some of your readers really know how accurate you are portraying this.

I like that we don't find out his name until several paragraphs into it.  The Eddie thing is perfect.  I mean, I knew it was Edward, but if this were a book, I would totally dig on the fact that we go through all that without really knowing his name.

Wow.  I mean, really, you just nailed it.  There are some people who can write, but they don't understand the subject matter well enough to do it justice and then there are those who are well-versed in the subject matter that aren't very artful with their writing.

You however, have nailed both accounts.

I am just knocked on my ass by how well this has begun.  I don't know how quickly I can read, as there's not much time for me, but it's definitely a story I'm willing to invest time into.

Really well done.

Thanks for the effort and sharing.

i found this and can i say it hits home. i have dealt with not only drug addiction but alchoholism on both sides of my family.  my own brother was a meth user and dealer for years.  you have it right on with everything. brava and keep doing the great job that you are. 

Just started your story and I like it very much.  Really love the way your writing this :)