Hang in there Edward!! You'll be fine, another year and life will start to look up again. Bella will wait. She would completed her PhD by then.
Excellent chapter, brilliant writing. I am absolutey sobbing over this chapter. I'm so glad to see Jasper grow a pair also.

omg this chapter made me cry. Devastating!! Edward makes me so sad, I really hope he can pull it together but I'm not very optimistic, he just seemed to stuck in this rut, too broken. I'm guessing that Jasper wasn't completely honest when talking about Bella and I hope next chapter we get to read her POV, or read about Jasper's meeting with her next weekend. I'm eager for a Bella/Edward confrontation/reunion but I feel like that wont' be for a couple chapters. Such an amazing story, you truly have a gift with words...

Another great chapter.

I like how you convey time. It's been so long since he's been with Bella, surely she's moved on? I'm glad he's studying, something to get excited about, to be challenged.

Time to go chat at the forest.

Hey Talula

Wow Edward's is on such a journey and I love that you've written so true to life. His addiction is a constant struggle and something that he has to fight every single day.  My heart aches for him. I'm glad though that he seems to be getting things back together again. He's gone back to school and rebuilt his relationship with Jasper again. 

I really hope that he & Bella can find a way back to each other but I'm not sure how. It seems that he is being realistic about his chances with her and realises the damage that he has done.

Thank you for the quick update, I really appreciate it. I love this story so much. Your writing is beautiful.

Annette

What a chapter!...its incredible how your writing transcends time.  Like sometimes minutes crawl by and other times whole months just speed ahead of us.  Poor E!
1. Jasper: "when you're uncomfortable you're threatened. When you're threatened, you do this ‘I'm a failure' act, and it's not helping."--exactly! Jazz has hit the nail on the head! Its the same thing he does with B!
2. E: "Bella," I say, desperate to find the right answer, to prove him wrong.  "I committed to her."--WRONG FUCKING ANSWER! And I hope Jazz beats the shit out of you for that one
3. Jasper: "I don't think I should be your sponsor anymore,"--YIKES! Jazz is so pissed, but everything he says, E needs to hear...ESP his ridiculousness with B
4. "I've been drinking every night this week, and on this particular evening I want to get high."--E?!?! WHAT THE FUCK YO?!? Wait, can he drink? He's supposed to abstain from drugs and alcohol, yah? Damn it E...haven't you reached rock bottom yet?!
5. "I sit in the dark, bullshit tears running down my face because even if I wanted to I couldn't do it, couldn't kill myself.  I'd fail even at that, because I can't let go of the tiniest sliver of hope that maybe, maybe things won't be this way forever."--OH Edward! :'-(
6. "I have one day sober, then two, then three, four, five, six, and then a whole week.  Then I buy a six-pack on the way home because I'm a working man and working men deserve a drink at the end of the day."--EDWARD? What's it gonna take?
7. "Music History and Appreciation....I figured after Spanish and Anthropology this term I could use a break." "--*MOUTH AGAPE* E's taking classes?! This is GREAT!  What's the catalyst? Playing music in the school music room?
8. "The last time I had something like that was with Bella, and that was nearly two years ago."--WOW, its been TWO YEARS. I can't even imagine! Two years of on-again/off-again drugs and alcohol. *SIGH* Well, hopefully he's getting help... 
9. "I think about the letter she wrote me, all the kind things she said, and I know that the way I looked at her and my silence have most likely nullified any good feeling she had left for me."--So he DOES get the letter...and he reads it, but no response? What the hell E? I'm really trying to understand your reasoning and its continuously eluding me!  
I guess, ultimately, E has to work on himself first. He has to get to a place where he is happy, on and of himself, as an individual before he can even pursue a relationship with someone else.  But he's sober...and he's taking classes...time will tell...

I really should have a box of tissues next to me when I see that the story has updated. I'm definitely gonna re-read it once it's finished. I must love this sweet torture..lol. Another great chapter.

thanks.

soo good! sounds like Edward is getting back on track and going to school again.  good for him.  I'm surprised that two years have gone by.  Cant wait to see what happens next.

glad to see edward back on his feet. :)

 

your story is my favorite right now. your writing style is so different and I never know what I am going to get when a new chapter comes. can't wait for 22!

oh edward :(

I have very little knowledge of AA, NA, & Alanon(?) but I was wondering what they would advise an addict who was in a relationship before they decided to sober up? I understand how it would be wise to work on yourself before you attempt to start a relationship. But only if you have other types of relationships in your life, such as friends and family. Edward has no one. No support system. I think Jasper, as Edward's sponsor, should have advised Edward to handle his & Bella's relationship, when they had one that is, the way a married couple would have been advised. (that sentence so messed up I hope it made sense) I think it was best that Jasper quit being his sponsor. Now, he can be a friend who understand what Edward is going through, part of his support system, because apparentally he wasn't being the sponsor he should of been. Anyways, never agreed with the whole "no relationships" thing, but after reading this chapter and realizing just how lonely he is, did I start to think the people who came up with those rules (suggestions) are huge fucking idiots. So, in regards to AA and NA, is this story factual?                  

I'm glad we see Edward's lengthy struggle instead of just a quick easy fix. It's honest and gives this story weight. I love that Edward has reconnected with his love of music, and that he found something he can be passionate about, a positive outlet for all that restless energy. Great writing, great story.

Wow, Edward has had it rough.  Sounds like he might actually be doing better.  Good that he is in school and playing the piano again.