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Reviewer: content1 (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2009 04:09 PM · On: Chapter 6: Joy Ride

Edmund?  Good one.



Author's Response:

Thanks!  I figured that would be a nice little shocker!  Lol.

Reviewer: content1 (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2009 04:06 PM · On: Chapter 5: Speed

Nice cliffy..



Author's Response:

Thank you!  Glad I've got you hooked!

Reviewer: content1 (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2009 04:03 PM · On: Chapter 4: Journey

Okay - I was lost for a minute with your chapter notes.  So I am assuming Charile is dead - and possibly someone who looks like Edward did it?  I will definitely keep reading.



Author's Response:

Well, yes, Charlie's dead.  That's clear from Chapter 2.  If you go back and re-read the chapter, you'll see this is the case.  In fact, that's the reason I titled that chapter "The Unthinkable".  It's absolutely unthinkable that Charlie Swan, one of the main characters, should die. 

In Chapter 3, the whole scene in which Edward lunges at Charlie is set in italics.  Also, after the scene, Carlisle shakes Bella awake.  So she was having a nightmare.

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: content1 (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2009 03:58 PM · On: Chapter 3: Conundrum

Okay - you have me intrigued as to how this will work.  Definitely keeping my interest.



Author's Response:

I'm so happy that my story had interested you!  Thanks for another review!  I hope to continue to keep you intrigued!

Reviewer: content1 (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2009 03:54 PM · On: Chapter 1: Ditching

Okay I am curious - wolves passing her by?



Author's Response:

Lol.  Hey, great guess!  Keep reading, and you'll see!  Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: content1 (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2009 03:47 PM · On: Prologue: Memories

Found this on RFR - interesting idea - the books being Bella's diary.  I hope you don't shift too quickly because I would love to hear her thoughts now - on her life then.



Author's Response:

Well, thank you for taking the time to read and review!  I really appreciate it!

Reviewer: LeahSylvia (Signed) · Date: September 23, 2009 04:01 PM · On: Chapter 3: Conundrum

Wow!  Stranger and stranger!  I like it!



Author's Response:

Well, thank you!  I actually LOVE it when someone praises weirdness in my writing.  You see, I'm a spy from another planet...lol.  No, seriously, thank you very much!  I guess I enjoy writing off-the-wall things, and it's great when someone appreciates them.

At the moment, this story is sort of on hold, but I will be returning to it soon! 

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: na-is-fba (Signed) · Date: September 09, 2009 02:52 AM · On: Chapter 2: The Unthinkable

I'm definitly still intrested! Confused but liking it. I guess the only way to kill the confusion is to read on.



Author's Response:

Yes, do keep reading!  You'll see all the weird little twists and turns.  I'm glad you like it in spite of this! 

Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: na-is-fba (Signed) · Date: September 09, 2009 02:41 AM · On: Prologue: Memories

I can honestly say that I've never read a story like this. I was intrested the second I read your authors note/summary. What an intresting way to keep things canon yet different at the same time!



Author's Response:

Yeah...I love science fiction, so I decided to try writing a Twilight story that contained some SF elements. 

Thank you so much for your comments!

Reviewer: BekahR (Signed) · Date: September 07, 2009 10:55 AM · On: Chapter 4: Journey

I've finally gotten a chance to get back to reading some stories; sorry it's taken me awhile to come back to this. That being said, where is Edward? I can't imagine that he'd just leave Bella behind if she's being pursued by someone/something?

Thanks for another intriguing chapter!



Author's Response:

Don't worry -- I have to do some catching up on reading stories myself.  There are so many good ones out there!  We need to get a T-shirt printed that reads; "SO MANY GOOD TWILIGHTED STORIES -- SO LITTLE TIME!'  Lol  I have to get back to YOUR story, as well!

As for where Edward is, keep reading -- he'll be showing up soon!

Thanks for sticking with the story, as well as reviewing!

Reviewer: BekahR (Signed) · Date: August 24, 2009 10:40 AM · On: Chapter 3: Conundrum

Wow, this is getting stranger and stranger. Edward killed Charlie? I hope to God that's just Bella's crazy, overactive subconscious . . .

All the Cullens are here, and Edward's still in the picture, but the six vampires that Edward met must have something to do with the disappearing buildings and Charlie's death. Could the Cullens have some sort of evil counterparts? That would explain the pseudo-Edward attack -- maybe just a vampire that looked exactly like Edward? Ah, I'm probably way off; it's fun to speculate anyway. ;)

Lovely chapter!



Author's Response:

Well, if you take a closer look, you'll see that this was actually a nightmare Bella was having.  And yes, this is a very strange story!  Lol.  Actually, this dream could be looked at as foreshadowing.  And that's all I'm saying, at this point!

Thanks for the compliment, and for reading & reviewing!  Reviews do make my day (or night)!  =D

Reviewer: stupidsuckedinreader (Signed) · Date: August 22, 2009 08:28 PM · On: Chapter 7: The Meadow

Love it. Genius. Yes, I do tune out most of the time my husband has SciFi (SyFy [insert eye roll] but thiss is really cool. Besides, I did watch Sliders as a kid and really adored alternative universes. Cannot wait to read more.



Author's Response:

And again I thank you!!  Yes, I love alternate universes, too!  And I am a die-hard Star Trek fan, so you know I LOVE SF!!

This story is on a little hiatus right now, though.  That's because I started another one, and submitted the first chapter about two weeks ago.  It hasn't been validated yet.  So I'm waiting for that to happen.  Meanwhile, I can't submit any more chapters for this one.

There are more chapters at fanfiction.net, though.  Just go to my profile page here at Twilighted.  You'll find the link for my profile at ff.net, where I use the pen name "Angelmuse".

Thank you once more for your reviews, as well as the suggestion about making the chapters longer!

Reviewer: stupidsuckedinreader (Signed) · Date: August 22, 2009 08:24 PM · On: Chapter 6: Joy Ride

Oooh I like this story a lot. Wish your chapters were longer though.



Author's Response:

Yeah, I've been thinking the very same thing.  I appreciate your pointing this out.  So I will be going back to my word processor in order to expand the chapters.  Except the prologue, though.  Prologues, by their very nature, are always shorter.

Thanks again for your wonderful comments!

Reviewer: stupidsuckedinreader (Signed) · Date: August 22, 2009 08:12 PM · On: Chapter 2: The Unthinkable

Your AU has sucked me in... I love disaster type scenarios. I even work on disaster planning at work. Add this story to my favorites. Yeah for R4R for expanding my treasure trove of fantastic stories!



Author's Response:

Son of a gun!  And here I was getting so discouraged because of few reviews!  Thank you!  You've made my night!!!!!  This is on a par with getting bitten by Edward!!!!!!  =D

It's great to have someone appreciate my Forks disaster!  Again, thank you for your wonderful comments!

Reviewer: stupidsuckedinreader (Signed) · Date: August 22, 2009 08:02 PM · On: Chapter 1: Ditching

Was it a bird? Was it a plane? Was it a Cullen? I am very interested in reading more and seeing what happens next. I am a little confused but its a very well written and I want to see what is next.



Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing again!  Yes, I know that everything seems a little confusing.  This is a *weird* story!  Seriously.  (Lol.)  As I explained in the story notes at the beginning, rhere are some science fiction elements in this tale -- thus the *weirdness".  I guess Twilight and SF is not a mix that most Twilighters are used to.  =D

Thank you so much for the compliment on my writing!  That means a great deal to me, since writing is one of my passions, right along with reading! 

So stay tuned to the "Twilight Zone"...hee, hee!

Reviewer: stupidsuckedinreader (Signed) · Date: August 22, 2009 07:52 PM · On: Prologue: Memories

I am very intrigued with this idea and the fift in the space-time continuim :) Looking forward to seeing where you take this story.



Author's Response:

Hey, thanks for the review!  Yeah, things are going to get a little crazy... Stay tuned!

Reviewer: BekahR (Signed) · Date: August 18, 2009 09:59 AM · On: Chapter 2: The Unthinkable

No! Charlie! How could you? ;)

Obviously there's something freaky going on in Forks. Groups of nomadic vampires? Or have the other Cullens gone wild? Carlisle seemed fairly normal, but you never know.

Great chapter!



Author's Response:

Yeah...poor Charlie!  I wonder how many Twilighters out there are mad at me.  Maybe that's why i'm not getting that many reviews for this story!  Yet, anyway.  Lol.

Your theories about what's going on are very imaginative, although I know they're tongue-in-cheek.  Still, you might have given me some ideas...Hm...

Thank you so much for the review!  =D

Reviewer: SarahBella (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2009 11:40 AM · On: Chapter 7: The Meadow

OOH! 

Sneaky devious!!

I can't wait to see where it goes!



Author's Response:

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!  Glad to see you like the story!

Reviewer: SarahBella (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2009 11:25 AM · On: Chapter 2: The Unthinkable

This is good so far, I can't wait to see what's going on!



Author's Response:

Thanks for your support, Sarah!  Just stay tuned, and you'll see!

Reviewer: BekahR (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2009 04:59 PM · On: Chapter 1: Ditching

Whoa! Definitely creepy. Do 'flashes' = 'running vampires?' Obviously something's up, or Edward wouldn't be out of the picture.

I like that you're able to put little flashes of humor in a more serious story, ie: "Jess just needed some lessons on how to handle men, from someone who was madly in love with a one-hundred-eight-year old male." Your Bella has a nice, dark sense of humor.

Great chapter!

 



Author's Response:

Thank you for your consistently positive comments!  I'm glad this chapter affected you in a properly "creepy" way.  Lol.  You're on the right track when you write that "flashes=running vampires".  Or then, perhaps not!  (Hee, hee!)

I especially appreciate your comments about the elements of humor in this story!  The fact that you present actual quotes in your reviews, in order to make your point, is also a nice touch.  I like to do that myself, when reviewing other authors.

Thanks again!  Hope you continue to enjoy!

Reviewer: BekahR (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2009 04:18 PM · On: Prologue: Memories

Hi! I found you on the new Review for Review thread.

So far I'm very intrigued with the premise; there aren't nearly enough post-Breaking Dawn stories out there, and I like the little touch of sci-fi. My only question was about Bella crying -- is this an AU story where vampires can cry?

Besides that, very lovely start! I especially liked this bit: Then he added that he was looking forward to reading all the parts where I kept falling down, so he could enjoy how he had to keep picking me up.

I'm off to read the rest!



Author's Response:

Thanks for your comments! 

Yes, this is an AU story, but even so, it does seem strange that Bella would cry, since she is indeed a vampire by this time.  Well, I think she slipped up, and started thinking like a human.  But you're right.  I think I'll insert a clarifying explanation, or perhaps write something like, "had I still been human, I would have been crying by now".  Good point!

Thanks for your positive observations!  I'm glad you liked Edward's comment about having to pick her up.  Lol.

Now, let me point out that, since Bella is dipping into the past, this is really a "Twilight" story.  Hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters!

Reviewer: sigh_for_sigh (Signed) · Date: August 09, 2009 02:50 PM · On: Chapter 4: Journey

You do a nice job here with the ending tableau of Bella driving away from Forks or rather not-Forks. I assume the hospital is outisde of Forks. I think it would be nice to have a little more time spent in the hospital and descriptions of it therein, you're pacing went a little fast this chapter. Though I did enjoy the descriptions of the car and rainy Forks itself, particularily the car being "like polished silver". It might have bee nice to have a spefic brand though, and I wonder at why the Cullens don't have their usual cars. More space-time continum funky business?

Anyways, good job and good luck,

sfs

Reviewer: twitina (Signed) · Date: August 09, 2009 01:37 PM · On: Prologue: Memories

I'm here from the review for review thread.

I like your writing, but until the last line, I was thinking it was a lot like other fics I've read.  Your last line, however grabbed me.  I'll have to read more later, when I have more time. 

You seem to have a good grasp of your characters.  Some of the dialogue felt a little OOC for me.  But, otherwise, I think you've got it. 

I have to say, it's nice to see a writer who gets punctuation and grammar!!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your comments, especially the ones about the last line of the prologue, and my use of punctuation and grammar. I happen to be an English teacher, so I guess I'd better know a thing or two about the latter, especially! Lol.

Yes, I am very, very picky when I write my chapters. I proofread them several times before submitting them. At times, even with beta validation, a typo or two might sneak through. However, I've seen that happen with other writers on this site, as well.

I'm wondering why you feel that some of the dialogue is OOC. Well, it's true that each fanfic author injects part of themselves into these beloved characters, albeit unconsciously, of course. I wish you had pointed out specific examples in which you felt the dialogue was out of character. 

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: sigh_for_sigh (Signed) · Date: August 05, 2009 07:28 PM · On: Chapter 2: The Unthinkable

Okay, so I just want to give you kudos on killing a major character. It takes guts and I applaud your guts. I also applaud originality. Although we havne't seen much of the characters yet, your characterization of Bella as strong and yet insecure, is a very rare and yet nice one.

 

Good job,

reading onward,

sfs



Author's Response:

Yes, poor Charlie!  Of course, Carlisle immediately began to function as a father figure to Bella.  I love Carlisle!   It wasn't easy to kill Charlie....but you know how it is with writing muses! 

Thank you very much for the following comment: "...your characterization of Bella as strong nd yet insecure, is a very rare and yet nice one." 

And, of course, thank you for taking the time to read and review!

Reviewer: sigh_for_sigh (Signed) · Date: August 05, 2009 07:25 PM · On: Prologue: Memories

As for the second chapter. I have to admit while I like everything that happens within it, you do a great job at building supense, it doesn't really read like a diary entry, if that's what it is. But then I'm rather confused, wast the last chapter a diary entry, because of the note at the end, is this chapter a diary entry.

Here's to reading onward to figure it out.

Good job and good luck,

sfs



Author's Response:

See my previous comments as to why I mention Bella reading her diaries.

Thank you for the following comment: "...you do a great job at building suspense...."

Thanks as well for reading and reviewing!

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