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Reviews For Captive
Reviewer: TheColdDamsel (Signed) · Date: June 12, 2011 10:54 PM · On: Chapter 18

Well its a good story but not nc-17, more like pg13. Which is disappointing because I keep running into this problem on this site :$ otherwise great story, kind of bland though on many levels "/

Reviewer: MsMeka87 (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2010 10:35 AM · On: Chapter 18

I loved your take on Edward in this fic. Even Bella was not as annoying as she was in Eclipse to me. Maybe because I'm team Edward and can stomach only a small bit of Bella and Jacob's relationship....lol...

That said, I really enjoyed your story and planning to read the sequel now...Great Work. :)

Reviewer: icantsleep (Signed) · Date: May 19, 2010 02:32 AM · On: Chapter 18

Captive was so good that it made me stop reading a Dean Koontz novel so I could finish this first. It was absolutely captivating. I hope you plan to write novels and have them published because you have a gift that should be shared.



Author's Response:

That's incredibly flattering, because I know from personal experience how Dean Koontz can suck you in. Thanks so much for this!

Reviewer: anniebme (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2010 05:15 AM · On: Chapter 4

awww...i knew eddie would come around...

Reviewer: tiffybooCullen (Signed) · Date: December 17, 2009 06:51 PM · On: Chapter 18

wow that was really good



Author's Response:

Thank you! I love hearing that (obviously).

Reviewer: EmeraldRomance (Signed) · Date: November 30, 2009 11:55 PM · On: Chapter 16

Wouldn't ya know, that when I finished chapter 15 with that evil, evil cliffie that actually made me physically nauseous, Twilighted decided to do it's "I'm not going to load properly" thingy, and I just about panicked that I'd have to wait until tomorrow or something to MAKE SURE you had resolved that nasty cliffie LOL.  I'm so pathetic.  Thank goodness it only took 10 minutes. 

I think you are a very brave soul.  I shudder to imagine what your comments must have looked like after you initially posted that last chapter ha ha ha!!



Author's Response:

I hate it when Twilighted does that.

I had to go back and look at the evil cliffie...I couldn't remember which one it was. Of course it was the worst of my evil cliffies. I actually felt quite bad about that one, but it really was a perfect place to stop.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: DisMom (Signed) · Date: October 07, 2009 01:33 PM · On: Chapter 1

I really liked this story!  Extremely well done, and I am a pretty harsh critic when it comes to fanfic.  I disagree with those who find Edward OOC here.  I think you REALLY captured that side of him.  He IS prone to rage.  And as you clearly said in the story, he just lost it.  He was so afraid for her safety that it made him engage in crazy behavior.  The only thing I found to be OOC was the spank he gave her.  I don't think he would ever, under any circumstances, willfully harm her like that.  But the tailgating her and all of that--hell yes.  Totally Edward.  The only other part that I had a problem with was Bella flip-flopping between being happy that he  kidnapped her and simultaneously trying to escape.  I totally understand what you were getting at with this, as she would likely feel both of those opposing feelings, but I felt a bit like I was getting whiplash she was going back and forth so much and so quickly.  GREAT job and I am excited for the sequel.



Author's Response:

I KNOW I typed a long response to this review, but here I am, and it ain't there. I can only surmise that I didn't hit the submit button. I feel terrible, because this is a lovely review, and I definitely wanted to thank you for it.

I don't entirely disagree with you on the spank. It is a tad OOC. Sometimes, when I write, some things just come out literally as I am writing. that smack on the butt was as spur of the moment for me as it was for Edward. I debated removing it, but by I had already posted the chapter as is, and I just felt like I needed to stand by what I had written. I tend to over-think things, and this is my way of shutting myself down. I might add and embellish, but I rarely, if ever, subtract. Strange, I know.

Anyway, thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: Fleuritup (Signed) · Date: September 10, 2009 09:01 PM · On: Chapter 8

my comments on bella being challenged in the common sense department in the last chapter is now confirmed by her actions in this chapter. damn she is ridiculous. and edward is  completely OOC in this story but i like him anyway he is the redeeming link. ah well maybe if her head gets bashed in edward can find a soul mate who doesnt cause him contstant pain and stress. wow i've never wanted eward to find another mate until i read this story. everything but bella is good. im glad she was meeting so many nice and friendly ppl to help her. but she needs a soft helmet and a 24/7 babysitter. how did renee ever keep her alive?

Reviewer: Fleuritup (Signed) · Date: September 10, 2009 08:04 PM · On: Chapter 6

ok i work with special needs students but i think bella may be mentally retarded. im not saying that as a rude joke its just she is doing the dumbest things all to make a phone call. its as if she lacks the tiniest traces of common sense. i know she wants to be turned but this is just plain stupidity. and edward seems to over look her obvious disbility in the common sense department. i dont know what to think, i just hope it;ll be more alone time with the two of them and less bella causing unnecessary drama.

Reviewer: Fleuritup (Signed) · Date: September 10, 2009 06:26 PM · On: Chapter 2

wait, so he is going to let his family fight the army while they run away? in a way its like eclipse but then again its not. anyway its a great story is what it is.

Reviewer: Fleuritup (Signed) · Date: September 10, 2009 06:24 PM · On: Chapter 2

this story gets better and better with each chapter. im surprised he didnt take a minute to write a note saying it was from bella and that she was going away for a year to see the world or something like that, that way her dad would have some sort of idea that she is ok. anyway i love this story.

Reviewer: Fleuritup (Signed) · Date: September 10, 2009 05:13 PM · On: Chapter 1

i love edward in this story, i cant wait to see what he has to say. this story is very interesting.

Reviewer: brandella14 (Signed) · Date: September 08, 2009 04:52 PM · On: Chapter 5

Holy smokes Batman! That was great. I am soo hooked on this story. Ok, I'm thinking he didn't read Bella's thoughts. I'm thinking it was Alice & she showed him a vision & he thinks it was Bella. I think Jasper made him feel the emotions he was feeling.. Am I right? I'll have to keep reading to find out. The ending of this chapter through me big time. Bella is gone! Did she take off to call Alice? Did Alice take her, or did the two guys that were buying beer grab her? On to the next chapter I shall go. P.S. I totally LOVE limona's stories! I've even harrassed & begged (whatever you want to call it) her to keep writing both of them. I shoulda known if she recommended this story that it would be great.

Reviewer: brandella14 (Signed) · Date: September 08, 2009 12:19 PM · On: Chapter 4

Wow. I didn't see that one coming. And what perfect timing for him to finally hear her thoughts. I wonder how he willl react knowing what she wants to happen... The more I read, the more I am getting sucked in.

Reviewer: brandella14 (Signed) · Date: September 08, 2009 03:36 AM · On: Chapter 2

I am liking this plot. I'm a little nervous about Edward's behavior though. He is crazy controlling and possessive like an abusive step father or something along those lines. If he keeps it up he is going to loose her love. I mean, how much can she take before she decides enough is enough? My hope for the end of this story is that she ends up being changed anyway, Edward learns his lesson and realizes he was wrong & the way he is treating her is not how you treat someone you love and want as an equal partner in your life, and last but not least, I hope he can find peace and happiness with Bella as his partner for eternity. Let's see if that's what ends up happening..

Reviewer: sweetness4683 (Signed) · Date: August 27, 2009 01:10 AM · On: Chapter 4

While she was human?  Love it!

Reviewer: Yathena (Signed) · Date: August 19, 2009 03:35 AM · On: Chapter 18

Amazing story. Love it. grat job. i cant wait for you to post the sequel on twilighted.net

Reviewer: EmeraldRain (Signed) · Date: August 17, 2009 04:16 AM · On: Chapter 18

i openly admit that i did not like your interpretation of edward for a great deal of the story, but im glad i pushed on, the story overall was fab :)



Author's Response:

I don't blame you, he was an ass for most of it. To be honest, I don't actually like Edward, or more to the point, I love to hate him.

I am glad you like the sequel so far, and thanks for the review over there! Edward won't be quite as central to that story, but he will definitely be in it, and most importantly, he will be less of an idiot. I think he has mostly learned his lesson. The second chapter is almost half finished, but it is tough going. Life and work are getting in the way.

Reviewer: amkh (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2009 10:18 PM · On: Chapter 18

:) I LOVED it.

I love how you protrayed Carlisle as a father figure. Amazing job :) I will definately be reading your sequel :)



Author's Response:

Thank you!  :) I am quite pleased how Carlisle turned out. I thought he was a bit too permissive in the books, not enough of a father figure. A few people think he is a bit too "hardcore dad" in this story, but most seem to like what I did with him.

Reviewer: Butterfly114 (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2009 02:27 PM · On: Chapter 18

thankyou so much for your beautiful story. i'd love to keep track of your sequel. I really like the sound of your plans for it. sounds great to me! and no clliffies too woohoooo

goodluck with it all <3



Author's Response:

Thank you for this! I am not sure if you know, the first chapter is already up on fanfiction.net. It won't be quite like this story (obviously, now that Bella is a vampire), but I hope you like it anyway.

Reviewer: rachaelprincess (Signed) · Date: August 07, 2009 06:06 PM · On: Chapter 18

Ero - just finished your piece here.  Loved it!  Any variations on canon and vampire treatment are always refreshing to read - and I enjoyed your approach. 

I esp. liked your explanation on where you got Edward's rough side from SM dialogue.  That was so insightful - I thought I was the only one who picked up on that when I read the book.  You are a rare writer to bring this side to life.  That was nice to see. 

But I couldn't see too much of Bella being that stubborn about the blood/animals thing.  It just didn't seem like her - too mean spirited.  But perhaps you will develop that side in your sequel - which I'm VERY much looking forward to reading. 

Happy writing!!



Author's Response:

The Bella being stubborn about hunting thing was actually me putting myself in her shoes, so that could be the reason it doesn't feel quite right. I went from writing Bella to writing me.

It is one thing to know on a cerebral level that you are going to have to hunt and kill animals to drink their blood; I imagine it would be quite a different thing to be faced with the actual act. When Bella said she'd always said that if she had to kill her own food, she'd be a vegetarian, that is actually something I have said about myself. I honestly don't think I could do it. I have no problems chowing down on a juicy steak, but if I had to kill the cow myself? Nope. Kind of hypocritical, I know...but that's just the way I feel.

I am not sure what you mean about mean-spirited, though. I thought it was quite tender-hearted and kind of her, but maybe I am misunderstanding what mean-spirited means. I shall have to google it.

I found Edward's rough side to be quite shocking at times, in the book. Especially when Bella comes back from the rez after sneaking off to see Jacob the first time, and Edward tailgates her all the way to Angela's. I find that to be extremely agressive behaviour, and I am pretty sure it is illegal too. But I really enjoyed playing with that side of him!

Anyway, thanks so much for a great review! I truly appreciate it.

Reviewer: kinsano (Signed) · Date: August 07, 2009 01:40 AM · On: Chapter 5

OMG, I cannot believe that you wrote about a chair in the corner of the bathroom with a clawfoot tub in it and you didn't have a scene where Edward sits and watches Bella bathe!!!  THAt would've ramped up the sexual tension and the romance factor (ie Edward runs the bath and uses candles and flowers.



Author's Response:

You knwo, when I read this review for the first time, I nearly smacked myself on the forehead. What the hell was I thinking?!? I may have to sneak a scene like that into the sequel.

Thanks for the idea! I can't believe I didn't think of that myself. I can be so unromantic somethimes.

Reviewer: Shoean (Signed) · Date: August 06, 2009 09:44 PM · On: Chapter 18

aw, I loved that story. I just read through it in one go so you really had me hooked. loved the way you portrayed edward and bella especially. I like bella with a bit of a backbone ;D great!

Reviewer: kikabr (Signed) · Date: August 06, 2009 05:21 PM · On: Chapter 16

I think you are a genius. this is far better than eclipse itself



Author's Response:

Oh my goodness, thank you! I am incredibly flattered.

Reviewer: BellaS (Signed) · Date: August 06, 2009 03:37 PM · On: Chapter 18

It's too bad that we don't get to see Bella develop her gift...I'll guess I'll have to look you up over on ff. I'll see you there!

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