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Reviews For First Time
Reviewer: Oleander (Signed) · Date: August 28, 2011 04:13 AM · On: Chapter 1

Oh, Margie that was wonderful, and oh so true.  You did a great job getting into her head.

Reviewer: IslandWoman221 (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2011 11:33 AM · On: Chapter 4

You have such lovely insight paired with such awesomesauce wit!! --> "Oh god, I truly feel like a teenage boy. Well, I guess technically, I am a teenage boy. But after a hundred or so years, it sort of goes against the grain to act like one."

You do his divided feelings sooo well:

"Indeed, Bella enjoys being covered in bruises from her husband, what woman doesn't."

What happened to the holey sweats? I like the holey sweats. Holey sweats are safe.

BAHAHAHAHAAAA!!  on the second and true (the ironic reverse meaning) but not in this case, buddy!

ADORE this (and can hear it as well as see it on his face which makes my inner Goddess do a happy dance with Bella's):"Nothing overtly exposed, however, enough to make my control scatter like marbles dropped on the floor."  :D

And then this is just the deligthful capper: "Yes. This woman in lingerie makes me lose my marbles."

MWHAHAHAHAAA!! --> "See? Tortured. Truly tortured and she had NO IDEA how frenzied she could make me for her. I'd grit my teeth and wait for her to fall asleep. Once she slept, she wouldn't be so apt to slide her bottom along my pelvis as I held her."   Yeah, she KNOWS.  And the sliding bottom!!  *chortles*

PERFECT END!!!  "Thank you, Emmett. I owe you a new jeep, a new fleet of jeeps."  

Thanks bb!!  VERY enjoyable way to pass an early afternoon!!!  XXOOXXOO

 



Author's Response:

I think I probably explained that orgasmic Bella, after the first time between two virgins, had me gritting my teeth. My first time was between two virgins, needless to say, it was awkward and a bit painful. I wrote the original draft in one sitting. Rowan helped me so, so much in fleshing it out, adding some humor and polishing it up.

There are definitely times where I miss the feeling of writing and posting. It was so much fun! However, writing at this point is like pulling teeth. Thus, Immured sits orpahned and I feel like a putz about it.

Glad you enjoyed it! Perhaps, I'll give it another read through and put it on on GS. Thank you so much for reading and leaving such awesome reviews!!! Viridis/M

 

 

Reviewer: IslandWoman221 (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2011 11:19 AM · On: Chapter 3

So true!! (I'm snagging it in fact! lol)  --> Anais Nin said it best; “The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery.”

I'm loving E's pov even  more than B's and that's not often true for me.  You really captured an important part of who the characters are at heart here.  And the dry self depreciating wit just rocks my socks!!  :D

Adore this line: "To bury myself in her body and die a thousand orgasmic deaths."

You may be glad you're not writing any more, but I'm gettting more bummed by the page! 

Nice save, E!  --> "The very best?" she looked up at me, her lips curving up and some of the blood leaving her face."

LMAO Yup! (Go, Bella!) -->Okay, that was very clear.

And I really liked how his self doubt about not paying enough attention to bring her to orgasm paired up with the bruises in the end to make him beyond paranoid.  And see,  he does get it.  Him pleasuring her with just his fingers would be enough for him.  Women are that way about their mens' orgasms.

Thanks for writing and sharing, bb!!!

 

Reviewer: IslandWoman221 (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2011 11:01 AM · On: Chapter 2

Loved these moments:

<"Clearly, I should put down the classic romances and done some practical reading on the topic."> Bhahahaaa!!! TRUE!  It's what I'd like to do for my daughter... once I let her out of the compound -- well and the c-belt too -- when she turns 30.  ;D  lol

<My original reason for agreeing to the wedding was for this. If only he wasn't so sensitive to my every reaction. I so wish that I could have hidden it from him, just smiled and said, "That was wonderful, dear, time for the human to sleep now".>

<You did it.” /“I did what Bella? WHAT IS IT?!” / "IT!! Oh for the love of all that's holy Edward...the end part! Orgasmed, came, jizzed, blew a load, spooged, E-JAC-U-LATED!!! / Shocked, he stiffened his embrace around me and sucked in a breath, "Oh...well...”>   ROTF FLMFAO!!!  

 

BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO, Margie!!!  MAGNIFIQUE!!!

You know, I'd not read much romance, and I knew how to get myself off but since I never even came close to a build-up to an "O" and it always just felt nice, I never expected to have a PenO.  Rather glad FF helped me fix that!  :D

Reviewer: IslandWoman221 (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2011 10:48 AM · On: Chapter 1

Seriously lmao at how delightful Bella's internal dialogue is!  this was really perfect!  I'd actually never imagined that Bella got all bruised in just a single round of sex.  I'd always pictured the... brief... breaking of her hymen in the water where he pops off like a 1 second fuse (with the water to  mitigate any blood scent) and then takes her in the house for a round two where he needs the instant reboot of a vamp to blow over and over until he figures out her cues well enough to bring her too.  That would explain all the buises and her exhaustion.  All those little climaxes happened without him loosing too much focus, but does cause him to not notice how he's running his hands all over her to distract himself, in a way that is just a touch too much to not buise Miss Insta-bruise.  The headboard comes when he gets a huge climax in reaction to her climax.  Well, in my head anyway.  :D

ADORE what you did here, bb!!!  You hit the nailhead right on!  XXOOXXOO  Adore the "What Women Want" moment where she's realizing just how helpful his mind reading would be right about then!  lol  You really NEED to post this at Giggle-Snort!!!

Reviewer: Chellie (Signed) · Date: February 11, 2011 06:11 PM · On: Chapter 4

Absolutely loved this little story!! Thank you, you've brought their first night into more of a reality than any other story I've read.

Sad enough to say, I know exactly how Bella felt in the beginning -- first time, wedding night, every time, all about the guy -- and I'm a little jealous of all the other Bella's in other stories who have it so perfect when really, it's not.

Especially loved the inner monologue from both Bella and Edward. You've managed to capture Edward's funny side in this serious moment. And I'm sad to see this end here, I was so looking forward to after the humans leave... Lol! Oh Emmett, thank you! And yes, I'm sure he does deserve a whole fleet of Jeeps! At least Edward was able to get something good out of his brother's explicit thoughts about their wives, his sisters, like that. That right there makes me glad I can't read minds.

Reviewer: Chellie (Signed) · Date: February 11, 2011 01:25 AM · On: Chapter 4

Absolutely loved this little story!! Thank you, you've brought their first night into more of a reality than any other story I've read.

Sad enough to say, I know exactly how Bella felt in the beginning -- first time, wedding night, every time, all about the guy -- and I'm a little jealous of all the other Bella's in other stories who have it so perfect when really, it's not.

Especially loved the inner monologue from both Bella and Edward. You've managed to capture Edward's funny side in this serious moment. And I'm sad to see this end here, I was so looking forward to after the humans leave... Lol! Oh Emmett, thank you! And yes, I'm sure he does deserve a whole fleet of Jeeps! At least Edward was able to get something good out of his brother's explicit thoughts about their wives, his sisters, like that. That right there makes me glad I can't read minds.

Reviewer: xiolaperry (Signed) · Date: January 28, 2010 03:55 PM · On: Chapter 1

Wow!  Finally a realistic & original first time.  Great story-  I think you had the perfect balance of humor & love, with out getting sickening sweet.  I can't wait to read more of your stories.  Keep up the originality!  I love fresh ideas.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much. I'm always quite pleasantly surprised to see a review email in my box. Makes me smile - madly. I do try to avoid the sickenly sweet....I go for as much realism as I can, being as I'm attempting to write fantasy. Truly appreciate you taking the time to read & review.

Reviewer: Gasaway Alley (Signed) · Date: September 02, 2009 09:17 PM · On: Chapter 4

Yes, my dear lady, I am the evil Incubus. I am here on my privately owned Island of Iniquity, to ravish this beautiful woman and if you don't get the hell out soon, I'll do it right before your eyes!”

The monster whispered relentlessly, “It was just a few bruises”. Oh certainly, a few, purple and blue bled across her torso, perfect imprints of my fingers staining her arms.“She didn't even feel it, she enjoyed it”.

Oh, how I love when the monster speaks!

Fuck, I'm choking on silk.

Inner mono's are always win!!! I do so loves them so.

A fantasizing titilation of teenage hormones, long overdue and kept hidden amongst gentleman and feminine wiles. Nice Margie!

 

 



Author's Response:

Just wanted to write and send you a quick thank you for taking the time to read & review my first ever fanfic story. Our RowanMoon was of great assistance in beta'ing this, especially the very end of ch 2, which was much, much funnier with her help.

I posted the original 3 chapters on FF as my first story. It was a lot of fun to write a came from my building distaste for the fact that every story I read had a post first time Bella in raptures of orgasms. Ack. I just HAD to give it a bit a realism.

 

Reviewer: Gasaway Alley (Signed) · Date: September 02, 2009 09:07 PM · On: Chapter 3

Edward, Edward, will you never stop? She loves you and doesn't mind being roughed up.

This was hoottttt, Margie! He took good care of her this time. His imagery from looking in his bro's minds was funny. You had the right mix of sexy, humor-fullness, and latently beautiful mind pictures.

 

Smooch you!

Reviewer: Gasaway Alley (Signed) · Date: September 02, 2009 08:56 PM · On: Chapter 2

I blushed again. “Come on Edward...”it”! You know. Jeez. You did it.”

“I did what Bella? WHAT IS IT?!”

"IT!! Oh for the love of all that's holy Edward...the end part! Orgasmed, came, jizzed, blew a load, spooged, E-JAC-U-LATED!!!

Bahahahaha! I laughed hard at that!!

Poor B and E. What are they going to do? must read on...

Reviewer: Gasaway Alley (Signed) · Date: September 02, 2009 08:52 PM · On: Chapter 1

Bad Sexward! Bad! I found you in Rie's siggy! Hallloooooo!

Reviewer: bookish327 (Signed) · Date: August 19, 2009 01:34 PM · On: Chapter 3

Very well-written!



Author's Response:

Well, hello again! Reading all my fluff? Ack, this was the first story I wrote. Actually, this first story I'd written since high school. I sat down and spit out the first three chapters in a couple of days. I wrote the last chapter later. Then wrote Invasive Thoughts. Then another little one-shot and now Immured. I got progressivly less fluffy.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read & review. I truly appreciate it.

 

Reviewer: housearg (Signed) · Date: August 13, 2009 05:43 PM · On: Chapter 4

great story!

Reviewer: Buckles (Signed) · Date: July 27, 2009 12:37 PM · On: Chapter 1

yes! I love this. It's so much more realistic. and hilarious.



Author's Response:

I'm so glad you liked it! That's exactly what I was going for. Thank you so much for taking the time to read & review.

Reviewer: JaspersBrand (Signed) · Date: July 11, 2009 09:58 AM · On: Chapter 4

"Holey sweats are safe."  That made me giggle!

I loved the inner monologue with Edward and his monster!  And his thoughts at the end...holy hale!  That was hot.  I think I need to borrow your Edward!

Yes people...go read Immured.  You won't be disappointed!!!

 



Author's Response:

Perhaps we can work out a deal, you know, like time share :D. Again, thank you so much for taking the time to read & review!!!.

Reviewer: JaspersBrand (Signed) · Date: July 11, 2009 09:51 AM · On: Chapter 3

Okay, first, Sookie & Eric love scenes = win!  Big time win!  I was glad when she dropped Bill like a bad habit (another fuckawesome story).  Just sayin!  Now back to your story.

Awww...Edward to the rescue.  All he needed to do was slow down & push the inner 17 year old male part of him down.  This story fits so perfectly with the origional!  Great job on that.



Author's Response:

Read the latest Sookie book yet? If not, you may realllllyyyy like it.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read & review. It really means a lot to me!!!

Reviewer: JaspersBrand (Signed) · Date: July 11, 2009 09:39 AM · On: Chapter 2

OME!  You had me rolling at the end.  You wrote Bella to a T!  With her inner monologue & tripping over her own words!  Briliant!  I can just picture her hiding behind her hair & blushing.



Author's Response:

Kari was sooooo helpful with this chapter. We chuckled madly.

Reviewer: JaspersBrand (Signed) · Date: July 11, 2009 09:35 AM · On: Chapter 1

There can never be enough honey moon storiese!  And (there's my favorite word again) this one is so totally different!  Finally someone had the courage to write a story where Edward didn't blow Bella's expectations out of the water on their first try!  I love it!



Author's Response:

Thank you. After reading all of the orgasmic ones, I felt the need to write a more "realistic" one :D.

Reviewer: sandyk199 (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2009 04:55 AM · On: Chapter 2

I guess you could say that chapter finished prematurely, but that's entirely keeping with the theme!  The chapter finished early, and I'm unsatisfied ... so now you've left me in Bella's shoes ... I like it!



Author's Response:

Yes, but it had to end that way for ch 3. Poor Bella. Poor Edward. More fluff truly. But, we all have to start somewhere.

Reviewer: sandyk199 (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2009 04:52 AM · On: Chapter 1

Steamy and hilarious all at once, I love it! The internal monologue totally won me over.



Author's Response:

Well, thank you - again. Glad you like.

Reviewer: kaaitlinanne (Signed) · Date: June 30, 2009 06:36 PM · On: Chapter 1

fabulous, fabulous, fabulous! very well written, and quite how i imagined someone would write that chapter.

5 stars out of 5



Author's Response:

Thank you so much!!! I am so very glad that you enjoyed it. I hope you like the rest as well.

Reviewer: hc4metal (Signed) · Date: June 29, 2009 01:05 PM · On: Chapter 4

great story



Author's Response:

Glad you liked it. Thank you for taking the time to review.

Reviewer: romancaholic (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2009 07:23 PM · On: Chapter 4

Unique honeymoon story.  You were right yours was different than any of the others. Enjoyed it.  Thanks for submitting it.  Keep up the good work.



Author's Response:

I am really glad to hear that you liked it. I got sick of the same old, same old. Thank you so much for taking the time to review.

Reviewer: AmberrrJune (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2009 06:34 PM · On: Chapter 3

He sure made it up to her.....I kinda like it when he loses a little control.



Author's Response:

Don't we all!!!!!

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