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Reviews For daybreak
Reviewer: Lespin01 (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 09:54 PM · On: 1: Gifted

Good chapter. I like that it didn't took a lot to explain  things.

 

Reviewer: jordynnem (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 09:40 PM · On: 10: Proof

That was hilarious.....lol funny!

Reviewer: katydid13 (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 09:21 PM · On: 10: Proof

Great chapter!

Reviewer: samantha-cullen0302 (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 01:28 PM · On: 9: Trust

what about tennis? or just go for a picnic?

Reviewer: witchykitty (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 09:15 PM · On: 9: Trust

Well done! Love this story!

Reviewer: Jessy-Anne (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 03:53 PM · On: 9: Trust

i love this story just so you know haha i was on vacation and i called my mom to see if it was updated or not haha when she said it was i wanted to come back from florida just to read it haha i think it would be cool to see a dodgeball game haha she knows they have to hold back but to see what it would be if they didnt would be cool and you could do it outdoors i dont know how the nomads would fit though haha well thats just an idea however im sure you could do the baseball scene pretty well haha :D love the story

Reviewer: bluelori87 (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 03:40 PM · On: 9: Trust

I really like the story, it is turing out really good. About the nomads, i would try to go with Football, something with contact so the sounds can be explained with the thunder. Just a suggestion though, can't wait to read more.

Reviewer: sprinkles (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 03:26 PM · On: 9: Trust

they could play football but it would still involve the thunder or maybe even kickball or soccer

Reviewer: kcrowther1115 (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 02:56 PM · On: 9: Trust

I absolutely love this story! and yes leave in the baseball game...nothing else seems to fit right. What else would all of the Cullens do and leave the house together with no escape for Bella and Edward? SM really thought that one through so stick with it! I hope to see another chapter from you soon because all things twilight are like crack to me!!!

Reviewer: nothing_is_as_it_seems (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 12:22 PM · On: 1: Gifted

YEEEESS!! I LOVE you!! lol!

Reviewer: branlc (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 11:42 AM · On: 9: Trust

Loved this chapter!!! I so glad that they declaired their love for each other. Hmmm. I think I would stick with the baseball.

Reviewer: AJ04 (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 11:23 AM · On: 9: Trust

Chapter is so well written, I was smiling quite a bit while reading it. I wouldn't mind if you tossed in a wrestling match bewteen the Cullen boys...that should be quit entertaining to read. Again can't wait to see what you come up with next.

Reviewer: Sandicus (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 11:00 AM · On: 9: Trust

Im loving this story, that Bella can read minds is awesome. I cant wait for the next chapter ............concerning the game go with your gut im sure its worked well this far many thanks

Reviewer: jaguarsolaris (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 10:20 AM · On: 9: Trust

so happy that the secret is out and that edward is staying.

Reviewer: tremington (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 09:19 AM · On: 9: Trust

Great chapter.

Reviewer: Daylen (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 08:16 AM · On: 9: Trust

I loved Edward freaking out at Bella suggesting she return to her mother!! hehe

As for the nomads, baseball or something else... hmm... I don't see a particular problem with following the same lines, although I'm not sure how you'd handle Bella being able to "read" James & co's thoughts regarding her presence etc... I can see potential for fun playing card games or even Pictionary given there's TWO mindreaders... oh, the scene with Rosalie glaring at Bella's call in the baseball game has potential for some mind-snarkiness too lol

I don't think any of that helps, really, but that's all I can say for now :S

Reviewer: Gwilwillith (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 07:53 AM · On: 9: Trust

i think keeping the baseball game in would be good because bella could hear james's thoughts and victorias'.  it could add an interesting twist. especially in later chapters!!  i like it keep up the amazing work!

Reviewer: Daylen (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 06:39 AM · On: 8: Killer

FINALLY! Secrets are out in the open, more or less! :)

The closing moments of the chapter were pretty darned funny too!

Reviewer: crackupmonkey (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 05:26 AM · On: 9: Trust

Hmm well what else do the do outside? they could try taking Bella camping or depending on the time of year swimming, Oh what about paintball - it's something you do in the woods and it's something that Bella could do as a human as well.

Good luck I'm really enjoying this story

Reviewer: werucchi (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 04:46 AM · On: 9: Trust

LOOOOOOVEEEE YOOOUUU<3

I really loved the part where Edward asked Bella how did she know about them. It was soooo cool. (even if it was in the previous chapter)

But this Port Angeles part was my abslute favorite so far <3 The shouting of Bella was cute :D

Hurry with more chaps! (no pressure)

~werucchi

 

Reviewer: Tudor1 (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 04:31 AM · On: 9: Trust

Yay! Update!

Reviewer: Gumdrop147 (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 04:24 AM · On: 9: Trust

Nooooooooooooo!

Keep baseball! I'd like to see how you write it!

;)

Reviewer: nothing_is_as_it_seems (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 04:12 AM · On: 9: Trust

I honestly don't know - i just want Bella to kick some nomad ass! lol but won't hapen =/ - r u planning on re doing all 4 books? cuase that'd be cool! lol this is soooooooo cool - it's like it could have actually happened =] ur ten stars Ma'am =]

NIAIS



Author's Response:

Yes I'm planning on doing all 4 books...already have some ideas for the New Moon AU.

Reviewer: Veritas Found (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 02:57 AM · On: 9: Trust

Aw, I really enjoyed this.  Some slight OOCness, but that's to be expected and works on the general whole.  Love your brassy Bella, too - and how you write Edward.  OH - and Rosalie!  I love how you have Rose in this, befriending her so quickly!  (I'm a sucker for what-if AUs where Rose and Bella are friends, 'cause if not for that whole don't-want-her-to-chose-to-be-vamped thing I'm sure they would've been great friends before the baby drama.)  Also love how you had Bella keep his coat, and that she needed it to get warm.  Just curious, but are you still keeping Edward's stalking nature true with the whole sneaking into her room bit?  (I hope so; part of Edward's charm is his mad stalker skills.  ;P)  Another thing on your technical aspect: parts of the fic do feel a little rushed, pace-wise, but it's not too bad and doesn't detract too much.  Just certain bits that feel like they could go a bit slower.

Aaand on your question: I'm begging you, for the love of all that is right in the world, don't change sparklepire baseball.  =C  C'mon, how can you not love sparklepire baseball?  It's so cracky and perfect as-is - you can't change it!  'Sparklepire football' or 'Sparklepire tennis' just doesn't sound as cool, does it?  'Sparklepire dodgeball', maybe, but that wouldn't be safe with a human around ('cause pfft, no balls there - they'd be using boulders!  xD).  ;P  (Yeah, my vote definitely sticks with baseball.  xP)

Reviewer: LadyKai220 (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 01:44 AM · On: 9: Trust

update soon keep me posted

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