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Reviews For daybreak
Reviewer: disparate (Signed) · Date: December 14, 2014 08:03 PM · On: Epilogue: Destiny

Sigh. A lot of thi sdidnt really flow or add up well. The original idea is excellent though. Writing skill needs development. Anyway, its likely you'll never see this considering most people have forgotten twilight. However, I see you've written a lot of other fics, and after reading half of this one... then skipping to the last few chapters because I just wanted to see how it ended and could not stand THAN and THEN,  I am not tempted in the slightest to read any more of your work. I do assume you had improved over time. 

Reviewer: Walternet (Signed) · Date: January 07, 2014 10:59 PM · On: Epilogue: Destiny

very well done... I will be looking for your other works

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2014 01:37 PM · On: Epilogue: Destiny

Hello, Mike, it’s Edward Cullen.(...)        I’m sorry, but Bella is unavailable tonight, well actually she’s unavailable every night since I will be monopolizing her.(...) You didn’t honestly believe I would allow some other male to escort my girlfriend to prom, did you? Are you blind, we’ve been inseparable for months? How can you be so delusional? She’s never going to go for an overzealous, peacock, perverted, miscreant like you.(...)  That’s where you’re wrong. It’s her decision, fully. Hope you enjoy your evening.”        Hahahah!!!  Serves Mike right!        X-)

'His eyes lingered on my pale leg longer than required and he growled softly and seductively. “Remind me to thank Alice for that dress later.”        “Oh, did you want to wear this?”'        LOL!!!!

IGNORE HIM!’ Edward had successful blocked Mike by completely monopolizing my mind with his thoughts as he assaulted my lips. ‘Think of only me, of me kissing you, of me touching you,’ that worked. ‘Damn it, Bella, no one told you to become aroused.        LOL!!  Well, in her defense, in fact he told her to.        :-P

'‘Okay, so he doesn’t seem like a vampire…but damn, she was supposed to be my girl!’(...)        I looked at the spot Jacob had disappeared at curiously.        “What did he mean by ‘you were supposed to be with him’?”        “I…have no idea.”'        Hmmm...  I wasn't going to give it much weight.  But, since the two of them became intrigued, I'm too.       

Your version was nice.  But Edward is being bossy as always.        *sigh*        I know that the next story and most of the following one are ready, so what is, is.  Anyway, I just hope Edward will come to terms with Bella's choices without being forced to it.

You are a good writer, Siren.  I enjoyed Daybreak, I will follow through the others too.        ^_^

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2014 02:41 PM · On: 24: Stalemate

 'He was both tranquil and somber then he became very strict and determined. “I will not change you, Bella.”'        Looks like he needs more convincing. I'm disappointed.

  Ok, in the books he was - to use one of his favorite words - ludicrous assumption that she couldn't possibly love him like he loved her.  Here, he knows they are soulmates of the highest order, and insists on pushing her away from him, one way or the other?  I don't think he fully grasps the concept.        :-/

  'I waited quietly for him to explain. I noticed his eyes were more of a burnt sienna color now. That’s what you get when you mix golden brown with deep red.(...)        “You know in all the years we’ve had cell phones, not once have we had to use the GPS locator on it, till now.”'        Nice.  Good eye for details.

  As always, your personal touch is refreshing.  Well done, Siren.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2014 11:28 AM · On: 23: Voices

Bella?”        “Yes?”        “Your note said he had your dad, it was a trick. Esme says he’s fine.”        “I know, I suspected as much from the beginning. I was hoping that if I gave myself up willingly, that he would leave you all alone.”        “That was a ludicrous idea -”        “Not now Edward, we need to get her out of here before we start things up.”        Yeah, not now Edward.  But I agree with him wholeheartdly.  That was like trying to protect a rhino from a rotweiller.        :-P

But I won't contest the happy ending.  As always, good job, Siren, short chapter or not.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: January 01, 2014 12:06 PM · On: 22: Sacrifice

When you’re hopelessly in love with someone you do stupid things. And this is definitely stupid.” I shrugged. “My father is in Forks isn’t he?”        Well, I have to agree with her, that WAS stupid.  In the books, at least, she was convinced he had Renee.  Did she do it that time on the off - and very off - chance that he would hurt the family?  Please!

But, as far as the scene go, you did ok, don't worry.  And, while I'm far from fluent in Spanish, the inserts seemed all right too.

Now, to the rescue scene.  I hope the whole family will scold Bella for her nonsense.        :)

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: December 31, 2013 08:21 PM · On: 21: Goodbyes

‘They’re gorgeous, wonder what Bella’s boyfriend is like. Maybe I can get him to turn to me.’        I can see why Bella didn't like her showing up.

'I balled up my fist and swung at her, not caring about the repercussions. Before my fist made contact with her face my lips were hit with a cold piece of stone. I know these lips, I dream about these lips.        ‘Ignore her, you know the truth.’        Finally, Edward you’re here. I felt my body grow weak as he deepened the kiss, he wrapped his arms firmly around my waist to keep me on my feet.'        Hahahah!!  I bet this demonstration shocked Anissa more than the punch would have.        X-}

 “Edward, what are you doing?” I fought with him to pull the blanket off but he was stronger.        “Please, for both of our sakes, cover your skin.”         “Why?” I heard a throat being cleared and I looked to Jasper. He indicated with his eyes to look down. I leaned back and noticed the reason for Edward’s discomfort.'        LOL!!!        X-D

Excellent. Here is what I want you to do. I want you to get away from your friends and take a taxi to this abandon amusement park outside town. Go to the fun house, I’ll be waiting there.”        Damn, I thought she was on the clear. That he would try it at the fun house in Phoenix.  Naughty, Siren.

These two are so alike.  Except that Bella's overprotectiveness doesn't let her think straight.  Honestly, four vampires at her side, and she really fears that James can defeat them.  Plus, she should have checked with Esme and Rose.        *tsk, tsk*

Well, let's see how it will unfold.  Your personal touches, by the way, were welcome as always.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: December 26, 2013 07:57 PM · On: 20: Visions

He knows, the tracker knows it was a trick.”        “What are you seeing?”        “Mirrors, mirrors everywhere, they’re old and dusty. It’s very dark but I can make out numerous cobwebs hanging from the low ceiling which is a dark painted wood, so is the floor. Everywhere I turn there are mirrors.”(...)        “It looks a lot like a place I went when I was twelve. I got lost inside for nearly an hour and almost broke a mirror when I tripped.”        Damn!  I knew making a stop in Phoenix wasn't a good thing.        :-[

'I cringed as a familiar, unwelcome voice hollered at me from across the terminal. Please Edward, hurry up so I don’t have to face her.'        Now who could that be?  I don't think Bella has ill fellings towards Renee, so I'm clueless.

Ok, ok, a bit dull, yes, but your little touches to the original story are always welcome.  Now, I'm curious about who called Bella.  And, since it looks like James will have his ambush in Phoenix anyway, I'm still wondering how her mind-reading will affect it.  I mean, he can't know about that, right?  So as to conceal his thoughts?

 

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: December 25, 2013 06:24 PM · On: 19: Flight

Try imagining you and me, walking on a private beach alone, us swimming together in a secluded lagoon with the sun bathing down on us…”        “With you in all your sparkling glory?”        “Hmm, yes…” his lips barely brushed along my neck when he answered and I had to say goodbye to my legs.        “Edward, I said for her to be happy, not to faint!”        LOL!!

'I ran over to Charlie and hugged him tightly. “I’ll see you in about a week.”        “Yep,” he hugged me back just as tightly. “Have fun! Just don’t come back pregnant.” ‘Of course if you got married while down there I wouldn’t mind.’        “DAD!'        LOL again!!  Heheh!  This Charlie is a little OOC, but he's funny.        :)

'‘When you’re a vampire you won’t have that problem.’        “Alice…” Edward growled her name in warning.        Alice threw her hands up in surrender. I’m seeing more and more pros to being a vampire than cons.'        Hmm, I was wondering if Edward was still being difficult about the subject.  Still stuck with his soullessness obsession, huh?  Hope he gets over it soon.  So many evidences in contrary...

His jealousy attack over her birth control at sixteen was funny, however.

Your version of the fugue is good.  When I saw the scene where Rose, this time, complied with Edward's request for clothes exchange, and when she standed between Laurent and Bella, it made me smile.  Love her like that.        ^_^

Now, to Cancun ...

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: December 22, 2013 04:01 PM · On: 18: Prey

I can’t, I recognized his bloodlust when he got a whiff of Bella. I felt the same way that first day in Biology.” There was shame in his voice and I realized what he was talking about. “Alice, did you see that? Bella is also James’s singer? Not just mine but also his.”        Wow, that is new.

Look, its spring break week. We wait for James to be nearby; I go home and tell Charlie you guys invited me away for the week. Charlie won’t call the authorities, James will know I’m leaving, and you can take me any place you want.”        Ohoho!  Way better than that awful fight!        :)

What if it takes longer than a week, what do we tell Charlie?”        “Tell him we eloped while in Mexico.”        LOL!!  Almost makes he wish for a long hunt, huh?  Come on, just a tiny part of him...

Dont' worry, Siren.  Between the inclusion of their thoughts and the little changes, no, you didn't screw up.        ;)

Hmm, I wonder how Bella's telepathy will affect James' ambush...  That and Cancun, if this is where they're really going.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: December 10, 2013 09:28 PM · On: 17: Complications

'I couldn’t help myself from laughing out loud. “Does your concern stem from the unwarranted reputation the Quileutes put on them or were you hoping I would be your son’s girlfriend?” Billy’s face turned purple at the accusation.'        Uuuuhhh...  She hit low here.        :-P

'Charlie took the large plastic bag from Edward and looked inside. His smile widened as he eyed the wrapped and perfectly labeled cuts of meat.        ‘Bella, he’s a keeper. If you don’t marry him, I will!’'        Oh, man, I didn't need that image in my head.  Charlie would be ugly in a wedding dress and bouquet in hand.        X-}

Do they cheat very much?”        “Yes – you can’t believe some of the fights they get into, and I hope you never have to witness them. You’d think they were raised by sailors.”        Decided to spare the Wolves of a barb, huh?  Well, personally I think sailors is more fitting, anyway.

'I flashed Edward an innocent smile then wrapped my fingers into his shirt and pulled him down. I thrust my lips upon his and I felt his body relax into mine.(...)        He looked a little dazed as he turned and headed for the plate. Rosalie’s hand snapped out so fast I didn’t even see the ball leave her fingers.        “STRIKE ONE!”(...)        “Hey Edward, remember what we did yesterday?”        “STRIKE TWO!”(...)        “Whose side are you on?”        I seductively ran a finger down his neck and over his chest.(...)        “Mine!” he moaned at my one word response. Then he let out a quick purr.        “KNOCK IT OFF!” everyone shouted at the same time.'        LOL!!!  My devious girl...

That was a fun rendition of the baseball game.  Well done, Siren.  I bet you cooked something interesting for the "bad trio" too.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 20, 2013 01:27 PM · On: 16: Plans

'“So, what were you looking at?” I bent down and retrieved the book from the floor. As I was turning it over to read the cover Edward reached over and snatched it.(...) My eyes went wide as I quickly read the title as we moved past, ‘Marriage Proposals That Work’. Did he honestly think a book could help change my mind?'        Heheheh!  Self-help books...  He must be desperate.        X-}


EDWARD, I am not looking at a Porsche.”        “Buzz kill! They have others.”        “And not a Mercedes, a Lexus, a Ferrari, a Lamborghini or a Viper.”        “Well geesh Bella, what can we look at?”        “Think about something that suits me, not something you feel like spending a fortune on.”        *snickers*        I imagined he wouldn't give up so easily.  And she couldn't find anything fitting.  Will it have to be another Chevy 56 to please her?  Good thing for him she likes old stuff.        :-P


'“What do you think?”        I was speechless for a good minute. My mouth opened and closed several times but my voice failed to work. I felt a lone tear of blissfulness escape my eye. I saw Edward flinch when the salty droplet fell down my cheek.        “That bad huh…”        Before he could misunderstand further I assaulted his lips, kissing him more passionately than we ever had in the last two days.        That was the most breathtaking song ever. Debussy, Beethoven, Bach…they have nothing on you.'        When they found out they could "hear" each other while kissing, they thought it would bring problems.  So far, it looks more like a blessing than a hindrance.        ^_^


I positively like how close you put these two, how less restrained they are with each other.  Well done, Siren!  But did Bella just ask what could go wrong?  Famous last words.  Good thing she didn't say them out loud, but I'm affraid she will find out anyway.        :-]

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 17, 2013 06:27 PM · On: 15: Interruptions

'Edward leaned back with an apathetic look. I covered my eyes with my arm and debated whether or not to cry. I moaned and whimpered unhappily.(...)        “I bet you don’t have this problem.”        “Well no but my eyes change color. If you eat something you’ll feel better about this.(...) Please Bella; we were interrupted for a reason. You’re obviously hungry. Here, have a strawberry.”'        That was the interruption?  I was expecting Alice;  even an earlier appearance of the nomads.  Not this.  HAHAHAHAHAAAHHH!         X-D


'I closed my eyes and thought over everyone’s abilities and the fact that they had been heightened when they became vampires. Edward had said he was sensitive to people around him then later he could read minds. If I could already read minds than what would that mean when I turned. How could my ability possibly be intensified?'        Now that's an intriguing question.  At the very least, she will be more powerful than him, have a greater range.  And who knows *sideways glance to the author* what else?


So the lion and the lamb fell in love with each other.”        “I’m the lamb aren’t I?”        “Normally I would say yes…” Edward chuckled softly. “But today I feel like the edible little lamb.”        LOL!!  Bella, naughty girl...        :-}


The ‘twin soul’ or ‘twin flame’ consists of two centuries old soulmates, one of the first pairs of soulmates that existed. The twin soulmates have more difficulties in finding each other than normal soulmates do."(...)        “Bella…” Rosalie said my name softly and smiled. “Your reaction to Edward’s touch is because you two are a pair of twin souls. When you faint or swoon or act differently it’s your body and soul reacting to eh completion of the soul.(...) Are you having difficulty not touching the other?(...) I’ve been watching you two and you can’t. I think it’s equal parts new love and twin souls finally reunited.”        Just like Bella read.  And I don't tire to say I love your Rose.


A great day, with a perfect closing, and a lovely family to share it with.  Hard to believe it could be better.        ^_^

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 16, 2013 02:09 PM · On: 14: Torture

'I smiled back at him then noticed the medium sized waterfall about thirty feet behind him. It wasn’t large enough to draw attention from the public. It was like those small falls you see in romance movies. The falls rested on the far side of a small meadow. The area was about thirty feet wide in diameter, just the right size for a private rendezvous. The grasses were ankle high and little purple and white flowers were mixed in everywhere. Everything was beautiful.'        Beautiful indeed.  You redecorated!  The waterfall was a nice touch.        :-]


'I was getting frustrated by his lack of answer. Without thinking, I leapt onto him, straddling his hips. He immediately stopped laughing and looked at me with wide frantic eyes.        “Don’t worry, I won’t do anything if you tell me what I want to know.”(...)        “Bella, are you being possessed?” he groaned loudly when I started laughing at his question. “Bella!” he growled my name and looked at me like he was in pain.'        Oh, and that was sooo effective.  Heheheh!        X-}


He was more open with his answers than I expected, "torture" or not.  Especially about the whole "mate for eternity" and the transformation in vampire stuff.  I'm really glad he didn't mess things up with the old "you must have a normal, healthy, happy human life", "I won't take your soul away" spiel.


All in all, loved your meadow scene version.  Seriously!  And I'm really liking that they have the option of reading each other's mind if they choose so.  There's the cliffie in the end, of course, but I'm lucky it doesn't apply to me.        ;-P

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 15, 2013 02:14 PM · On: 13: Reality

'He gently held my cheeks in his hands and gave a small crooked grin. “There’s nothing to apologize for. I’m extremely happy that you’re having fantasies about only me. I just wish you could  tell the difference between real and fake…but I understand why you couldn’t, and I’m sorry.” He then pressed a sweet and affectionate quick kiss on my lips. “It’s pretty sad that I got jealous of your dream version of me.”'        Well, he have no one to blame but himself, for her doubting that last night could be real.        :-T


You know, you scared me for a second.  I was so sure the "dream" was real, and his reaction made me think it wasn't.  You're mean, Siren.        :-P


'I broke the kiss by turning my head and looking out the window.(...) Edward didn’t say anything while he let me think.(...)        I grabbed his face and pulled him down to mine. Chilly lips to swollen hot ones.        Can we really read each other’s minds, while kissing?        ‘It would seem so.’ I pulled his face back and looked into his glazed over eyes.(...)        “This is going to create some problems.”'        Hahahah!  I imagine it will.  At least they have the option.


Angsty beginning, happy closure (I imagine Emmett talked some sense into that fool), so I'm happy too.  And now, his special place, huh?  I imagine he's talking about the meadow.   Hmm...  Most of the things that happened there in the book already happened elsewhere.  Wonder how your version will be...

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 12, 2013 10:46 PM · On: 12: Dream

'“So the guy in the Volvo, was he one of the Cullen’s?” Maybe it was just me but Jacob’s question seemed almost rhetorical. ‘He seems like a wimp. Wonder how long till she gets another car? Then she won’t need them anymore.’        I felt anger starting to pool in my veins.(...)        ‘What’s with the one word answers? Is she always this verbal?’ only with people I like do I actually talk.(...)        ‘Is she going as a friend or as dinner?!’        “You’re a hypocrite!”'         Hm-hm-hm!  Looks like Jacob Black and Bella Swan won't be such great friends this time.  At least right now it doesn't.  His thoughts remind me of Mike a bit.  Just not so much on the creepy side.


'“Glad you like it. This will be your home too…if brother dear doesn’t screw it up.”(...)        ‘I am so happy he found someone…and WOW, she’s not even a vampire yet and she’s stunning.’(...)        “Don’t look at me like that. We’re doing this for the both of you. If you’re planning on spending forever in this family you need to get used to the makeovers.” Alice then looked at me hesitantly. “You are planning on being with Edward forever? With us?”(...)        ‘Don’t worry about him. If need be, any of us would change you in a blink of an eye. Just say the word. But after high school ok?'        Awesome!  Looks like the whole family is on her side on it.  That's really reassuring, especially after Edward's cold water bucket last chapter.        :-]


'Surprisingly the room filled with the song ‘Shut Up and Drive by Rihanna.’        “ROSE!”        “I was curious.”'        Hahahah!  You did a great job with Rose, Siren.  I love that this time she likes Bella, but somehow is still Rose.        ^_^


''‘I can’t believe this is happening. I’ve only imagined what kissing her would be like. I’m loving this.’        Wow, my dream was really going all out tonight. First hearing Alice and now hearing Edward’s thoughts.(...)        This had definitely been one of my best dreams…next to my wet dream the other night.        ‘Did she just say she had a wet dream?’(...)        That really was a great dream, too bad it wasn’t real. Well maybe tomorrow we can make my dream a reality.'        Heheheh!  I'm very inclined to think that she will have a very embarassing surprise when she wakes up.        X-}

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 10, 2013 07:32 PM · On: 11: Dazzle

'As the room was plunged into darkness I became hypersensitive to Edward’s closeness and touch. The air around us suddenly felt charged with electricity.(...)        I then felt a chilly finger trail up my arm to my shoulder then back down. My breath caught in my throat and held. His cold fingers left a hot trail up and down my arm. My body started to tingle and heat up exponentially.(...)         I could hear my heart skip several beats and my breathing became erratic.'        Torture.  Heheheh!


EMMETT… GRAB HER!”(...)        “Why do you want me to grab her anyway?”        “Because something happened last period and she won’t tell me what it is. Edward just walked off holding his binder in front of himself.”        ‘Wow, you gave Edward a boner! So he does have feeling down there.’        “EMMETT!”        LOL!!!


Bella?”        I turned to face a very confused Jasper. “Hmmm?”        “How…Were you not dazzled?”        “I thought that’s what you were doing. I tried to play along but no, I wasn’t affected in the slightest bit.”(...)        “You’re immune to being dazzled.”        “But what about Edward? What would you call what he does to me?”        “Love maybe? I’m not sure. I’ll have to do some research. But either way…enjoy each other.”        Heheheh!  I can't believe Rosalie and Jasper thought it would work.        :-}


'“Would I really become more graceful?”        “Yes…” Edward threw me a commanding look. “And no…you’re not changing!”        “But why?”        “I won’t take you life…or your soul.”        Edward’s last words were said firmly to imply it was the end of the subject. Oh well, I knew six other vampires, I’m sure one of them will help me.'        Damn!  Looks like he isn't that lighter after all.  But it's good that she isn't fretting, that she's open to alternatives.        ;)


'I glanced back at the car before going inside. Edward hadn’t moved an inch. Could a vampire go into shock? That quick peck was just a precursor. I WILL be kissing my boyfriend this weekend, even if I have to enlist Emmett to hold onto him for me.'        Hah!  I would like to see that.  Wonder if Edward would put up that much of a resistance, though.        :-P 


I see Edward will still give her a hard time...

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 10, 2013 01:11 PM · On: 10: Proof

I can already tell that you like him. So, how much?”        “Painfully so.        I’m sure more then he likes me though.”        “But didn’t he confess. Why do you think he doesn’t feel as much as you do?”        “He’s always so calm and collected around me. With me, if I just hear his voice I’m Jell-O”        Interesting.  Same thing that was in the book, different reason.  Did I already say I like your little twists?        :)


Trust me when I tell you I’m not ‘together.’ I fight with myself everyday not to attack you, both as a vampire and as a man. Since the first day you arrived in Forks and I realized you were my soulmate and my singer all I could think was ‘not her.’ But I soon discovered you were the best thing that could have happened to me.(...) I’ve spent nearly ninety years alone. Now that I’ve found someone to love, I’m going to love her with every fiber of my being.”        Neat.


To borrow your words: never, EVER, question or joke about my feelings for you…Deal?” All I could do was nod. “Good!” he then placed a gentle kiss on my neck, just below my ear.        “You have got to stop doing that!” My voice broke as I talked. “Or I’m going to need a wheelchair to get around.”        LOL!!!


‘Hmm, we know she knows we’re vampires, her and Edward are finally together, I know she’s completely in love with him. I wonder what else there could be to say? There’s no way she can be pregnant, not with how prude Edward is. Can a vampire impregnate a human, hmmm…?’        Another interesting tidbit.  Looks like they aren't under the (wrong) impression that this is impossible.  Hmmm...


Hey Eddie, we’ll cover for you. Just take her into the woods and devirginize the both of you.        “SHUT. UP. EMMETT!”        Everyone went silent and looked at me then to Emmett and back to me.(...)        OH. MY. GOD!        NO WAY!        Not another one.        She can’t be a telepath too?!        LMAO!!!!  Oh, man, I bet that wasn't exactly how she was planning to break the news to them.        X-D


‘Oh Bella… Well they may be dating now but they don’t look all that cozy. Maybe Cullen forced her into the relationship. I seriously doubt it will last. Edward seems to be a player; he’ll dump her in a week. And I’ll be there to pick up all the pieces and she’ll be in my bed within the month, I can’t wait!’        Mike.  Hmph!        >:-|


'I walked to class repeating the same three words over and over in my head. Stupid virgin vampire, stupid virgin vampire, stupid virgin vampire…'        Heh!  Can't blame her.  Geez, did he never, at least, saw a movie or read a book with a romantic scene in it?  He's unbelievable.


Good chapter, Siren.  I hope Bella sets Edward straight soon.        ;)

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 05, 2013 09:46 PM · On: 9: Trust

'He was trembling and his voice was quiet. His arms tightened slightly. “Please…don’t ever say you’ll leave again.” His arms shifted a little and moved to cup my face. “I’ll tell you what ever you want, just don’t go anywhere.”(...)        Suddenly a pair of icy lips gently kissed my neck. His arms tightened as my legs gave out.(...)        “I wanted you to like me on your own not because you feel it’s been ordained.”(...)        “So are we a couple now?”        “God I hope so! Unless I’m in love with a different human and you love another mythical creature. Wait you didn’t mean Jacob Black did you?!”'        Freely admiting his feelings, not trying to push her away (quite the opposite), not second guessing his self-control every second...   Ah, isn't this way better than 'I don't want to hear that you feel that way'?        ^_^


'I quickly dressed in my night clothes and leapt into my bed. I pulled my blankets around me firmly to keep warm, but still I shivered.        Frustrated, I sat up and reached for Edward’s jacket. I laid it out over my blankets like it was a priceless shroud. I scooted back down into my blankets and pulled the coat closer to my face. I breathed in Edward’s fascinating fragrance and the shivers stopped.        Okay, Edward was never getting his coat back now.'        Heheheh!  I love the little quirks you put in this story.


I enjoyed this chapter a lot, Siren.  To tell you the truth, I really like your style overall.  Let's see how things will go from here.        :-]

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 02, 2013 07:40 PM · On: 8: Killer

'The images going through that last guys head as he remembered scared me more than any Mike had of me. I wasn’t the first to be victimized by him. There were other faces as he remembered back.'        Aha!  So, she can perceive more than just thought words, huh?  Ok, good.  And her pale knight saved her from joining that galery of sad faces, as expected.  Nothing to complain about here.        ;)


 “Distract me, just talk randomly so I don’t turn around and hunt them down.”        “Um…  Mike asked me out Monday.”        “WHAT?!”        *snickers*        Interesting, you using Mike here instead of Tyler.  But, I guess since the van incident wasn't as close as in the books, he didn't bother Bella afterwards.  Your attention to details is commendable, Siren.        :-]


'“I seriously don’t understand.”        “Understand what?”        “How you seem to unconsciously yet thoroughly manage to dazzle people. I’m pretty sure the hostess is hyperventilating. And I could tell you weren’t even trying.”        “From what I understand, you should be an expert on my dazzling abilities.” He then put on his crooked smile.        Oh god, swoon maybe. I’m going to have to make him wear a paper bag over his head just so I could make it through the night…or a day even.'        LOL!!!


So, he figured out her puzzle by himself.  Well, doesn't look like he will run away (at least for now).  Except that he didn't say the "V" word yet...  Well, let's see what happens in the way to Forks this time.  That was a very well made version of the Port Angeles events, Siren.        ^_^


 

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: October 31, 2013 10:12 PM · On: 7: Three

'I heard the wolf start to growl but I ignored him. I leaned my head back enough so I could look into Edward’s hypnotic gold pools. I placed a hand on his frigid shimmering cheek. I softly recited the four words that have been taunting me for a while now. “I’ll love you forever.”(...)        “NO Jacob, he isn’t dangerous. STOP THIS!” Jacob wasn’t listening; his black eyes were filled with rage. Edward covered me like a protective shield as the maddened wolf pounced on us. “NO…..”'        Interesting version of The dream.


 “Bella…are you ok?” I felt a small gentle hand rest on my shoulder. I looked up to see Angela standing next to me, worry written all over her face.        “I’m fine…just some serious thinking.”        “I think there’s more to it then that. You looked like you were about to cry. Does Edward have anything to do with it?”        “Hm, yeah. He wants to know my secrets but he won’t tell me his. I don’t think he trusts me.”        “I think he trust you plenty. How many guys do you know will let a girl drive their car? What I do think is maybe he’s scared of how you’ll react to finding out. Even if you tell him you’ll be fine, that fear is always there.”        Angela is always one of my favorites.        :)


'I wrenched my arm from his grasp then glared fiercely at him. “Edward has nothing to do with my decision. I just don’t like playboys that think they’re all that with hidden agendas. I’m from a much bigger place then this, I’ve seen thousands of your kind and it’s always the same trail of thoughts.(...) Read my lips, I. DON’T.LIKE.YOU!” I heard clapping and turned to see Angela and Jessica applauding me.'        And I join the crowd.        *applauses*


'“If I told him what I wanted from him then he would instantly know what I was keeping from him. If I told him what I knew before he trusted me enough to tell me on his own, all of you might leave and never return.”(...) I was pulled from my thinking by three loud words.        “OH. MY. GOD! How did…”        “Alice please don’t say anything to Edward, other then my message. Please, can I trust you to keep silent?”        “But Bella, how did you find out?” she was starting to panic now.'        Well, heheh, at least one of them got it.        ^_^


Good chapter!  But something Bella told her mother made me curious.  That with her ability, it was impossible for her to like any boy.  I wonder if Edward would be an exception, or if silence is fundamental...  I like to think he would be an exception.  Most of the time.        :-]

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: October 27, 2013 06:55 PM · On: 6: Legends

Do me a favor this weekend?” I stared at him quizzically. “Be careful! No falling in the ocean.”        I lifted my head proudly. “I’m always careful! Gravity just doesn’t like me.”        *snickers*        I like her tirades.        X-)


'“BELLA!” I heard a cheerful, boyish voice yell my name and I looked to see a boy of about sixteen come running around the house from a make shift garage. Before I had a chance to react I was encircled by surprisingly strong arms. “It’s been so long. You look good.” ‘Really good!'        And there he is.


'“She’s getting rides from the Cullens. She even eats with them at lunch.” Oh god, I recognize that voice. Unlike Jacob, I didn’t look up. Could Mike be anymore vindictive?        “Hi Mike.” I tried to hide the malice in my voice.        ‘Oh no she’s with another guy. What happened to Edward Cullen? Is she playing them both…what about a threesome?’'        Bleh.


'“I’m going to Port Angeles to buy a dress, Jess is going too. But I was hoping you would come with us and give me some honest criticism.” ‘Please go, please say you’ll go. Jess would only belittle me.’'        Port Angeles, huh?  Guess I know now when Edward will fulfil her puzzle, whether he figured it out or not.        :)


'“Apparently my great grandfather struck a treaty with Carlisle, the leader. We wouldn’t kill them if they agree to not hunt on Quileute lands.” Jacob looked down at me to see if I had responded at all. “The elders of the tribe believe the same tribe as before has returned. The Cold Ones as they call them, the bloodsuckers, the vampires…the Cullen’s.” ‘Not even a flinch. What the heck? Does she not care or does she already know?’ “But I think they’re just superstitious old fools.”        Hypocrite! But he was right, on both accounts. I ‘did’ already know they were vampires and I ‘didn’t’ care what they were.'        Uh-hu-hu!  This time, telling the legend didn't earn Jacob points with Bella.  Hmm...  He seems to be more prone to believe the legends than in the book, though.


Well, I don't know why the girls thought this would be an interesting week, but Port Angeles will certainly fit the bill.  I certainly will like to see Edward discovering Bella's own little quirks.  Nice chapter!        ^_^


 

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: October 22, 2013 09:38 PM · On: 5: Souls

'Mike grabbed my bag then held on to my waist as he led me out the door. As soon as we were outside in the cool air I pushed Mike away and leaned against the wall.        ‘She felt so good. I would love to have her in my bed.'        Doesn't that creep think of anything else?  I wonder how dangerous he really is.  If he just have a sewer of a mind or if he would go too far with Bella, were the circunstances favorable to him.        :-/


'Without turning around I heard Edward speed away. He was obviously furious and very befuddled. But if he is really my soulmate then he had to tell me he was a vampire before I could tell him my vampire jokes. I smiled to myself as I went inside. I’m really starting to believe in that soulmate stuff; I wonder how Edward feels about it…and me.'        Ah, l'amour, toujour l'amour.  Nice to see them cozier with each other.  Didn't Edward figure out Bella's gift yet?  I thought he did, or was very close to.  From there to admit he's a vampire would be just a small step.  Would be obvious, then, that she already knows.


All in all, another nice chapter.        ^_^

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: October 21, 2013 12:34 PM · On: 4: Together

'“Will you please share the joke with me?” He said it so seductively I thought my legs would crumble beneath me.        “Sure…when the time is right.”(...) I heard his palms hit the top of the car and him shout.        “What the hell?” A few seconds later he was in his seat looking obviously pissed and frustrated.(...)        Rosalie leaned over and whispered to me as she watched her brother’s expression. “What’s wrong with him?”        “He’s pouting because I foiled his effort to dazzle me this morning.”        “Good girl.” Alice squeezed my shoulders.'        Heheh!  Touchy, touchy.  A baby indeed.        :-T


'Edward had said, “Rest of your life.” Was that natural born life or immortal life?'        Good to see they made peace (can't believe he put her in the ice for a month over that).  But I doubt he's that OOC to make things easy on her about immortality.  Good thing this isn't just up to him.        ;)


Class sounded good. I heard the laughing from my Spanish class. What happened?”        “Bella made a basket.”        “That’s great…”        “We were playing dodge ball.”        BWAHAHAHAHAAAHH!!        X-D


 They are getting closer.  I'm curious to see the big reveal...  which will be very old news to Bella.        :-]


I was noticing a thing.  Bella can only perceive thought words, right?  While Edward, from what we saw in Midnight Sun, can perceive the whole spectrum of thought, as in words, underlying meaning, images and feelings, Bella is more limited, isn't she?

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2013 11:52 PM · On: 3: White

'“Are you ok?” Edward asked incredibly softly then checked the rest of me for damage.        “Yeah…I’m ok…what happened?” I attempted to stand up but Edward refused to let me move.        “No getting up. You might have hit your head.” He started to check my skull for injuries.'        Ah, yes, Tyler's van.  And here he is, preemptively throwing the head injury cover, in case she saw too much.  And she didn't even see a thing this time.  Not that she needs to.        :-]


'I couldn’t help but stare angrily at Emmett for his cruel thoughts.(...)        “What did I do?”        “Never mind.” I heard him trying to retrace his steps and words to see if he had upset me recently. He was coming up blank. I then noticed Edwards’s perplexed expression going between me and Emmett.'        Heheh!  She's offering some dots for him to connect.  He will soon figure it out too, I guess.


'I looked directly at Edward.(...) He has to have the same ability as I do. How about we test it? Hey Edward, do you realize you’re the hottest guy on this planet and I’ve fallen hard for you. How about we drop your sister’s off at school and we go make out. I’ll even let you have a snack.(...)        ‘Um Edward. I think Bella was just thinking of some really strange plans for the two of you. The vision of her just went haywire.’'        BWAHAHAHAAH!  Alice either saw something very hot, or very grisly,  or maybe hot followed by grisly.  I wonder which one...        X-D


For as long as I can remember; I’ve been able to smell blood within a twenty foot radius.”        I always thought this peculiarity of hers intriguing.  Doesn't look like she is sickened by the smell in this version, however.


'When they finally reveal their secret to me, that will be my first question. How old are they really. Oh my god, have I fallen for someone old enough to be my great grandfather? Does the fact that he doesn’t look it count?'        It better not.        :-P


Good chapter.  Maybe some of them are a little OOC (ok, Rosalie is a lot, but I like her that way), but not so much that they aren't still themselves.  I look forward for when they figure Bella out.  Especially about her having already figured them out.        ^_^

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