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Reviewer: Merrisol (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 07:03 PM · On: Unspoken Truths
Damn, girlfriend. That was a hard pill to swallow. I'm almost afraid to find out what is going to happen next. I know it can't be good. Secrets always come out, one way or another, and usually at the most inconvenient times. I still love, love, love the story though. The fact that Jasper is now dragging Alice around by her pussy just cracks me up! The madman, however, was not very nice in this chapter. Perhaps a spanking is in order, ya think???
Author's Response: *The Madman walks in, already undoing his jeans* You want to spank me, baby? Fuck yes...
Reviewer: justareader (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 06:48 PM · On: Unspoken Truths
I'm sure this chapter is really great, but I can't seem to get the text to fit my screen properly. It's weird, because I went back to some of the other chapters and they all fit normally. Oh well, it might just be my computer. I'll come back later to check it out. Great story if I haven't said that already!
Reviewer: instantkarmagirl (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 06:42 PM · On: Alice, Asstard and Piss-Girl
Just joined the party, lovin' it so far. Good use of the work fuckstick...that word pops in my head in the middle of business meetings, so I love seeing it in print.
Poor, Edward. This is what Rob Pattinson goes through. Poor Rob.
Thanks for writing and posting. I like it!
Reviewer: Chriscrew (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 06:33 PM · On: Unspoken Truths
wow, that was...INTENSE. Now, I'm on the edge with anticipation of the next chapter. I have a really bad feeling about it....dreading it actually. I hope Bella won't be harmed...hasn't she been through enough? You are a fantastic writer!
Author's Response: Baby, I'm sorry, but I can't promise that I'm not gonna hurt Bells just a teesie bit more. But I DO promise that is will all work out in the end, so never fear.
Reviewer: mellovesyou (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 06:21 PM · On: Unspoken Truths
OH SHITSKY. cliffie!? oh no you did not! no worries.. i still worship you. fuckawesome m'lady. IS THAT GUY THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY!? OH NOOOOOOSSSS. not goodsies. cantwaitformoreohmegosh.
Author's Response: Baby, thanks for making me laugh! You're hilarious!
Reviewer: justareader (Signed) · Date: July 05, 2009 02:39 AM · On: Alice, Asstard and Piss-Girl
I have been planning on reading this story for a while now, but for some reason kept avoiding it. Maybe because it smelled like piss? Okay, bad joke, I'm running on zero sleep. Anyway. I finally am reading it and it is hilarious. I love the whole twisted type 'boy rescues girl but girl can take care of her own damn self' thing. I also find the screamers quite funny, as they are reminiscent of a select group of book/movie fans. In a way I'm glad I caught on to this later on, as now I get to read tons of chapters without waiting for an update. Thank you for a truly entertaining fic!
Reviewer: yesyov (Signed) · Date: July 04, 2009 05:20 AM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
OMG!!
OMFG!!
x Leisa II
Author's Response: Babe, please, don't ramble on like that, I mean, really, you're embarrassing yourself. I have better things to do than read your demented meanderings about how fucking good I am. Heh heh.
Thanks for the love honey!
Reviewer: JazzValentine (Signed) · Date: June 30, 2009 05:43 AM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
This has got to be one of the best stories I've ever read. I almost never write reviews here, and when I do, the stories are amazing. I love Alice and Dr. Mc*Insert adjective here*, and Bella and Edward are so hot! I have to say my all time favourite is the Madman. Definantly the Madman. You are such an amazing writer. Update soon!
Author's Response: Hey Jazz,
I'm so honored that you broke your "no reviewin'" rule for me - I love hearing from new peeps, and your very kind words gave me happy face.
Please, keep reveiwing the chapters, just for me - pwetty pweeeease *Bats eyelashes and give most fuck-awesome 'cute-face' ever seen by human eyes.*
I'll be looking for you! And so will the Madman - fucking perv.
Reviewer: scottslass (Signed) · Date: June 29, 2009 07:49 PM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
Wow....your Jasper is HOT as fuck!
Author's Response: Glad you like sexy Dr. McHottie hon - he'll be hanging around for a while and getting even hotter - just for you.
Thanks for the love.
Reviewer: Hawklore (Signed) · Date: June 29, 2009 03:18 PM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
Eep, muchas apologias for my reviewfail L. Just dawned on me that I hadn't actually reviewed the last chappy. Bad bad Hawk. Please don't loose the Madman on me, you know he makes me nervous...
Crotchsplosion - a fantastical and very descriptive term. Pics of Rpattz should come with "WARNING: spontaneous crotchsplosion inevitable" label
You've pulled off another amazingly hot pairing here in Jalice. I mean, Asstard and PissGirl (AssPiss? Tardgirl?) are always going to be my OTP, but I am muchely taken with Alice and Dr McHottsper. Fecking Mrs Gruber and her cockblocking Mu Mu. The phone schmexin made up for it though - phewee! Alice has fairly met her match in the real live (non plastic nor battery operated) Jasper. Your Alice and her verbal splurging (the wonder of no filter!) had me in stiches as always - hard to pick my fave Alice line but if I had to narrow it down, I'd say that "and tried not to squelch as I walked away." made me giggle for an indecent length of time. And the whole dropping of the phone and Jasper's "With the exception of the fact that I have excellent phone-gripping skills." came a close second...
And nestled snugly betwixt all the Jalice goodness was some serious Edward and Bella business. The snark was stellar as always - Bella selling Edward down the river to Renata and Heidi was priceless! "Instant soft-on" goes directly to the Kiya Hall of Fame for fantabulous phrases.
Charlie. Ah, Charlie... bless 'im. I *knew* Bella would take care of him. Just knew it. The whole surrogate father thing really was sweet, though obviously it ended up a smidge awkwardly when he dropped a bit of a clanger there...
The whole Jess Stanley murder/ Edward's reaction thing gave me chills. There wasn't just one shadow here, was there? (more like four/fore I'd say)
I loved that Bella is still looking out for Charlie. Between her setting Charlie up with his wee pad, and employing the Screamer to look after him, Bella comes off beautifully here. She knows how to look out for people and has such a good heart, despite all the crap she's been through. I heart Piss girl, I really do...
Bella and Edward are taking fairy steps towards getting their cards on the table, but at some point they are just going to have to leap in there and start talking. I can totally understand the fear of laying it all out there - they have been doing so fantastically well together on a superficial level, it must be a worry to think about rocking the boat. But they've got to suck it up and deal sometimes soon because otherwise their many issues are likely to bite them on the bum. Bella was entirely right for calling Edward on his shiz this chapter too. It's not just Bella that needs to come clean about her past/issues - Edward has a fair old whack of fessin' up to do also...
Reviewer: CleanEco (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2009 08:43 PM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
Love the story, madman or no madman involved... although he does make it more fun sometimes. Glad to see that this chapter had hints about Bella's past. Hope B & E open up to one another soon. At least Alice had a good chapter.
Reviewer: CullenDreamer (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2009 03:12 PM · On: Breakfast & Belching
So....how old are your Bella and Edward?
And:
Can I just say, and hopefully this isn't shallow, how much I adore cussing AH Edward and Bella? Or maybe I should qualify that and add 'your' Edward/Bella. Not everyone can pull it off and it doesn't fit in with every story. Love this set up so far. Looking forward to more. This is definitely being added to my Fav Alert thingy ;-)
Author's Response: My Bella is 21 and Edward is 24/25. Alice is 23. Hope that helps
I'm so glad you like the cussing. Quite frankly, I'm pretty incapable of expressing myself without it, so that works out well!
I'm glad you've mastered the Fav Alert thingy - that shit is technical!
Reviewer: CullenDreamer (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2009 03:01 PM · On: The Alley
"I went back to my piano and started playing country and western songs. The day had gone to shit anyway, might as well give it a soundtrack…"
Awesome. Pure genius. You have won my readership. Of course, the inclusion of rockstar Edward doesn't hurt, but dissing country music at the same time makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
Author's Response: Awww baby, I'm so glad to have you onboard for my crazy train to drama-ville. Let me know what you think along the way - I love new reviewers.
Thanks for the love.x
Reviewer: AppLeOfMyyEyee93 (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2009 12:16 AM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
Jebus! I am so glad that we get to see inside Alice's head! I think she is my fave character.... Seriously, though. If Edward and Bella don't get over themselves fucking fast and lay it on the table about their past shenanigans they are basically in a shithole without a plunger. Those two need mass doses of Prozac for the way they flip/flop on each other. I about pissed my pants when Alice started yelling at Bree. CANT YOU SEE IM IN THE MIDDLE OF A VERY IMPORTANT INNER FUCKING MONOLOGUE!!!!!! Homygosh. Geniusness on a stick. Also, Charlie is my bitch. I would totally steal his hat though. Oh man. You should totally put something in here about someone stealing Charlie's hat and what he would do!!! That would be comic gold. Can't wait for an update! <3
Reviewer: jdhsmomth (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2009 12:10 AM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
Love this story! I have to tell you that I want Edward to rid hisself of the madman. I feel the madman tortured E and I don't like it. I will be glad when B and E get to the point where they can spill their guts to each other and get on with the being happy. Love the lemons. Your E is definitly sexy. I can't wait to see a happier Alice also. Love sexy talking Jasper. Looking forward to the next update!
Reviewer: Kolene (Signed) · Date: June 27, 2009 11:41 PM · On: The After-Party
Ok, the two guys getting caught was funnier than hell. I loved it and for pictures to be taken..... You're brillant. I loved this chapter and I'm certainly hooked.
Reviewer: KelseyJane (Signed) · Date: June 27, 2009 04:07 PM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
LMFAO! That chapter was freaking hot! I loved the whole Jasper/Alice scene! Too freaking amazing! You are one talented chica, I swear to God. That and the interaction with the madman is freaking hilarious! I don't know if my reviews are kick ass enough for you to check out my profile, but my story isn't on here yet, it's currently being validated so fingers crossed on it being accepted. Great story hun, I love every freaking bit of it!
Especially Bree's part. "Did she just fucking play me like a violin? That clever little bitch" LOVE IT!
Author's Response: Hey baby. As usual, you are far too fucking kind.
Hey, I'm thrilled that you'll be posting soon - I can't wait to check it out.
Thanks for the love.
Reviewer: Merrisol (Signed) · Date: June 27, 2009 03:38 PM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
Frankly, I miss the Madman. I believe I actually dated him at one point in time. Let me tell you something ladies, he was the BEST fuck I ever had. I couldn't control him though. I have never been fingered and/or fucked in so many inappropriate places in my life. He didn't have a conscience but he did have a constant hard-on. You would think it would be something you would never get tired of ... not true. He used it like a weapon to tease me straight into insanity. He poked me in the back with it so many times that I still have a permanent dent to this very day. Where girls normally have those cute dimples ... I have a dent, right smack dab in the middle. I have my own personal dick dent.
Sorry I got a bit off topic there. I think you are doing a wonderful job with this story. It is interesting and intense. Love the Jasper/Alice twist. Now, please let the Madman come back out and play. I want everyone to have a dick dent like me!! Just sharing the love!
Author's Response: Holy shit Merri, a fucking dick dent? That's the hottest mental imagery I've had in a long while!
The Madman says he remembers dating you, and says it's all your fault he had a constant hard-on. He's sorry it didn't work out, but apparently you wore him out with your insatiable sexual appetite. He is, however, willing to fuck you every now and then for old time's sake. Christ, he's such an asshole.
Thanks for the love babes.
Reviewer: justinsgrl22 (Signed) · Date: June 27, 2009 01:22 PM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
Oh yeah, baby...any chance Dr. Hale really moonlights as a phone sex operator just waiting for horny 40 somethings such as myself to call?(because all that shit about hitting your peak in your 40's IS NOT A LIE...pant, pant....and we could all use an orgasm like Alice just had!). Although ff J and A don't fuck each other soon I'M going to explode. Hot, hot, hot action!
The Bella/Edward angst was perfect...men in particular want to know all about your past but then when you tell them they freak out. So glad that Bella didn't cave and made Edward live for a moment in her fear and shame by touching on his own. Gotta walk in another's shoes to really understand them, right?
Just so you know, I haven't addreseed anything to the Madman because he makes me nervous (in a hot ass, totally deliciious way...wink, wink) ~ but since I did let you know how much I LOVE this chapter (and story!) do you think maybe he could be allowed out to play...with me? I promise to return him with minimal damage...and a REALLY big insufferable smirk...
Author's Response: Hey babes, are you a new reviewer? I don't recognize the name but I loved your comments - I can tell you're one horny bitch and I fucking love it!
I've told the Madman that he can come out and play with you since you left me the love. He would like you to be waiting in Jasper's office in one hour, up against the door - naked. Hope that's ok with you.
Reviewer: Jime (Signed) · Date: June 27, 2009 12:58 PM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
Awww, I am happy that Charlie has a home :) Great update!
Reviewer: lavishone (Signed) · Date: June 27, 2009 12:49 PM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
I don't even know where to start with this review. You are just such a great damn writer! You are very nearly too talented for words, but I am going to try...
First: Alice and Jasper are just so damn hot together, they practically melt off my laptop. Against the door, over the desk...excuse me..need a couple of minutes...Okay, back now. Love that Edward isn't the only sib who going to get some action. (She is right? And not just over the f*cking phone, right?) Dr. McF*ckingwonderful is sure to deliver.
Next: Edward and Bella are going to get at the crux of their issues at some point...After all, Ginnie and Godzy might need a rest at some point and I get the feeling that although there is a lot of hormone induced action going on, there is a true depth of feeling there. Just too much fear on both their parts just yet. I am very interested to see how how get them to the next level. They are both going to have to forgive/accept themselves for their past actions- this may be harder than forgiving/accepting one another's pasts. The visit with Charlie was so important. Edward needed to see how really loving and giving Bella is-with whatever she has, to those who are loyal and loving towards her.
Finally, Have told every person I know how awesome your story is. It very nearly defies description, but I give it my best shot.
**Okay Leisa, This note is for the Madman- look away***
Dear Madman, So, your role has been diminished a bit. What exactly were you expecting? Hmmm? You may be f*ckhot, but you need to learn to keep that shit under wraps. You know we all want you to reach out and touch us (a lot), but you are going to end up in the kennel if you're not careful. Then none of us will be having any fun....
Author's Response: Aww baby, your words give me the warm fuzzies, they really do. You are quickly shooting up to the top of my list of fave reviewers.
I've just had a bit of a sit down with Bella, and she has told me her story - fuck, that girl has been through hell. I'll try and do her justice next chapter.
Thanks for pimping me out - you rock. You should totally come and play on the forum - you'd fit in well with the girls there.
And now, the Madman want to say a few words....
Hey beautiful. God, you got me so hard when you talked about reaching out and touching me. Are you trying to drive me fucking insane woman? I need to see you - now. Meet me in the music room. I want you on the piano - naked. I'll be there soon, but in the meantime, feel free to start without me. *sexy smirk*
Reviewer: accsmom (Signed) · Date: June 27, 2009 12:39 PM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
Oh i love how Charlie has a home.. love the old ladies.. classic.. love Jasper and Alice... damn damn damn.. you are good
Reviewer: Twinklefae (Signed) · Date: June 27, 2009 06:17 AM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
Wow! I love lemons mixed with plot. I have trouble with lemon after lemon with nothing else happening, but this chapter had the beginning of a conversation that Bella and Edward hadn't even aknowledged that they needed to have.
They both have pasts and they need to discuss them. Pronto. *sigh* Because i'm nosy and I want to know! Dammit!
Author's Response: Baby, I promise you will know MUCH more about Bella's past after you read the next chapter. She told me the whole thing earlier tonight, and Jesu Christe, that girl has been through some serious shit. Be prepared.
Thanks for reviewing - you know how I love it so.
Reviewer: LitanyG (Signed) · Date: June 27, 2009 12:02 AM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
A very god AN to the end I like when Kiya kick the madman ass and... - look at the other reader - What ?
Hum.. the review is for the story not for the AN Litany...
Ha ha ha! I whant to review the AN so if you don't like it go to hell!!
- keek some asses befor going back to her computer -
Like I said hour lovely autor is the best and it's realy hot to see her kick the madman ass. ^^
Author's Response: Thanks baby, I appreciate you kicking asses on my behalf!!
Love ya,
x
Reviewer: mellovesyou (Signed) · Date: June 26, 2009 10:50 PM · On: Crotchsplosions & Consequences
so it's 1:47 AM where i am, and i was watching reruns of disney channel because my younger sister left it on. i was cleaning my basement for fun, and it was really getting to me. i grabbed my ipod and checked my sites because i had cleaned a corner and was spent for the night, and i saw you updated, and i squealed like a little girl and made my dog bark. awesome chapter, as usual. and it looks like there's trouble in paradaise for the lovebirds.. i trust that it will end preferably. great job, can't wait for more. :D
Author's Response: Hey hon,
I'm so glad I saved you from a night of basement cleaning. As usual, thank you so much for your kind words - they make me go gooey.
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