You have such a gift for the hysterical!!! I laugh out loud at every chapter! I still have fond memories of Edward's Eight too... *sighs dreamily as she heads off to... um... sleep! Yeah sleep... in bed... thinking of Edward's Eight...*

note to self... order bigger Dr. Jasper

Author's Response:

Hee hee...a BIGGER Dr Jasper?  Cripes woman, what are you trying to do to me? 

Good luck with the sleep baby!  Thanks for the love!

x

Another great chapter! Can't wait to see whats next!

My favorite quote from this chapter:

“I am going to sleep, and if either one of you wakes me, your life will be worth less than a dead rat in a tampon factory. Do I make myself clear?”- Alice

Seriously, where do you come up with this shit?!?!? And please, don't ever stop! Your sayings and ramblings are priceless and make me laugh out loud. 

Oh, and could you please tell me where I could possibly purchase a battery operated Jasper that I could call my very own?  Thanks, I'd owe you forever!  Sigh.

Soooo looking forward to Alice's punishment, especially her appointment with Dr. Jasper McHottie.  Woo Hoo! 

And if I am being completely honest, the madman scares me a little.  I mean, how exactly did he know that I always read this story perched on the edge of my seat leaning over my keyboard?  Freaky.

Author's Response:

Ahhh...another one of my favorite reviewers.  Hey honey!

Well, I don't normally resort to quoting movies in my fic, but the tampon factory line is actually from a Zucker Brothers movie called Top Secret.  It was just one of those quotes that I could really hear tripping off Alice's tongue - so can't really take credit for the funny there (although I always thought that line had more than a bit of "ewwww" in it too.)

Baby, drop into your local sex shop (or shop online if you want to remain anonymous) and you can get yourself your very own never-flaccid-wonder-cock in either an Edward, or a Jasper for around sixty bucks.  (top of the line models can be as much as $150, but seriously, how complicated does it have to be?)

The madman knew you were leaning over your keyboard because, quite frankly, he has his eye on you.  In his own words, he thinks you'd be "a hot little biscuit".  Weird terminology, but then, he's mad.

Thanks for the love hon, right back at ya!

x

It's really getting to be pretty pathetic- my stalker-like obsession with your story.  Your story is just so damn good!

Another great chapter- interesting that Edward and Bella were able to out-smart Alice at the bet (well, mostly Bella).  Smut scrabble is hilarious!  Cummage? Seriously?!! It's got to be worth a triple word score at least!  I am sure that Edward will have some particularly wonderful (yet horrible) task for Alice.  Would love to hear Jasper's POV when Alice goes in for her therapy appointment... 

Madman commentary at the end just killed me...Feel free to update as many times as possible!

 

Author's Response:

Hey baby, you can be my stalker any day!  I love getting your reviews - they always make me smile.

There is a teaser for the new chapter on the forum if you're interested: http://www.twilighted.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=4404&p=547049#p547049

Talk soon,

x

lol i loved this chapter it made me laugh haha ^_^ please update soon

Well, I'm reviewing 'cause the madman told me to. That's right. He did. I know you know he did so stop looking at me like that.

 

Anywho, another great chapter, I'm really excited about Alice meeting Dr. Jasper. It just screams humourous chapter goodness.

AND I can't believe Bella's hoohaa got zero godzilla action for 4+ hours. That is all kinds of messed up.

 

oh. and btw. don't think I didn't notice that you used the word LUBE in there. That's right. LUBE. AND MOIST.  You had better put 'crevice' in the next chapter and then you'll be cured of your random word-phobia! Or else we'll have to send you to Dr. Jasper.

 

yum.

Author's Response:

Baby, you know I'm trying to be a better person...a better writer...just for you.  *sigh*  It felt weird using those words, but, I have to be willing to push my own boundaries to keep you fussy bitches happy, soooo....CREVICE *cringe, gag*  CREVICE  *heavy breathing*  MOTHERFUCKING CREVIIIIIIIICE!!  *pants heavily and hides her face in her hands*  God, I feel so dirty.

Stay tuned.  I PROMISE I will get 'crevice' into this story somewhere, and you will know it's my super-secret way of telling you I love you.  K?

 

My leetle dumpling.  My apple pie ala mode.  My Aussie Sex Goddess. 

Well, you certainly know how to mix the angst with the funny with the heartfelt and the heartfail. 

It is good their issues are still there.  We're talking about a recent homeless person who lived through some pretty horrific shit and barely-clean addict looking for his next high.

I'm so glad these things aren't being brushed under the rug.  i am feeling everything coming to a head soon.  I also sense Caveward in full effect once he learns the identity of Bella's "sex teacher" aka "molester".  The fit will surely hit the shan then, won't it?

Right now they are using teh sex to cover up what they don't want to face.  Those few hours without their current addiction made them have to deal with stuff they're pushing down.

BTW, when I read it I was not expecting the door to be locked.  Good job with that.  I loved it.

Mmmm...send that Madman over here.

Your Catty-Wan, Super-Seekrit Life Partner & Fiance 

I LOVE this story!

Ok, 'member how I said I though the innervoices should have their own spin-off fic? Yeah, well now I think that Giney and Godzy should totally have their own show, they could be like the Sonny and Cher of genitals...

Crikey Edward and Bella are like atom bomb hot for each other in the sack. Super hot lovin' indeed. Edward seems inhumanly insatiable, so I'm guessing that maybe Edward hasn't quite dealt with the old sex-addiction yet? Don't get me wrong, I'm delighted lovely Bella is getting quite the seeing-to, I'm just a bit worried Edward's lack of control is going to come back and bite him on the bum later?

Bless Edward for trying to bring Renee up. I think he's going to be a catalyst in Bella finally dealing with some of her past issues. It'll have to be fairy steps though and all in Bella's own time...

The Robward photo fallout hitting the fan was hilarious. Poor Alice, those boys don't make her life easy. I think she deserves a little funAlicetime. And I think Rob would totally be up for it. Or maybe Jasper (I take it he's Edward's therapist?)

The dilemma of replacing the teen girl Screamers with the gay Screamers was a good one. Which would be easier to handle?

Can't wait to see where you take us next. Hope you still enjoying the tour xx

p.s. As per your AN - We *know* you are a fucking pervert Leis, and we loves you for it ;)

This story ROCKS! The star wars reference had me laughing until I cried.  Love it! I can't wait to read more!

The Star Wars reference was hysterical, thank you for the laughs!! This is great stuff, like always! And it's nice to get recs from a reliable source, so thanks for the end notes, too, I have to go check those out.

mmmm ... HAWT ... so deliciously hot!!! i want myown sex god !!! can i borrow edwardand godzilla for a while? thanks!