So I saw you give a post about how you wish that more people would look for the little things in your story, so I thought I'd oblidge.
. Rose was fine in the beginning but with everyone’s ‘tudes all in a mess she had started taking it out on me, putting me down all the time.
Love the use of the words Tude, it makes Emmet seem like a cross between my mother and a burly leader type. Funny, appropriate, good.
Her scent intensified and I craned my neck eagerly looking for her. I saw a woman in her early thirties staring at me. A blonde in a short black skirt waiting on tables and a brunette dressed in black picking up empty glasses and placing them on her tray.
I like how in this little moment, he doesn't see Bella first, it helps in creating suspense. I also like how you don't go into too much detail about their outfits. Keepin the emster a man. Kudos.
She was a waitress in the meanest bar in Seattle, talk about a danger magnet. I had to get her out of here. I watched her stroll over to me, balancing her tray with ease.
I love how Emmett assumes she's there because she's a danger magnet, or not of her own choice. It ties the story in nicely to canon.
Wow, I didn’t think Bella even had curves.
I like how Emmett didn't think of Bella in a sexy way from the beginning, it gives this all the more contrast.
She wore a black wife beater and I noticed how carved her arms were. She obviously had been working out. Hard
I love how your Bella is a bad-ass, not just sexy, but a much stronger character, physically as well. Kudos.
She saw the smirk too and before I realized what had happened, she brought the beer bottle she was holding down on my head. Glass shattered around my ears and despite the fact I barley felt it, I groaned.
What a wonderfull, wonderfull first reaction. That's really all I can say. I think that was my favorite part of the whole chapter.
So there is your little details review -- enjoy.
OMG you seriously had tears in my eyes! You rock so hard. Thank you so much...I cannot believe you actually did that...you have no idea how much that meant to me! God baby hormones are making me emotional lol!
Seriously thank you!