May I reccommend that you use more sentence variety? The story was good this chapter, but the sentences almost always started with a name or pronoun. Use participles, prepositions, clauses, adjectives, adverbs, etc.!

I know, I'm an English freak.

Can't wait for the next chapter, and THANKS FOR MAKING US WAIT! But it's alright, you're forgiven!

Forever,

Edwardsfavoritebrunette

James, Jake and Tanya in one chapter. Yikes! Can't wait for the update

This story has all my favorite things in it hockey and Edward. As much as I hate that he got beat I loove this story and much more so this chapter (I'm a Stars fan....yes even after this season. Lol.). Keep up the great work.

great chapter!! im excited that james and jacob are in the story now! i cant wait for the next update!

No, please, forget Tanya. She's a pain in the ass. I like that you have James having history with Alice. Now Edward AND Jasper can kick his ass on the ice. I'm wondering if Bella is preggo since she's not feeling well. She might be on the pill but it's not 100% and what a stir that will make since Tanya is in the picture now. I think Angela will be very disappointed in Bella but then Bella could quit her job and get married to Mr. Superstar it won't matter what happens with her job or Tanya or Mr. Denali's newspapers and magazines. I like the way you've introduced Jake and James and I like that you did it in the same chapter.

Great story. Great chapter. Update quickly. Forget school. Who needs school when you could be entertaining all of us with your fanfics?

The best thing about hockey is the fights... I think there is going to be a big ol' fight on the ice tonight in Detroit. HEE HEE.
I hope the stuff w/Tanya does not get out of control. I was glad to take a chappy break from her! Thank you for updating. Loved it.

OOoooh! Things are really getting good! I can't wait for more!!xx

Interesting twists with Jacob and James. I look forward to them working out the Tanya things. Emmett really needs a good guilt trip for doing that to Bella.

Oh hell, James/Alice?  Wow.  Looking forward to more soon!

My Stanley Cup finals prediction: Detroit v Penguins - 7 games, with Penguins winning.

Author's Response:

I hope to god the Penguins win! I am a Flames fan by heart, but in the East the Pens are my team, and they are allowed to win against any team BUT Calgary. It does seem like it will be the same matchup as last year, Pens and Wings, but I really hope for a penguins victory :)

Please do forget her!!

Bella's little plan definitely sounds like it's going to work! And even if it doesn't Edward will figure something out...he loves her too much even if he can't admit it!

OMG NOO THIS CANT B HAPPING 2 POOR BELLA! HURRY UP AND ADD I LOVE THIS STORY!

very interesting (don't know about spelling). I like it alot and you have us on the biggest cliffie right now. i'm glad that bell and Edward finally got the whole 'seeing each other' thing off their chests. and i am looking forward to the next chapter.

there were a few spelling mistakes here and there but other then that, it was really good.