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Reviews For Overtime
Reviewer: Emma Goldman (Signed) · Date: April 16, 2017 05:13 AM · On: Chapter 18 - Christmas Surprise (v)

I love this story and this chapter was amazing but I must ask am I the only totally grossed out that Edward shook hands with Bella's family immidiatly after being with her?

Reviewer: bella1 (Signed) · Date: June 23, 2014 07:20 PM · On: Epilogue (V)

This is my third time reading this story and I love it!! Every time is full of excitement and mistery . Keep up the awesome work. Bella1

 

 

Reviewer: twilightluv (Signed) · Date: May 23, 2014 02:07 AM · On: Chapter 29 - Old Enemy, New Battle (V)

The stress is driving me crazy!

Reviewer: twilightluv (Signed) · Date: May 21, 2014 04:39 AM · On: Chapter 11 - Confessions

Oh God.  Please don't let Tanya be pregnant and try to pass it off as Edward'so baby....

Reviewer: twilightluv (Signed) · Date: May 21, 2014 04:08 AM · On: Chapter 9 - The Art of Blackmail

Darnit, Edward.   Lose the land line. 

Reviewer: twilightluv (Signed) · Date: May 21, 2014 12:39 AM · On: Chapter 1 - A Not-So-Hot Start

Ha!  Hilarious! !!  I would have been mortified! 

Reviewer: songii (Signed) · Date: January 23, 2014 11:12 PM · On: Epilogue (V)

Loved it!!! Just found story last night and could not put down.  Thanks for sharing!!!

Reviewer: kneon (Signed) · Date: October 01, 2013 05:33 PM · On: Epilogue (V)

Great story. Thank you for sharing it.

Reviewer: Allielou78 (Signed) · Date: June 05, 2013 03:43 AM · On: Epilogue (V)

Hehehe. Flames win the cup! I so wish that was true! I'm a Calgary girl with home town pride!!! Great story! 

Reviewer: LaceyBlack (Signed) · Date: May 13, 2013 03:26 AM · On: Epilogue (V)

I had gone back through my favorites and saw your story only to be catapulted back into this wonderful steamy hockey world :) just want to let you know how awesome your story STILL is and that I'm a fan of yours. 

Reviewer: jgonzales304 (Signed) · Date: March 01, 2013 12:30 AM · On: Chapter 4 - Family Barbeque

When I read that they were playing Taboo, the first thing that popped into my head was a scene in "Four Christmases" playing this exact game. I personally thought it was hilarious, and in the scene it was also couple vs. couple. I'm liking the story so far!

Reviewer: chyla1 (Signed) · Date: December 13, 2012 01:30 AM · On: Chapter 31 - A Center Ice Finale (V)

Perfect ending! I loved it!

Reviewer: chyla1 (Signed) · Date: December 01, 2012 12:23 PM · On: Chapter 25 - All Star Battle (V)

Well, I was going to say that I loved the drama and excitement of the last 2 chapters, but that was before this fiasco eighth James... I hate him!

Reviewer: chyla1 (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2012 09:06 AM · On: Chapter 10 - Late Night Activities

OMG! The jig is up!!! LOL!

I think this my favorite chapter so far. Edward is so sweet to Cara... They seem like a little family here....aww...

Reviewer: chyla1 (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2012 09:05 AM · On: Chapter 10 - Late Night Activities

OMG! The jig is up!!! LOL!

I think this my favorite chapter so far. Edward is so sweet to Cara... They seem like a little family here....aww...

Reviewer: chyla1 (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2012 08:42 AM · On: Chapter 9 - The Art of Blackmail

You know...if I was a betting person, I say Tanya is covering up her lesbianism....or a bad romp or two in the  Big Apple... I hate that she's here in Denver making trouble. But seriously, though...Edward....not using your cell for the secret booty call? Totally lost his player points with that gaffe...lol

Reviewer: chyla1 (Signed) · Date: November 27, 2012 08:55 PM · On: Chapter 2 - New Home

Really enjoying the story and cannot wait to read more. The bar was a funny start!

Chyla

Reviewer: chyla1 (Signed) · Date: November 21, 2012 08:32 PM · On: Prologue - Unwanted Opportunity

Lol! Someone's not happy at all!

Reviewer: deranged_dreamer (Signed) · Date: October 10, 2012 10:58 PM · On: Epilogue (V)

Where are the green eyed babies?

 :(

Reviewer: deranged_dreamer (Signed) · Date: October 10, 2012 05:42 PM · On: Chapter 9 - The Art of Blackmail

so i just saw how many reviews you have, which might make my last review moot.

 

:/

 

they dont need more rope to hang themselves, right?

Reviewer: deranged_dreamer (Signed) · Date: October 10, 2012 05:32 PM · On: Chapter 8 - Home Ice advantage?

you should post on fanfiction net. im really enjoying this story,but i ended here by accident. i dont like the format here so much. i bet you would have more readers over there.

 

Reviewer: babybugsummer (Signed) · Date: September 29, 2012 12:27 AM · On: Prologue - Unwanted Opportunity

so trilled that colorado is the team in your story. they are my nonhometown team 

Reviewer: sarasue (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2012 04:10 PM · On: Epilogue (V)

great story im frm Edmonton so wish the oilers would win the cup again maybe in the next decade thanks for writing anxiously waiting for the next update on meet me on the midway lovin it too

Reviewer: sarasue (Signed) · Date: July 24, 2012 12:00 AM · On: Epilogue (V)

And you SCORED!!! great story love hockeyward !

Reviewer: Maize (Signed) · Date: March 19, 2012 11:05 AM · On: Chapter 3 - At the Rink

I was under the impression that Twilighted was a "High-quality" fanfiction site. Your story line is entertaining and holds my attention, and I plan on continuing to read it. However, there are typos and grammatical errors almost every paragraph, and they are beginning to distract from the story. I thought it was a requirement to have chapters betaed?

Examples:

Typos

Soon enough the meeting was over and Edward headed back to the locker room to pack up his stuff. He go down there and didn’t really feel like leaving, the ice was free he could always do a few more drills on his own.

 

I thought that would work better too, but I understand that I am here for work and this is your life, so I don’t ever want you to feel like I am overstepping my bounds because that it not what I want to do.

 

Run-on sentences

He was annoyed that she was on his mind, he didn’t even know her and she was pretty much off limits as she was writing about the family, and that seemed like a conflict of interests of some sort.

Alice said quickly and it was decided, Bella got the feeling people didn’t go against Alice; she may have been tiny, but Alice had spark.

Run-on AND improper use of comma

The five made up the first line and Jasper was the starting goaltender, they had a good chance of getting the cup this year, especially with the addition of Mercer who had two cups under his belt.

 

Improper use of comma

Rosalie said with a smile, she seemed to have warmed up to Bella a bit.

 

I really do like your writing and am enjoying reading it. I just figured I would point out that your story may need to be re-edited.

 

 

 



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