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Reviewer: Rinna (Signed) · Date: March 09, 2009 10:07 PM · On: Chapter 2
I'm really liking this story! Can't wait for the next chapter :)
Reviewer: inlovewithavampire12 (Signed) · Date: March 09, 2009 08:04 AM · On: Chapter 2
Oh good story line. I liked it a lot
Reviewer: sigh_for_sigh (Signed) · Date: March 09, 2009 07:50 AM · On: Chapter 2
I really like your Edward--alot. However, sometimes I think your writing style is a little stilited. He said, she thought, He said, instead of physical description of what they are auctually doing. And as alwyas little historical details are always fun. But honestly I really really like this story and await your next update eagelry.
Author's Response: I am trying to make the flow better. I hope u enjoy my latest chapter (worked really hard on it). Thanks for letting me know about the minor chinks. I will surely improve through the constructive crit u give.
Reviewer: sigh_for_sigh (Signed) · Date: March 09, 2009 07:45 AM · On: Chapter 1
I love love love your Edward. Just my kind of sexy hot Edward style. However I think a little more research on the time period might hurt, wouldn't Charlie's wife me more likely to die of cholera or TB, or at the time they might have just said she had a weak consitution. I also think maybe you can do a little more showing and a little less telling. For example instead of saying that Charlie was financially insecure, say she noticed that while everything was in good order, nothing was new, and she noted the pained look upon his face as he offered to by her new sheets, or something. I really like how your Edward drinks blood. But your Angela's dialouge seems a little unrealistic to me, especially when she says "Get along we did." it kind of just sounds like narration. But your Edward and your Bella are great, and they are all that matter really, right? Anyways keep it up.
-S
Reviewer: cindysark (Signed) · Date: March 09, 2009 07:28 AM · On: Chapter 2
Always love a good Stalkward :-) Can't wait for more!
Reviewer: vampirechicksx3 (Signed) · Date: March 08, 2009 02:49 PM · On: Chapter 1
oh no what's he going to do
great story, update soon please
Reviewer: chloe9 (Signed) · Date: March 08, 2009 12:52 PM · On: Chapter 1
I'm intrigued, amazing start, I can't wait to read more!
Reviewer: bumbelbee (Signed) · Date: March 08, 2009 09:40 AM · On: Chapter 1
Lovely! I really like dark Edward.
Can't wait for you to update! =]
Reviewer: LordXeenTheGreat (Signed) · Date: March 08, 2009 07:40 AM · On: Chapter 1
More!!!!
Reviewer: Mayfair1285 (Signed) · Date: March 08, 2009 04:01 AM · On: Chapter 1
Interesting so far. Update soon plz...I would like to see where this goes
Reviewer: Rinna (Signed) · Date: March 07, 2009 11:03 PM · On: Chapter 1
Uh oh! Can't wait to see what happens next!
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