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Reviewer: usagicullen (Signed) · Date: July 11, 2009 02:45 PM · On: Loyalty
Loved Edward's POV. He has a bit of Books Cullenary Coupling Edward in him in terms of snark and wit, but is a lot more relaxed and uses less "big" words :)
Your Renee is great. She is WAY closer to what I think of from Bella's descriptions of her mother from Twilight. I loved the vampire jokes about anger management and thanksgiving. I liked how Edward said that Charlie was too complicated for Renee, that line made me chuckle.
Renee's comments to Edward and how he can see her selfishness and Bella's selflessness really helped to explain some of Bella's choices and reactions to other people - like Jacob.
Edward not blowing his load in his pants, jumping out the window or killing Bella when he took her pj's off was nice to see as well - too many times in ff (and I guess a bit in the real books) Edward reacts like this - like he hasn't ever seen a scantily clad/naked women in his 107 yrs even though he is a mind reader and lives with 3 married couples and owns a tv. He is a virgin, not a blind prude.
Him massaging and not bruising her (and thinking about what he was doing) was also nice - the guy can read a book with out ripping the pages out, but then bruises his wife the first time he gets it on was another fatal flaw in BD. Nice to see you fixing another issues yet again ;)
Nice to see Bella realise that her mother was being selfish and that she was doing way more than is required as the child, it was also nicer that Bella did not get upset with Edward for standing up for her.
Reviewer: usagicullen (Signed) · Date: July 11, 2009 02:24 PM · On: Lies
Loved!
Aww some Charlie Edward bonding. They both seem to be enjoying their roles.
The dialogue between all characters was really great - humourous, witty and flowed very well. Loved Bella and Edward joking about the dogs and the pinkie swear was so cute!
Edward and Bella's communication skills continue to develop and they seem to be dealing with the future very maturely.
Reviewer: usagicullen (Signed) · Date: July 11, 2009 02:20 PM · On: Lingering
Loved this chapter! Each and everyone is amazing and they keep getting better and funnier (now that the Bella-Edward angst is mostly in the past)
Edward and Charlie and Bella and Charlie scenes were amazing. I love how their bonding and that Edward is allowing himself to enjoy having a father-in-law and that Charlie is enjoying giving advice to Edward. Aww so sweet!
Love how the Cullen's personalities continue to be explored. I totally adore how Jasper keeps getting more sneaky and sarcastic, fits well with being an empath. I would think that having his talent would make it almost necessary to toy with people for amusement so that he doesn't go insane. Jasper's humour with his music choices was great! I loved Belland and Edward dancing to like a virgin.
Can't wait to see what Renee says in the next chapter and the following responses from all that are at the party - especially Jasper's snarky comments :)
Thanks!
Reviewer: sugarvenom (Signed) · Date: July 11, 2009 09:16 AM · On: Titan
Sensational. Smart. Heartbreaking. I love it.
Reviewer: dnabgeek (Signed) · Date: July 10, 2009 09:34 AM · On: Lingering
ROFL... this chapter was great.... love the choice for the renee song... can't wait to read the next chapter :)
Reviewer: twilightdiheart (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2009 03:22 PM · On: Tilting
I'm glad she played nice. Can I see Jake happy. I always want to see him happy and able to love Bella the right way.
Reviewer: twilightdiheart (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2009 02:59 PM · On: Tethered
I take it that you are strickly and firmly Team Edward. I love Edward, but have a soft spot for Jake too. I'm enjoying the writing, I know it's your story...but I don't think Bella or Edward would reduce Jacob's love for Bella by destroying the braclet. Okay, I know it's your story.
Reviewer: twilightdiheart (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2009 12:21 PM · On: Take
The title and summary do not do your story justice. It is so deep on so many levels. This story has many layers, and you have painted a very interesting picture with you deep words. I can't rush over your words I must digest them. This is great.
Reviewer: vampgirl138 (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2009 10:06 AM · On: Lies
I liked how you did Renee... I think that SM made it a little too easy. Good Job! Poor Phil, tho.... :)
Reviewer: spaniard (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2009 08:47 AM · On: Turn, Turn, Turn
I loved the reactions that you gave every member of the family at the beginning…the struggle that Carlisle suffers: wife/son/Bella, and of course going for his son…Emmett being our Twilight version of Achilles and Edward his momentary heel. My favorite was Jasper and his no-man-left-behind instinct. Ah, who am I kidding. My favorite will ALWAYS be Jasper, no matter what his reaction is.
Charlie’s reactions were precious, and I loved the way Bella anticipated all of his responses. I was wishing that she would do that more in the book. He’s not exactly spontaneous.
I wonder where she had time in all of her worry to come up with a cover story, or are the Cullens wearing off on her. In any case, I loved the fact that Charlie was suddenly the father worried about his daughter feelinga and future instead of the stereotypical angry dad.
The conversation with Rosalie was lovely, and I really enjoyed the end lines. It made everything seem strangely like a preface for a wedding in bizarroland.
I said it once, I’ll say it again in case you doubted it. Your writing is beautiful.
Reviewer: Jessypt (Signed) · Date: July 08, 2009 10:11 PM · On: Lingering
This is really great. I can't wait for the next chapter!
Reviewer: peygan (Signed) · Date: July 08, 2009 01:21 AM · On: Lingering
Welcome back its good to see more of this I cant wait to see Renee's participation in this event.
Reviewer: missymarieb (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 11:45 PM · On: Lingering
This chapter seriously had me rolling! Jaspers playlist was hilarious! I loved the matchmaking session...The chapter as a whole was so well crafted, You are very talented :)
Reviewer: SaraCGeorgeBob (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 10:27 PM · On: Lingering
I love Jasper's playlist!!!!!
Reviewer: baldtomato (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 09:22 PM · On: Lingering
fav part is "Like a Virgin" lyrics, LOL!! THAT is Edward's. haha.
Reviewer: spaniard (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 06:42 PM · On: Titan
I’ve only made it through the first chapter, and I can already tell that I will love your writing. It’s so very poetic and well- thought out. You’ve taken a risk and made a thinking fic…and made it beautiful.
Like everyone else who has reviewed, I was extremely disappointed by Edward’s simple blow-off of the kiss in the last scene. There are consequences to every action that SM doesn’t seem to have thought out very well, and that you have written so perfectly into this chapter.
As an addict to everything that has to do with internal struggle, I have to say that I loved Edward’s reaction and your “ending” to Eclipse. Catatonia, followed by the need to escape…how he remains motionless and emotionless and defeats Victoria without the slightest hint that he is even inside himself. You had me addicted from the beginning.
The battle was impressive. The fact that you take the risk of scarring and tarnishing our perfect Edward speaks volumes. I also love the fact that you brought the whole plotline full circle. Edward had lived three books with the burden of knowing that he could kill Bella with a flick of his wrist or with his exit from her life. Finally, and too late, Bella understands that she had the same power over him. “I was Bella Swan. The god killer.” Exactly…so perfect.
The standstill between Edward and Victoria, both with their teeth at each other’s necks, painted a suspenful picture and drew a line that I had never seen before…two jilted mates fighting for something that they both see in that moment as something that is not worth the fight.
This is a great story.
Author's Response: I have to say you have the most original interpretation of the first chapter I've seen. No one particularly comments on the battle with Victoria or how utterly devoid of life he was throughout it. He would defend Bella with his last (proverbial) breath, and if he died in the process, it hardly mattered. He'd lost everything that had ever mattered to him, and his mind, it was walking away of it's own volition. It felt imperative to maim him, because he needed some manifestation of his turmoil, and frankly it had to show that he had no concept of self-defense while he attacked. Both he and Victoria were hurt beyond recognition and lashing out, but unable to give up. I thought it spoke volumes to Edward's character, that even when he felt all his hope was lost, he still fought on. It showed what kind of man he was. A man that could be hurt and wounded, inside and out, and Bella could finally see as human.
I'm so glad you liked this first chapter, and I hope you continued to enjoy the rest of the story. :)
Reviewer: Lizababy (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 03:42 PM · On: Titan
I read all that you've written in a 4 hr. period lastnight. My thoughts quickly drift back to the first couple of chapters and how you brought us back to "the kissing" between Bella and Jacob. I must say that I totally love your uptake on what happened after the kiss. The breakdown of Edward Cullen so to speak. The aha moment that Bella Swan finally "got it" and matured in her love and understanding for why Edward was how he was. Even Rose was a very nice touch with how she related to Bella with how and why her and Edward were so very alike.
Every character came alive through your story. Their personalities were very real and vibrant. I enjoyed how you are writing what we, the many fans of the SM novels really would have loved for things to have been more deep or made clearer. You made Bella more likable for her deepening and understanding love for Edward.
I would also like to say thank you for making Edward and Bella's relationship within their own relationship and with their extended family relationship more relatable as to the core of the two main characters. I can relate more to Bella in your version. In otherwords Bella is more understanding in your version and Edward in your version is much more in touch with himself, his feelings and it makes him that more much loveable. <sighs>
Awaiting your next chapters.
Reviewer: twilight goddess (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 10:19 AM · On: Lingering
It's very good. I love that Charlie and Edward had a heart to heart about what happened when he left. Renee' is a quack, I hope you don't let her ruin the wedding. Love IT!!
Reviewer: lanamoosh (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 08:24 AM · On: Lingering
This may very well be my favorite chapter of this story so far. Every time I thought I had found the one quote that just made this, I'd find another one. I think this quote is pretty much the best overview for the chapter:
"An hour later and Jasper's music choice had neither left the eighties nor its irrevent state of irony..."
There was nothing here I didn't like! Yay! Glad you're feeling better.. glad OTC cold medicine inspires laughs. Looking forward to the wedding! :-)
-L
Reviewer: nothing2do (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 07:36 AM · On: Lingering
This story is great. I just found it yesterday and read it so fast. I was cracking up at some of the later chapters, especially this one. I loved the music and I can't wait to see what happens with Renee. I kinda thought she'd show. Excited for the next chapter.
Reviewer: nothing2do (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 07:36 AM · On: Lingering
This story is great. I just found it yesterday and read it so fast. I was cracking up at some of the later chapters, especially this one. I loved the music and I can't wait to see what happens with Renee. I kinda thought she'd show. Excited for the next chapter.
Reviewer: Forthelove (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 02:38 AM · On: Lingering
Go Jasper! Whoohoo!
Reviewer: tina_cullen (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 12:12 AM · On: Lingering
I loved it. Truely
Reviewer: magicalheather (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2009 12:01 AM · On: Lingering
This is truly an amazing story. When I found it this morning I couldnt stop reading. I cried and I laughed. I love that she finally woke up and saw all that was around her and got to know herself and those around her for who they and she really is. I cant wait for more.
Reviewer: angel1babe86 (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 10:08 PM · On: Lingering
hahahahahahahahahahaha i LOVED this chapter and the timing of the very end was absolutely PERFECT!!! lol....
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