Loved it, loved it, loved it.  Am very much looking forward to seeing her rebuild Edward.  I think you're right - it's his turn to fall apart.

I love this story. It seems true to what you would like should happen when you cheat on your fiance. Even if she was tricked. I can't wait till the next chapter.

"Today, Jake's months of disregard and disrespect of me and my relationship, and his blatant blackmail manipulation to make me kiss him, caused me to cough up wolfy by-products. Let them be squeezed out from a smelly sponge, and slide down the drain."

That paragraph was amazing writing!

I cannot believe you left us where you did!  She's right there waiting to talk to him and you end!!  Urgh!  So here's hoping you update soon.

Author's Response:

haha, thank you! chapter three is going into the queue tomorrow morning. i wanted to give folks a chance to read ch. 2 before i submitted the next one :)

By the way, I totally followed your Greek God references...if it's one thing I'm obsessed with, it's Greek Mythology.

 

And I'm so ready to see a mature Bella who doesn't play with Edwards heart. One major thing that broke my heart in Eclipse was when Bella wouldn't wear his ring, his mother's ring.

Author's Response:

Haha. i'm geek for it too. In 9th grade we had to read Edith Hamilton's "Mythology" which is ridiculously comprehensive of Greek, Roman, Norse, and I think even Celtic mythology. It blew my mind and I loved it. Then I spent years in Latin translating the myths. It's impossible to escape them and they're so damn interesting.

 

And I know. I wanted to slap her and say, "bitch please, pass it over if you don't want it." I will most definitely be addressing that issue. I'd go nuts if i didn't.

Thanks for reading, and the second chapter should be up any time now. I submitted it yesterday.

BEAUTIFULLY written...you truly captured the thoughts, emotions, existance of the characters....please update soon- I can't stand to see them in so much...

Author's Response:

thank you so much. the next chapter is in the queue, and the intensity lessons a bit with actual dialogue. Hopefully it stil capture all the right emotions though.

 

thanks for reading and reviewing!

I really enjoyed this. I've felt like this is kind of an untouched subject - there is little to no fanfictions about Bella's actions during Eclipse. Something of which I cannot understand, Edward gets vilified and torn apart for doing what essentially he thought was in Bella's best interest, yet Bella not only is careless and cruel with Edward's heart - she betrays him time and time again for selfish reasons and is never told off for it either, something of which I was desperate for someone - anyone to do. 

For me personally I have still yet to forgive her for her actions, I've tried so many times - to try and understand why she did what she did and I still cannot find it within myself to forgive her. I think my main problem stems with the fact she never really said sorry to Edward for treating him so poorly and being so callous with his emotions, she never paid any penance for tearing his heart apart and spent more time fretting over Jacob and his feelings, than that of her soulmates. I thank you and applaud you for dealing with this subject. You write it with amazing depth, I really like your use of the Greek Gods metaphors - it works really well. I look forward to the rest of your story. Again, it's really great to see a story that touches upon this subject and for once it's Bella who is trying to pick up the pieces and put her love back together.

Author's Response:

I agree with you that this has never really been addressed, and when it has been, it's to the extreme. You see Edward leaving Bella or dressing her down, and that, to me at least, is just as improbable as what happened in Eclipse. On the flip side you get a lot of fics trying to "equalize" their relationship, that more or less only ends with Bella completely taking over and keeping Edward whipped (re: Breaking Dawn). I don't want to do eithere of those things. You can't write an Edward who flips his shit at Bella and have him be IC and moreover there's no way to fully equalize them, b'c that implies a level of normality that's not present. Bella's now had her big epiphany and finally sees Edward clearly, now it's time for her to use that knowledge and carry some of her own weight.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I love the feedback.

 

- Katie

very good!

cant wait for more.  you have a great style of writing.

Wow.  This was very intense.  It was a very compelling read.  I am eager to read more.  I am thrilled that you are going to continue it!

Author's Response:

Thanks! Yeah I briefly debated leaving it as a one shot, but then I thought how pissed off I would be reading that, and I decided it begged to be continued.

More is on its way, and thanks for reading!

 - Katie

I really enjoyed it - I think you're exploring an interesting direction and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.  The romantic in me hopes that they'll reconcile but I get the impression that they'll never be the same again.

Author's Response:

Don't be so despondent just yet. It is Edward we're dealing with. But you are right, they will never be the same again.

 

Thanks for the review !

Wow, thank you. I'm endlessly amazed at all the stories villianising Edward for leaving in New Moon, yet no one thinks twice about all the crap Bella puts him through, especially in Eclipse. It always confused me, because Edward was at least motivated by good intentions, but Bella's were largely selfish. So thanks for addressing Bella's role in the problems in their relationship - I don't particularly like her as a character in the books, and it's all the more harder in fics when authors gloss over the problems she brought to the relationship. I want to like her, and I did during this as she became more aware. Thank you.

I liked the use of mythology. It fits because Bella constantly sees him as Adonis or god-like. Although we never see Bella do much besides read classic romance novels, it isn't a stretch to imagine her googling up Greek myths on a whim while thinking about Edward's 'god-like perfection' or whatever.

One critique - and I'm not really sure how to phrase it, and I'm only saying it because you asked - it's beautifully written, but sometimes the way Bella phrases things in first person seems too formal, or would fit better with someone like Edward, who is naturally more formal and old-fashioned with his speech and internal monologing. It's mostly a nit-pick, I picked it up more in the second read-through, but I'm just throwing it out there for consideration.

Once again, a beautiful piece of writing, with an original plot that I've been dying to see someone write. I'll be waiting eagerly for an update.

Author's Response:

Wow, thank you, you hit the nail exactly on the head with my concern for this fic. I've never done this before, you know the whole non-academic/ journalistic writing thing, and a side effect I noticed is my innate philosophizing is being projected via Bella's mental awareness. Funny enough, in my insecurity in writing this, I emailed it to my younger sister (who is the creative writer in the family) and tried to tell her that it was just some story I'd come across, and asked he what she thought. Well she called "BULLSHIT" on me, saying the only person who uses words like that in every day speech is me, and it reeked of my thought process. So in the second chapter I've tried to, take out the extensive profundity and channel it into more self-awareness than constant epiphanies. I want to show Bella as the intellectual person we are supposed to think she is, so it won't be gone entirely, but at the same time, I can't change her entire way of thinking. The moment captured in this first chapter though, took her out of her comfort zone and turned everything she thought and perceived upside down, so it seemed right to me that she'd be thinking differently.  Anyways, this is far too long a response to your critique, but please, please continue to point out what you see. It's the only way I can improve.

As for the rest of your review, we are clearly on the same page. i am wearied by bad-guy Edwards, and Bella as this hapless victim. Yeah, Edward handled things pretty crappy at times, but you forgive him because of the circumstances and it was his first time around the block. You would be willing to grant the same to Bella, but her constant state of unawareness and self-absorbtion made me almost hate her by Eclipse. Edward in general breaks my heart, and I want him to have someone worthy of him, and Bella's blindness towards others and herself prevents that.

I'm also glad the mythology worked. I figured if your'e going to constantly think of someone as a god, let's do a character study about gods...and they're really not all they're cracked up to be. It was time for Bella to see past the beauty and realize who and what the person she professed to love was.... at the heart of it, he was just a man.

 

My rambling aside, thank you thank you thank you for your review and commentary, and I hope to hear more from you in the coming chapters!

  - Katie

This is a very interesting perspective you chosen to address I like it. First of all it does take two to have a relationship and I'm glad you have chosen to tackle the balance deficit here. Bella annoyed me most of the book because her actions while true dealing with devastating hurt were understandable I found that her obliviousness and assumptions about Edward and his feelings if she even noticed his feelings I should say were equally cruel. Edward made mistakes true but he learned from them. I didnt notice this happening with Bella because she continued on oblivious in the world where everything revolved around her. Edward carried the burden instead of calling her on her actions, but Bella never grew from her actions nor demonstrated the slightest remorse by not repeating them its easy to pay lip service over an over by apologizing but truth growth is not repeating the mistakes. I look forward to her growth process in this lord knows I questioned her sanity and her intelligence in that scene in the book so I will enjoy an alternative perspective. 

Author's Response:

I am so glad to see that we are in agreement. This whole idea started with my ranting on the Cullenary Coupling thread about Bella acting like an asshat in the later books. Hopefully this ended up a slightly more mature interpretation of that. haha

 

Thanks so much for your review, and I hope you enjoy seeing, perhaps not a ballsier Bella, but certaily a keener one.

My understanding of that part of Eclipse is completely different, I believe that when Edward comes back to the tent after she has kissed Jacob, he has matured enough to understand her motivations and to be sure that Bella loves him more, much more than she loves Jacob. He knows he has won, despite the kiss.

This said, what you have written is very beautiful, moving and terrible, and I will go on reading future chapters, because I can enjoy a different interpretation of a very strong episode of Eclipse.

Author's Response:

I greatly appreciate you trying something you interpret differently. I admit I always wanted to see Bella have a day of reckoning about her actions and felt she never had to sacrifice, while those around her did constantly. I also wanted Edward to have the chance to be in pain. Even if he had matured, it would always burn even the best of us, that the person we love above all others, loved someone else. So this story is a role reversal in a sense, in which Bella comforts Edward during his time of weakness. It will also rationalize the Jacob issue for me, becuase I never felt Bella's romantic love for Jacob was proven.

 

I hope you enjoy what's to come, and thank you for your review :)

Wow, what an amazing fic. The writing here is very excellent and a perspective I never would have considered. My only question is it fair for Bella to blame herself for the burden he CHOSE to carry?

Author's Response:

Thanks for your kindness. This is my first foray into any kind of creative endeavors, so I will admit to being a bit nervous about it.

 

In response to your question, there are a lot of answers to that. On one hand, you're right, it's not fair. But Bella is prone to the dramatics herself, and in such a traumatic experience, after watching Edward fall apart, she's not in a place to say, "Hey buddy...hold up a minute, you signed up for this gig." On the flip side, Bella spends the vast majority of New Moon and Eclipse being oblivious to how she effected others and the ramifications her actions have on them. She has a lot to answer for, and in her perverse thought process, it took this impenetrable force's breakdown to finally make her introspective. Edward may have chosent to carry the burden, but her immaturity and actions added to it- and in Eclipse, she wasn't really volunteering to take on anything. It was all about her wants. Now with this realization comes the responsibility of not only putting Edward back together again, but her stepping up to the plate to carry some weight as well.

I hope you keep reading, and watch Bella's growth. :)