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Reviews For Always Our Journey
Reviewer: Leyra (Signed) · Date: August 04, 2012 05:53 PM · On: Chapter 1

That was a wonderful fic ... it didn't seem at all as your first. :) Keep writting them because you do it so well ...

Good luck ! :)



Author's Response:

Thank you! It wasn't my first fic, but it was the first thing I ever did for Twilight. I was really nervous about getting into the characters' voices, so I appreciate the feedback. :) If you like Charlie, give my other work a try. If not, stay tuned. I'll have a new multi-fic in the New Moon timeline coming up when my Charlie fic is done. Thanks for taking the time to review! :)

Reviewer: leeseeq (Signed) · Date: February 09, 2011 05:12 AM · On: Chapter 1

That was such a fantastic canon fic!  Many canon fics leave me feeling dissatisfied beause the characters don't quite click for me as real, but this one was great!  I love that little missing scene, it makes a lot of sense and was just plain fun to read:)



Author's Response:

Thank you! This was one of those rare moments for me when I sit down and just get everything down on paper in one sitting. I wrote Always Our Journey one day in my classroom after the kids left for the day. I refused to move from my desk until it was out! What can I say? Inspiration struck and wouldn't let me go!

I'm happy to hear that the character's voices rang true for you. This was the first (published) Twilight fic I'd written, and one of the only times I've written for Edward. I remember being very nervous about characterization when I first submitted it. Even a couple years later, I'm still really happy with the finished product. Thanks for taking the time to review! :) :)

Reviewer: Saydonee (Signed) · Date: March 18, 2010 10:01 PM · On: Chapter 1

well written, i like it



Author's Response:

Glad you liked it. :) Thanks for reviewing & rating!!

Reviewer: yoda5683 (Signed) · Date: February 26, 2010 03:01 AM · On: Chapter 1

I love the way you write! I definitely feel you got the characterizations right. What a great insight from Edward’s POV and Alice.  And it was the perfect time setting to do it. I think you did an excellent job of “observing”  the atmosphere of what he would have been feeling in that moment.


 


“My decision to keep Bella human was much more about my own fear of losing her eventually when she came to resent having her soul stolen from her.” That is so spot on!!!! Why isn’t this obvious to everyone!! I love that you finally brought Edward to looking at that.


 


I also really love how you portrayed Miss Alice. I think it’s a great progression for both her character and Edward’s to have them interacting this way with this kind of dialogue. I also loved how you positioned the story to make a logical lead-up to the vote and set the context for why she even needed to come to talk sense into Edward.


 


Well done!  I will look forward to reading much more from you!

Reviewer: PaperArtist (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2010 05:26 AM · On: Chapter 1

I really liked it.  The thoughts that he goes through about why he wants to keep her human are totally accurate.  Often people only talk about her soul, and of course that is the main thing that he's worried about it, but there are all these layers behind it all!  I liked how it ended as well, but perhaps it was a little too bright and accepting considaring that when they do see Alice next he smashes some furniture in the other room because he was so angry about her being changed.  To make it flow into the next chapter you could perhaps take this even a little farther so that he's at the point where he won't let it happen.... like this might be a good time for him to strategize about how to keep Bella hidden from Demetri and grow confident in the fact that it IS possible to keep her human... or at least human as long as possible.

 

Really good voice though!  It rings true to me in how he spoke and would think, but at this point in his journy I don't think he could say "This was the way it was supposed to be" without some serious qualifiers and over thought out arguments that would undoubtedly brighten his own mood with his cleaverness at the new "plan" but ultimately bring him to the opposite conclussion than that last line left him.  Especially with her about to wake up... he'd need to be ready with his plan before the moment comes when he assures her that she would stay human and when she gets mad and gets up to go to the Cullen's house. 

 

I'm trying to figure it out... Would Alice know they would be coming?  I mean.. I suppose Bella could have made that decision previously, but it seems like Alice wouldn't have known they were coming until Bella made that decision to go.  Up until Edward tells her that she could sty human she thought he was going to change her or let her be changed and would have had no reason to up and go to the Cullen's for the meeting.  I'm probably being a bit too picky, but I'm a stickler about canon.

 

Really really good job though!  Sorry this is so long... I over think things almost as much as Edward does, but it's more of a compliment to you that I write such a detailed review!  :]



Author's Response:

Haha, no worries about the length of a review! I appreciate you taking the time to leave a thought-provoking response. I think only fellow authors understand how important it is. Believe me, there is no such thing as over thinking when it comes to Mr. Cullen! I understand your dedication to canon and love it in application in your current fic. You brought up some very interesting questions. I'm going to have to show my beta because we had discussions about them before I sent this in to the archieve! Here's what I'm thinking since I can't pass up challenging questions! ;)

Poor messed up Edward. I understand what you're saying about Edward being too happy about Bella's impending change. I think the first time he completely accepted the reality of her change isn't until after their first night in the cottege. It would be out of character for him to be excited about it now.

Edward said in the books that if he were selfish, he would change Bella to keep her at his side. Obviously, he's not acting on those desires, but they're there. He just doesn't vocalize them. I always saw this as being a very weird time for Edward. The man honestly believed Bella to be dead, and now here he is at her side while she sleeps. He's *almost* allowing himself that "happily ever after" fantasy. Who wouldn't? I was very careful to tiptoe around this idea because Edward is still quite torn between what he wants, (the inevitable), and what he thinks Bella needs, (a long and happy life). Now, once Bella wakes up and starts talking, the reality sets in. Yes, that might be what he wants, yes it seems inevitable, but damned if he isn't going to try and fight it anyway. It's what Bella needs, and to him, what she deserves. The trip to the house would be time for the famous Edward Cullen self-flagellation. His anger at the Cullens can also be attributed to his ever-present self-hatred. Not only was he feeling completely betrayed by his family, (Carlisle in particular), but he felt he had betrayed Bella himself with his fantasy and desires.

As far as Alice and her visions go, they're certainly tricky little things. How come Alice sees Bella as one of them when no one has made the conscious decision to change her? When Bella doesn't even know the truth, yet? I love Stephenie's foundation for the visions; they're never certain...always changing. However, some of the canon visions were more about a decision that WOULD be made rather than most that were immediately spawned from someone's choice. The vision of Bella as a Cullen is a perfect example of that. My beta/close friend and I went back and forth for some time, (she's an Alice fan and saga purist). Based on what I've observed from canon, one can assume that when Edward decided to spend the night, he set off a couple chain reaction decisions. Alice wouldn't have seen what the visit was about since the vision would have still be blurry and in its "snapshot" form, but she would have seen Bella and Edward at the house. That's just my take on it.

Whew! That was fun, although it might have been completely confusing and difficult to read. It's after two in the morning here, and I should not still be awake, (let alone typing anything)! I really, really appreciate you taking the time to respond and keeping me honest about canon! ;) Thanks for reviewing!!

BTW - go check out Twilightlexicon.com. You had asked me in your response to my review about how I knew some of what Stephenie has said about Edward's inner monologue before. The Lexicon has a bunch of information the creators got from Stephenie back when the Twilight Saga was less a saga and more a book and its sequel. Through email, (and transcript of public appearances), they assembled lots of information directly from the source that is considered canon since Stephenie said so! Example: Carlisle and Esme's previous meeting is canon and explained in one of the PC's. Go take a look! :)

Reviewer: BellaCarolina (Anonymous) · Date: January 17, 2010 06:16 PM · On: Chapter 1

SO brilliant! I love your writing, it's so nurturing and fufilling the way you write your characters.



Author's Response:

Thanks so much! :) I take a lot of care with my character treatments, so that's really nice to hear from you. I appreciate it! Look for a new multi-chapter coming soon under Post-Eclipse!

Reviewer: rosalind leconte (Signed) · Date: December 14, 2009 09:51 AM · On: Chapter 1

This is a delicate treatment of this tender moment!  Bravo!

Reviewer: mommakat (Signed) · Date: October 10, 2009 07:00 PM · On: Chapter 1

Thank you for sharing your story!  I think you did an excellant job with the characterizations and I thought the story was well-written.

Reviewer: Saturday-Savior (Signed) · Date: August 13, 2009 12:20 AM · On: Chapter 1

really great you kept it in character well



Author's Response:

Thanks! :) I was concerned about that. Glad to know I hit the mark!

Reviewer: bethc_88 (Signed) · Date: June 24, 2009 07:47 PM · On: Chapter 1

I think it was great - I hope to see more from you!



Author's Response:

Thanks! Look for my new multi-chapter fic coming soon! :)

Reviewer: Chellie (Signed) · Date: May 22, 2009 03:57 AM · On: Chapter 1

I think this was perfect! You did a really good job portraying both Edward and Alice, and I love this part of the story - of course the whole ending of New Moon was my favorite part of that book! Lol! :P 100% Team Edward!!

This is a  really good piece! I'm anxious to see more from you! Are you going to continue writing Twilight fanfiction?

~Chellie

PS: I do have some recs for other B/E stories if you are interested (albeit two are my own)! Lol! :D



Author's Response:

Just figured out how to respond to reviews! :) Thanks for the really sweet review. I love Edward and Alice's relationship as siblings, and I just felt like Alice needed to speak her peace with him once everything had calmed down.

I'm definitely still writing for Twilight. I have a longer, post-Eclipse piece in the works. The first chapter should be ready for posting in the next couple weeks. Stay tuned! I also have an Alice POV from immediately after Edward leaves, but it's still on the back burner for the moment, as much as i love it.

Feel free to PM me with recs, and I'd love to take a peek at your stuff, too. Thanks for reading & reviewing! :)

Reviewer: WhisperingWolf (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2009 03:20 PM · On: Chapter 1

oooo! I like this. You've left room open for expansion, if you decide to expand that is. Very good story. Well written!

Reviewer: Tqwerty (Signed) · Date: May 13, 2009 02:45 AM · On: Chapter 1

good story

Reviewer: AnaPrintemps (Signed) · Date: April 30, 2009 07:18 PM · On: Chapter 1

Very sweet, and I thought the characterization was very believable.

Reviewer: AnaPrintemps (Signed) · Date: April 28, 2009 06:57 PM · On: Chapter 1

Very sweet, and I thought the characterization was very believable.

Reviewer: I_Run_With_Vampires (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2009 03:13 PM · On: Chapter 1

You captured Edward's character PERFECTLY! Are you sure you're not him? I think you are. You're just trying to make us BELIEVE Vampires don't exist when you really are one. I LOVE YOU EDWARD!!!!! (in a totally brotherly kinda way. I know I could never get you away from Bella) NO, I AM NOT CRAZY!!!!!! I prefer the phrase 'obsessively aware'.

Reviewer: Hawkins (Signed) · Date: March 14, 2009 09:54 PM · On: Chapter 1

Fantastic story! The characterization was perfect.

Reviewer: Menelas (Signed) · Date: March 08, 2009 07:02 AM · On: Chapter 1

I think you did really well with this story. It's hard to believe that this is your first fic about the Twilight universe. You captured Edward's internal struggle perfectly and I thoroughly enjoyed Alice' input. Bravo!

Reviewer: k89g (Anonymous) · Date: March 04, 2009 06:40 PM · On: Chapter 1

Well you certainly got the characterisation spot on! The whole thing was a wonderful read.

I'll be sure to look out for more from you in the future!

Reviewer: folm (Signed) · Date: March 04, 2009 03:17 AM · On: Chapter 1

Great job!  You wrote Edward & Alice beautifully

Reviewer: agiismsxx (Signed) · Date: March 03, 2009 11:33 PM · On: Chapter 1

I REALLY REALLY liked this one-shot more than I could possibly tell you. It really warmed by heart for some reason. I love that Alice convinced the family to go get Bella =] I know that that would've warmed her heart. I also love that Edward finally accepted that Bella getting changed was inevitable. 

Great job!!

Reviewer: Dulcinea21bella (Signed) · Date: March 03, 2009 06:59 PM · On: Chapter 1

You did a beautiful job with this missing moment.  Your characterizations were right on.  I hope you continue to write Twilight fanfiction!  Great job with this. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!

Reviewer: rebmatmak (Signed) · Date: March 03, 2009 05:17 PM · On: Chapter 1

Great job!

Reviewer: Sheeijan (Signed) · Date: March 03, 2009 03:38 PM · On: Chapter 1

I thought this was lovely.  I really liked how you characterized Alice in particular.  A lot of fics overdo Alice and her so-called meddling, or make her this one-dimensional shopaholic.  This was a much more compassionate and loving Alice who genuinely cared for her family deeply.  I always felt her connection to Edward in particular was strong but we don't get to see that much in the books.  And besides, how can we not love Alice with this line: "Rosalie was the only one on your side. What does that tell you?"  hehehehe....

Reviewer: girliegirl (Signed) · Date: March 03, 2009 10:57 AM · On: Chapter 1

I like it! I think you got Edward perspective on watching her sleep befroe the vote.

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