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Reviewer: Crista Irene (Signed) · Date: April 23, 2009 06:30 AM · On: The Balcony

Absolutely amazing chapter! My heart is breaking for Edward right now. I'm so nervous to find out what happened to him!

Reviewer: bloodredlust (Signed) · Date: April 23, 2009 04:05 AM · On: The Face

I like... very much.  You've got me hooked honey... i can't wait to see how this unfolds... but unfortunately, my warm, vampireless bed is calling me.  I'll be back for more tomorrow.

xoxox Becca

Reviewer: bloodredlust (Signed) · Date: April 23, 2009 03:05 AM · On: The Basement

Ooooh, this is fabulous.  So angsty and raw, i can feel their pain coming through your writing.  You've got quite a talent here, hon. 

xoxox bec

Reviewer: bloodredlust (Signed) · Date: April 23, 2009 01:43 AM · On: The Hunt

Awesome first chapter.  I couldn't help but come and check out who you were after you left me such beautiful reviews... and i'm so glad i did.  This is a great idea for a story... i can't wait to see where you go with it.

Oh, i know this chapter was dark, but i couldn't help cracking up with the 'Buffy' line.  ;)  Seriously though, the poor girl wouldn't stand a chance... they could just hit her with the Cullen 'dazzle' and she'd be lost (like the rest of us).

xoxox Bec

Reviewer: lilroses_89 (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 10:48 PM · On: The Balcony

This moment was absolutely heartbreaking:

“I tried to stay awake… as long as I could…”

I tightened my arms again, showing him whatever support I could. “I knew… that once I… fell asleep…” he choked out, “I wouldn’t wake up.”

Thanks for a wonderful chapter.



Author's Response:

Aww, thanks for reviewing hon!

He's had a pretty difficult time so far, he deserves his angst :)

- Michelle

Reviewer: that_writr (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 10:46 PM · On: The Balcony

Ha.  well, no, not surprised.  Nice unfoldig here.  Throughout this story, Edward really does feel *traumatized*.  He doesn't heal suddenly, or magically, and I like that.  It really SHOULD take him a long time.  His trust of Bella is awesome. :-)



Author's Response:

Heh, not surprised?! *insert shocked face*

Yeah, he's got a long bumpy road. I sigh.

Thanks so much for the review!

- Michelle

Reviewer: katesrose (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 09:41 PM · On: The Balcony

I must admit to being a lurker. I am terrible at reviewing but I simply adore your story. The plot is so captivating; after every chapter I keep daydreaming about what will happen next. Thank you for your creativity.

Reviewer: siouxchef (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 09:20 PM · On: The Balcony

this is so incredibly fantastic.  this story freaking owns me right now, and I'm cringing and shaking for another update.  You've had me weeping quite a few times.  thank you for writing it and I can't wait to see what's next!

Reviewer: morgan_taggart (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 08:47 PM · On: The Balcony

I wasn't too suprised it would be Edward.

:D

Bella doesn't mention his beauty,velevety voice, or the artic difference of his skin hardly at all. Peculiar.

So, you leave us with a cliffhanger?

really..

really?!

REALLY!?!?!



Author's Response:

Really :D

Thanks for reviewing! :D:D:D:D

- Michelle (p.s. whoa @ overuse of toothy smilie emoticon)

Reviewer: morgan_taggart (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 08:31 PM · On: The Bath

aww... so sweet.

I'm totally falling in love with this story you've created.

its so beautifully written.

Reviewer: auddiebug (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 07:43 PM · On: The Balcony

I'm definitely not surprised that the vampire is Edward. but dang, why'd you have to end it there!?! I wanna know the rest of his story! :( hurry and post a new chapter, please!

Reviewer: faeriegal713 (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 06:59 PM · On: The Balcony

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This is going to be somewhat disjointed, but there's a lot to think about here, so please excuse the mental mess.

 

I’m impressed with how much Bella was able to pick up from our vamp in the last week.  Seeing her really think about it at school, how distracted she was during classes made it so clear how much he had affected her.  And how much she had affected him too.  Because she’s right, him being willing to go with her, to nod his head, to speak to her was more than just trusting her.  It was him basically putting his himself in her hands.  Not his physical self, though that was part of it, but he was letting her take care of him as a person.  That is something very special and not something that just anyone can or will do.

 

The homecoming thing is really going to get out of hand methinks – Mike is going to be quite annoying as are the rest of the single boys and I get the feeling that Bella is going to be driven nuts.  I’m surprised she actually did tell Mike she was going rather than say she wasn’t.  It would be the perfect excuse for her to see her vamp still and not have to worry about plane trips or possible ER visits secondary to dancing.

 

I really wish we could hear more about what Alice’s visions actually are.  It’s driving me nuts getting hints and prods in different directions.  Okay, so they are about Edward and Bella and apparently they are going to be together.  But how, and in what fashion?  And who is to blame for the visions becoming clearer?  Bella, Edward, one of the Cullens or the individuals that had to do with Edward ending up in captivity?  Gah!

 

Oh, and I like how you didn’t have Alice racing or walking or whatever while being “pummeled by the future.”  So many writers seem to have her keep going about normal life while being stuck in the future and it just doesn’t work.  Thank you!

 

It’s fascinating to watch Bella take a moment to think things through before letting her temper get the best of her.  It’s obviously helped her a lot with Charlie and it seems to show that she is actually growing a bit from her experience here.  Thank goodness.

 

But, as nice as it was to see Bella growing up a bit, I would have much preferred to have seen what was going down at the Cullen home.  Walking in on lines being drawn and peoples choosing sides was frustrating because I really want to know what is going on.  Now the Cullens all have a fairly good idea, but Bella is just as clueless as ever.  At least they seem to be willing to let things play out as without too much interference.  Well as much non interference as Alice and Emmett can manage.  And Rosalie.  She’s as unhappy about Bella doing whatever she’s going to as ever.  This whole overprotective thing is getting really weird.

 

Our vamp is talking.  And not just a few words.  He’s asking questions and answering some.  He told Bella his name.  But there was something in his history that says he wasn’t supposed to use it – I’m just guessing that because of his jerk away from her touch after he told her.  Every time we see a new reaction to different stimuli like that just makes me wonder more and more what his captors did to him.  How can a vampire be so frightened of just about everything?  It’s just so sad!  But then, his reaction to her actually using his name is almost as weird.  It’s like he couldn’t believe she was willing to call him by his name and would just continue with not saying anything in regards to who he is.  It seems like his trust for her increased greatly after that.  Enough for him to be willing to leave his room, his little piece of sanctuary.

 

I really wonder what he was thinking when she gave him the history of the Cullens.  It had to be something else to hear about these vampires that tried so hard to be good and all their adventures.  Especially Carlisle’s.

 

Oh!  We now know that at least Aro, Marcus, nor Caius visited Edward if the Volturi were involved.  He most likely would have recognized them in the large painting and had some sort of reaction.  Unless Bella was really unobservant and missed the growling or whatever he would have done.

 

Probably the biggest thing in this entire chapter is the entire balcony scene.  They aren’t declaring their undying love for each other, which is what most of us associate with balcony scenes.  Instead, Edward finally showed that he wants to find out more.  He stepped onto the balcony first.  He let himself do something for himself, not for Bella.  That had to be a huge step for him.

 

Bella’s wording, “I walked to him, closing the door behind me and taking my position next to him,” made a huge impression on me.  Without even realizing how she was thinking, she already thinks of them as more than just two people.  Her place is next to him, at his side, helping him and maybe she’ll eventually let him help her when she needs it and he can provide it.  I hope we’ll eventually get to see that.

 

So, like I said, we have him actually speaking multiple sentences, explaining a small part of himself to Bella.  But his story is so sad!  I’m happy you kept so many of the details the same, them all dying of influenza, Edward being the last one to “pass away,” even the fact that he was unconscious when the change began.  I have to wonder if when he woke up in the cage he was still in the midst of the change, still in pain, but able to recognize that things were going to be getting worse for him.  Being in a cage never means anything good.

 

The biggest question there is – what sort of cage can hold a vampire?  Especially a newborn?

 

Okay, mass word vomit, but I couldn't help it.  This was such a pivotal point in the story.  Please know that I am going to be stalking my email, waiting for updates.



Author's Response:

Hey hon -- very long review! I'll tackle it point by point??

1 - Yes, it was HUGE for him to put himself out there, specifically asking her to stay with him! Then the following day, giving her his name and some of his story -- he's completely put himself out there, well, as much as we can possibly expect from him.

The problem with her NOT going to homecoming at this point is, as they mentioned numerous times in twilight, in this small town, everyone knows everyone. Charlie would totally find out if she ditched, yanno? But yes, it'll be a pain, although maybe not gone too far into ;)

I think the hints are all pretty much in the same direction, at least I try to make them pretty much line up.  I don't want you guys fully in the dark, and there are really only a small handful of things that could create the reaction it's created, so really, I'm trying to tell you guys without telling you directly. But I'm sorry that that aspect is bugging you right now -- I understand there's a lot of different webbed plot going on, and it can get overbearing -- but with E talking now, hopefully things will start to come out. And the alice vision -- I suppose next time I do a cullen POV I might go directly into it, but we talked about it for a long time, and decided that hints were better than directly saying things.. for this chapter, at least.

Sorry Rosalie is getting weird. I'm keeping her as close to canon as possible, so I personally don't believe her behavior is ALL THAT strange, but then, I know the motivation behind it.. and soon everyone will know the motivation behind it.

I think that you're right -- her calling him by his name, him recognizing that, it all helped build trust and maybe allowed him to want to put himself out there more..

And as far as the picture goes, yes, if he had direct contact with any of them he would probably recognize them in the painting. Hints all over the place this chapter! :*

The balcony scene was huge for him, he also got to experience the outside in a semi-healthy state, he got to breathe in the cool night air, all that harlequin stuff. I agree that that step was intense :)

She also mentions that she feels "home" hugging him, so -- inadvertantly, she is declaring some pretty intense feelings during the balcony scene!

Being in a cage is bad news, I'll agree! :D

You see? Your word vomit sparked my own word vomit bb. I'm sorry that you have some frustrations about this one, I know you're not alone in wanting to know what's going on with Alice! But in the end, I'm glad that you seemed to like it! :* As always, thanks for the review :D

- Michelle

Reviewer: heathergsu02 (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 06:50 PM · On: The Balcony

He speaks!  In complete sentences too!!

 

I can't tell you how much I love this story.  Can't wait to see where you take us!

Reviewer: Venus_Star2_com (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 06:36 PM · On: The Balcony

He woke up in a cage??? Woah? Who turned edward into a vampire? were humans experimenting on him?

the suspense....argh! looking forward to more

 

rachie

Reviewer: KiddyWiddy (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 06:30 PM · On: The Balcony

Please, please update!!

Reviewer: Ms Black (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 06:28 PM · On: The Hunt

Your story was one of the topic in Chatbot last night so I thought I would check it out. So he the vampire in the basement Edward. I will read on and find out :)

Reviewer: shelby524 (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 03:50 PM · On: The Balcony

OMG!!!  I can't wait until you update again, i LOOOOVVVEEE this story!

Reviewer: kng1986 (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 12:30 PM · On: The Balcony

I am not surpirsed that your vampire is Edward but the way you portray him made me fall in love with him all over again.  I can't wait to read his story and know what Alice's visions were about. 

Reviewer: Mariposa (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 11:54 AM · On: The Balcony

Great chapter! I can't wait to see what happened to Edward and who had him.

Reviewer: GracePearl (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 11:33 AM · On: The Balcony

I love this so much : )

I'm so glad he's finally opening up.

can't wait to see what happens next.

Reviewer: AliciaZA (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 10:43 AM · On: The Balcony

Really cool chapter. And no, I wasn't suprised that the nameless vampire was Edward (lol). Am curious about Alice's visions of Bella and the future though. Can't wait to read what happens next.

AliciaZA

Reviewer: Nashi (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 10:36 AM · On: The Balcony

Wow, we finally get to hear Edward's tale. I'm so excited. :) Loving every bit of this. I'm guessing that Alice either saw E and B as a couple or B as a vampire.

Reviewer: Naymee (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 10:29 AM · On: The Balcony

AH HA! Edward makes his official appearance. Yippee!!

I just love how vunerable he is and how tender she is and just everything. I am also dying to know what Alice and Jasper know. Has she seen Bella and Edward up a tree K.I.S.S.I.N.G?

I know you have a life and everything but this was too short and I am too greedy. I need more.

You are amazing.

Reviewer: dnabgeek (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 10:27 AM · On: The Balcony

So good!!! Can't wait to read the next chapter!!! Yay 4 speaking edward!!!

Reviewer: helenleiten (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 09:59 AM · On: The Balcony

I'm not used to that Edward speaks, and I'm not suprised that his name is Edward :D But it was a great story and you know how to put a reader in pain for wanting more ;)
The ending is so exciting and I want more and now :D
But really you are a good writter!
Love you dear Michelle...
Keep up the good work ;)

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