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Reviewer: justaskalice (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2009 03:15 PM · On: Chapter 10: Busty & the Burro
oh man! what the heck is going through edward's head when she's ranting like that?! I hope you write about that in the next update. I love your Renee, she's really funny.
Reviewer: ClumsyBeyondBelief (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2009 03:09 PM · On: Chapter 10: Busty & the Burro
what a jack ass!!
Reviewer: emma austin (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2009 03:03 PM · On: Chapter 10: Busty & the Burro
Bella deserves the door slam and Edward needs to re-think his strategy here. But I love the Push guys and can't wait for spring break! Great story.
Reviewer: ainsleyhayes (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2009 03:01 PM · On: Chapter 10: Busty & the Burro
Um, can I marry Renee? Cause I think I want to marry her. And I want an innappropriate nickname! Why do my friends suck? Anyway... I really love this story. Really do. Thank you so much for writing!
Reviewer: Doomed Youth (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2009 03:01 PM · On: Chapter 10: Busty & the Burro
ahhh!!!!
poor bella... poor.. poor.. bella.
she even tried! tried!
Edward has to consider her apology. at least consider it! i have no clue whatsoever how she is going to take it, so surprise me! update.. soonish?
Reviewer: Ysar (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2009 03:00 PM · On: Chapter 10: Busty & the Burro
Okay, that was perfect. I don't know what Edward's reasons were, but the way I see it, she's treated him like shit (justifiably so, knowing her side), and he's not going to get over it in two seconds just because she spazzed out a loud apology in the hallway. It just doesn't work that way in real life. People get pissed, people apologize, people take a while to get over it even though it's not exactly fair. So that totally worked for me.
Reviewer: Meiki (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2009 02:54 PM · On: Chapter 10: Busty & the Burro
*prepares to pimp-slap Edware* Get 'im, Bella!!
Reviewer: Dustyyy (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2009 12:32 PM · On: Chapter 9: Mama's & Ex's
More. *drools*
Reviewer: Creative_Thinker (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2009 06:37 AM · On: Chapter 7: Stink Bombs & Fishnet Thongs
Ok. You really took me back with NSYNC'S 'It's Gonna Be Me' song. I have that on my iPod. As I'm writing this review, it just mysteriously came on! LMAO
So, I've noticed that it's only been like a week since the incident that led to Edward and Bella's fall-out. Do you plan on making every chapter based on one day? If so, then that's going it's to be difficult for me to continue your story. It's not that it's not good. But I can't go through an online novel. That takes up too many hours that aren't needed, especially when it's not even related to the title itself.
I mean, if it takes you nine chapters to write a about an event in a week, I can imagine exactly how many more chapters it will take before the two of them finally decide to sit down and have a reasonable conversation. I honestly can't say for sure if I will be around to finish this story. Why?
There are sooooo many fanfictions online, not just at this site. And when your story halts until its next chapter, I will have had time to read up to 10 more stories, and by the time I come back to yours, I will have forgotten what the story is even about. And that's what happens when I come across stories that are just too too detailed about things that don't have anything to do with what attracted me to the story in the first place.
You get what I'm saying?
I just hope this won't be a 30 something chapter that doesn't even get to the breaking point until the 18th chapter. Then by the time it gets to the breaking point, it's not even interesting or it just doesn't make sense. And I find myself really skipping long paragraphs that aren't saying anything afrer I've skimmed through them, because it's just too wordy!
My point is this; I really want to come to like your story. But, why am I reading any and everyone else when I should be reading about the Bella, Edward, and the tutoring? After all, that is what the summary states, right? Please don't jump down my throat when you read this. I am still turning into a fan. It is just taking me longer than I would have like. lol Anyway, I'll try to be patient and work with you, as I can tell that you really DO care about what you are writing. It actually does show.
Author's Response: I'll try not to jump down your throat, but I'm not going to lie and say I'm not completely flabbergasted, and just a little pissed off.
First off, let me just make it clear that nowhere did I state that the story would be ABOUT the tutoring sessions. I simply said he needed help and she's his tutor. That is indeed what is <b>in</b> my story; case closed, moving on.
As far as the slow-moving pace goes, I understand what you're saying. I was just thinking about that the other day. Things are going to pick up here quickly, because I'm having way too many ideas floating through my head that I'd like to weave into a chapter soon, and I can't if it's still like, a week in. After the next chapter, it'll stop being a day-by-day thing and skip on a few weeks' time. I didn't have to write it the way I did, I just chose to. I'm a sucker for ample detail, and when I feel it's necessary, I elaborate. That's all I can really say.
I know these are just your personal opinions, but honestly, there isn't any need to keep reviewing with nothing but criticism and your adversity of where it's going. I'm sorry my story isn't quite up to your standards, and I'd like for everybody who reads my story to enjoy it, but I'm not going to cry about it if they don't. That includes you. You don't have to keep reading it, and you don't have to like it. If you don't already, chances are, you probably won't in the future.
Thank you for taking the time to read and attempt to enjoy my story, though. I appreciate that much.
Reviewer: Creative_Thinker (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2009 06:28 AM · On: Chapter 9: Mama's & Ex's
Let me guess; Tanya's gonna come the same time Jacob's gonna come. Then some stupid jealousy thing is going to erupt between Edward and Bella...blah blah blah.
Too much conflict for something so simple. I could see if they were in high school, but they are too old for this shit.
Well, I stuck with it so far, and that's all I can really promise. Same concept, different story.
Reviewer: Creative_Thinker (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2009 05:49 AM · On: Chapter 8: Sex Changes & Eiffel 65
Ooooookay. Something is definitely mentally wrong with Bella....
Reviewer: Creative_Thinker (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2009 04:31 AM · On: Outtake 1: The Mission
Well, it's something. Now, I just may stick with this story. FINALLY!
Don't worry; I'm not one of those readers who gets all hyped up about when the sex is going to play.
*clears throat*
Moving on.....
Reviewer: barbarito (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2009 04:13 AM · On: Chapter 9: Mama's & Ex's
Oh my!! I hope bella will be able to apologize to Edward for freaking out on him. I wonder why he called Tanya? Is she going to visit and Bella will get jealous? Will he get jealous when Jake visits? Will Jake end up with Tanya? HAHA!! All these questions! Cnanot wait for more! Loved it!!
Reviewer: lynnarro (Signed) · Date: April 21, 2009 02:29 PM · On: Chapter 9: Mama's & Ex's
I was just wondering about the anal about being late for something...did someone in particular influence that? lol
Author's Response: haha, you of course! :P i want a milkshake
Reviewer: Twinklefae (Signed) · Date: April 21, 2009 08:04 AM · On: Chapter 9: Mama's & Ex's
Interesting. Can't wait to see what happens!
Reviewer: JShay (Signed) · Date: April 21, 2009 05:44 AM · On: Chapter 9: Mama's & Ex's
Awww man I wanted some interaction :( oh well :) I stayed and read this chapter anyway. I think I'm gonna be late but I couldn't help myself. I love this stuff! I love this story and I can not wait to see what happens next! You're awesome.
Reviewer: JShay (Signed) · Date: April 21, 2009 05:25 AM · On: Chapter 8: Sex Changes & Eiffel 65
Holy Cow! My gosh that sucked for him! She really is a bitch :) It's so freakin hillarious though! I love it. I am so mad I can't stay here and read the next chapter! Work! Ugh
Reviewer: Smoochiefrog (Signed) · Date: April 20, 2009 08:18 PM · On: Chapter 9: Mama's & Ex's
Chapter 8 was freaking awesome! Loved it!
Reviewer: Belledward (Signed) · Date: April 20, 2009 07:42 PM · On: Chapter 9: Mama's & Ex's
Fuck. Not enough Bella and Edward. Too much Tanya. Not enough Bella and Edward. Too much of... did I mention, Tanya? Fuck it all! But it was still enjoyable. Minus the Tanya part. I'm sorry! lol I've been conditioned and I've been spoiled fo rmuch too long. Nothing better happen. Though I'm SURE Tanya's gonna come to visit and Edward's gonna use her to make Bella jealous. Good God. The drama! Things should start to pick up quickly. and soon. Please! No more of the bad drama. Just good drama = ] Hope you update soon.
Author's Response: Haha aww, don't fret! She's not a douche in this one! I'm writing chapter 10 right now, though I'm only a few pages in. But it will be posted on Sunday. :)
Reviewer: JShay (Signed) · Date: April 20, 2009 07:41 PM · On: Outtake 1: The Mission
I will never hate this chapter! It's freaking amazing! I love Rose :) Especially right this very second :) Wow Go Bella! She didn't need as much help as they seemed to think. Of course things will probably go back downhill. Can't all be chocolate and roses now can it?! I still freakin love this!
Reviewer: Krugness (Signed) · Date: April 20, 2009 06:38 PM · On: Chapter 9: Mama's & Ex's
I'm thinking Bella owes Edward an apology for the screech fest she put him through. The poor guy was being nice and gentlemanly and she screams and knocks him out of the bed. I can see that she was startled and reacted without thinking. Now that she's thought about it and realized he did the right thing she needs to do something nice for him. Perhaps she could try not to be the Bipolar-Bella that she seems to be everytime he gets close to her? :) I agree with Edward that Mondays suck.
Reviewer: JShay (Signed) · Date: April 20, 2009 06:10 PM · On: Chapter 7: Stink Bombs & Fishnet Thongs
There really isn't a such thing as too long for me. I really really enjoyed this chapter! The music store was absolutely hillarious. Bella is so violent! So funny!
Reviewer: JShay (Signed) · Date: April 20, 2009 12:20 PM · On: Chapter 6: Vagina's & 2Pac
Hey so this was awesome as usual. Emmett is hillarious as usual. I am just curious so Edward is from Forks....but of course Bella didn't live there just visited. But in that small town he didn't know her? Or at least of her?
Reviewer: Fleuri-anne (Signed) · Date: April 20, 2009 11:41 AM · On: Chapter 9: Mama's & Ex's
I already hate Tanya haha! I see Bella getting jealousss! They should get druk and be sweet again haha! Can't wait for more!
Reviewer: JShay (Signed) · Date: April 20, 2009 11:39 AM · On: Chapter 5: Sexy poses & Sexless eons
Wow, She couldn't even get an apology out. Angela could have helped that situation a bit ya know. But anyway I have a feeling that's not how it's going to go at all :) Either way it's hillarious. By the way I like your chapter titles.
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