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Reviewer: twinut (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 10:22 PM · On: Crushed
I knew something life-threatening was coming for Bella when she had the flat tire. I just didn't think it would be her own klutziness. I probably should have, lol! Yay! she gets to find out soon! right....? I didn't think Billy was too harsh, it was very much his character, and he was trying to protect Bella who is sort of his family. So, I think it was a good reaction on his part.
Author's Response: I thought I was being too obvious with the tire thing, even back in Chapter 4 when I first referenced the jack being rusty, but I'm glad not everyone saw exactly how it would happen (I guess it was just so blatant to me b/c I was the one writing it). Thanks for the review!
Reviewer: foreveryoung (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 07:52 PM · On: Crushed
BElla needs to break up with Jacob really soon. She should break it off with him but not feel too terribly about it because she knows it is for the best for him. Your story is so good, i cannot tell you!! Great Job!
Author's Response: The thing is, she doesn't think breaking up with Jake is what's best for her; she thinks he needs her, just like she used to think she needed him to survive. Gah, the angst!
Reviewer: juliet233 (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 07:25 PM · On: Crushed
This is a fantastic chapter! I had completely forgetten about the foreshadowing, so the truck thing came as a surprise. Mall Madness is such an awesome game :D And I think Billy's reaction is completely logical considering, well, everything you pointed out that I don't need to restate. I can't wait for the next chapter! :)
Author's Response: Mall Madness does rule. I cannot stress this enough.
Reviewer: noromanceinchina (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 06:55 PM · On: Crushed
This is my favorite fanfic. It's so real. I can identify with your Bella a lot more than Meyer's Bella. It's just a great story all around. :)
Author's Response: That's quite a complement! Realness was a goal of mine when I started writing, at least as real as you can be in a world where a teenage girl, a vegetarian vampire, and a soon-to-be werewolf form a heated love triangle. I appreciate the review!
Reviewer: sedrax (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 06:36 PM · On: Crushed
yay! it's finally happening! Woot! (lol) no but really, that was an amazing chapter! the kitchen confrontation was amazing. I almost thought jake would loose it and phase for the first time right there. The twist about the truck being the way she discovers what he is was perfect. I honestly think that was better than SM's version. That scene needed to be intimate, and between just the two of them. Having it in the dark in the middle of nowhere was even better. Now I definetly can't wait for the next like 30 chapters! LoL. Love this story. totally!
Author's Response: Oh, geez, I hope there aren't 30 more chapters! (Although I do have quite a few left to write, but nothing that will turn this into some 100-chapter monster that never ends). As for the intimacy of the life-saving/vamp reveal, I wanted it to be that way b/c B & E know each other so much better at this point than they did during the van incident in the original book that something with just the two of them seemed more appropriate to push thing along plot-wise. Regardless, thanks!
Reviewer: closet_twilighter (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 06:10 PM · On: Crushed
I thought Billy was a little harsh but I also believe that he sees more of Bella's feelings for Edward (and Alice, I suppose) than either she or Jake realizes. I think his goal of protecting her is noble and justifies the way he acted, especially after her reactions to his words. I liked this a lot. I hope that B and E talk seriously soon and that she can see how he feels about her. I'm excited to read more, please update soon! Thanks for sharing another great chapter.
Author's Response: Oh, Bella and Edward will have several talks b/c of this, trust me. Thanks for the review! (Also, I love your user name; I too am a closet Twilight fan...but slowly, my obsession is bringing me out into the open)
Reviewer: AliceElizabeth (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 06:01 PM · On: Crushed
SCREAM will review properly when am capable of coherant typing
Author's Response: Take your time composing yourself...I appreciate anything you want to stay regarding IVO, coherent or not ;)
Reviewer: COLDASICEx3 (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 05:46 PM · On: Crushed
EEEEEEEEEEE!
Author's Response: I know, right?
Reviewer: Kdb9mm (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 04:02 PM · On: Crushed
Yay, she finally will get to know the truth about the Cullens! I love that Bella defended them, it is so her to do that. I kind of wish she would just break up with Jake, but I am sure that will happen at some point. I love this story so please update soon!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm hard at work on Ch. 23, so check back soon.
Reviewer: CapriciousC (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 03:32 PM · On: Crushed
Ah, excellent! I loved the way you characterized Jake and Bella like a middle-aged couple - it was so appropriate. It's like they both know it's over, but neither one can bring themselves to end it. *sigh* Here are my thoughts on Billy: I do think he was a bit too harsh, but mostly in the way he worded things. The fastest way to alienate a teenager is to imply that said teenager is really just a child and isn't wise enough to make their own decisions. So he's basically pushing her right toward the Cullens by getting her ire up. I understand his emotional response to them, though. I'm so sad for Bella right now - she really believes that Edward cares nothing for her, and she's harboring this passionate, unrequited love. Plus at this point I think she's staying with Jake out of a combination of guilt and the belief that she has no one else, not even any other friends. I liked what Renee had to say to her in the previous chapter, though - even though Bella didn't really seem to hear it, it was great advice. I'm really enjoying seeing Edward and Bella's relationship develop over time - as much as I love the books, I always thought things happened between them awfully fast. Plus, I loves me some sexual tension! As my husband frequently tells me, "Denial is NOT just a river in Egypt."
Author's Response: I too am a sucker for sexual tension and felt like Twilight went to quickly. I would have read through 1000 pages of Edward and Bella working up to being a couple; damn SM's editors! (Just think of she could have given us if not for all those "action-packed" end chapters dedicated to James!)
Reviewer: crazygreenfrog (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 02:12 PM · On: Crushed
Good stuff! Wonderful chapter with lots of drama. Update soon!
Author's Response: I do dig the drama. Glad you do too!
Reviewer: flowerpower45 (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 02:08 PM · On: Crushed
i am so in love with your story, cant wait for more!
Author's Response: More is on its way!
Reviewer: sweeta8585 (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 01:31 PM · On: Crushed
I got soo excited when I saw there was a new chapter.. this is definately my fav story. Can't wait to see how Edward is going to explain himself! Great chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks! Your curiosity about Edward will be resolved very soon.
Reviewer: wants_an_edward86 (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 01:28 PM · On: Crushed
oooh this is really good...i really enjoy the way you've handled the story...please post soon cuz i can't wait to see whre things are going! And no I think you made Billy just right, he was a bit of a douchebag in Twilight and i thought he was pretty accurate in this story too
Author's Response: Billy did have a certain douche quality in the book, I agree.
Reviewer: dawntwilight000 (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 11:39 AM · On: Crushed
OMG!! A. I was so excited to see an update. B. A long chapter. C. An absolute amazing chapter! You were nnot to harsh on Billy. The entire chapter was awesome! I had to read it twice because it was just tooofriggingood! Now I can't wait for more!!
Author's Response: Thrilled you like the longer chapters. Even though it makes my updates less frequent, I'm much happier writing more at once; it feels less choppy.
Reviewer: d2woodworth (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 11:17 AM · On: Crushed
Awesome! I love it! I cant wait to read more!
Author's Response: Cool, thanks!
Reviewer: CoyotegurlNikki (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 11:09 AM · On: Crushed
I love this story and I feel horrible that I haven't given a proper review! As for Mall Madness, I owned that game too! This was your best chapter by far and I don't think Billy was too harsh at all. I actually see him as a tough sort of guy, I mean he is an elder. If I were in Bella's shoes I would have reacted the same way. He was trying to warn her without an actually reason and asking her to judge them based on that. So, I think you did an excellent job!
Author's Response: Good, I'm glad you bought Billy's semi-jerky behavior and Bella's reaction. Whenever I write "fight scenes," so to speak, I get nervous that I'm turning the characters into crazed caricatures.
Reviewer: Katrina (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 11:07 AM · On: Crushed
Wow. Just wow. That chapter was intense. In respect of the whole story I just want to say how much I adore it! Its such an original and well thought out (not to mention well written) take on the scenario without just re-writing twilight with some Jacob/Bella angst. The characters ring so true...often in stories it can be easy to forget that Jake is still very young and you capture his moments of immaturity perfectly, he and Bella were content and happy so long as there was nothing to rock the boat, but when things started to change he wasn't able to cope with that. And Bella was happy to settle until Edward opened her eyes to the possibilities that were open to her, not to mention the idea of passion. In some respects no I don't think Billy was too harsh knowing what he does, but he went about it in totally the wrong way to get through to Bella - not that he would ever have a chance of succeeding given her feelings. And the whole truck crushing rescue from immenent death was rad ;) I can't wait to see what feelings/revelations this brings to the surface I think it will definitely be the catalyst Edward needs to open his eyes to the true nature of his feelings for Bella...so long denial! Eagerly anticipating the conversation that follows this incident!!! Thank you very much for sharing I loved this chapter :-)
Author's Response: Wow, fantastic review (I get a little excited when I get ones with multiple paragraphs). Thanks for recognizing the "radness" of the truck scene; I've had that running around in my head since the beginning. Again, thank you!
Reviewer: Sheeijan (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 11:06 AM · On: Crushed
I don't think Billy was too harsh. I was a little surprised at Bella's reaction, I just have such a hard time picturing her being harsh with anyone even if it is to defend Edward. This is such an interesting "what if" scenario. I can't wait to see what's next.
Author's Response: Glad you like my little (semi-epic) story. Good stuff is coming up, so stay tuned.
Reviewer: chloe9 (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 10:37 AM · On: Crushed
Another awesome chapter, this story just blows me away, I love it!
Author's Response: Awesome, thanks!
Reviewer: helena_handbasket (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 08:58 AM · On: Crushed
I think Billy was done just right. I think it's reasonable that his expression of concern would take on more of an angry/disappointed chastizing father if their relationship had been like that, rather than just the casual one in Twilight. I so love this story. Love, love, love.
Author's Response: Three consecutive "loves"? Hope future chapters continue to earn your love in triplicate. Thanks!
Reviewer: hhawkes (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 08:51 AM · On: Crushed
I like it, he still saved her and now she can figure out what he is. Don't worry about Billy, he was worse in the book, almost stalker like. At least this time he said those things himself.
Author's Response: I almost forgot how he always seemed to be lurking around, waiting for Bella for (possibly) hours before she got home. That was pretty stalker-like. Eek. Anyway, thanks for your review!
Reviewer: Jennmc (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 08:44 AM · On: Crushed
Woah. That was an intense chapter. I knew Edward would save her from the truck, but I was still cringing through that whole part. I remembered the jack thing from chapter 4. Considering Billy's position I don't think he was too harsh. I am surprised Jake sat back as much as he did. He could have asked his dad to drop it without being disrespectful. Just my opinion. Of course he is not happy about Bella's friendship with Edward, so maybe he was hoping his dad could put an idea in her head to stop that friendship. I was worried Jake would get so upset with Bella that he would phase. I'm glad it didn't happen that way.
Author's Response: The reason Jake wasn't more proactive in defending Bella is b/c he didn't really see it as that big of a deal, simply b/c he doesn't understand how close Bella has become with the Cullens (i.e., Edward) so he doesn't see why she's so upset. Plus, she disses his dad, which is a violation of the Girlfriend Code. I appreciate the review!
Reviewer: Morgan (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 08:34 AM · On: Crushed
Thank you for updating, I love this story. Also Billy wasn't too harsh, he's exactly as he should be.
Author's Response: Billy is just always annoyingly meddling, isn't he? (though I upped it a notch here). I'm thrilled you're enjoying the ride so far.
Reviewer: Solidae (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2008 08:19 AM · On: Crushed
I just love this story so much - I can't tell you enough! The only thing I hate? It ends! And then I'm back to waiting... More Soon Please!!!
Author's Response: I'm almost done w/ Ch. 23, if that helps your waiting pass a bit easier.
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