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Reviews For first light
Reviewer: SalazarEmrys (Signed) · Date: October 20, 2013 05:44 AM · On: Control

Hmmm, nice going dude, i like your version of Edward, not like every author on this site who are making him over protective pathetice little shit, i hate it you know, your version is More realastice,i know it,s kind of late to review but i,m new on this website, and after reading your story i just can,t stop myself, good job, wish you all the best for your upcoming stories, sorry for any mistakes english is not my 1st language, and i am learner so . . . . . . . . ! REGARDS Krissh Emrys

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 10, 2013 06:09 PM · On: Epilogue II: Eternity

JB and bella both tried not to feel anything for one another, but it was still there and very palpable. The little touches and stares were filled with longing. I feel sorry for edward, but he really should use that penny around his neck and ask bella what she is feeling 'right now' or have ever felt.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 10, 2013 05:01 PM · On: Resolution

This seems extremely dangerou and stupid to leave this looming threat open like this. They take alec's head [angering jane], show off bella's amazing gift [leaving aro drooling w/ curiosity], and embarassed caius [making them his #1 priority]. Then they left them ALL alive on a ''promise'' to live in relative peace. Are you f'ing serious?????. So what that they made a promise? THEY ARE LIAR'S!. All they are going to do is attack later!. Cullens are idiots.

Not my book so, ok w.ev's.

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Bella, taking control of janes power and hitting aro back w/ the same demand he gave to her, was fantastic.

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We  came close to a Felix vs. Emmett fight.  Almost folks

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Bella is a berserker in a fight. She attacks all. Good angle. No other fanfic took that one before.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 10, 2013 04:02 PM · On: Humanity

This move against the volturi by the cullens is a very dangerous half-measure. Especially since they have no intention of finishing the job. How can they say that they have peaceful intentions when the begin their fight like this?. I hope the following chapters makes this move make sense. 

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 10, 2013 12:54 PM · On: Vacation

awww, E/b seem so so 'friendly'. Seriously the seem more friends than lovers and or soulmates.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 10, 2013 11:57 AM · On: Strategy

Why are they sooo 'pet' over the Volturi? They could take out the party that is coming and fly to italy w/ the denali's and finish off the rest. If they thought like a warlords that is.. But sense they don't, I guess putting your head down so it can be used as a booth rest is always a plan b for you.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 10, 2013 11:32 AM · On: Strength

They had to know that was coming. I can't be a shock that the volturi will pay them a visit. But why are the volturi shocked that Carlise added to his coven? it was due to thier order that it happened, so why be surprised that there is now eight cullens?. Makes no sense, but w.evs. 

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LOL to the arm wrestling, now she needs to learn how to scrap.

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I guess rosalie's talent is 'insta-bitch'. Seems as soon as bella touched her she got irrated, more and more.

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Sidenote: With this new ablilty bella has, now will be a good time to get inside edwards mind to se the damage her affection for JB had on him. To see the havoc she caused when she was walking around with nothing but air in her head. Ignorance is not an excuse!.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 10, 2013 07:38 AM · On: Home

I 'like' your writing, but I don't get the same sense if desperate passion between Edward and Bella as I get from other fanfics. You don't have to describe a porn scene, but I can't feel any real love from them. I feel they are both still recovering from the JB incident and are still repressed and not as gun-ho as they could've been. As I read, it feels like Edward and Bella's love is a shadow of what it could've been if Edward stayed. I guess the purity is gone; and it both of thier faults. Yes, Edward abandoned her, but it didn't take Bella long to develop feelings for another, now did it?. If e/b love was supposed to be this unbreakable thing, then why did she allow Jacob to stain that purity so easily?. He was only gone for months an yes it was painful but still... It must be painful for Edward to know that her "great" love for him can be broken in less than a year. 

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 10, 2013 06:54 AM · On: Thirst

Why is her color changing so fast? How fast is she compared to edward?, How come she hasn't met w/ eleazar yet?, where is Rose and Em?.

Just a few questions.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 10, 2013 06:52 AM · On: Senses

"Can you show me what Jacob smelled like?"  -Bella

I know she needs to ask this, but seriously?. I wish I knew certain parts of the eclipse version you wrote. It would be nice to put a story to some of my assumptions of what happened. I don't want to read the whole story, I know bella is walking around w/ nothing but air in her head, while she makes edward suffer. But I need to see how she finally comes to her 'senses'.

But she is married and a vampire... She needs to let JB go already. He was never trying to be a friend to her and she knows it.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 09, 2013 09:27 PM · On: The Wedding

Yeaaaahhhh No JB crashing the wedding. I am LOVING This. I have never been a team E or J. I have been a team 'common sense'. And on team common sense, you DON"T invite spurned suitors to your wedding or baby shower; especially since all they will be doing is sending you on guilt trips over your choices!.

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She said she only invited 'real friends'; which mean something happened and she finally saw the light about JB intentions [not like he was trying to hide it]. Clearly she broke away from him, but what exactly happened. And why is mentioning his name so taboo?.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 09, 2013 08:53 PM · On: Logistics

Jeez, I don't know how the eclipse chapters went in your  AU [since you didn't post it], but clearly just the mention  of JB is taboo to Bella.

It shouldn't be taboo, she should be able to mention his name without feeling butterflies if she is 'truly' the mate of another. The fact that she is feeling 'something' is sickening to me as a reader. Clearly she still has some confusion to get rid of. I hope JB doesnt make an appearance at her wedding. Him doing that in SM's crayon version of BD was ridiculous!, I have no idea why edward would chance that?. Or why bella invited 'knowning' how he feels about her. They both needed to set a clear boundry w/ JB, and failed to do so; especially Bella.

 

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 09, 2013 06:54 PM · On: Preface

Hmmm nice preface shows gr8 promise. But what happened to the eclipse version of your sAga. I want to read and at the same time don't. Even though u claim "AU" the only thing u change is the POV. The blindness of Bella, and masochastic silence of Edward; when it comes to JB is ridiculous. I don't think I can suffer through Bella's clueness for another time.

Reviewer: Andrea (Anonymous) · Date: November 15, 2011 03:12 PM · On: Preface

Beautiful...

Reviewer: kycee (Signed) · Date: October 23, 2010 04:49 PM · On: Epilogue II: Eternity

Just finished reading this for the second time.  Still love your story.  I like the different route you took.  Seems more realistic.  

Reviewer: modern_audrey (Signed) · Date: October 10, 2010 08:26 PM · On: Epilogue II: Eternity

I love this story!  I've seen Bella with this type of ability before, but this is the best take on it I've read.   I also loved how you wrapped things up with the Volture.  I do sort of wish I'd stopped at the first epilogue, though.  It seemed to end things on a much brighter note, and considering that neither the pack nor Jacob were a major feature of this story it seems awkward and unneccessary to center the ending around them.  I also didn't care for Jacob's wife being from Alaska; considering the Cullens' ties to that particular region, it seems far too coincidental. 

Reviewer: leeseeq (Signed) · Date: August 05, 2010 06:22 PM · On: Rebirth

I loved this twist in the story! Very clever!  I'm struggling a little bit to stay present in the story though- in spite of the plot developments that I'm really interested in!  I think I'm mostly having a hard time with the dialogue.  We're used to getting descriptions along with the dialogue that clue us in to the feelings and tone of the person speaking.  In the last couple of chapters there has been much less of that.  I'm afraid that leaves the characters sounding a little hollow to me and therefore the reader's immersion in the story wanes.  You've got such a great piece of plot development going here.  Enrich our perspective and let us know the characters again.

Reviewer: leeseeq (Signed) · Date: August 05, 2010 05:04 PM · On: Control

I'm loving this story, Just a few minor criticisms- The was the dinner he made for her.  There was just something kind of cheesy about it, and Edward ISN'T cheesy.  Also that he said Pride and Prejudice was one of his favorite books too.  Edward is so genuine and that somehow seems like something a guys would say to impress a girl.  If Edward did like that book it seems like he would have said something he liked about it, not that it was just one of his favorites That would seem more like him and also seem more real. Lastly, one of the things we all love about Edward is his control.  He embodies restraint with a capital "R".  To me it's so much more romantic when he uses his restraint.  I really can't see him letting Bella take her shirt off and getting that out of control.  Instead of being excited that he was showing his human side, I felt kind of sad for that scene 

Reviewer: edc_robp (Signed) · Date: January 12, 2010 02:09 PM · On: Epilogue II: Eternity

this chapter was really touching.  thanks for writing!

Reviewer: Starnani21 (Signed) · Date: December 22, 2009 01:10 AM · On: Control

I've been with my boyfriend now for 3 years. Before he was my boyfriend officially, he regularly stayed late at my place (if you get my drift). We are going to be married in 2 years and I find myself wondering if it is best to cease our physical relationship until the wedding. I've heard that after becoming engaged that a lot of people do that now.

Reading this has made me wonder just how important the physical relationship really is. I mean all of the stories that I've read has planted the seed in my mind. I never thought sex was really all that important. I mean, as long as your are in a committed relationship where both parties are happily satisfied with the rules, boundaries, and depths of the union... should it really matter if you have sex before or after the officiating ceremony?

Sometimes I look at Jeff and I just want to touch him, to hold him, to kiss him and be as close as I possibly can be to him. I love him and I don't think that will lessen or increase regardless of our sex drives. And we've gone months without, at some points. Sometimes, I feel like his sexual attraction to me is reaffirming of his spoken feelings for me.

I guess, Edward and Bella's waiting has more to do with personal choice regarding the rules of interpersonal intimacy. I can't say that I believe there is a right and wrong when it comes to relating to someone one-on-one. You just do what feel right and what works for the parties involved.

Well... that completes this therapy session. Thank you for listening. Reply if there's something you'd like to add to my young adult confused ramblings.



Author's Response:

I'm not sure I have anything to add...I guess I'm of the belief that changing what you do for the sake of a wedding isn't something I'd choose.  In B&E's case here, they've abstained for so long, that even Bella realizes that 'giving in' just a few days before the wedding would be a mistake.  While she was supremely happy and flattered and aroused by Edward's advances, somewhere inside her, she knew that he would regret not waiting the last few days - it goes back to their discussion of sin in Eclipse (in the Compromise chapter, I think), and also her denial of him at the very end of Eclipse - he offered himself to her then as well.

For me, a wedding is a public declaration of your lifelong connection to one human being.  That connection has to have been forged somehow before the actual ceremony, and how a couple chooses to do that is up to them.  It's a true blessing when you find your soul mate...and sex is icing on the cake IMO 8-D

Congrats to you and Jeff for finding each other!

blondie

Reviewer: Starnani21 (Signed) · Date: December 22, 2009 12:04 AM · On: The Gift

I haven't read this story for a long time now. But I must say that it's nice to read more about Esme and see her influence within the family first hand.

Reviewer: Twilightlurrvver (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2009 12:58 AM · On: Preface

ok so i listened to this on my ipod and it was sooo amazing i cried when i LISTENED to the funeral chapter and the thing is, is that i  NEVER  cry when i llistne to fics... So thank you for letting them turn your amazing story into to an ific

 

Reviewer: Edwardsfavoritebrunette (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2009 01:05 PM · On: Resolution

Wow, listening to the iFic of this story completes me. This story is unbelievable. You use such great diction and make allusions to other books/stories that really enhances the writing. Does that make sense? I hope it does. Your storyline is IMPECCABLE. I can't wait for this Friday to listen to the next episode!

Reviewer: Jazz_fan (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2009 06:39 PM · On: Extra: Edward's Anger Management

Wow, this was a really amazing story. So far it's definitely my favourite version of what happens after Eclipse without following into Breaking Dawn. You have a talent!

Reviewer: dh_director (Signed) · Date: October 18, 2009 08:52 PM · On: Extra: Edward's Anger Management

I know this was written a long time ago, but I feel the need to comment on it anyway. This was just lovely. In some ways it was a better ending than Breaking Dawn.

Well done!

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