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Reviews For Aro's Heir
Reviewer: Sarmomemt (Signed) · Date: December 30, 2015 04:36 PM · On: Chapter 23

I'm a survivor myself and while I review very few stories, I generally feel the need to review ones that don't use the act purely as a form of entertainment but as a way to open the eyes of some to the horrors of being victimized and the complexities and constant struggles of being a survivor. I had started a story that started out frighteningly similarly but hadn't finished or published it and now I know that the story I thought I had uniquely conceived couldn't have been told any better then you have done. This is now one of the stories I've been most touched and impressed by. If not THE best then at least in the top 5 out of the hundreds I've read. Thank you for sharing and for being one of so few who convey the story of a survivor in such a way that honors us all. 

Reviewer: AshSomber (Signed) · Date: June 29, 2015 10:18 AM · On: Chapter 23

You are a very gifted writer and your talent has not gone unnoticed. This piece was a truly absorbing and nothing short of compelling, a journey that you managed to articulate a very satisfying if somewhat emotional ending. You deserve credit and I hope you have received. -AshSomber



Author's Response:

thank you so much!!  i sincerely appreciate your thoughts and praise.  even several years after completing it, it still brings me joy when the story touches someone's heart.  

Reviewer: BellaKara (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2015 10:43 AM · On: Chapter 23

I love this story. So many other writers have used this or a similar theme but have never delved into what it is actually like. I think that's the best part and it is sure to help some who might read it and perhaps use as a starting point to begin venting their feelings. I hope you keep on writting, you're very good.

Reviewer: debb8 (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2014 01:49 PM · On: Chapter 23

I have just started reading twilight fiction. A little late, I know. I loved this story. Your writing skills are amazing. I hope you are continuing writing. Your talent should not be wasted.

Reviewer: Jaime (Signed) · Date: October 12, 2013 09:34 PM · On: Chapter 18

I absolutely love that Jane turned her back on the Volturi, killed Alec, and is trying to accept the Cullen's help.  So proud of this character and her bravery.  I also loved that Bella was able to deliver Mason normally (well, as normal as possible) and Edward was made to be a father and husband.  He absolutely excels at it and I love this side of him.  Jake is amazing in this, being so loving and fitting in so well into the Cullen family.  So glad that he realized that Bella belonged with Edward and remained her greatest friend.  So good!

Reviewer: skr4romance (Signed) · Date: July 26, 2013 02:37 PM · On: Chapter 23

Thank you for writing this story and letting all of us in the fandom enjoy it.  I think my favorite part was the way you portrayed Jane as something more than an evil monster.  That was a refreshing change.  I like it when authors stay fairly close to cannon but then enhance the characters or make adaptations that are plausible, based on the circumstances of their stories.  Even Emmett was given some good character elements.

 

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: July 15, 2013 08:31 PM · On: Chapter 15

A Jane with character.....I like.

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2013 08:32 PM · On: Chapter 11

Nap time

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2013 07:15 PM · On: Chapter 10

Go Carlisle, open up a big can of whoop ass on those douchebags

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2013 04:57 PM · On: Chapter 9

Damn,evil bastards aren't they

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2013 06:12 PM · On: Chapter 6

Here comes the bride.... Hmmm I'm sure Aro isn't going to let this one slide

 

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2013 05:03 PM · On: Chapter 4

Twins.....hmmm

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2013 04:27 PM · On: Chapter 3

Aro is Satan in the flesh, what an evil SOB you have created the perfect character to dispise. I hope Carlisle kills him.

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2013 03:41 PM · On: Chapter 2

Jasper is going to kick someone's ass and I hope he starts with Jane

Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2013 03:10 PM · On: Chapter 1 (Jan 2012 edit)

Very interesting start, and much more plausible than Aro just letting them all leave. Can't wait to see where this goes.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 30, 2013 10:18 AM · On: Chapter 23

So many questions still. Such as Is jane part of the family?

 Do masen and cara bodies harden over time?

Did jacob imprint or is leah in for another tough situation when he does? [b/c that did not have the look of someone who imprinted]

Im there are still so many more question but whatever, you did what you could.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 30, 2013 09:17 AM · On: Chapter 22

"My jakey" - cara. Oh dear god... please x3, don't take this path. He belongs w/ leah end of story.

This story reads like an abridged version of a better one. There is sooo much left to squeeze out here.

How did the allies feel about janes presence?, How is jane relationship w/ the family now?, What are the future plans for the next move? How does jane feel about charlie getting so close to the truth?, Should masen just 'make' charlie feel that his just need to know is the best he will or should get to the truth?, Does jane secretly mourn alec?. Does she get sympathy points for her lost? Does bella ever befriend her and if so on what bases?. Leah and jane are getting alone on the fringe of things so are they going to keep in contact w/ one another???

I mean, there is soooooooooo much left unanswered. You could write a book  to fill all of this in.  I think you story is about 30k words too short of where it should've been.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 30, 2013 06:56 AM · On: Chapter 19

Jake scowled at the cranky blonde, and reluctantly handed Cara over, but not before planting a dozen tiny kisses on her head. - excerpt

I was really worried for a second. He really takes thing to an uncomfortable level. He seems like he will be the 'uncle' in the family all the girls in the family hear about. The one not to go near.

I really hope, whatever he was feeling w/ leah was real. At least enough to give Bella and her new family some space for a week or two. This everyday thing is sick.

Next:

Its ok that edward can hear her, but it always played a crucial part in the stories that he was not able to. I hope it doesn't effect the development of her gifts. Clearly they saved her life before.

Also, Jasper's character seems to be off que, I guess you cut all his apprehension about newborn rage out to save time in writing, but is it ok for me to 'pretend' that they went thru that step like in the book; it just makes more sense that everyone is so willfully ignorant of the possible dangers of a newborn bella.

Finally, thank you for making Jacob absent for this moment. It really should be all about family. He needs to know that he will be allowed in, but only so far. He needs to know that he won't be tagging along, whereever they decide to go. He needs to enjoy his "friendship'' w/o being awkward w/ it i.e unneccessary touching and increasing emotion or shows of regret that it wasn't him she chose; and let her move on when she is ready.

 

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 30, 2013 06:08 AM · On: Chapter 18

Still makes no sense. I don't see the need for jacob to be their, That weak line about edward assuming he would crush her chest w/ compressions was just that, weak!. We all know he woulda done fine. It seems to me your keeping JB around for the imprinting route [The one I always hated. that was always so sicckkkk to me] Other than that, he really doesn't need to be so involved in the everyday affairs. Every 3 days fine, but he is there EVERRRRYYY DAY. good grief. To make matters worst. He is not the best smelling house guest.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 30, 2013 05:17 AM · On: Chapter 17

You may not realize it, but surrounding yourselves with humans gives you almost as much protection as they have in Volterra."- jane

Now that was insightful. It would be protection of a sort. hmmm. Good thinking.

Also, That was a gr8 moment w/ jane & emmett. Good stuff.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 30, 2013 04:34 AM · On: Chapter 16

Again, not making any sense.... I would understand Edward's new acceptance of all this closeness between Bella and Jake, if Jake's mind once resembled seths, or that he wasn't so persistent about a relationship w/ bella. But I would never allow this if I was Edward, knowning what Jake thought about at one point & time. I would never allow him to be so involved or invited into their home and most intimate sanctuary no matter what the reason. Wtf is in your head when you are writing this?. And now he's gonna take a bath in his house in their personal shower? The F outta here. There is no quick turn around like that when it comes to dealing w/ vampire mates. He was a threat to their relationship at one point!!!. There should be limits to how involved he remains in their lives. All this trash about being in their room, with her head on his lap, is utter foolishness. Then you top it off w/ blanket acceptance [wtf]. when edward walked in finding bella head in jakes lap, in their bed,  you mean to tell me that wasn't even a little upsetting for him??? That his bride, pregnant w/ his baby, has found comfort in the crouch of another man, and spurned suitor of all things, wasn't even slightly upsetting???. [and he was not even on the egdes of the bed either, he was flush against the headboard, feet kicked up smelling like wet dog]. Come on, I know this is Fiction but good grief, your character actions arent making sense.

P.S. this is not about my own personal feeling towards jb/bella relationship. I also know that edward feels more secure in his relationship w/ bella. But as man given what that three way triangle was between the Edward,bella, and JB; If i were edward I would not appreciate what I walked into. I also wouldn't have made the initial decision for him to be a comforter for her. He would still be outside, not smelling up the joint.

U make NO sense!.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 30, 2013 03:40 AM · On: Chapter 15

First off. Wow. I knew jane and alec would argue but never imagined that. Secondly...why the f is JB there? There is a treaty line!!!. How is it he/they waltz's over like there is an agreement for wolves to come to  their homes but not vice versa. Secondly, why the f is edward telling jake's smelly ass to take his 'wife' into their bedroom w/ 7 other ppl he could've asked? Especially w/ jake mind. He's like a squirrel, always trying to get a 'nut' from/off/on the bella tree.

That last part make no sense [bad writing] and makes me sick. Also, would anybody willingly throw a pile of shit in their bedroom?, b/c thats what jake smells like to them.

Im sorry due to the last part... I can't give this a high rating. You're not making sense.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 30, 2013 03:03 AM · On: Chapter 14

I don't get it.... I know you have a story to tell. But from a strategic standpoint, the volturi are idiots. They sent Jane and Alec to the cullens. If this is going to end in a battle anyway, why doesn't  carlise order thier execution to give his allies a better chance?. Catch them by surprise. Im sure jasper can come up w/ a plan and alice can confirm it. Without Jane or Alec on the battlefield, all that is left is mostly fighter and #'s.  Fights over!.

Alec is an eternal child, with his constant taunts and bravado. I always pictureed him as the more rational of the two. I see you decided to take some liberties and flip this, making jane the sane one.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 30, 2013 02:30 AM · On: Chapter 13

And w/ two names, the moment is gone. I wonder how jasper is going to handle himself w/ alec in the room. Thats gonna be a dooze.

But then again. You never write about any of the dooze's.  You never wrote about Jane's POV coming, and staying at the cullen home.  We have no idea of her perspective, and even if/when it does change, there wont be any emotional ties or reasoning for the reader [i.e. me] to grasp.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 29, 2013 06:44 PM · On: Chapter 10

At least jake is trying to be a friend... But all that closeness is still sending mixed signals to me. I don't like it. Seems to me that JB is still trying to 'cop a feel' at every given opportunity.

Bella u dumb whore. You know he has feelings, stop sitting on his lap for hours on end.

And...the battle begins.

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