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Reviewer: gentlereader (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2009 02:29 PM · On: Chapter 1: Glimpses

??-Jumped the shark??
Original meaning was the point when a television series shows it has run out of ideas and must resort to stunts to retain viewer interest. Derived from a scene in the last years of Happy Days when the Fonz waterskied over a shark. Includes actions such as "it was all a dream" episodes, live episodes, lead actors playing guest characters, and putting entire cast into a parody of some pop cultural event.
It looks like "Will and Grace" decided to jump the shark. They are doing a live episode in black and white where they are all characters from Star Wars.  
Placing Harry Potter/Rob playing Cedric in Twilight universe *wink-wink* detracts from your story in my opinion (and this is just that-my opinion-cause it's your story-however you want it).  I loved the original concept of your AU, awesome idea, but dropping character motivations from the original SM into your story (i.e. Edward struggle over taking her soul, he's been tracking her for 17 years... all the sudden he's torn as to what to do?  He wants to keep her innocent-but was prepared to bed her before she bit him, by the way didn't she think it was a little strange he jumped out of a third story window?? His family never mentions she's weirded out-just she's upset he bolted during yummy, sexy time) when the characters came together under completely different circumstances throws the flow and continiuty of your story off.
Like I said just an opinion-still going to read more...

Reviewer: CSmith (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2009 01:14 PM · On: Chapter 5: Seventeen

Eeeeekkk!!!! SOOOOO cute!! I have such a dumb smile plastered on my face hehehe! You rock!

Reviewer: CSmith (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2009 12:25 PM · On: Chapter 3: Thwarting Mike

I am soooo loving this story!!! Great job, love love love it!

Reviewer: AliciaZA (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2009 04:19 AM · On: Chapter 37: Trips

Aww, I really DID enjoy it! I'm glad that Bella and Edward got a chance to visit with Renee and the new baby. I'm ESPECIALLY glad that Emmett scuppered Edward's plans for a wedding in Vegas. How tacky is that? Edward & Bella (not to mention Charlie and Alice - lol) deserve a PROPER wedding with all the trimmings, after all it will be their FIRST wedding (giggle). Hope the next chapter has lots of hilarious Cullen fun with wedding planning, not to mention tons of snarky comments from the admirers - Mike, Jessica, Tyler, etc.

Despite what your other readers may feel, I enjoy the lemony goodness in your stories. It fits into the story, its not overdone and most importantly shows that Edward and Bella have a healthy sexual relationship which is normal and important for all couples.

Felt a bit sad for Edward and Bella over the baby issue but hey, even happiness comes at a price right. And they have each other.

Question: What is Bella's gift/power? And do her and Edward have a third, combined gift/power? What is it?

AliciaZA



Author's Response:

Thanks, Alicia.

There will be a proper wedding, eventually.  But in the meantime...

We might see a little of the third power sometime soon.  Thanks for reading.

Reviewer: Rosalice-Cullen (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2009 02:22 AM · On: Chapter 16: Making Up

"


Emmett snickered knowingly.  “The Volvo has a back seat.”


 


We looked at each other and big cheesy grins took over our faces.  “That’s what I’m talkin’ about,” Emmett said, extending his knuckles for me to bump.


 


“Oh yeah,” I said."


 


 


hahahaha


your story is so good


 


 

Reviewer: queenfrizz30 (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2009 02:21 AM · On: Chapter 37: Trips

It may be filler, but it's well written and entertaining filler. Loved the snow and meet the parents, but I am sorry they didn't make it to Vegas.

Sad but touching between Edward and Bella, and I am sure they will be stronger for it in the long run, I can't wait to see what happens at Prom and the end of the schoold term. Please don't keep us waiting for too long before you update next.

Reviewer: chbestcase (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 10:55 PM · On: Chapter 37: Trips

great story.  loved the lemons...edward...so hot!  i think definitely a sequel...

 

L.

Reviewer: Kyleen (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 10:45 PM · On: Chapter 1: Glimpses

i liked this chapter. its makes for a good beginning. i didnt perceive edward as a stalker creep at all. your edward's bond to bella reminds me of the way jacob and the wolves imprint on their mates...good job cant wait to read the rest of the story...

Reviewer: Rosalice-Cullen (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 10:10 PM · On: Chapter 6: Afterglow

"I began to feel a bit claustrophobic as I noticed my entire family now leaning forward with their eyes trained on me in anticipation."

 

ahahahaha

i love this chapter

Reviewer: Rosalice-Cullen (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 10:01 PM · On: Chapter 4: Truth or Dare

i LOVE this story!!!!

Reviewer: Eidelweiss (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 09:51 PM · On: Chapter 37: Trips

I made it all the way through what was here and I am so sad there is no next button to press --- well not yet at least.

Great, great, great story. You are so talented its sickening. ; )

And I am all in favor of a sequel!



Author's Response:

Thanks for the kind words.  I have enough talent for an original novel--I'm working on one now.  Thanks for reading.

Reviewer: MrsCullen_887 (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 08:24 PM · On: Chapter 37: Trips

i liked it but wat im looking the most forward to are the POWERS!!! i know im a freak lmao but i find it really exciting lmao

Reviewer: Eidelweiss (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 08:14 PM · On: Chapter 30: Man vs. Monster

The mate issue?? Hmmm. Well --- it will be explained, on to the game!

Reviewer: twilover09 (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 06:44 PM · On: Chapter 37: Trips

I thought this was a very sweet, charming chapter. Bella and Edward holding the baby was really cute (I'm a mom myself so I'm a sucker for those kind of scenes!) And the snowball fight and ski trip was great too.

I really liked this chapter, and am excited to see how graduation and prom go. I do have one teensy-weensy request, if I may..........PLEASE DON'T HAVE THEM GO TO VEGAS!!!!!!!!!! :o) I'm not saying it has to be exactly like BD, although I thought their wedding was wonderful, just please not Vegas (too cheesy) lol



Author's Response:

No cheesy Vegas wedding?  Shoot!  And I was going to have them married by Elvis--lol!  Maybe it won't be Vegas, but then again...

There will be a wedding at the end of their senior year, if I decide to write a sequel, so hang in there.  Thanks for reading.

Oh, I'm a mom too, and there is nothing in the world like holding your child, is there?

Reviewer: The Wicked One (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 06:10 PM · On: Chapter 37: Trips

Ok I really like how you handled this... amazing as always... but even though it was filler it did do alot to flesh out bella and edwards take on the family thing... i love the insight.

Reviewer: Eidelweiss (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 05:57 PM · On: Chapter 25: Telling

You did such a great job with the "bed" scene. Perfectly done!

And the tell-off. Wow. I wish I had an Edward to do that to my foes --- or at least a quick enough mind to do it myself! ; )

Reviewer: Pixiguru (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 03:59 PM · On: Chapter 37: Trips

Hi i've just joined on here and love your story i've sat for 2 days reading it I really hope you either carry on or write a sequel.

Thanks for the enjoyable read :)

 

pixi



Author's Response:

Thank you so much.

Reviewer: Eidelweiss (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 03:33 PM · On: Chapter 22: Changes

Well I was pretty close to being correct. Killing me not to read ahead --- but great chapter!

Reviewer: Twilight_obessesed (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 02:48 PM · On: Chapter 37: Trips

WOW the Ocean lemon was Yummy OMG  I cant wait to see what happen  next loved it as usuall :)

Reviewer: Eidelweiss (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 01:09 PM · On: Chapter 20: Snow Angel

Oh my. I think I know why Bella is graceful and if it is why I think it is you are a GENIUS!

Reviewer: DebBee (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 12:06 PM · On: Chapter 37: Trips

This chapter didn't seem like filler to me. I do have to say that I was surprised that Edward didn't try to work in a quickie wedding during their trip to Aspen instead of gving up on the idea so easily. Still the trip was fun to read about, especially the playful interactions between Bella and Emmett. Bella also got her trip to see Renee and her baby brother in, and she ad Edward got a chance to talk about an important issue and to just be together with no danger or major angst. I don't know about anyone else, but I enjoyed reading this chapter. I liked seeing everyone together and happy, the way that they are meant to be. Thanks for writing it. :)

P.S. Do you think you might have a chance to continue SAV II and/or Gifted anytime soon, or will they be on hold indefinitely? They are both good stories and I'd luv to see where you plan to take them when you get a chance. Not to be a nag, just letting you know that they aren't forgotten.



Author's Response:

DebBee--I will update those stories soon, hopefully.  I've just been really busy with life.  Glad you liked the chapter.  Thanks for the support.

Reviewer: gentlereader (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 10:06 AM · On: Chapter 16: Making Up

LOL Harry Potter!  O.K. so ya know I'm gonna read the whole thing, but baby ya just jumped the shark.



Author's Response:

Huh?  How did I just jump the shark?

Reviewer: PLV (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 10:04 AM · On: Chapter 37: Trips

It was a very good chapter. I to wish they could have kids but it's your story and you can write any which way you want. Yes, I know they had a little girl in BD. I just wasn't so keen on her name. Please update soon. I can't wait to see what they do next. Prom I assume.

Reviewer: nidka (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 09:45 AM · On: Chapter 37: Trips

Kristi I couldn´t hate you!! Also I don´t think it´s a filler chapter.

I liked the interaction with Renee and the baby, it was sweet and tender.And you know I love Emmett so the skiing and snow ball fight was cool!

Keep it up. I don´t want this story to end.

 

sincerely,

Karina. 



Author's Response:

Thanks Karina.  As I said, it was a tough chapter to write.  I know where I want to go, but felt obligated to put something in between points to connect the dots, so to speak.  I'm glad people are receptive.  Thanks.

Reviewer: Eidelweiss (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2009 08:00 AM · On: Chapter 18: Twenty-nine Steps

God. I wish Assward would just grow up. But, I guess thats why he's assward, right? I love that the family turned against him... I was getting that tight feeling in my chest = )

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