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Reviews For The List
Reviewer: crazyfanmom (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2009 07:24 PM · On: Chapter 24: Countdown to a Change

Man, you can write a story! But you need one more chapter on the first days after the change! Don't leave us hanging!

Reviewer: WakingSky (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2009 04:30 PM · On: Chapter 24: Countdown to a Change

Please, please - another chapter!!!!

Reviewer: Miss_Beckie_Louise (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2009 02:55 PM · On: Chapter 10: Control

This chapter so deserves a review. it was so cute. and who'd have thought? Bella the dominant. Amazing.

Wonderfully written can't wait to read the rest :)

Reviewer: Allegra (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2009 11:47 AM · On: Chapter 24: Countdown to a Change

You flippin' made me cry...damn it!  Chest and throat tightening...the thing.

 

Hot as always...and I love how Edward bit her...HOT...the way vampire sex should be.

 

Can't wait for another update!

Reviewer: hatesHEA (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2009 02:50 AM · On: Chapter 8: Slight Change of Plans

I love NIN's "Closer', that song is killer, and fit the moment well

Reviewer: sweet_bella_cullen (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2009 11:15 PM · On: Chapter 24: Countdown to a Change

OMG! ;)

Reviewer: LoveRobward (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2009 07:28 PM · On: Chapter 24: Countdown to a Change

Oh wow!  You have really done an amazing job!!! I was so excited when I saw you wrote another chapter...I started back to Chapter 1 and reread it all over again!  I'm already CRAVING more!  You rock!  Your writing is spectacular and I wish you all the best in the contests that your stories are entered in!!!  I've read A TON of fanfic stories and you are by far THE BEST!!!  Love it love it love it!!!  I'll be checking back everyday until another chapter is up!!! Thanks for this again!!!

Reviewer: kycee (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2009 05:39 PM · On: Chapter 24: Countdown to a Change

Please Update soon.  My withdrawl symptoms are getting bad.  I need my "The List" fix quick.  Please have mercy. 

Reviewer: MrsCullen52 (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2009 12:02 PM · On: Chapter 24: Countdown to a Change

OMG!  You are an unbelievable story teller!!!!!  Being a Twilight mom, I had so wished for the story that wasn't told.  And I have read some of the other fan fic on this site, but your story, is OMG!  You will have a wonderful career as a writer.  Please get the next chaper up soon!!!!  Thanks so much for this story. 

Reviewer: eje (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2009 09:25 AM · On: Chapter 1: Frustrated

Laura,

Thank you for responding to my review.  I read your response to My Virtue and understand your point of view better.  Again, I appreciate your reading my review & responding to it.

Keep writing.

Reviewer: eje (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2009 07:26 AM · On: Chapter 1: Frustrated

New to fan fiction, I have never written a review before.  I have read your piece, "The List", so to me, that in itself is a complement.  It is well written and I have obviously enjoyed it or I would not have spent my time on it.

However, I am obviously in the minority and I have a couple of "constructive criticisms" to offer.  I agree with the reviewer My Virtue that these are not the characters of the series I loved so much.  But perhaps they were never meant to be . . .   I don't mind taking the story into more erotic detail, but I must admit that I just cringe with every "fuck", "cum", and similar harsh word of profanity. 

This could be SO MUCH MORE AMAZING if you could be more creative with your vocabulary and not take the easy way out by using such words.  The Edward and Bella that I have come to love might occasionally swear . . . no problem . . . . but I don't think I have ever before seen the word "fuck" so many times in a work of fiction.

Again, I think you have some really good story-telling talent.  I just think that "smut" decreases its value and its "enjoyability."  (Is that a word??)



Author's Response:

Point taken.  Thanks for your review.

Reviewer: robsbella4ever (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2009 01:44 AM · On: Chapter 4: Additions

Damn Good - WOW!!! - OK - now my friends and I have a saying for a chapter like this - PANTY CHANGE ALERT!!! - Damn hun already got ready for bed and now I gotta go change again.  ;) - This is an awesome complement.  Great job and also the last three chapters were awesome as well.  A quite a few of my firends have read this story so it comes highly recommended.  Keep up the good work and can't wait to see what else is in store for poor Edward.  Hehehe.  LOVE IT.

Reviewer: twilove1 (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2009 01:06 AM · On: Chapter 24: Countdown to a Change

Wow. This story is so unlike anything else I've read, and I've really enjoyed every minute. I hope it isn' winding down, cause I know there's so much more you can write that I'm dying to read. I've been so curious about the book Bella was working on, so thanks for the sneak peak. Their love and passion is just so magical and amazing. And the cliff at the end.... there are no words. Thank you for all you've put into this story. It's incredible. 

Reviewer: anira4 (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2009 12:01 AM · On: Chapter 24: Countdown to a Change

 i LITERALLY GASPED OUT LOUD AND STIFFLED A SMALL SCREAM.... OH MY GOD.. I LOVE IT

Reviewer: cygnet715 (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2009 10:26 PM · On: Chapter 24: Countdown to a Change

This one was a tear-jerker, but thoroughly awesome, as usual. Thanks so much for writing The List! Can't wait for the next "Next" button!

Reviewer: cygnet715 (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2009 09:04 PM · On: Chapter 23: Good-Byes

oh the lightning scene. amazing. yummy bad vampire.

Reviewer: choices (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2009 08:33 PM · On: Chapter 5: Consequences

Wet Edward was most awesome.  My husband will thank you! 

Reviewer: ep043148 (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2009 07:51 PM · On: Chapter 24: Countdown to a Change

I really have no idea where to even start. This story is such an amazing find. To all those out there who have yet to read this story, I really feel bad for you. Not only is this story hot, hot, HOT but it is so incredibly well written.

 

You have this whole story happening at a very real pace. They didn't just jump right into things, of course because Edward is ALWAYS second guessing himself. But I love the pace, I LOVE the description, and I love you for writing this and taking the time out of your busy schedule to update for us.

 

The way you describe things and how we get to see through BOTH of their pov's is wonderful. I love how he found her list, I love how he wrote something down, and it was so damn hot when it finally came out into the open between Bella and Edward. I LOVED the dominating chapters. When she dominated him, and he ripped the couch when she went down on him. And then when he dominated her. Oh gosh, and the symphony! That was so incridibly sweet. You had me laughing and crying and completely turned all in one chapter!

Oh Eddie, how I love thee. I would LOVE  to see Edward writing his very own list and sharing it with Bella. I cannot wait until the next update, but for now I suppose I'll just have to reread the other 24 =]!

I love that she licked his teeth. I like when you show the vulnerable side to Edward and how Bella brakes him down and has him at her mercy. He's supposed to be this incredibly strong and rough creature and Bella has him basically on his knees when he's so turned on.

Oh! And here is what I am SOOOO looking forward to: Seeing him hunt, bc that quite turns me on too, Rough, bc rough Edward is the Best Edward, and I CANNOT wait until Bella can watch him pleasure himself. That is going to be SO sexy.

Reviewer: angela of alagaesia (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2009 07:21 PM · On: Chapter 24: Countdown to a Change

Wow Laura --

I am so sorry I did not have a chance to review until now.  I love these two and it has been so long since I read the last chapter - it took a moment to remember their voices - such a pity I had to go back and reread the bottom of the last chapter ;-)  It was just wonderful to snuggle up with them again.  Thank you for inluding time with all of the family and the dialogue between the men and Edward.  I love those touches.  Alice is definitely the Alice of my BFF fantasies - and I am hoping that she has carlisle ready and right outside the door as this chapter fades to black because holy mother my heart can't pound any harder to find out what is going to happen next!!

Reviewer: luv edwards cold kisses (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2009 07:21 PM · On: Chapter 24: Countdown to a Change

Oh my god that last scene was awesome!!!!I never dreamed of Edward making her a vamp like that..how perfect! Can't wait for the next chapter...keep it coming you legend.

Reviewer: RazzleA (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2009 04:25 PM · On: Chapter 24: Countdown to a Change

LAURA CULLEN! YOU ARE KILLING ME WITH THIS WAIT, GURL!

Reviewer: fabulous face (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2009 04:23 PM · On: Chapter 16: The Weekend, Part II

What an exquisite story!  You go girl!

Reviewer: My Virtue (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2009 03:10 PM · On: Chapter 2: Brainstorming, Interrupted

After chapter one & two (where I was giggling through my nose, clasping my hand over my mouth, with waves of butterlies in my tummy) I was hooked on your story. However ... The charachters soon turned into a version nothing like the hero and heroin of Twilight.

I found this story by looking into the top tens, and I quickly realised the reason for it being there must be because 'sex sells'. Your cute, sexy and somewhat innocent idea of Bella's list, quickly turned into a dissapointment as the charachters lost their personalities to make way for pure crassness.

You turned Bella from the sweet, innocent, girl in love with her 'virtuous' man, into a foul mouthed version of the waitress, with the vulgar mind in Midnight Sun. By portraying Bella as somone who discusteded Edward (in MS)  the whole feeling of the story is lost.

Instead of Edward being the Noble, Edwardian gentleman, intent on keeping Bellas 'virtue' (not just virginity) intact, he is your everyday 'modern' man off the street, who delights in dominating his so called 'love of his life', and using filthy, gratuitous language.

The charm and personality of the charachters from Twilight was lost after chapter two IMO. In summery; "The List" is not to a story about the Edward and Bella from Twilight, but one of a very crude couple who just happen to share the same names.

I'd love lots more chapter two's !!! It was fantastic! :)



Author's Response:

Thanks for taking the time to share your opinion.  Sorry you didn't enjoy it, but there are plenty of stories out there without mature-rated content if you find it too out of character.

I don't mean the following as a rebuttal, but just an explanation of my process and how I came to think of the characters the way I have.  I decided to write them as not more modern but as more sexual creatures.  To my mind, there is some precedent for this:  Bella was already asking about sex right after the meadow scene in Twilight (where she asked if Emmett and Rosalie had a normal marital relationship), and then pretty much begged Edward for some sexual activity throughout Eclipse and then begged for more sex after their first time during the honeymoon, so I just don't see her to be as innocent as you do.  As for Edward, I agree he is more out of character, although I find his depiction in the series a little ahistorical (sorry, I'm a historian) insofar as sex was only taboo as a subject of conversation in polite society in the World War I era--people weren't as prudish as prescriptive manuals of the day portray.  Edward was a 17 year old male intent on becoming a soldier--studies of soldiers and sailors of his same age in World War I have shown lots of premarital, non-relationship-based sex (as demonstrated by the widespread treatment of venereal diseases among males his age).  All of this is just to say that while it's realistic for Edward to have been a virgin, I find it hard to believe that he was asexual as a human and remained so for a century despite constantly hearing the explicit sexual thoughts of others.  So these considerations were the basis for crafting my Edward and Bella.  To me, there is nothing crass or crude about a story involving consenting adults who happen to be engaged/married furthering their love and relationship as they develop greater understanding and trust through the evolution of the sexual side of their relationship.

Thanks, Laura

Reviewer: twilightgma1954 (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2009 06:29 AM · On: Chapter 10: Control

my favorite chapter

Reviewer: cygnet715 (Signed) · Date: August 09, 2009 09:04 PM · On: Chapter 19: 7 Days

I love ice cream myself, but... EEEEE! Number 8!! Wahoo! Clicking "Next"...

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