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Reviews For The List
Reviewer: Ithilwen (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2009 02:42 PM · On: Chapter 3: Accomplice

She popped the ‘p’.

It would be "She popped the 'p.' " In American English, periods and commas go inside.


It would be "He looked between Alice and me." It's a direct object.

Edward was "lying" next to her.

 

It's nice to see a character who actually has to tell her male partner what she wants rather than him magically/coincidentally/instinctively doing it without being told.

Reviewer: Ithilwen (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2009 02:30 PM · On: Chapter 2: Brainstorming, Interrupted

This and the previous chapters seem to shimmy between past and present tense.

Reviewer: Ithilwen (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2009 02:25 PM · On: Chapter 1: Frustrated

Heh heh heh!  It's Bella from canon, but only a bit more realisitic and funny/

Reviewer: kas90 (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2009 01:51 PM · On: Chapter 25: The Book and the Change

again, i loved it. i know this is a really simple review, but i just thought you should know.

Reviewer: dixychick97 (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2009 01:22 PM · On: Chapter 5: Consequences

Holy shit!!!!!!!!!!  That's all I can say!  Awesome!

Reviewer: kas90 (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2009 12:20 PM · On: Chapter 23: Good-Byes

I really liked where you've gone with jake's permission and their goodbye. this is really a great story and I'm excited to see how you end it!!

Reviewer: 1sparkylildevil (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2009 09:18 AM · On: Chapter 15: The Weekend, Part I

unbelievably great!

Reviewer: WriterMerrin (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2009 07:16 AM · On: Chapter 20: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

LOL.  I was wondering when Bella was going to realize he'd written on her list.  Brilliant.  I don't think I've mentioned Alice yet, but she's hilarious!

Reviewer: WriterMerrin (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2009 06:47 AM · On: Chapter 19: 7 Days

Oh, Edward finding the notebook was priceless!

Reviewer: WriterMerrin (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2009 06:21 AM · On: Chapter 18: 13 Days

Another awesome chapter!  I love how she reveals the tattoo, and I agree 100% about the car thing.  I think the way you dealt with it was perfect, and it is my new canon.  Edward slips so easily into the role of 'perfect man' in many ways like how he helps Bella deal with Jacob.  *applauds*

Reviewer: WriterMerrin (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2009 06:19 AM · On: Chapter 15: The Weekend, Part I

Okay, I went into this thinking that it would be good to do as you ask and write reviews for every chapter, but I have no earthly idea how to review the smut.  I couldn't let this chapter go, though, because I LOVE the way you let Edward taste her in this chapter. It's something I've been thinking about since I first read the first book.  I have to admit that I fear for Bella's teeth every time she goes down on him, but other than that, this story is spectacular and has kept me from getting anything done all weekend.

Reviewer: Debbie1870 (Signed) · Date: November 21, 2009 07:28 PM · On: Chapter 13: Teasing

First, let say - I love the story!  I think the "blood" thread is great - they are vampires after all.  The one thing I can't get past is B & E calling each other "Baby" - to me that is an Emmett and Rose thing.  It just sounds out of character for E & B.  Keep writing you're very, very good at it!!!!!  I don't know the rating scale is? But if it's from 1 to 10 (10 being the best) I would give you a 10.

Reviewer: 1sparkylildevil (Signed) · Date: November 21, 2009 05:31 PM · On: Chapter 6: Unexpected

Very hot. Love this concept!

Reviewer: BigGlo (Signed) · Date: November 21, 2009 12:28 PM · On: Epiclogue: A Million Tomorrows

This was really good. So glad you kept it canon. I only read E/B stories that stay as close to the books as possible. I have not seen New Moon, but i know some people have already seen it twice. It is not a critical success, but who cares. It is not for critics but it is for the fans!

Anyway great story. Well done!

 

  

Reviewer: Bionic Becks (Signed) · Date: November 21, 2009 10:33 AM · On: Epiclogue: A Million Tomorrows

Loved it from start to finish - Bravo!!!! B xxx

Reviewer: loulouau (Signed) · Date: November 20, 2009 07:36 PM · On: Chapter 8: Slight Change of Plans

oh my god......is that good enough especially sitting here after see new moon the 2nd

Reviewer: dsfq (Signed) · Date: November 20, 2009 07:20 AM · On: Epiclogue: A Million Tomorrows

WOW!!  Thank you for this wonderful read!

Reviewer: Boreon (Signed) · Date: November 19, 2009 09:23 PM · On: Chapter 4: Additions

I was wrong. You've got it exactly. And "Fuck" is pure genius. It's like you've crawled into the secret, dark places of the original author's brain and she is a lusty dirty girl. Kudos and thank-you.

Reviewer: Boreon (Signed) · Date: November 19, 2009 09:09 PM · On: Chapter 3: Accomplice

Laura Cullen, well done!

You really have adopted Meyers' style very well. Seamless. The characters are bang on. And I didn't feel creeped out by any thoughts that Alice was going to hit on Bella or the like. You retained that pure filial love thing. The story is really planing along, like a speedboat.

For some feedback on the previous chapter, I liked it too. My only thought on Chapter two, and I don't think this a criticism, but there's something about Edward always wanting to eat Bella, and mate with her...and eat her that is so very very hot. I loved that he was overcome by lust but I think the thirst has got to remain, as ever, a thirst for her blood, as this, alone, is probably the most erotic element in the books. Maybe it's just me. Do you think the blood thirst may be sort of like thirsting for someone's life force? Lusting after their very being?

Reviewer: mallen (Signed) · Date: November 19, 2009 06:00 PM · On: Epiclogue: A Million Tomorrows

I would really like to replace my memory of Breaking Dawn with this story!  I absolutely loved it and the ending is perfect.  Now that it's completed I have to go back and reread it from the begining!

Reviewer: dsfq (Signed) · Date: November 19, 2009 12:29 PM · On: Chapter 22: The Honeymoon

I want another honeymoon!  This one was picture perfect!

Reviewer: loulouau (Signed) · Date: November 19, 2009 10:39 AM · On: Chapter 2: Brainstorming, Interrupted

Caught god I love Alice well written

Reviewer: kas90 (Signed) · Date: November 19, 2009 10:25 AM · On: Chapter 20: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

okay so i know you've already finished this story, but i'm really hoping we get to see some of edward's fantasies brought to life :) ...again, great chapter.

Reviewer: kas90 (Signed) · Date: November 19, 2009 09:41 AM · On: Chapter 19: 7 Days

I love how you had Edward add his own when he found the list. :) Great chapter!

Reviewer: dsfq (Signed) · Date: November 19, 2009 09:15 AM · On: Chapter 18: 13 Days

Love that you spent a little time offering more of a picture of life beyond just sex in this chapter.  Don't get me wrong, I love the steamy stuff too but this was great!  Thanks!

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