did you bring pie or ramen to your dad's house last night? i got stuck on kitchen detail. you'd think i drove fifteen hours to get here. why did i have to do the clean up? that's crap.

unlike this chapter, which is not crap.

Author's Response:

i brought nothing.  and then i got into the kahlua.  and then my step brother started a fire and decided to pour gasoline on it (yes, even my new siblings are insane), and i took that as my cue to leave.

To answer your question (and this is my very first review!) I stumbled upon this story because I liked the characters in Twilight, and a lot of the storyline of the books... but I felt like the author's style and skills left a little to be desired. So I'm a fan in passing, I guess? I was discussing this with a friend, and she mentioned that many times, fan fiction is better than the actual books, haha! She apparently reads tv fanfics in the off season of her favorite tv shows.

So I started by Googling "Twilight fanfiction" and I found fanfiction.net or whatever it is to be rather cumbersome. I didn't know where to start in terms of Twilight fanfiction, especially since I wanted something kind of specific to New Moon. So, I went to the second site, which is this one. I love the "Top Tens" feature, and I used it to find the most reviewed, and then found this story. It is funny that I even read it, because I had never been "Team Jacob" but now I realize I am... Edward is psychotically overbearing lol

I love your story though. I like the way that it is written, and you make the two POV's different enough that it isn't exhausting or cumbersome to read both. I like the characterization, and you really brought out the life in Bella and Jake. I also love the development of the smaller characters. Even characters that aren't mentioned much, you somehow give them depth through when they are mentioned by other characters.

I also really love Charlie in this, I think there is a real sense of a guy who doesn't know a lot about women, and would do anything to help his daughter, even if it displeases him (like letting Jake get close) and he is reasonable, but still protective. You definitely made it seam reasonable and realistic that Bella would still have alone time for intimate encounters with Jake, but without the cost of stripping Charlie of his protectiveness or making him look like a lenient parent.

 

Author's Response:

Well, you should just be a professional reviewer.  Seriously, that was probably one of the most thought out and accurate reviews I've received.  And I say accurate because you seem to get exactly where I'm coming from when I'm writing this. 
I just acceidentally stumbled on fanfiction myself, simply because I was done with the books and looking for anything to hold my attention.  Like you, I found FFn first, but there are just too many awful fics there to really dig through and find the gems.  So I headed over here and thought I'd give it a shot. 
I fell in love with the characters in the books, but I thought that SM could have done a better job of explaining things to us.  So many people walked away from the books convinced that Bella didn't love Jacob "that way," and that Jake was selfish and immature.  On the contrary, SM's website says that Bella was in love with both Edward and Jacob, and the fact that Jacob defected from his pack to protect Bella is proof enough for me that he's not entirely selfish.  But SM didn't do a very good job of portraying that if so many of her readers walked away with a completely different impression.
I also felt like she failed the secondary characters.  Leah was angsty and tortured, and there was so much opportunity to do something amazing with her story, but it just never happened.  Emily could have been fascinating, but after telling us how Sam imprinted and she was scarred, she was virtually forgotten.  Charlie is easily my favorite, though.  I think I have a soft spot for him since I was raised by a single dad, and as I write his interactions with Bella, I remember all too clearly the awkward teenage moments when my dad was the only parent I had.  My dad was much more comfortable with things---too comfortable at times, having no problem carrying a box of tampons through the grocery store or asking a saleswoman to help me find the right bra---I was mortified!  But as with the other characters, SM didn't do much with Charlie.  It's like she put Bella in a love-triangle bubble, and nothing else happened in her world.  I love that fanfiction lets me change that.

you know...if bella doesn't want to talk, she shouldn't be with jacob. he's a chatty one. seriously.

hmmmm how does jacob hide morning wood?

Author's Response:

he comes to my place before bella wakes up, and i help him out a little.

gah. sam is a cockblocker. emily too.

crazy kids and their hormones.

i love jacob's pov. you write so well as a teenage boy. lol

Author's Response:

i am a teenage boy at heart, you know.  probably why my marriage didn't work out, lol!

and no, i wasn't intending to respond to your 78634247632174 reviews, but they're fucking hilarious!

awkwardness with the whole telling jake that bella is a virgin. yeah. i felt the same way when i lied and told my dad i was one before i got married.

Author's Response:

lmao!  my dad asked me if they made wedding dresses in a kind of faded yellow.  he had no illusions when it came to his daughter.

pfft...has to make his apperance...we're on chapter 70 now and we still haven't seen him. grrr.

Author's Response:

are you sure about that?

“Does this mean we can’t call her Vampire Girl anymore?”

lmao. i like that.

i love embry. i think that he might be my 3rd favorite wolf. after paul of course. can't forget paul.

Jacob may love Bella, but not nearly as much as I love you.