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Reviews For Monster
Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2013 09:19 PM · On: The Big Bad Wolf

  "Sir! You have to pay for that!"(...)        Paul's eyebrows scrunched. "Don't you know who I am?"        "Yes, I do. You're an arrogant boy trying to rip me off because you painted a fake symbol on your shoulder."(...)        "What an asshole."        "Tell me about it. A complete rip off."        Hmm...


  'My jaws still clasped the throat. I increased the pressure in my jaws, growling as I focused. Seconds later, the neck and head of the vampire shattered to bits. She was dead.'        Not bad for a first time.


  Sam is being overprotective, isn't him?  I don't see trying to keep her on the bench working.


  'If I couldn't kill vampires, what would I do to keep my head clear?(...) The face of Mr. Anderson was at the front of my mind. I imagined sinking my claws into his face, digging them into his flesh before dragging them apart, pulling his face apart, listening to the throaty scream. . .(...)        But not even the shift of bone and muscle could extinguish the burn of the released anger that raged through me; real and hot and craving a very bloody revenge.'        I know a creepy man tha is in for a lot of mayhem.  Can't say it bothers me.        P-)

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: June 30, 2013 03:41 PM · On: Tempers and Tails

  'When I studied the faces of the wolves a second time, the names came.(...) The female, silver with spots, was glaring at me with a look of irritation that could only come from one person. Nicole.'        Hah!  I knew it.  To have her sister in her head will be sooo fun...        P-)

  'That. . .        Is a bloodsucker's stench.        Shouldn't we be killing it? We kill them, so . . . what the hell are we waiting for?        Nah, it's just the Cullens.'        Ah, finally something I recognize.  Wonder what's up with the possible border crossing...

  'How will I know them? What happens if I kill them?        Treaty will have been broken and boom, war. Of course we'd win, but Sam wouldn't want that.'        Heh!  Right.  I bet the Cullens think the same.  Well, at least Emmett and Jasper.  Maybe Edward.

  '"Kill a vampire." I whispered the words softly to myself, testing them on my lips. Realization dawned upon me. I wasn't just a heated, oversized freak. I was a fighter now, and I could fight against the creature that had haunted my life for the past eleven years. I almost grinned. Almost.        Maybe having a tail was going to be worth it after all.'        Took her a while, huh?        :-P

  Looks like we are getting to the interesting part.

Reviewer: xanath (Signed) · Date: June 26, 2013 10:55 PM · On: The Big Bad Wolf

finally caught up...a strange story but compelling to read.  Thanks Xanath

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: June 22, 2013 08:03 PM · On: Explode

  Man, that place...  The baby, the spiders...  That was sick.  Who's this Anderson?  Father of the girl she killed at school?  And what are they really doing in that "hospital"?

  And this thing with the Makah being enemy of the Quileutes.  I would like to know more about the background.

  At least, she finally phased and escaped.  About time.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: May 20, 2013 11:39 PM · On: Monster

  "She must have been given a heavy dose."        "She needed it. Our hunter did well to inject her. What a pity, though, that she took his life. I don't think she realizes how truly disoriented she is."        "Only time will tell. The ones with mental issues usually are the hardest to treat."        "No. She won't be treated. She will be punished for what she has done. She's not even tamed. She's too far gone."        I didn't like this talk.

  'Bodies were closely packed together, dressed in the same bland gown that I was wearing. All of them were female. The black hair and droopy cooper skin of each individual made everyone look like siblings. Ribs protruded from below each thin gown. Shoulder blades popped out of backs. Postures were hunched over, and each pair of skinny arms was wrapped around a sunken belly.(...)        "Yes, girl. You are in the women's wing of a Makah jail. Have you not noticed all of us are Quileute?" She paused to wheeze. "They think our tribe is full of demons. All because of our legends. They capture us when they can and put us in these death traps. The only way you get out is to fight."'        The Makah?!?  What the...?

  'The whole dreary cell was now ignited with a soft, silver light, burning into the midnight air above my head. I smiled a little at the sight of it, blinking in curiosity as the light started to form a figure. I peered closer, my brow furrowing in confusion. The silver light approached me, growing brighter and brighter until it stopped, the figure fully formed, and I could clearly see the silver shape of my mother before me.'        Hallucination or spirit, the only light in this place so far.

   I knew this was an alternative universe.  I just didn't realize how alternative.  I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.        :-B

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2013 09:41 PM · On: The Famous Jordan Uley

  2005...  If this have any thing to do with canon, a certain brunette must be in Forks already.

    'Physically, I had aged. My hair had grown out, spreading out across my shoulders. My eyes had darkened to a deeper blue, and my body had completely matured. I didn't know why, but I was a lot taller, too. I measured five foot eleven on the dot. The height brought a slender yet toned look to my body, and new strength that had no source.'        Hmm, I suspect it won't be long now.

  'I was also thirteen because I carried the weight of murder on my shoulders. Beth Anderson was pronounced dead.(...) Beth had died from fatal injuries. I, the maniac child, was to blame.        The cops were already on the search. They couldn't find Sam's house because it was hidden deep in the reservation, but they found his office.(...) Panicked, Sam managed to shove any evidence of his presence in his suitcase while he hid the two of us in a secret opening in the wall.'        Wow.  So 007...        :-p

  I wonder if they hid her because she is family or if it's because they are suspicious she will phase sooner or later.

  'Eventually, Nicole ceased to acknowledge me, and the visits from Jacob stopped. This wasn't much of a surprise, but suspicion got the better of me. Sometimes, I'd be up early to watch the sun rise when I'd see her break through the trees, looking beat up and swaying with exhaustion while she slipped inside, her clothes in shreds and her feet bare.'        Whoa!  Nicole!?  Oh, man, Jordan will find it sooo fun...

  'In an instant, the delirious expression on my face shattered. My hand shot forward and latched on the gun. I gave it a twist, freeing it from his shaking hand before he even realized what was happening. My fingers spun it around, closing around the gun and thrusting it forward, hammering the end of the gun into the man's forehead. The blow knocked him backward, sending him straight onto his behind.'        Dangerous girl, isn't she? 

  '"I'm not a cop."        "Do you really think that I care who you work for?"        "Actually, I do. If you knew who I worked for, you might be more interested."(...)        All it took was the flash of a silver syringe peeking out from his pocket for me to know what I had to do.(...)        The point of the needle missed my arm, but instead met my thigh, splitting through the skin like butter. I could feel the instant throb as the substance inside the syringe entered my bloodstream, working in pace with the thunder of my heart.(...)        I exhaled softly as the world went in fast-forward around me, shimmering like the sparkles of sunlight on water. Then, suddenly, I felt fire streak up my leg, an angry shot of pain. After that, the world closed down around me.'        What.  The.  Heck.  Was.  THAT?!!??        :-O

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: May 05, 2013 10:34 PM · On: Talk to Me

  'The first thing I noticed was that he was barefoot, his feet streaked with dried mud that traveled up his legs. He wore loose shorts that looked as if they were once jeans but were now torn and weathered, riding low on his hips.(...) In the last bit of the second that it took my eyes to sweep over him, I focused on his face. My stomach dropped as I recognized the man.        Paul.'        And the prodigal friend returns. Was Paul the "barbarian" the woman was screaming about?

  'Filled with sudden curiosity and relieved that Paul was unharmed, I pressed my hands into my seat to support myself and pushed myself up. I gazed out of the windshield, expecting to see just a few passing black-tail deer.        But there were no deer. In fact, the creature wasn't a deer at all. Standing before the car was a giant wolf.(...)        I didn't realize exactly how big of a mistake I had made until Paul exploded.'        Heh!  Introduction to the Pack World, crash course.        :-P

  'The impact that should have crushed his skull didn't seem to bother him; he growled again, shaking it off and turning back toward me. This time, when he charged, I managed to strike his back leg with one hard shove of my foot. As he buckled to the ground, I rolled out from underneath him. Taking this as a good opportunity, I grabbed his front leg near the ankle bone and twisted; with a sickening pop, it fell limp.'        Whoa!!  What was Paul trying to do, kill her?  And seriously?  She just knocked down a frickin Wolf?  Wow.

  "Oh, you would know who I'm talking about if you thought about it. Something horrible . . . irritating, problematic, heartless. . ."        "Jacob?"        LOL!!  Oh, yeah, Jacob is a serious threat to anyones peace of mind.        X-}

  "You don't care that I might have killed that girl, right?"        "Might have? That girl's good as gone."        Oh, man.

  I'm suposing Paul was watching Jordan, and after the, huh, incident with Beth, he decided a little rescue operation was in order.  The chaos was him scaring the hell out of everyone in his way to Jordan.  Am I close?  Geez, I just wonder what Sam will say when they get home...

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: April 28, 2013 12:03 AM · On: Tick, Tock

  '"Honey, you aren't even worth the dirt I spit on. And neither were your parents, which I heard is what made you so weird. Thank the Lord they're dead."(...)        My fist met her lip, busting the skin and bringing a sprinkle of blood. Her eyes crinkled, mouth slowly opening as she screamed. The sound droned on while her body fell, thudding to the ground.'        Ugh!  Eli's perfect match.  She asked for this one.

  'So instead, I ducked under the points of her nails and reached out to grab a fancy chair, the ones that the richer kids paid to have at their tables. I ripped it off the ground, holding it up, feeling my small muscles flex under the weight. Beth's eyes widened, her arms slowly rising as if to protect her face.(...)        I swung the chair hard enough to hear it crack. Strength pumped through my arms. I could feel the vibrations in the legs of the chair as it struck her.(...)        Amazement surged inside me as I stared at the crumpled chair. What had I just done? There was no way that I could have. . .'        Okay, that was a little overboard.  Geez, this girl needs some anger management.  But I imagine we all know the origin of this strenght, given her bloodline, right?        :)

  Hmm...  Did Beth die?  This is what I'm asking myself, at least.  I will check next chapter ASAP.



Author's Response:

You'll find out! Sorry for my lack of response. I see it all, but have trouble responding.

Reviewer: Strider (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2013 01:24 PM · On: Talk to Me

I love Paul's rather strange rescue, and how he deflected attention away from Jordan's fight with Beth. But I still keep thinking about Beth, and how there's going to be fallout from that. Poor Jordan is still so young to be going through all this...Very interested to see what happens next!

Reviewer: Strider (Signed) · Date: April 17, 2013 05:28 PM · On: Tick, Tock

Wow, you're right, that was really intense! Great cliffhanger, too...I almost don't want to know what happened. Looking forward to the next chapter!

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2013 11:15 PM · On: Move Along

  'This was the poorest community on our reservation. It was worn out from centuries of struggle, and on top of that, the town appeared trampled and lame from the failed attempts to heal it. I could recall some tales in school of the people in these towns joining gangs for power, snatching whatever they could through open windows, stealing from the lucky families who could afford a bite or two to eat, and digging through overflowing dumpsters.'        Interesting how your La Push seems big.  I normally envision it like a single main set of houses and small stores, with the rest of the territory being forest.

  'They were all moving away on one simple little command, from a simple little voice. The denial tried to push back the thoughts. He was too perfect to have resided into groups of trashy people like this…wasn't he?(...)        My lips parted, chapped with the cold. His name was a bitter whisper, sharper than the breeze slipping through the alley. "Eli?"'        Geez!!  And I thought he was low before.

  'One of my hands lashed forward, knocking the knife out of Eli's grip. The other grabbed his head and yanked it down to my rising knee, connecting with a snap.(...) I slipped an arm around his neck and turned him clean over in a fluid flip, pressing him hard against the cool pavement of the alley.(...)        I didn't want to hear his voice again. I swung my foot forward, letting it collide into his jaw. His head snapped back with an awful crack, eyes closing, blood spurting from his mouth. Eli's body thumped to the ground. He coughed once and then went still.'        Ah, that's more like the Jordan I know.  I will assume she was blindsided last chapter by that psycho.        ;)

  'Just then, a howl rose from the forest. It sounded nothing like the normal lonely cries of a wild animal, but more like a powerful song. A feather of heat brushed down my spine. I couldn't name the emotion brought by the sound. It almost felt like a warning.'        No, neither normal nor lonely, I bet.

  I wonder where she's going now.  Back home or...?

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: March 29, 2013 10:11 PM · On: Reality Check

  'It was hard to tell the difference between one person and another. However, there was a third boy in the back that did seem familiar. I think he went by Quil. I recognized him by his buzz cut; most boys wore their hair long, so he stood out from the rest.'        Buzz cut, huh?

  'I shoved my desk to the side as I stood, and then stared at it for a moment. Was running in the woods with Eli making me stronger?(...)        The halls were empty, thankfully. Taking in thick breaths of air, I rounded the corners while I weaved my way toward the bathroom. A splash of cool water on my boiling skin sounded good right about now.'        Strong?  Boiling skin?  Hmmm...

  '"There was never a you and me. Ever. The last few months have been the biggest joke I've had in a while."(...)        Eli's face seemed to be turning purple. "You're just a little whore who shouldn't be alive," he spat. "It's obvious Sam only looks after you because he takes pity on you. You're a worthless screw-up who wants nothing more than attention and people to feel bad for you.  YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT! I'M ALWAYS RIGHT!"(...)        My thoughts were ended with a burst of pain. His fists zipped forward, pounding into my face repeatedly.'        Man, this boy is mental!  And to think that, last chapter...        :(

  But I think it's a little strange that it was so easy to beat down a girl who was victorious over three gang boys.

  'Muttering to myself, it took me a minute to process the fact that I was being watched. When the realization hit, I raised my head. Back down the hall in the window stood a man, his eyes trained on me. If that wasn't weird enough, I noticed the blackness of his eyes. They caused the hair on my arms to rise slightly. He almost looked like another Quileute, except his skin was snowy white.'        Great.  The cherry on top of this sundae.        :-/

  Looks like Sam will need that shotgun, after all.  Or maybe Jordan could borrow it?        P-)

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: March 29, 2013 08:48 PM · On: It's a Date

  'Nicole lifted a small book. It was a notebook with my name scrawled across the front. "Just thought I might get rid of this. It's like a diary, and there's nothing interesting in it. B-o-r-i-n-g."        "Hey! GIVE IT BACK!"        Nicole's lips formed a smirk. She snapped the book shut before she turned and dashed down the hall. "Will you make me my breakfast now?"        "No! Get it yourself!"        "Then I guess you don't really want it that much!" She looked over her shoulder and winked before she blew a kiss at me and darted into the kitchen.(...)        "It's okay, honey," Sam reassured me in a soothing tone. He lifted his hands and placed the diary firmly in my palms. He shot a warning look in Nicole's direction before his attention focused on me once more.'        What a pest!  Nicole have no idea how close she came of being trashed.        :-P

  'His fingers jerked open and the spoon in his hand clattered to the ground. He whipped around, his hands braced on the counter. His chocolate brown eyes were as big as saucers. "You mean . . . a date?"        "Do you count biking as a date?"        "Are you gonna be alone?"        "Yeah."        "Then it is a date!"'        LOL!! Drama queen.        X-}

  "Jordan!" Seth grabbed my hand and shook it briefly. I rolled my shoulder and rubbed my arm, hoping that he hadn't popped it out of place. "It's so awesome that I get to meet you! I haven't heard much, but you sound so cool!"        I smiled slightly, my gaze set on Seth's bright expression. "Yeah, I guess I could be. Thanks."        I guess 10 year old Seth would be something like that.  Well done.

  Nice to see Jordan having a good day, for a change.        ;)

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: March 17, 2013 06:32 PM · On: Gathered Pride

  Hmm, snack-sized chapter.        :-P

  'A second passed. Then another. And another. Just when it seemed that Sam wasn't going to react at all, the door flew open.        Warm arms wrapped around me tightly, nearly leaving me breathless. I smiled against the fabric of his shirt, letting my arms, too small to wrap around him, return the hug. Sam's cheek pressed against the top of my head. His free hand smoothed out the tangles of my hair while his body swayed gently. He rocked me back and forth slightly, saying nothing. It took a few minutes for Sam to find his voice.'        Heheheh!  Point for Eli.        ^_^

  And now I ask:  what happens next?  I will stay tuned.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: March 03, 2013 08:09 PM · On: Eli

"I'm still with you. Even if you don't see me, I'm there."        Does Sam mean it literally?        ;)

  'I enjoyed the space, the time to think. But ever since the news of Paul's disappearance, I had considered going home.(...)        Jared, one of Sam's younger friends, had temporarily dropped out of school due to a horrible case of mono. Apparently another young man, whom I guessed to be Paul due to his alarming absence, had followed.'        Mono, huh?  That sounds familiar...

  Jordan's meeting with Eli was interesting.  But I'm not sure I understood it well.  Did he just convince her to simply go home?



Author's Response:

This is all foreshadowing. His intentions and why he did what he did will come up later. It's a crush.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: February 17, 2013 11:28 PM · On: Dead Ends and Dead Roses

  'I felt the wind of his hand when it swooped by me, but I was faster. I ducked down and grabbed his left leg, yanking it out from under him. His head drove hard into the pavement with a crack.(...) The sound of the second boy's footsteps faded into the distance—he had fled.'        Heheh!  Impressive indeed.  But any level of skill is useless against a cold one.  If she try to face one, she will be toast.        :-]

  'A girl was racing down the sidewalk toward me.(...) Even though I had never seen her before, I knew who the girl was even before I heard the sound of her voice.(...)        One little hand slipped out of the grey, soiled sweatshirt she was wearing and took my own. I had an urge to shiver but held it back.'        There's something odd with this little girl.  How could she avoid being seen, speaking to Jordan from so close?  Is she a ninja or what?        :-P

  Another step on Jordan's journey.  I still can't see where she will end.  Did she even find her old house?

Reviewer: payday00 (Signed) · Date: February 16, 2013 12:18 AM · On: Cold

Do you need a banner because I could make one for you if youd just tell me what you want on it :)



Author's Response:

I do have one, but if you read the fic (the FFN version is more filled out due to not having to wait for acceptance, it's 63/70 chapters posted) you can read over there and make one if you're interested.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: January 18, 2013 10:30 PM · On: Runaway

  "Your father, my half-brother, was Quileute too. Your mother is not. But you were never in Alaska. You've always lived here, on the reservation.(...)        You were always asking to see them. I told you that you couldn't. I thought that you would heal if I cut off all ties to your parents. I wasn't sure if you could see the memories."        I don't particularly like all the lies he told her.  But, after seeing her running away after this talk...  I don't know if I can blame him.

  'I had to squint to read the tiny print at the bottom of the article, but I could barely make out the words "privacy is ignored so that the general public may take further precautions while this situations causes them to be at risk," or something like that. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. So the press on the reservation thought that I was a wacko murderer? Ha-ha. Guess their paper's sales have really been slacking lately.'        I guess so.        :-T

  'The whole reservation must be taking this whole thing pretty seriously, if they would beat a thirteen—nearly fourteen—year old boy to try to force answers out of him. My stomach rolled, bile rising in my throat while I pictured the official striking Paul in the face when he refused to give information that he didn't even have.'        She can't have got it right.  Can she?        :-|

  Not her brightest moment, eh?



Author's Response:

Thanks for your feedback! I'm sorry for the little gap in sending in chapters there, I'll try to be posting this soon. :] Things are going to take twists and turns and might be a little misleading, but I hope you stick through. :] Part one/these first twenty chapters are meant to show the development of Jordan Uley, so there will be changes in her as we go along. Hopefully, you stick around for the ride. :]

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: January 18, 2013 09:17 PM · On: Games Gone Wrong

  'It had been two years since I'd been in the loony bin. A lot had changed. I had returned home from my "escape" to a very shocked Sam. He had taken me right back, allowing me to clean up from my run home.(...)        "You know I want what's best for you and your sister.(...) I might not have done the best job so far, but I'm trying. Sending you to that place was the wrong decision and it was very . . . rash. I'm sorry."'        He can say that again.        :-/

  'The boy was named Jacob Black. Jacob and Nicole started talking instantly, and it seemed like they had never stopped since.(...)        The kid helped me up, and he apologized with a light joke about my height, claiming that he "hadn't seen me all the way down there" because I was small. I later learned the boy's name was Paul Lahote, and he was a pure Quileute living on the reservation. Even though he was nearly two years older than me, I got along much better with him than I did with Jacob, or even Nicole. I allowed myself to trust him and savor his company. Sam and Nicole were too busy for me, anyway.'        Jacob and Nicole, Paul and Jordan.  Interesting...        :)

  'She was sitting perfectly straight on the boulder, her shoulders bunched up and stiff. Her hands were frozen, still reaching for the sandwich. Nicole wasn't moving or speaking. I wasn't even sure she was breathing.(...)        Two blotches of crimson stuck out in the green of the forest. They were eyes, no doubt. Cold and hollow, empty of emotion. I knew those eyes.'        Me too.  Sunuva...  I wouldn't be surprised if it's James.  Would be just like him to haunt two kids after murdering their parents.

  'A huge black form towered over the white blur. Time sped up again, and the heroic thing gave another growl before disappearing again. The monster from my nightmare was gone with it.'        Whatever flaws Sam have, he have a good timing.        :)

  It was good to see things going uphill after her escape.  Not so good to see that the vampire is stalking them through the years.  Let's see where it goes.

Reviewer: Dydear (Signed) · Date: January 10, 2013 04:52 AM · On: Cold

O.O  Holy cow.  This was beautifully written.  Horrific, but beautiful.  I'm excited to read more!  Wow!  

Ok, one thing that drove me out of the storytelling was the use of the word "I's".  Like nails on a chalkboard, that non-word.  

But oh my goodness, who cares?  This was really good!

 



Author's Response:

Well thank you kindly!

Reviewer: darkdeviant (Signed) · Date: December 27, 2012 07:06 AM · On: Bad Feelings

compliments for your story...intresting story. it has two of the things i look for when finding something to read online decent writing and a story line that hasnt been done a tho usand times. or a unique perspective on a common storyline.

 

i dont know where exactly you are taking this and u have done well creating an org charcter that has real personality. both of these things make me, the reader excited to  go farther into this world u have created.

 

only critisms i have are, in my opinion it is moving rather slow and found chapter 2 to be a bit confussing, though that might just be due to the enviorment i was reading it in....i couldnt devot my full attention to the story...i will need to go back and read it again. mayb when i am akle to focus more i will no longer find it hard to follow.

 

i apoligize for any spelling errors in this review i am typing on my droid phone and it is hard to go back and correct my typos.



Author's Response:

Thanks for your review!!

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: December 25, 2012 09:15 PM · On: Bad Feelings

  Now, how stupid is Sam?  He's a Wolf, he must know what happened with her parents.  What really happened.  And he puts her in a madhouse with a woman who probably isn't qualified even to take care of...  huh...  people with usual problems?  As if he was a ignorant normal person who doesn't know better what she's going thru?  Gimme a break!        :-/

  Congrats to the little one for escaping.  Let's see how far she goes.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 26, 2012 09:27 PM · On: Breaking the Ice

  'Uncle Sam and Nicole were back at the house, completely oblivious to my absence. They never would suspect that I would leave the house in the winter. The house was really big and pretty and warm—I only came out to play in the snow with Sam and Nicole once a day because I hated the cold, as far as they knew. Really, I liked the snow. The numbness of it just felt . . . good.'        Numbness.  Yeah, I imagine it does.        :-|


  'I believed that my dreams of my father and mother's deaths were fake. Sam had drilled that idea into our minds. We went along with it, up until one winter afternoon when Sam told us something that changed everything completely.(...)        I wasn't sure that it was the best time to let us hear that, but Sam said he just couldn't take the questions anymore.'        I'm not sure I understand why he lied like that to begin with.  Not the best way to deal with the situation, I think.        :(


  'My gaze fell from the sky and landed upon a figure I instantly recognized. He stood beneath the grey sky, his stance tall and his body lean. He was as white as the snow, positioned in a crouch. His expression was frozen in a wild screech when he leaned toward me.'        Whoa!!  Is this the same one?  What, is he stalking her?


  'What looked like a black shadow stood over me, its breath huffing out of its front. The creature was not at all a Cold Man. Confused, I cracked an eye open and stared back into two gentle pools of dark blue.'        Dark blue?  Interesting.


  Boy, if wasn't that close!  If it isn't him, that guy could pass for James; seems sadist enough, at least.  Just one doubt, Words.  Did this confrontation happen in the past, just after Sam told them about his lie, or was it in the present, in her last escapade?



Author's Response:

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 16, 2012 10:27 PM · On: Cold

  '"Otay, Daddy." I faked a yawn and smiled when my parents retreated.(...)        Within minutes, both Nicole and I were stationed at our bedroom door. Clutched firmly in each of our trembling russet hands was a plastic toy gun. Daddy told us they were "fake," but I didn't believe him. We would need guns when we did dangerous things like walk around the house in the dark.        Which was, of course, extremely dangerous.'        Heheheh!  Cute.        :)

  'Mommy's lifeless body was sprawled across the floor in an unnatural position. Her gentle blue eyes were wide open��”but unseeing��”and her clothes were ripped. Her lips were slightly parted, as if she was allowing the life to flow out of her. Her chest was still and lifeless.(...)        Across the room stood a lanky, intimidating man with a pale complexion. He was bent over a russet figure that could only be Daddy, his mouth firmly attached to his neck while his hands grasped his shoulders.'        Geez!  But you gave the little thing a rough start.  That will leave scars, for sure.        :-[

  I was surprised that the vampire let her be.  Either he was satisfied, or he thought it would be fun to leave a child branded for life by his actions. I'm betting on the latter.

  Well, Words, no one can accuse you of a bland beginning.  Let's see the rest.        :)



Author's Response:

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